Keeping Sanity

Tears poured down my cheeks as I locked the bathroom door doing my best to drown out the muffled screams, breaking glass, and noises of slaps and punches being thrown, "Stop it!" I screamed as I pulled at my curls. The sound of furniture being roughly toppled over soon conflicted in with the other noises. I sighed shakily while the tears continued to fall from my eyes like waterfalls and got up and swung the door open and made my way down the staircase, "Can you stop fighting and hitting each other?" I screamed while my eyeliner mixed with my tears as I stood at the foot of the stairs. I was supposed to go out with Adam and Eli to the movies, but my parents ruined it when I saw them fighting by my only exit. I ended up staying home to afraid to face them. They looked at me, my mother bruised and somewhat broken and my dad covered in her blood, "Why do you fucking hit her?" I asked him still screaming. Neither of them said anything and I turned to my mom, "And you, why do you provoke him?" I continued my desperate rant searching for answers, but only got flinches from the power in my voice as they stayed silent and speechless, "You're making me go fucking crazy!" I yelled as I glanced at the both of them while my tears and eyeliner dried on my face, "Fine, don't answer me, you two fucking disgust me, I'm going out and don't expect me back any time soon!" I said still with a raised voice. I grabbed my purse and cardigan and walked out of the house slamming the door on the way out. As if on cue a hearse pulled up to the curb. I quickly wiped away as much of the tears and make-up that I could and slipped on my cardigan as I saw Eli say something to someone in the passenger seat, Adam, and he got out and when he saw me he made his way over to me, "What happened, me and Adam waited for like half an hour for you?" He questioned and his angry expression softened and turned to concern when he saw my disastrous appearance, "My parents were fighting again." I whispered as I sniffled and began to cry again. He gently grabbed me and hugged me tightly, "You're not…cutting again, are you?" He asked nervously, "N-no, I just feel like I'm going crazy because of them, I feel like…everything good in my life is being destroyed, obviously god hates me for something." I replied slightly shuddering from the bad memories of my cutting and he sighed as we pulled apart, "God doesn't hate you, you're parents are just having problems, really complicated problems, and you're wrong, me and Adam will always be there for you, we're your best friends, at least you should realize that your life does have meaning. You're a beautiful, smart, and successful girl; don't let your parents fighting make you think it's your fault." He replied as he grabbed my hand and gently squeezed it. I broke down in tears and my knees wouldn't hold me any longer; they brought me down to the grassy ground. He still had my hand and fell to the ground with me and I looked at him through my tears, "I-I'm sorry." I choked out through sobs as he grabbed me again and picked me up bridal style carrying me to his hearse. I buried my face in his neck as he opened the passenger door causing Adam to move into the middle. He placed me in the car and walked around to the driver's side. He started up the car as Adam looked worriedly at me, "What happened?" He whispered to Eli, but I could still here him, "Her parent…their just not getting along right now and it's really getting to her." He replied with frustration as he looked over at me then back to the road in front of him.

We stopped in front of a grassy area with picnic tables and swings, it was my childhood park. The place I went to when I wanted to remember the simple days when I was a kid and nothing was complicated. They were the only ones who knew that I went there a lot when I was stressed. Eli grabbed my hand and helped me out of the car and Adam soon followed, "That's cute." We turned to Adam's bittersweet expression and looked down at our hands. We both let go of each other's hand and a scarlet red tinted my face as I looked in a different direction while I caught a glimpse of Eli with a smirk, which I've gotten to know all too well, on his face. All three of us stopped in front of a small picnic table that held so many memories at the same time. Like when I had a crush on Eli in sixth grade, I decided to carve our initials into it. Eli for some reason finds that to be cute. The only thing is; I still have a crush on him, actually, scratch that; I'm in love with him, but I doubt he feels the same. The only person that knows about me being in love with Eli is Adam. Adam pity's me, he knows what it's like to get messed with or being in love with someone and not knowing how they felt. He was messed with by the one and only Fiona Coyne, she had a drinking problem and Adam couldn't trust her, but she made him believe that she was going to get better, but it was all a lie. Ever since then, he's been really screwed up and never really tries for a relationship. He was really in love with her, but all she did was rip his heart out. Eli and I have tried numerous times to get him to date, but he refuses.

I sighed happily while looking at the small picnic table that my two best guy friends were sitting on. I never really understood them, they were always so unpredictable, and it actually sort of freaked me out sometimes. I mean having an insecure Adam and reckless Eli was a lot to handle, but I eventually realized their state of insanity was normal, I wasn't sure if I was sane at the moment. For me, I'm the paranoid one; the one who's always afraid of what the bad news will be, the one who always worries about the future. I thought for a second and looked at them both, "Do you guys ever wish you could just, go back in time to when you were happier?" I questioned looking down at the table as I could feel two pairs of eyes burning holes into my forehead, "All. The time." Adam's voice rang through my ears and I shot my head back up to see Adam sitting down with his head rested on his hand that was propped up on the table, "Definitely." Eli replied looking down at the ground. I could see the sadness in their eyes and could hear it in their voices. We were the trio of misfits and that was our label, at school anyway. When we were out of school our lives were filled with crazy drama that only we knew about.

I cleared my throat and stared at Eli then back at Adam, "Why?" I asked, "Well, it was easier being Gracie and Adam when I was nine, no one knew and would never find out, I thought that maybe in high school things wouldn't be so bad, but I just had to screw it up with the whole 'going after a girl situation'." Adam replied to my question angrily and I gave him a sympathetic look and turned to Eli, "Well, for me it was all about the fact that no one really judged when we were in elementary school, I liked being 'just another kid' and now my nicknames are 'emo boy' and 'freak'. I liked not being noticed." He said with a sad sigh, "What about you?" He continued while looking at me, "I guess I liked being care free and that no one could depend on me to do complicated things and…that my parents were in love back then." I replied while he and Adam looked at me.

I got up and ran over to the swings and decided that I wanted to forget all the bad things in life and be the care free little kid I use to be. Adam and Eli walked over to me and began chuckling at how childish I looked while I wiggled my flats off and started grinning as I began to swing myself back and forth. Adam sat in the swing beside me while Eli started pushing me. After a few swings he grabbed my waist stopping me and started tickling me, "Stop, E-Eli, stop, th-that tickles!" I shouted as I got off the swing trying to run away, but he ended up grabbing my waist and tickling me. I pushed him causing him to trip and he grabbed onto me bringing me down on top of him. I blushed and quickly tried to get up, but he pulled me back down, "Don't move, I wanna try something." He said as he moved his hands from my wrist and cupped my cheek with one and pressed me against his body with his other one that was now around my waist. He slowly pulled my head down and our lips brushed coming in contact. He pressed his lips against mine tenderly and traced his tongue over my bottom lip begging for entrance; I opened my lips and his tongue thrust in to my mouth tangling with mine causing me to gasp lightly. I could almost feel him mentally smirk. He rolled us over so he was on top of me. He let his hand drop from my cheek and propped himself above me and used his other hand to caress up and down my side; starting from just next to my right breast and down my side then waist, and stopping on my thigh. He gently rubbed his thumb around my thigh as he pulled from the kiss leaving me in a daze. He brought his hand back to my cheek and rubbed his thumb around my cheekbone, "I do like you, what made you think I didn't?" He questioned, "Wait a second, how'd you find that out?" I asked as I sat up causing him to do the same, "It sort of slipped out when Adam was talking to me." He said shrugging it off, "Remind me to thank him and kill him later." I replied with a smile. He chuckled and looked at me again, "Clare, I've wanted to ask you this for so long, but was always too chicken to, will you be my girlfriend?" He asked nervously while taking my hand in his, "Eli, of course I would." I replied smiling, "YES! I mean…cool." His expression went from shocked to cool causing me to giggle, "You're such a dork." I said shaking my head at him, "I know, but I'm a hot dork." He replied, "Correction, you're MY hot dork." I said pulling him in for a kiss.

Reviews! I really hope you guys liked it! I will definitely continue this story! haha