This is my first fic on Outnumbered. Actually, it's my first fic on anything that's not a cartoon/manga. So, this should be a surprise (for all of us).

Let's get this party started!

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The family returned home from the wedding, Karen, Ben and Jake all went to bed almost immediately afterwards, albeit with hardly any co-operation from the younger two.

"So," Pete started "how was the bride when we left?"

Sue sighed.

"That good?" Pete said.

"Yeah," Sue said "do you know what Angela said to Julie about our kids?"

"No," Pete admitted "and I probably don't want to."

"She actually said that Karen was spoilt and manipulative," Sue started.

"Well, she is very good at getting people to do what she wants," Pete admitted.

"Yes, well, so does Beyoncé, but she's one of the nicest celebrities around," Sue countered.

"Fair enough but their methods aren't exactly symmetrical," Pete argued.

"She said Ben was a trainee psychotic," Sue continued.

"Trainee? I would've thought he was the teacher." Pete said picking one of Ben's toy guns off the ground.

"True," Sue said pouring herself a glass of wine "if he wasn't the teacher I'm sure he would drive the actual teacher insane."

Pete nodded.

"And Jake?" Pete asked, already bringing up a few guesses.

"Um, she said, uh," Sue thought for a little bit, the wine lightly hazing her memory "oh! Apparently, Jake is gay."

Pete raised his head, trying to argue.

"Well," Pete said "I'm not sure how to argue that one, I'm sure he's not, but he doesn't really seem interested in girls."

"Oh he will, he's just not at that age where it's all 'girls, girls, girls'," Sue said.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Pete agreed.

"Is Jake gay," piped a small voice from in the shadows.

"Oh God!" Sue yelled surprised "Ben! You should be in bed."

"Can't sleep," Ben said "Is Jake gay?"

"Ah, well," Pete stalled. Ben waited for an answer "we don't actually know but he probably isn't."

"But Aunty Angela said he was," Ben argued "does that mean Aunty Angela's a liar?"

"No," Pete said "she's not a liar."

"So, Jake is gay," Ben said.

"Well, if you follow that logic…" Pete started.

"OK, good night!" Ben then ran out the room and up the stairs.

"Do you think we played that wrong?" Pete asked.

"We'll find out in the morning," Sue said, tired. She then went to bed. Pete soon followed, after checking on the three kids.

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At Ben's school-

"Now class," Ben's teacher announced "for your homework, I would like you all to write a page on a family member."

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Brockman household-

Karen and Ben ran through the door and Ben ran straight out into the garden to film one of his 'episodes'.

Tea Time-

"Ben, eat all of your broccoli please," Sue persisted, not successfully but hey she tries "just one more mouthful."

Ben quickly shoved another mouthful of broccoli into his mouth, swallowed and then left the table.

"Have you done your homework?" Sue asked.

"No!" Ben replied.

"Well, can you do that now please?" Sue said.

"Can I do it in my room?" Ben asked.

"Only if you promise to do it!" Sue said.

"OK!" Ben finished the conversation.

Ben didn't know who to write his essay about, his mind then drifted to last night's conversation. So, Ben wrote about his big brother's sexuality.

This is what he wrote, grammar, punctuation and spelling have been modified for reading pleasure:
(If you do not wish to read about homosexual behaviour, turn back now!)

My big brother is called Jake. He is eleven years old, so he's older than me by four years. Jake is gay. His boyfriends name is Warren, Jake's always texting Warren on his mobile phone and apparently Warren sends Jake lots and lots of sexual pictures.

Jake and Warren even had sex. I saw them. My Mum and Dad were out with friends, so Warren came to see Jake, I don't think my parents knew about him coming over. I tried to talk to him about my idea about stuff not being our fault but Jake pushed me out of the way and they went upstairs to his room. I went upstairs to go into my room, so I could get one of my dinosaurs, but I heard sounds coming from Jake's room, it sounded like moaning.

So, I opened Jake's door a little bit and looked around. I saw Warren and Jake naked, Warren was sitting on Jake's bed and Jake was kneeling in front of him and had his willy on his mouth and he was moving his head forwards and back. Then Warren said "I'm gonna cum!" over and over until he moaned really loudly and Jake swallowed something. Then Jake got off his knees and laid on his back on the bed, Warren grabbed Jake's feet and spread his legs. Warren opened one of Jake's drawers and took out a small bottle and squirted some of it on his hand and then started rubbing his willy with it. Then he crawled on top of Jake and then he put his willy in Jake's bottom and he started moving his hips forward and back, firstly he was really slow, probably because Jake kept on yelling "Go slowly!". Soon Warren started moving faster and Jake and Warren started moaning a lot. I saw Jake's willy, it was really big and it looked a lot different from my willy. Then Jake started moaning REALLY loudly, suddenly a lot of white stuff started coming out of Jake's willy and Warren started screaming "I'M GONNA CUM! I'M GONN CUM!" again and then he stopped and then he took his willy out of Jake's bottom and some more white stuff dribbled out of Jake's bottom. Then Warren moved up and started cuddling Jake and they both fell asleep. So, I went downstairs, got the camera and took a picture of them.

Ben stood at the front of the class and read the entire essay, then showed the class the picture of two sleeping naked boys. Most of the kids had just laughed but the teacher just sat in her seat with her mouth wide open, her glasses fogged up and a slight nose-bleed.

"B-ben, I-I'd like to see y-your p-parents," she struggled "h-have them *breath* come as soon as possible."

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Tee hee, I enjoyed that. I hope you did too. Thanks for reading, now don't forget to review.^^