New fic! Whooooop!

Disclaimer: sigh not mine; I would love myself if it was, but sadly I'm just not that darn clever.

……………………………

"Emergency, there's an emergency going on…" Holly paused, "it's still going on…" then, after getting no response whatsoever shouted, "OI!"

"w-wha!" Lister said sleepily, falling out of his bunk with a thud.

"I said there's an emergency going on."
"Oh…" Lister murmured still half asleep, "That's all right then…"

Rimmer leapt out of bed, "What's the emergency?" he said out loud, but in his mind he thought, ALIENS!

"It looks like a load of heavy rocks are coming straight towards us."

"Oh," said Rimmer, disappointed, "Can't you just move out of the way?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I've already tried that!" she flicked her blonde locks disapprovingly; "they seem to have a homing device implanted in them."

Lister had finally woken up, as you do when you hear that sort of thing, "a homing device?"

"Yes Dave, they've been following us for nearly three days now."

"3 days!"

"Yes Dave"

"And you didn't find enough time to mention this to us?"

"No, there was plenty of time; I just got bored… you know."

Lister started to panic, "Well - can't we stop them?"

"Nope. They'll hit us in about 5 hours."

"Five hours? Smeg!"

A load of heavy rocks hit the ship.

"Oops, I meant five seconds!"

….

Cat jumped into the room, his bright green jacket and silver tassels swaying, "What's happening buds? We're getting more shaken than-" he thought for a second, "a very shaken thing!"

"We've just been hit by a meteor shower." said Rimmer calmly, glad to be in his soft light form for once.

"We need help and fast!" Cat practically screeched,

"Don't you think we know that already?"

Cat nodded hysterically, "How can you not know - we've completely run out of salmon!"

Lister unpeeled himself from the wall, "mmfgh"

"That's not the worst of it," Holly's flustered face said, appearing on the monitor, "we're going to crash land!"

Rimmer smiled, the sarcasm almost dripping from his jaw, "Great! What a fantastic day this is!"

The floor vibrated heavily under their feet, Cat yelped, "My shoes! It's wrecking my shoes!" He soon stopped moaning though, as 3 seconds later Cat and Lister were slammed full force into the walls. Rimmer smirked happily. How lovely it was to already be dead.

……….

Before hand, down in the laundry room, Kryten was happily washing Lister's crusty boxers. The washing machine had failed to get the… dirt… off them, so Kryten was having a good old scrub.

He sighed to himself, there really was nothing like washing a pair of disgustingly stained underpants to boost your happiness. He was just bending down to pick up the soap when a gigantic blast from the meteor knocked him off his feet. He got tangled amongst the debris and washing baskets. Darn, he thought sincerely, as his system shut down, Now I'll never get Mr Lister's undies clean!

……..

Tumdeetumdeetum… Just waiting for you to review - please do, they're very much appreciated! Cheers me dears x.x