Story 1.
Disclaimer: I own nothing!!
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Kyle was confused. Last he remembered, he was getting attacked by Man-Bear-Pig. Now he was in a lame train station place, naked. Shit. He really wanted to not be naked, because someone might see him. Then, he had his jacket and stuff on. Wishes? Maybe this place wasn't as lame as he thought. Then, he saw an old man in robes with white hair, apparently looking for someone. He looked like that one old guy from those Harry Potter movies everyone was watching.
"Um, hello? Where am I?" Kyle asked, walking over there
"Oh, young Harry, you are-" The old man said, not having seen him yet
"My name's not Harry, my name is Kyle, now where the hell am I?"
"Oh! Why are you here? I could've sworn that only Harry Potter was supposed to be here..." The old man muttered. "Anyway, young Harry-,"
"My name is Kyle!"
"You are dead"
"I can't be dead!" Kyle said, looking over himself, not seeing any transparency or anything he expected
"This is where the people who aren't supposed to die go. Now, you have a choice, young Harry-"
"My name is Kyle, you stupid crackhead!"
"Go on, or go back"
"Go on? Go on where?" Kyle asked, wondering if the guy meant to the afterlife.
"On. If you go back, you go back into your world, alive and well, although it'll be hard to breathe at first..." the man said
Kyle knew this was a hard decision. If that crackhead wasn't lying, then he could either go on and never see his friends again, or go back and have to suck Carman's balls.
He made a mental list of the decision:
Go back: Pros: Get to go on with life like nothing happened. Cons: Have to suck Cartman's balls and deal with him
Go on: Pros: Don't have to suck Carman's balls and deal with him. Cons: Never see his friends or family again till they were all old and lame.
Kyle made his decision, saying "I want to go back. Being dead will be lame and when I see everyone again, they'll all be old and lame."
"Good decision, young Harry-"
"My name is Kyle you goddamned asshole!"
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Came to me one day. Flame as much as you please, for I need something to eat besides this. Munches on a really old and stale smore