Title: To All the Boys I've Love Before
Rating: T
Genre: AU/All Human
Pairing(s): Bonnie/Tyler, Bonnie/Stefan, Caroline/Matt, Stefan/Elena, Jeremy/Luka, ect.
Summary: Bonnie Bennett keeps her love letters in her mother's old hatbox. Not ones she's received but ones she's written to every boy she's ever loved-there are five in all. The letters are meant for her eyes only. Until the day her secret letters are mailed out and suddenly Bonnie's love life goes from imaginary to out of control.
Warnings: All Human, Fake/Pretend Relationships, Language, Fluff, ect.
Author's Note: If you couldn't tell by the title this is inspired by To All the Boys I've Loved Before! Its closer to the book than the movie in terms of the triangle aspect and a few other details. To be honest I'm not sure that I like how this turned out to far but I was encouraged by some people on Tumblr to post so I'm posting. I am honestly nervous about this. The rating might actually change later. I haven't decided yet. I didn't want to go directly from the source material and give you guys the same scenes play by play. I wanted to make the plot by own and so hopefully it pays off. Please excuse all errors and happy reading!
PART ONE || BAD OMENS
"Most letters were love letters until they were not." ― Patricia Lockwood
Bonnie Bennett had never had a real high school romance and she preferred it that way. Bonnie would never be the Molly Ringwald of any story. She was more along the lines of an Ally Sheedy. Not in the creepy outcast that wears all black and has enough dandruff to make it snow on a scenic sketch of a log cabin kind of way, more along the lines of being the background lead or the supporting cast of the story.
While in The Breakfast Club both Claire Standish and Allison Reynolds get the guy in the end, it was very clear that Claire was the female lead. Not only was Claire the one who was coveted by all three guys at the start, she was the one who was given the most attention out of the two females, experienced the most vulnerability and the most character growth. All those things that scream lead. Lead. LEAD. Allison didn't even get the guy until she changed herself to look more like Claire towards the end of the movie. Claire was the one the girls aspired to be even until the very end.
In fact if one were to binge watch every Molly Ringwald eighties movie, which Bonnie has done multiple times, even when she was playing the outcast Molly was still the clear lead. Sixteen Candles and Pretty in Pink were both examples of this. Even as someone who wasn't popular she was the one the boys became interested in, the girl that was so "different" they just had to be near her and be around her. While Bonnie had never been the Molly Ringwald, she wasn't exactly the outcast either. In fact outcasts would've gotten more attention than Bonnie did. Bonnie was only the Ally Sheedy of the story on a good day.
Most days Bonnie was supporting cast. She was the best friend played by the no name actress that no one ever saw again that cheered Molly Ringwald on but never had her own story arc or character development.
However, Bonnie had never really minded this. Bonnie wasn't unpopular per se. She was a cheerleader but she didn't really hang out with them all that much outside of games and school activities. She was the girl who was sweet and talked to everyone. The girl who had cool friends but wasn't cool. The girl who would rather stay at home and watch old movies with her Grams than go to Tyler Lockwood's latest party on a Saturday night.
Her friends knew this about her and they accepted it. She was the reason that they still had slumber parties on the weekends. The reason that they went over each other's houses for dinner and had movie nights every Friday. They knew Bonnie and Bonnie knew her comfort zone and she rarely strayed outside of it. Luckily they met her half way when they wanted to hang with her, even if she didn't really see much of them otherwise. Because unlike Bonnie, both Elena and Caroline were leads.
Elena was the actual Claire Standish of the group. Cheerleader. Most popular girl in school. The girl all the guys wanted and all the girls wanted to be. She was mysterious and yet transparent, with the tragic backstory and all.
If Elena was the main protagonist then Caroline was the female antagonist, though frenemy was a better word. Caroline was the captain of the cheerleading squad, head of the spirit committee, second most popular girl in school and a blonde bombshell. So in other words she was basically just like the Caroline from Sixteen Candles only, just a touch less shallow. Though, as she was dating Matt Donovan she did have the sensitive jock boyfriend thing covered.
Since Bonnie had popular friends she was semi-popular by association but she didn't really hang out with anyone else in that crowd and avoided social interaction like the plague on most days. Majority of the time she spent most days as the extra in the background with her head in a book.
But Bonnie truly didn't mind. While she loved the idea of the high school movie experience, she understood it didn't play out like that in real life. She loved the idea of the boy meets girl and the in crowd parties and the kiss on the table over a birthday cake with your ultimate crush and John Cusack standing outside of her house with a boom box declaring his love, but Bonnie could only get behind these things in theory. In practice it all seemed impractical.
Bonnie loved the idea of love as well but she knew that as at Bennett woman, love was beyond her. The Bennett women were cursed when it came to love. There was a debate about when it had started but it never ended well for people like them and the curse went back over hundreds of years.
According to the journal of Emily Bennett, that was kept in the towns archives by the Mystic Falls Historical Council, a slave who had been sold the Gilbert family and brought to Mystic Falls in the 1800's, the curse started with a woman name Qetsiyah who had been an oracle in ancient Greece and madly in love with a hero named Silas who broke her heart by taking her best friend as a lover. Qetsiyah had died of an opium overdose after murdering Silas and his lover. That's where the curse began.
Emily Bennett, had upon her arrival, been seduced by John Gilbert who had once the affair was discovered accused Emily of witchcraft to escape responsibility and she had been, as a result burned alive by the town council.
Then there was Bonnie's grandmother Sheila who had lost her husband in the war she had been protesting as a college student and found out that she was pregnant with Bonnie's mother right after he passed away.
Then there was Bonnie's mother, Abby Bennett- Wilson, who Bonnie never really spoke about or to. She'd left her father for another man only to have that same man cheat on her and leave her to raise his love child with another woman. Bonnie saw her mother's case as more of a karmic lesson than the curse but she never told anyone that.
In any case the Bennett curse made love impossible for Bennett women, but that didn't mean that Bonnie had never been in love, however. Bonnie was human and like any other girl at or around her age she had been susceptible to teenage hormones and had before that, had childhood crushes.
When her first crush came, the first crush that truly mattered, Bonnie had been twelve and she hadn't known what to do with those feelings. It wasn't until she and her Grams had watched the Jane Austen Collection together on Masterpiece Theater that a solution came.
In Jane Austen's, Persuasion, Anne Elliot was talked into giving up her love for Captain Wentworth at a young age and there was a whole lot of angst when they reunited years later. The most important piece of their story, for Bonnie, was the love letter that Captain Wentworth wrote to Anne towards the end declaring his feelings. It was by far the most beautiful thing that Bonnie had ever heard. The love letter to end all love letters. She had seen the film so many times that she could quote it.
Her favorite line was. "You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever." Every time she heard it or read it she cried. Caroline always said it was a case of her being dramatic but a little drama never hurt anyone.
Bonnie hadn't read the book until much later but seeing the letter in print only solidified her choice of action. It seemed to her after hearing and reading that letter, there was no other real clear way to express her feelings than on paper. So Bonnie had begged her grandmother to take her to the only art store in town to pick up stationary. She had chosen paper bordered with all kinds of flowers and red envelopes because red was her favorite color. She'd even gotten a fountain pen. She had gone home and up to her room and she had written her first love letter to Tyler Lockwood, the first boy she had ever kissed.
She would write four more as the years passed. By the time she turned seventeen there were five total. One to Tyler Lockwood, the most popular boy in school. One to Luka Martin, the first boy to ever dance with her at homecoming. One to Ben McKittrick, the first boy to ask Bonnie on a date. One to Enzo St. John who Bonnie had never actually seen in person as he was a pen pal that lived in England who was assigned to Bonnie her freshman year. Their exchange of letters had been the highlight of Bonnie's freshman and part of her sophomore year. The love letter was the only letter that Bonnie had never actually sent him. The last letter was to Stefan Salvatore, the first boy that Bonnie had ever truly loved not based on fantasy but based on actually knowing him. He was also her best friend Elena's boyfriend.
The letters weren't love letters in the strictest sense of the word. The letters were more along the lines of goodbye letters. They were so that she could absolve herself of those feelings. So that she wouldn't fall victim to the Bennett curse. Once the feelings were down on paper she was no longer consumed by all-consuming love. She could let go and she could move on.
She poured her heart and soul out into those letters and then she folded them, placed them in their envelopes, sealed them and then put them in the only thing Abby Bennett- Wilson, had left behind when she had left Bonnie and her father, a red vintage hatbox. She kept them there not out of any sentimental attachment to her mother but to remind her of the curse, to remind her of what love did to people. Love left, in death or simply in selfishness as Abby had and when it left, people were broken.
Bonnie's letters set her free. She didn't revisit them. Or at least she wasn't supposed to. However, the night that Elena broke up with Stefan, Bonnie took her hatbox off of the shelf in her closet and took out her letter to Stefan. She read it again and then she took out her fountain pen and she wrote a postscript. It was her first mistake.
:::
When Elena had announced to everyone that she wanted to spend her junior year abroad participating in a foreign exchange program in England, Bonnie had been the only person that hadn't been surprised. Since the deaths of her parents Elena had been wishing to escape the town's borders and experience something else. To be something other than the popular Gilbert girl with the tragic backstory. As Elena was the lead character of her own story Bonnie knew eventually she would want to write a new chapter. Still Bonnie wasn't sure what she was going to do without Elena.
Elena was more than Bonnie's friend. Elena was like a sister. She and Bonnie and Caroline had been inseparable since kindergarten. They had done everything together. Without Elena going into their junior year just felt empty.
Caroline didn't see it that way. She saw it as an opportunity. "We'll finally be out of her shadow," Caroline beamed, "I'll miss her of course but we can finally be the ones that are seen. You can finally get a life. Get out of your comfort zone because I don't care what you say, Elena is an enabler where you're concerned. Who knows you might even find your own boyfriend now that you can't be Elena's third wheel anymore?"
Bonnie hadn't argued because apart of her thought that Caroline was right. But Bonnie had no interest in any of those things. Bonnie wanted to spend her junior year with both her friends and make memories. She didn't want to send Elena off on a plane and spend her junior year mourning her friend's absence.
Even so, on Elena's last night in town, Bonnie organized a movie night and they decided to have their last slumber party before Elena's departure. Movie nights usually consisted of Bonnie, Caroline and Elena. At least they had before. However, since Caroline and Elena had started dating sophomore year, movie night consisted of Caroline and Matt, Elena and Stefan, and Bonnie.
However, Bonnie made herself get used to it. They never wanted her to feel left out, especially Stefan and Elena and so they even invited Bonnie on their dates sometimes but it always got awkward and in all honesty she hadn't liked seeing them together at first.
It wasn't that she was jealous per se, it was just that Bonnie had been the one to see Stefan first. Stefan's family had lived in Mystic Falls decades ago and had moved back when his father had inherited some old property. On his first day of school it had been Bonnie that had noticed him first. It had been Bonnie that commented on his hot back. It had been Bonnie that had showed him around school and eaten lunch with him and talked and talked and talked until the last bell. It had been Bonnie that Stefan had given his number to and that had convinced him to try out for football and that was where he had met Elena, walking Bonnie to cheerleading practice after he had prepared for football tryouts. The rest was history.
It wasn't that Bonnie didn't think they made a cute couple or anything like that. They did. It was just that Stefan was always so different around Elena than he was with her when they hung out alone. He was always so reserved and uptight and polite and distant with Elena. Elena had to beg him to dance at school dances. Elena had to work to get him to smile. Elena had to ask and ask and ask to get details about his life. He always seemed like he had to try so hard with her, which was weird since they were a couple. He was never as comfortable as he was when he was with Bonnie. Or Caroline. Or his friend Lexi that sometimes came to visit from college. Or even his brother Damon that he had a love and hate relationship with.
"That's because everyone always feels like they have to try so hard to live up to Elena's expectations," Caroline had said when Bonnie mentioned it, "She doesn't mean to do it but she puts people up on a pedestal and then when they don't live up to what she wants them to be, she pouts and whines and then they fall back in line. Its manipulation but no one wants to call it manipulation because it's Elena and she's the golden girl. Even Matt still falls for it sometimes and he's been over her for a while."
Caroline had been dating Matt almost since Matt and Elena broke up. Bonnie called Caroline and Elena frenemies because a lot of the time they didn't like one another and often tolerated each other for Bonnie's sake. Caroline felt like Elena was stuck up and conceded and Elena felt like Caroline was shallow and self-absorbed. Bonnie didn't like getting in the middle and so she never commented when one brought up faults in the other.
Even though Caroline didn't always like Elena, like Bonnie, Caroline loved Stefan. Really everyone loved Stefan. Elena's family. All of their friends. Pretty much everyone in town. He was sweet and kind and considerate and came from a good family. The definition of a well-bred southern gentlemen. There were a lot of reasons to love Stefan. If Bonnie had to say as to why Elena loved Stefan, it was because everyone else did.
Caroline was accurate about Elena and expectations to a certain extent. She liked people that fit a certain standard. Stefan lived up to everyone's standards and so she loved him for it. The only time Bonnie had ever seen them argue was when he'd fallen short when Lexi had come to town and he'd gotten so drunk at a surprise party she threw for him that he threw up in his father's cherry red 1963 Porsche on his way home. Elena had agreed with his father's assessment that he'd been an embarrassment and hadn't spoken to him for a week. Bonnie had talked Caroline and the spirit committee into organizing a carwash fundraiser at the school to get Stefan off the hook for cleaning the interior leaving it to Tiki instead and she'd brought him and Lexi one of her grandmother's herbal hangover remedies the morning after. She and Lexi had been tight ever since then.
It was true. Everyone loved Stefan. Because Caroline loved Bonnie and she also loved Stefan, but mostly because she loved Bonnie, she'd agreed to go with her to pick up snacks and food for their last movie night with Elena until Christmas.
"Listen," Caroline was saying, as Bonnie drove them to Mystic Grill, "When we say goodbye to Elena at the airport tomorrow that's it. I am not going to let you spend our junior year sulking about the fact that you are not going to spend your days trailing behind Elena."
Bonnie was only half listening because Caroline had given her that lecture before. She was trying to focus on the road. Bonnie wasn't a bad driver per se, she just got extremely nervous behind the wheel and she was also terrible at multitasking which meant talking was normally out.
Bonnie was trying to concentrate on pulling into one of the parking spaces out front but right as she was pulling into it a crow came out of nowhere and flew right into her windshield causing both her and Caroline to scream, Bonnie to swerve and the car to end up driving up past the curb. Bonnie managed to break just short of bulldozing over Tyler Lockwood as he sat at one of the tables outside.
Bonnie cursed under her breath as he looked at her with wide eyes and stood from his table. "Are you okay?" she asked Caroline.
"I'll live," Caroline muttered, "Barely."
Bonnie rolled her eyes and then sighed as she heard a tap on her window. Frowning Bonnie turned to see Tyler leaning against her car and staring at her expectantly. Bonnie closed her eyes and took a breath before pressing the button to roll the window down.
"I'm so sorry," she said quickly and sincerely even as his face took on a smug expression.
"So were you trying to run me over Bennett or was the whole vehicular homicide attempt just a happy accident," he asked.
Bonnie glared at him, her remorse leaving her. "There was a crow."
Tyler blinked. "A crow? Like a crow, crow?" he repeated his expression somewhere between confusion and amusement.
"What other kind of crow would it be, Lockwood?"
"Right. Wouldn't your Grams say that was a bad omen or something? Should I run and get some salt from the table so that you could throw it over your shoulder maybe? Say a chant or blessing or whatever new age thing she's teaching you these days."
As he leaned into the car Bonnie resisted the urge to roll his head up in the window as Caroline laughed. Bonnie reached over and pinched her friend in the arm before turning to Tyler. "Are you done," she spat, "She teaches Occult studies not new age crap and just because she's a spiritualist and naturalist doesn't mean everything she says is ridiculous."
Tyler sighed the humor leaving. "I know that Bennett. She's in my mom's yoga class and has her using crystals now. It's actually helping a lot of mom's personality flaws. It was a joke," he frowned, and then, "Are you alright?"
Bonnie stared. She wasn't sure what surprised her more, Carol Lockwood using crystals or his concern for her. This was part of the reason that she and Tyler hadn't talked since middle school. He was literally a Sour Patch Kid. First he was sour and then he was sweet. Bonnie had never been able to keep up with the mood swings. Popularity had only made it worse. "I'm fine."
"Fine, fine or Bonnie fine?" Tyler asked.
Bonnie looked back and forth between Caroline and Tyler. "What does that even mean?"
Tyler shrugged. "Sometimes you say you're fine even when you're not so you won't be a bother to people. Like that time you fell out of the tree in my backyard when we were ten and pretended to be fine even though you sprang your ankle, because you knew I'd get in trouble because climbing the tree was my idea."
"You remember that?" Bonnie asked at the same time that Caroline laughed, "Oh my God! He's right you do, do that. Like all the time. Bonnie fine. I'm going to use that. Ow!" Bonnie reached over and pinched Caroline's arm again.
Bonnie turned back to Tyler. "I'm fine, fine," she muttered.
"You need me to help you get the car off the curb?" he asked.
Bonnie's frown deepened as he stared at her patiently with his stupid brown eyes with the golden flecks and his stupid chiseled jaw. "I told you," she repeated. "I'm fine."
Tyler looked taken aback by the ice in her tone and he shook his head. "Fine," he said standing upright, "enjoy the rest of your day. I'll be over here being on the lookout for the next wayward human hunting Prius."
Bonnie rolled the window back up and sat back in her seat. "Why are you always so mean to him?" Caroline said as they watched him walk away.
Bonnie didn't mean to be. She just naturally tensed up around him. Being around Tyler gave her whiplash. When they were little he was sweet and funny. He came over to help Bonnie's Grams in her garden and brought stray dogs home to nurse back to health whenever they found one wandering around their neighborhood even though the other kids had teased him and called him wolf boy for the better part of elementary when he did.
There was a reason why he had been Bonnie's first crush. They had all hung out before. He'd always been Matt's best friend and they'd all been a group. Him, her, Caroline, Matt and Elena. Back then things had been simpler; before high school, before popularity, before Tyler's father became the mayor and Tyler turned into a cocky entitled asshole that was angry more often than not.
Back then Tyler had been Bonnie's favorite person outside of Caroline and Elena. He had also been the one to throw their first boy girl party. Back then Tyler had had a crush on Matt's older sister Vicki and he'd talked everyone into a game of spin the bottle in hopes of kissing her. The bottle had landed on Bonnie instead. Bonnie had tried to give him an out but Tyler had grinned his stupid grin at her and said, "We can't cheat the bottle."
After that he'd leaned forward and kissed her. It was quick, just a peck on the lips but then he'd said, "Your hair smells like coconut. I like it," and Bonnie had been a goner.
She had been feeling self-conscious because her grandmother had insisted on making their soap and their shampoo and all of their other hair care and hygiene products. Her products were actually really amazing and smelled really good and worked better than most store name brand products. However, kids would be kids. Back then, the same kids that complemented the scents Bonnie wore or how healthy and shiny her hair looked now that they were in high school, had teased her. So Tyler complementing her had made her feel things Bonnie had never felt before.
Tyler's letter had been the first and the longest. Bonnie had forgotten all that she had written and would likely be embarrassed by it if she were ever to read it again but she remembered the feelings. She remembered the heady dizzy exciting nervous energy of her first crush. If not for having the outlet of the letter the feelings might have overwhelmed her.
However, nothing had come of it and year's later Tyler was in this on and off again thing with Vicki Donovan. They were usually only on again when she was sober and even when they were on, they kind of made each other bigger assholes than they were when they were off again and it was like this toxic cycle that Bonnie chose not to comment on for Matt's sake.
Caroline said that Tyler mostly dated Vicki to piss off his parents and because he didn't think he could ever have who he really liked, but considering he'd liked Vicki since they were kids, Bonnie doubted that very much. Besides Bonnie never cared enough to ask after Tyler's comings and goings, that ship had sailed in middle school. Though, Bonnie found out from Caroline as she straightened her car out that Tyler and Vicki were in one of their off periods due to Vicki's recreational drug use. Vicki was going into her senior year but Bonnie doubted that she would actually graduate. She often skipped town on and off and Bonnie couldn't remember the last time she'd come to school sober.
"He says he's done this time," Caroline said, "Matt is too. They're tired of taking care of her I guess. I told them both you can't really help someone who doesn't want to be helped."
Bonnie refrained from commenting as they got out of the car and headed into Mystic Grill. They had preordered all of Elena's favorites. Matt had it packed up and ready when they walked in. Bonnie was surprised as even though he worked there he normally wasn't that efficient.
"How'd you know we were here?" Bonnie asked.
Matt grinned in Caroline's direction before turning back to Bonnie. "Tyler came in right before you guys. Said he'd pissed you off and so he paid for the food. I told him he could come over to say goodbye to Elena but he said he didn't want to crash without a real invite."
"That was sweet of him right, Bonnie," Caroline smiled as she reached for Matt's hand over the counter.
Bonnie knew they expected her to give him an invite as it was at her house but she kept her mouth shut. The only one he still hung out with was Matt so she saw no point in changing that on Elena's last night. "That was nice of him I guess," she said, "Especially since I almost hit him with my car."
Matt laughed. "You what?"
Bonnie was about to respond when she looked on the receipt stapled to the back. Underneath Tyler's signature there was a detailed drawing of a crow with a speech bubble that read, "Caw, caw, motherfuckers!"
"Idiot," Bonnie muttered. Bonnie bit back a laugh before she showed the receipt to Caroline. "Yeah," she said, sarcastically, "Tyler's a real sweetheart."
:::
That night Bonnie should have known that something was off when they all sat down to watch the movie and instead of Elena sitting in the middle of Stefan and Bonnie the way that she normally did, Bonnie ended up in the middle of the two on the couch, which was just weird.
Bonnie had looked to Caroline for answers but the blond had just shrugged from where she sat in Matt's lap in the chair on the other side of the couch. Bonnie had shrugged it off as well when the movie started. They were watching A Streetcar Named Desire, Elena's favorite movie. Bonnie didn't really care for it all that much and neither did the others. In all honesty she pretty much zoned out until they came to the part where Marlon Brando screamed "Stella!" up to the balcony so she could scream along with him and laugh afterwards. Actually that was what pretty much what everyone besides Elena did.
Bonnie felt even more like a third wheel than usual as the movie progressed, Stefan kept looking over her to try and make eye contact with Elena and her friend resolutely stared straight ahead. Stefan ended up looking confused and frowning leading to Bonnie throwing popcorn at his head in an effort to make him smile which had worked. She'd even gotten a laugh as he picked popcorn out of his hair until Elena shushed them and then things had gotten awkward again.
By the time they reached the, "Stella!" scene and everyone screamed along with Brando except for Elena, who instead of giving her normal indulgent smile at their antics, rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, Bonnie knew that something was definitely wrong.
When the movie ended Matt decided to cut out early and Elena asked to talk to Stefan on the porch. Stefan agreed after hugging both Bonnie and Caroline goodnight, and kissing Bonnie on the cheek.
Bonnie watched as Elena walked them out and she and Caroline crept to the door to peek out of the curtain window at the exchange. Bonnie saw the look of confusion and devastation on Stefan's face as Elena spoke and she immediately wanted to comfort him even knowing it wasn't her place to do so. When he reached out to Elena she stepped back and Bonnie frowned.
"Something is definitely off," Caroline declared.
Bonnie nodded. "Maybe Tyler was right and the crow was a bad omen," she responded. Caroline gave her a look and Bonnie glared back. "What? You remember that time we saw a black cat crossing the road and then five minutes later Tanner got into that car accident. Omens are real Caroline."
Caroline rolled her eyes. "Yeah and so is the whiskey in Ms. Sheila's liquor cabinet."
Bonnie crossed her arms over her chest. "They're more real than your highlights," she said.
"Hey!" Caroline's mouth dropped open before the two started laughing. The laughter died as Elena walked back into the house looking solemn.
They followed her into the living room and sat down next to her on the couch on either side. Bonnie frowned when Elena's spoke. "I did it," she said, "I broke up with Stefan."
"What?" Bonnie exclaimed and she looked to Caroline to commiserate her shock, but Caroline looked pleased. Bonnie ignored her in favor of Elena, "But its Stefan and you love him. He's sweet and caring and sensitive and he has that romance novel stare."
Elena looked even more miserable. "I know that Bonnie," she said, "I'll always love him. But the long distance thing never works and I just don't want to hold him back. I want him to be able to move forward. What's the point of me getting out and meeting new people and doing new things if I'm worried about everyone here standing still and waiting for me? I'm going to grow and change in England. I want that for Stefan too."
Caroline looked approvingly at Elena for the first time in what seemed like forever. "I agree with her," she said, "Stefan doesn't need to be here pining away for her any more than you need to be stopping your life and waiting for her to get back. She's going to live her life so you guys need to live yours."
"Exactly," Elena nodded, "now let's not talk about this anymore. It's supposed to be our last slumber party until I come home for Christmas. We're supposed to be having fun."
After that they ate way too much and painted each other's nails and watched Breakfast at Tiffany's and played Truth or Dare. They talked about their plans for the year, though mostly Caroline and Elena talked and Bonnie listened. Like always Elena fell asleep first and Caroline soon followed.
When both Caroline and Elena were asleep, Bonnie went up to her room and took out her hatbox and pulled out Stefan's letter. When Bonnie had wrote the letter it had been right after Stefan had told her that he was planning on asking Elena out. She hadn't been all that surprised when it had happened. In all honestly by then they had been spending so much time together she had seen it coming.
However, that didn't stop Bonnie from thinking about what might have happened if she'd realized her own feelings sooner. If Stefan had chosen her instead. That was what the letter was, a long and fantastical "what if".
It wasn't that now that Elena had broken up with Stefan, Bonnie saw it as some kind of opening. In fact it was the opposite. She knew how much they loved one another and Bonnie knew how heartbroken Elena was even if she tried to hide it. The problem was that something familiar was beginning to stir inside Bonnie and she knew she had to let it out before it became too big. With Elena being gone soon it was only a matter of time before things started to get out of hand if she let them and so she wrote her feelings down instead, in a postscript beneath the letter she had written so long ago.
P.S.
I still love you. That's not really your problem, its mine. I saw your heart break tonight. I wanted to be the one to mend it. I thought I was over it, all of it. The sad thing of it all is even if I want to be the one that is there for you and makes you smile again and laugh again and happy again, I know I can't be. The only one that can mend your heart is the one that broke it. You love Elena, it's always been Elena and it always will be. So I'll be your friend and one day it won't hurt as much when you think about her and one day it won't hurt as much when I think about you.
"What are you doing?" Bonnie jumped at the sound of Caroline's voice. She had left her downstairs with Elena, sleeping in the pillow fort they had made out of the couch cushions for old time's sake.
Bonnie looked at Caroline over her shoulder as she quickly blew on the ink to dry it and folded the letter back up. "Nothing," she said as she placed the letter in the envelope and sealed it, "What are you doing up?"
Caroline's eyes narrowed as Bonnie stood and replaced the letter into the hatbox. "Your dad woke me up coming home," she said.
"He's back," Bonnie said surprised, normally when he got in from a pharmaceutical convention that late he just stayed another day, "I should go say hi."
Caroline nodded as Bonnie walked over to her. She thought about placing the hatbox back into her closet but that would only draw attention to it and cause Caroline to ask more questions and so she left it where it was on her desk and shut her bedroom door behind her.
:::
The next morning Bonnie was as usual the first to get up and get ready, even though Elena was the one who had to be at the airport. Bonnie received a text from Stefan and while Elena and Caroline got ready she went out front to meet him on her porch.
Stefan was sitting on the steps looking out into the neighborhood with his customary brooding expression that made Bonnie think of Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. "It's too early to be making that face." She said as she came over to sit next to him.
Stefan shrugged. "You know me," he said, "it's never too early to brood."
Bonnie looked at him a moment before reaching out and taking his hand. "You can brood today," she whispered, "I won't tease you."
Stefan turned to her and frowned. "She tell you what she was planning before last night?" Stefan asked. "She tells you everything I know."
Bonnie shook her head. "She didn't tell me this."
Stefan nodded. "I'm angry and sad but I get it you know," he sighed, "I understand why she did it. Listen you and me, we're still friends right? I know she's known you longer so she should technically win you in the custody battle but I can't lose you too."
Bonnie nudged him playfully. "You're stuck with me," she said, and then, "But you know that already."
"Good old Bonbon," Stefan said doing his best impersonation of his brother, Damon, whom Bonnie could take or leave on a good day and annoyed the hell out of him on a bad day, "Always so loyal."
Bonnie rolled her eyes. "Why are you really here this early? I know it's not to do your best crazy eyed Damon impression."
Stefan sighed. "You know me too well," he said pulling a small box of earplugs and a pack of gum from his pocket. "For the plane," he explained, "For Elena. Her ears always pop, like the time we went to Italy with my family for New Year's. I knew Elena would forget and considering we're broken up I thought they'd be better coming from you."
Bonnie took the objects from his hand. Always so sweet, until the very end. She sighed. "I'm pretty sure they have these things at the airport gift shop but I'll make sure she gets them."
"Thanks Bon," Stefan said, standing, "You really are the best."
Stefan leaned down and kissed her on the cheek and Bonnie tried to ignore the stuttering of her heart as he pulled away. Stefan looked back towards the house and Bonnie knew he was trying to get one last glimpse of Elena before she left. When one didn't come, he left the way he came and Bonnie stayed out on the porch until Elena came out and joined her. She gave her the gum and earplugs. When she told her who they were from Bonnie expected a reaction. A smile. Tears maybe. There was none.
Caroline was the last one up and ready. She came out looking too chipper for someone about to see their friend off but Bonnie didn't comment. They drove to the airport, Elena's aunt Jenna and her brother Jeremy meeting them there.
Elena was only going to be gone for the school year but to Bonnie it would seem like forever. Still Elena didn't cry when she said goodbye. She didn't look back when she boarded the plane. Bonnie wasn't upset by any of it, she hadn't really expected Elena to look back. Elena had always been good at holding things in, but no one was better at that than Bonnie.
:::
The first day of school without Elena passed as it normally would have. Life moved on and Bonnie shouldn't have been surprised by that but she honestly was. Things had gone on like normal. Bonnie had shown up to school in her brown combat boots, jean shorts and bohemian floral print top and as usual Vicki called her a hippy as she walked past her in the parking lot but this time instead of going towards Tyler in the quad the girl headed straight for the stoner pit much to Bonnie's surprise. I guess they really are over, she thought.
Per usual Caroline was already planning the first party of the school year, for which Bonnie would likely think of an excuse not to attend also per usual. Caroline complimented her outfit. Aimee Bradley asked to borrow her boots later in the week. Bonnie had agreed in spite of Caroline's whispered, "As if anyone else could pull them off," as Aimee walked away and everyone was acting like business as usual. Bonnie had somehow thought that without Elena at the school for everyone to revolve around that the place would just stop. It hadn't, it kept going and Bonnie realized fairly quickly she would have to keep going too.
By lunch Bonnie wasn't sure what to do as she normally ate with Elena and Stefan but it felt weird eating with Stefan alone, especially given the fact that she apparently still had feelings for him.
Bonnie instead opted to eat in the library and had started to reread Wuthering Heights. The rest of the day passed without much incident and though Bonnie had felt slightly more isolated, she'd made it through the day and that was the most important thing.
When she had told her Grams as much when she came back to her house after school, Sheila Bennett looked less than impressed. Sheila had since Bonnie was young gone from teaching full time to part time and expanded her body and hygiene product creations and a lot of the town's people, including the kids that had teased Bonnie, now bought products from her. Bonnie often stayed over to assist and was close to convincing her Grams to open up a botanical shop so that she could live out one of her movie dreams and pretend to be Sally Owens from Practical Magic, even if they weren't witches.
"Of course you made it through school," Sheila said, "Your world doesn't revolve around Elena no matter how much she tried to make you think it did and your world shouldn't stop just because someone leaves no matter who they are."
Bonnie had sighed and measured out the right amount of ground lavender for the moisturizer that she was making to help with Sheriff Forbes' eczema that she'd promised Caroline the day before when she had been informed that Liz had run out. "I know that, Grams," she answered, "But you don't know what it's like to be friends with someone like Elena. Everyone just gravitated towards her and it was always easier when she was around because less people paid attention to me. I got to be the invisible best friend, I'm just so used to her being around that it feels weird now that she's not. Plus I just miss her."
"I'm not saying you can't miss her, Bonnie," Sheila said as she bottled up her now sought after apricot scrub, "I just don't want you to be moping around the halls like someone died. She just left for the school year and she'll be back in a couple of months for Christmas. As for the rest of it. Your days of hiding behind Elena are over. That was all fine and good when you were little and kids were still cruel and ignorant and teased you about the things that made you different. Now all of those things are things that people love about you. Things that make you shine and you don't really even realize it. It's time you stop hiding. If you're brave you may even make some new friends, experience some new things. If you keep hiding though, I guarantee that you'll alienate the friends you have left."
Bonnie knew her Grams had a point. She thought about Elena's declaration that she would be living and growing in England. Bonnie knew for a fact that Elena wasn't hiding in the library at lunch or waiting around for Christmas break so that she could hang out with her to socially interact with other people.
So the next day Bonnie put on a boho sweater dress with bell sleeves and lace above the knee and a pair of suede knee high boots and tied her hair in a messy bun with her favorite flower hair tie and went to school determined to stop avoiding her friends. She flipped Vicki Donovan off when the girl asked her if she'd gotten her hair tie at the Tree Huggers Co-op as she walked in.
She let Aimee borrow her boots from the day before and found out that sadly Caroline was right. The boots looked washed out and clashed with Aimee's outfit. "See," Caroline said, "Your style can be imitated but never duplicated. You're in a class all your own Bonnie. Own it."
Bonnie walked the halls with Caroline instead of by herself. She gave Caroline the lavender moisturizer and charged Tiki for the apricot scrub that helped with her acne scars because Bonnie didn't like Tiki and even though Tiki was nice to her because she asked Bonnie for products all the time she was still as nasty as she had been in grade school towards everyone else.
Bonnie still finished rereading Wuthering Heights during free period because she needed her Heathcliff fix and to escape for just awhile on the moors. At lunch Bonnie bit the bullet and ate with Stefan. Surprisingly things were as natural between them as ever as they played "Two Truths and a Lie" while Bonnie drank herbal tea and ate the spanakopita triangles that Stefan's mother, Lily, had made for her especially and Stefan drank Mountain Dew and finished off the ginger snaps Bonnie's Grams had baked and sent to school for him.
"Okay," Stefan said as he brushed the crumbs off his hands, "Damon is attempting to join the town council to impress my father, Lexi eloped over the summer, and I missed you yesterday. Which one's the lie?"
Bonnie looked thoughtful as she considered him. "Obviously Lexi eloping," she said, "There's no way she wouldn't invite me to the wedding."
Stefan laughed. "So sure of yourself," he said, "Look whose cocky all of a sudden. But you're right of course Lexi would invite you to the wedding if she ever settled down which as wild as she is, is unlikely anytime soon, and I'd be her best person. Also of course I missed you yesterday. I kind of thought you were avoiding me."
Bonnie frowned. "I might have been," she said, "but to be fair I was kind of avoiding everyone. It's just weird without Elena you know?"
Bonnie regretted the words as Stefan's brooding expression returned. The break up was still fresh but he was handling it better than she thought he would. "Yeah I know."
Bonnie cleared her throat. "So Damon's trying to join the town council to impress your dad," she said, changing the subject, "If he wants to impress him so much why not try getting an actual job first."
Stefan grinned. "You literally say what I'm thinking. Always. This is why I keep you around," he laughed.
"Not because of my good looks and charm," she smiled, "Or my Gram's constant supply of gingersnaps."
"The gingersnaps, yes," he said, "The good looks are debatable." He laughed again as Bonnie punched him in the arm and Bonnie couldn't help but think how normal it all felt even without her best friend in the middle.
Bonnie went to cheerleading practice and this time when they asked her to hang out at Mystic Grill afterwards Bonnie actually went.
When they ran into Sheriff Forbes looking for volunteers Bonnie made it a point to help Caroline pass out flyers for the upcoming Night of Illumination.
"So I saw you and Stefan at lunch," Caroline said as they walked, "He looks awful happy for someone who just got dumped."
"Like you said," Bonnie shrugged, "he can't spend the whole school year pining. It's not like he's not sad about it, just trying to keep going just like the rest of us."
"It's good that he has you to be there for him though, right?" Caroline's tone was leading and Bonnie frowned.
"Don't give me that look," Bonnie sighed, "Stefan and I are just friends. You're the only one without enough tact to abide by the girl code and not date your friend's ex-boyfriend."
Caroline looked proud and not at all ashamed. "Matt and I couldn't be happier," she said, "Besides there's no girl code for frenemies."
Bonnie rolled her eyes. "Well there is for best friends," she said, "I'd never do that to Elena. We all know she still loves him and they'll probably get back together over Winter Break. Even without those factors, Stefan and I are just friends."
Caroline gave her a measured look. "Right," she said, "Well you make him smile Bonnie. You've always made him smile. Either way that's a good thing."
By the end of the day Bonnie felt less isolated than the day before and it was in that way that Bonnie developed a routine.
As the days passed Bonnie felt like she could make it through the school year without her best friend. Until the day that Bonnie found out that the crow wasn't the only bad omen she had to deal with.
:::
The day of Bonnie's own personal apocalypse she had woken up to the sound of a deathwatch beetle. The same kind of deathwatch beetle that tormented the Owens women in the movie Practical Magic as a sign that the men that they loved would die. Bonnie had been staying with her Grams and hadn't been over to the home she shared with her father since the day that Elena had left for England.
She'd tried to get ready for school without letting her nerves get the better of her but the incessant clicking of the beetle put her on edge and so she had been determined to look for it. She eventually found it on her window sill and she released it soon after but as she made her way downstairs she realized her search for the tiny little harbinger of doom had made her late for school.
She was so late she missed breakfast with her Grams beforehand. So late that Vicki Donovan wasn't there to insult her choice of wardrobe (a white lace crocheted top with a smocked waist, a pair of black skinny jeans, and black ankle boots with gold floral embroidery) on her way to the stoner pit. She was in fact so late that she didn't have time to stop at her locker before class and ended up ill prepared for her Trig test which was open note and open book.
Suffice to say by the time Bonnie got to her locker right before free period she was rattled and annoyed. That was when Tyler Lockwood came up to her as the halls were emptying and Bonnie was stuffing her books for her next few classes into her brown messenger bag.
Tyler was shuffling his feet and he looked nervous which was just off. He had taken to walking around school with this sort of cocky confident swagger since freshman year. It always made Bonnie want to trip him in the hall just to see what he'd do to recover from it and maybe wipe the constant smug look off his face.
"Can I talk to you for a second?" Tyler asked glancing up and down the hallway.
Bonnie blinked as she shut her locker. Tyler never talked to her at school. Tyler never talked to her period. Not anymore. Maybe in passing but him approaching her otherwise was unheard of. Unless of course she almost ran him over. Bonnie twisted a curl that had fallen from her messy bun around her finger in a nervous gesture and hefted her bag onto her shoulder. Tyler stared at her expectantly. "Yeah I guess," she said.
Tyler let out a breath and Bonnie hated how good he always looked in his stupid red and black letterman jacket that literally brought all of her eighties heartthrob fantasies to mind, with his stupid broad shoulders and nervous smile that made him look more innocent than he actually was.
"Listen," he said, "I'm really flattered but I mean I kind of wish this whole thing had different timing."
"Huh?" Bonnie frowned, not following at all what Tyler was saying.
The next moment seemed to happen in slow motion. Bonnie watched as Tyler reached into the pocket of his stupid letterman jacket because he was a varsity athlete in like three different sports and pulled out a familiar red envelope decorated with hearts and flowers that had his name and address on the front in elegant script because Bonnie had even practiced calligraphy for those damn love letters that were supposed to be for her eyes only. But there she was, staring in wide eyed horror as Tyler took out the letter and waved in front of her face.
"It was a really sweet letter," he was saying, "I can't say that I've been called beautiful before but I think it's cool that you think I have gold specks in my eyes and everything. I definitely wasn't trying to steal your first kiss. It was my first kiss too if that helps anything. It's just that I just got out of this thing with Vicki…."
He kept talking but Bonnie wasn't hearing anything that he was saying. She felt sick and dizzy. The letter, she thought, how the hell had he gotten the letter?
"Bennett are you okay?" Tyler's voice sounded far away and she barely heard him when he said, "Oh shit I forgot about the nose bleed thing."
Bonnie felt like she would die of embarrassment because she had gotten over her anxiety induced nosebleeds freshman year or so she thought. Now she was looking like some bloody pining stalker in front of the first boy she had ever kissed because of a letter he was never supposed to see anyway.
When the darkness came and Bonnie fainted, she welcomed the escape. When Bonnie next came to it was to Tyler Lockwood carrying her bridal style through the hallway, her messenger bag over one shoulder and his book bag over the other. How was he even that strong, Bonnie thought. Bonnie was reminded of the closing scene of An Officer and a Gentleman where Zack showed up in full uniform and gave Paula one of the best kisses in cinematic history second only to the Keith and Watts kissing lesson scene in John Hughes's Some Kind of Wonderful, and then Zack whisked Paula away from the factory she worked carrying her bridal style to one of the most campy love songs ever, Joe Cocker's "Up Where We Belong". Bonnie mumbled something about Tyler having stupid broad shoulders and being no Zack Mayo before she was out again.
The next time Bonnie woke she was in one of the beds in the nurse's office and Tyler was sitting on the edge of the bed next to her. Bonnie frowned as she looked around and noted the bloody tissues in the trash can.
"Don't worry we got you cleaned up before any of it got on your blouse," Tyler said, "It's a nice blouse by the way and I like your boots too. They're kind of hot actually." Bonnie looked down to see that her blouse was still in fact as white as it was before she had embarrassed herself.
Bonnie blinked. Tyler had just complemented her. "Am I in the Twilight Zone," Bonnie asked, and then, "Or hell maybe?"
Tyler laughed, giving her that same amused and exasperated look he often did on the rare occasions they spoke and shook his head. "Are you okay?" he asked.
"I'm fine," Bonnie answered automatically. Tyler gave her a look and she held up a hand. "If you say 'fine, fine' or 'Bonnie fine' I'll be forced to kill you."
"And miss out on this beautiful face?" Tyler shot back. Bonnie scowled and again he smiled. "I'm sorry. Look, I forgot about your nose bleeding when you get really nervous like the time you had to give that presentation in English and you passed out midsentence while talking about the hidden complexities of Jane Eyre our freshman year. I wouldn't have come up to you that way if I had known I'd get a repeat performance."
Bonnie felt the urge to disappear. "Why do you remember everything that has ever embarrassed me?"
"You're cute in like that quirky kind of way so stuff like that is hard to forget," Tyler replied.
"Did you just call me quirky?" Bonnie frowned. Quirky was what the parents at school had called her Grams as a veiled insult when she showed up a PTA meetings with crystals to bring in positive energy when Bonnie was a child. It wasn't something that she wanted to hear from a boy she had once had a crush on that had basically read the contents of her soul in letter form.
Tyler shrugged. "I meant it as a complement," he said and then, "I texted Caroline and told her you were here so Mr. Saltzman wouldn't give you crap in case we're late for History next period."
"You told her what happened?" Bonnie asked, panicked, "About the letter?"
Tyler shook his head quickly "No," he said, "I told her you were a little dehydrated and you got dizzy so I brought you to the nurse."
"Good," Bonnie nodded, "Thank you."
"You're welcome," Tyler said and smiled as if he had been waiting his whole life for Bonnie to be civil to him again. "Do you need anything? Water or anything?"
"I need my letter back," Bonnie said quickly, "You weren't ever supposed to see it and I need it back."
Tyler crossed his arms over his chest and his resident smug expression returned. "But it's mine," he said, "You wrote it for me right? Maybe I want to keep it." Bonnie glared before launching herself at him and tackling him to the bed. "What the hell?" he exclaimed as Bonnie began to dig through his jack pockets until she found it.
Bonnie gripped the letter with a grim look of satisfaction as she waved it in front of his face. "Ha!" She shouted and then realized that she was straddling his hips as Tyler looked up at her unbothered.
Bonnie moved to scramble away from him but froze when she heard voices. She recognized one immediately as Stefan and was relieved that there was a curtain separating them from the outside nurse's office.
"Caroline Forbes sent me here to check on Bonnie Bennett," Bonnie heard Stefan say to Nurse Fell.
Bonnie got up and peaked around the side of the curtain. She saw Stefan there looking handsome and gallant as ever coming to check in on her. She smiled until she realized what was in his hand. Another envelope with familiar writing. Bonnie felt sick again.
"No, no, no, no," she muttered to herself, "Shit, shit, shit." This couldn't be happening. How was this happening? The crow had started it but the deathwatch beetle had definitely been a warning of impending doom.
It was one thing for Tyler to get his letter. But Stefan?! Stefan whom she still had feelings for. Stefan who was still Elena's even though he wasn't anymore. Stefan who she had just wrote a postscript to about how she had been pining away for him since sophomore year. Stefan who she could lose as well as Elena if any of this got out.
Bonnie began to pace and tried to think. She had to fix it or stop it or avoid it. She had to do something. "What is it?" Tyler asked looking concerned. Bonnie had forgotten that he was there. However, as she looked at him an idea began to form in her head. Bonnie heard footsteps coming closer and she knew that she had a limited window. Bonnie ran back over to the recovery bed and tackled Tyler onto it once more. "Bennett are you insane?"
In answer Bonnie kissed him. She kissed hard on the lips and it wasn't some gentle peck like their first kiss. Bonnie kissed him until she heard the footsteps grow closer. Kissed him until Tyler's mouth opened up beneath hers. Kissed him until Tyler's hands gripped her hips. Kissed him until she heard a gasp and then footsteps rapidly recede. Kissed him until she heard Nurse Fell say,"Mr. Salvatore is everything alright?" and she heard Stefan reply, "Fine. I just need to get to class before I'm late. I'll come by later."
When Bonnie pulled away Tyler looked at her with some mixture of awe and confusion. Bonnie wanted to say that she felt nothing but she couldn't. She felt the stirrings of the same dizzy excitement she had the first time they kissed and now Tyler had the honor of being not just her first kiss but her first real kiss and this day had gone from messy to chaotic in a matter of minutes.
"Thank you," Bonnie said not knowing what else to say.
Tyler blinked. "Um…you're welcome?" Bonnie knew that he was going to ask more questions or maybe attempt to reject her again which was honestly unnecessary and not anything that she wanted to go through so Bonnie grabbed the letter and her messenger bag and bottled.
Bonnie ended up in the girl's bathroom, hiding out in the stall. She was there less than two minutes when she heard another voice that she hadn't heard in a while and didn't want to hear in that moment, Luka Martin.
"Bonnie?" he said, "Are you in there?" Bonnie wasn't going to answer. She was going to stay quiet but then he said. "I wasn't going to come in but you looked upset and I wanted to check on you. Come on, Bonnie, no one but you could rock those boots."
Bonnie let herself smile a moment before she came out of the stall. Luka smiled at her the same smile he had the night of freshman homecoming when he had asked her to dance and they had been the best dancers in the whole school gym and Bonnie for once hadn't felt invisible.
Luka held out the letter she had written to him, to her. A letter that Bonnie wasn't all that surprised to see considering. "I thought you might want this back," he said, "It's pretty personal and I'm not sure I was supposed to ever read it."
Bonnie smiled wider as she took the letter. Luka was as usual ever perceptive. "You weren't," she said, "I'm sorry. It was never supposed to get out. I don't know how all of this happened?"
"Don't worry about it," he said, "In the letter you were talking about freshman homecoming right?" Bonnie nodded and he laughed. "I had fun that night. You've got some nice moves Bennett, you should show them off more."
"Thanks," Bonnie said, feeling less uneasy about the present confrontation at least. "I had fun that night too."
Luka hesitated and then. "I feel like I should tell you though," he said, "You know I'm gay right."
Bonnie bit her bottom lip. "Yeah, of course," she said. She hadn't. However, she was honestly relieved by it. "I mean I wrote that a long time ago and the feelings that brought it out have definitely passed."
"Cool," Luka nodded, "We should definitely hang out though. I mean I'm out to my family and a couple of my friends but not that many people know because well…."
"High school," they said at the same time. She had been on the other end of bullying for a different reason so she understood.
"It'd be cool to have friend and someone that understood though." Luka said.
Bonnie was grateful that at least Luka's letter being released hadn't added to the maelstrom that her day had become. Bonnie and Luka exchanged numbers and then Bonnie decided that she couldn't hide in the bathroom forever and finally left to go to History class. The class that she unfortunately shared with both Tyler and Stefan.
Since Bonnie had spent her free period divided between the nurses office and hiding in the bathroom she hadn't gotten her daily fix of classic romantic literature which soured her mood even more.
Normally Bonnie sat in the desk midway in the classroom, next to Elena and Stefan sat on Elena's other side. Tyler usually sat in the back and ignored the lesson in favor of doodling in his notebook. However, Elena wasn't there any longer and her seat had begun to remain empty as the days passed. But when Bonnie walked into Mr. Saltzman's class Tyler had moved from the back seat, into Elena's seat.
Bonnie's eyes widened but she said nothing as she moved into her customary seat next to his and noted that Stefan was still sitting in his customary seat on the other side of where Tyler had stolen Elena's. Bonnie glanced at him as he leaned over Tyler to mouth, "Are you okay?"
Bonnie nodded. She frowned. She was sure that he had witnessed the kiss but he was still more concerned about her well-being than anything else.
As Alaric began his lecture on Pearl Harbor, Tyler kicked Bonnie's desk. Bonnie turned to him and glared. She was about to turn away when he held up his notebook and she saw a message scrawled on the page. "You going to give me some answers Bennett?" The note read.
Bonnie looked down at her own notebook and then wrote a note back. "About?" She wrote, deciding to play dumb, before leaning it up slightly for him to see.
Tyler rolled his eyes and looked unimpressed. "The letter. The kiss." He wrote back.
Bonnie sighed. "Later." She wrote back. Alaric turned to face them and Bonnie feigned attention before he turned back to the blackboard.
When she glanced back to Tyler, he had written. "That's all I get?"
Bonnie rolled her eyes this time and then wrote. "It's the omens Lockwood. You were right I should have thrown the salt."
Tyler grinned. "Don't fear the omens, Bennett, be the omen." Considering her day was still a chaotic mess and Tyler was still kind of an asshole she supposed it could have been worse than him writing notes to her and he had as of yet kept the kiss and the letter to himself. He was actually being very human about the whole thing. Bonnie was impressed.
Bonnie wasn't sure how to even respond to the message however, and so she simply wrote back. "Caw, caw motherfucker!"
Instead of responding on paper, Tyler laughed out loud and drew Alaric's attention. Mr. Saltzman turned around and raised an eyebrow. "Mr. Lockwood," he said, "Ms. Bennett, are we interrupting you?"
Bonnie shook her head quickly and looked down. She glanced over at Stefan and noticed he was scowling and then glanced over at Matt who normally sat in back with Tyler and noted his eyebrow was raised and his phone was out which meant that he was likely texting Caroline. Bonnie turned back to the blackboard and sighed. She was definitely going to go back to her isolation strategy for the rest of the day.
:::
For majority of the rest of the day Bonnie did just that and avoided everyone. She ate lunch in the library again and went through the motions of her last few classes with the end game of going home in mind. However, she knew there was still cheer practice and she knew that Caroline would have even more questions if she skipped.
On the bright side Caroline didn't know about the letters or anyone else outside of their recipients it seemed. All Caroline knew was that Bonnie had gotten dizzy and fainted and Tyler had helped her out which would explain them writing notes to each other in History if Matt told her that. The only thing she couldn't explain was the kiss but Caroline would never find out unless Stefan told her.
Bonnie decided the best course of action would be to act as normal as possible. So she changed into her gym shorts and a tank top for cheerleading practice and went to the football field even though she knew she would have to see both Tyler and Stefan there as the football team shared the field for practice.
Bonnie wasn't surprised to see a few people including the burnouts led by Vicki Donovan in the bleachers hanging out as she passed the football team on her way to where the cheerleaders were practicing by the track. She didn't see Tyler yet but only had a moment to be grateful before Stefan walked up to her in a wife beater and sweats stopping in his stretching in preparation for running laps and Bonnie was slightly distracted by his arms as he spoke. "Can I talk to you after practice?" he asked.
Bonnie's mouth went dry as panic began to set in. "About what?"
Bonnie watched in dismay as Stefan pulled the letter out of his pants pocket. Why was he carrying it around with him? "This for starters," he said, before putting it back into his pocket quickly and looking around as if to make sure no one had seen.
Bonnie wanted to scream but decided to attempt to play it cool and avoid another nosebleed. "Don't worry about the letter," she said, "I wrote it a long time ago. It doesn't mean anything."
Stefan frowned looking skeptical. "But it mentions the breakup and that just happened," he said.
Bonnie's first urge was to bolt. She had been found out. He was going to let her down easy and tell her they couldn't even be friends anymore. He was going to tell Elena. Elena would hate her and never come back from England and go backpacking through Europe and elope with a stranger but never get over the friend that betrayed her and the man that broke her heart. Alright, maybe Bonnie was exaggerating but it wasn't too far off. She had to stop it.
"Really, Stefan," she said, "I had a little crush. Not a big deal. I just had some feelings to get out and I'm totally over it now. You know me. I get dramatic sometimes. Besides I'm kind of dating someone else now anyway."
Stefan stared. "You're what?" he frowned and then looked like he was realizing something. "Lockwood? Is that what that whole kiss was about in the nurse's office? When did that even start? You guys hardly even talk to each other. Besides you tell me everything. If not me you would have told Caroline or Elena. Not that Elena's even talking to me."
Bonnie sighed. They were back to Elena again. Still Stefan had given her an out, one she had already started to put into motion and so she decided to take it. "Yup," she said, "Its Tyler. It's fairly recent but I really like him." Bonnie tried to sound convincing and Stefan still looked like he was about to argue when Tyler walked out onto the field in all of his broad shouldered, strong jaw, beautiful cocky swagger glory wearing a sleeveless shirt, a pair of sweat pants and a bandana on his head that Bonnie might have wanted to take and keep as a love token if she'd still had a crush on him, which she didn't. "There he is," she beamed, trying to look convincing, "I'm going to go say hi before practice because that's what you do with boys you like. See you later. No talking necessary. Bye."
Bonnie walked away before Stefan could respond and then began to run towards Tyler. She wasn't sure why she was running or what the hell she was doing really aside from trying to stop the doom the omens had predicted which honestly wasn't working out really well for her at all. She should have paid more attention when she had listened in on her Grams' lecture on how pagans used to ward off evil and negative energy. While they didn't believe in all of the occult theories they were spiritual and if Bonnie had been smart she would have grabbed one of her crystals before leaving the house, instead of chasing a deathwatch beetle that morning.
However, Bonnie wouldn't describe any of her behavior that entire day as smart which would explain why as she was running she yelled, "Hey, Lockwood!", loud enough to draw the attention of everyone in the near vicinity which turned out of to be a lot of people including her friends.
Bonnie later blamed it on the sheer number of romantic movies she had watched and the sheer volume of romantic novels she had read, both campy and classic. It happened kind of like a scene out of a movie or like a train wreck that she would regret later. Bonnie wasn't really sure which. But suddenly it felt like she was running towards Tyler in slow motion. If she had to pick song for that moment she would have gone with "If You Leave" by Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark (an unnecessarily long band name that wasn't as poetic sounding as they thought it would be from Bonnie's perspective) which played over the third best kiss in cinematic history between Andie and Blane at the end of Pretty in Pink.
However, Bonnie wasn't a lead so it made no sense that she would hear that song playing in her head in that moment, or any other song because this was Tyler Lockwood that Bonnie was launching herself at. Tyler Lockwood that caught her as if Bonnie jumping into is arms like some deranged maniac or like Allie did with Noah in the kiss scene from The Notebook, the fourth best kiss in cinematic history, was an everyday occurrence. It was Tyler Lockwood's neck that she wrapped her arms around and his waist that she hooked her legs around. It was Tyler Lockwood that looked at her like she was some kind of enigma as he smiled and murmured, "What the hell, Bennett?", as Bonnie leaned forward. It wasn't the boy that she actually liked, it was just Tyler Lockwood. But in that moment as Bonnie kissed him, she felt for the first time like a leading lady.
Before that day Bonnie had only ever had one kiss, her first kiss, with Tyler. Now she'd kissed the same boy twice in one day in front of the boy she was actually in love with, her best friend's ex-boyfriend and once in front of more people than Bonnie had actually realized until the catcalls rang out and Bonnie jumped down and attempted to act normal even though she felt like she might throw up.
"Have a good practice," Bonnie said calmly and then sauntered over to the rest of the cheerleading squad as if there wasn't a crowd watching including Stefan and Tyler's ex-whatever the hell Vicki had been. As if she kissed boys every day. As if she hadn't just confused the hell out of Tyler Lockwood even more. As if she were Tyler Lockwood himself, cocky, confident and completely full of herself. Bonnie was sure she was going crazy.
When she got to the other girl's, Caroline approached her first. "I don't know what the hell that was and you are definitely going to have to spill later but I have never been more proud of you than I am at this very moment."
After practice Bonnie ran. She knew the guys were in the showers and Caroline was momentarily distracted by some of the other girls. She saw her out and she took it. Bonnie took off like a bat out of hell, grabbing her bag and her clothes not bothering to change as she ran to her car, all of her nerves about driving taking a back seat to her instinct to flee as she sped out of the parking lot and to her father's house.
When she pulled into the driveway Bonnie cut the car off and ran inside. She ignored her dad's calls as she ran upstairs and to her room. She frowned as she saw that the hatbox she had left on her desk the night Elena had left was gone. Bonnie ran around the room tearing it apart and throwing objects here and there. She looked under her bed and her desk and in her closet. It was no use. It was gone.
Bonnie startled when her dad opened the door and stood in the doorway. Rudy looked at her worriedly. "Bonnie are you alright? Nurse Fell called and said something about you fainting at school."
"I'm fine," she said, mechanically.
"Fine, fine or Bonnie, fine?" her dad asked.
Bonnie froze shooting Rudy an accusatory look. "Have you been talking to Tyler Lockwood?" she asked.
Her father shook his head. "Caroline," he answered and then, "She mentioned the crow story the night of your sleepover. Should I ask why you're tearing up your room or…?"
"Have you seen my hatbox?" Bonnie asked, "The red vintage one with the gold clasp. The one mom left behind?"
Rudy shook his head. "No," he said, "Not that I can remember but since I've been home the last couple of days I've been doing some spring cleaning while you were at your Grams. I sent some stuff to Goodwill. It might have ended up in one of those boxes."
Bonnie's face crumbled. "Oh my God," she felt like she might cry, "The omens were right. I'm doomed."
"Is that some of that spiritualist stuff Sheila's always going on about," Rudy frowned, shaking his head, "Listen I'm sorry if it meant that much to you. I should have waited until you got home to let me know what you wanted to keep. I can take you to the antique store in town. I'm sure they'd have another hatbox you could keep stuff in."
Her father kept talking but Bonnie wasn't listening. Bonnie wasn't listening because the letters were out. Bonnie had kissed Tyler Lockwood. Bonnie had lied to Stefan. Bonnie's secrets had been found out. Bonnie had fallen victim to the Bennett curse even though she had never actually had a boyfriend and had done so much to guard herself against it. She hadn't listened to the omens. The letters were out and Bonnie was screwed.
End Notes: So there it is, the first part! Hope you all are enjoying it so far. So I will likely go back and edit this but please tell me what you think you guys! Reviews help more than you know! Until next time! Thanks for reading!