Rated T for TEEN, for mentions of a certain punctuation that's not a comma, dash, exclamation point or question mark, and the Wammy kid's mouths. Yeah, moderate cursing.

(A/N: Okay, I decided that I wanted Linda to play a bigger role in Mello and Matt's lives. We don't know if she was or wasn't amirite? I think she'd be kinda in the middle of Mello and Near, and have a little crush on them both.

She did draw the picture of them together, after all. This is only chapter one, and there will be more. The speed of which I post and write them depends on my life, and my reviews. Even anonymus reviews are good.

Remember, this is self edited and the spelling might not be perfect, but I think it's pretty good. I'll say this only once more, but please review. If you thought it was good or bad. And tell me why you thought it was bad. Don't be afraid, I ain't gonna flame you. Thank you for reading!

Rachel S.)

PS - Me no no own de Deaf Noat. See, cuz if I did den dere would be a lot less pwot holes and moar about Wammy's. Guess dat iz jus me dough. All of deze characterz belongs to Obha and Obhata. But Patrick, Taylor, and Louis are mine. MINE.

Chapter One - Someone's Got Thier Comma

I often got sick. Blistering headaches, vomiting and disorentation were just some of my many symptoms. And it didn't help that I looked like a girl. So, on the first of January, when I told Roger that I couldn't attend class because I was sick again, when the other boys heard they skipped past me and whispered under his breath,

"I guess Mello's got his period,"

Sudden rage engulfed me, and I lunged. Roger grabbed my arms and pushed me backwards.

"What on earth do you think you're doing?" He demanded. Oh joy. Apparently the little jerk knew how to speak below Roger radar.

"H-he just said - " I pointed towards the direction of the boy, who was already more than three yards away by now, laughing. "He said -"

"What did he say to offend you so deeply?"

Oh yeah right, like I was going to say it outloud. I mumbled something quietly and turned my attention to the floor.

"If you don't wish to tell me, fine. It'll go on the long list of other things Mello doesn't wish to discuss with Roger." His voice was heavy with irony, and I tried not to scowl. Which was hard, because I always scowled. It was like my face.

"Sorry."

"Patrick!" Rogers voice rung out through the hallways, and I stood stiffly as a boy I didn't recognize turned around and walked towards us. He looked farmilliar though.

"Y-yes sir?"

That voice! This boy attended my Religious Study class. He was the one that was afraid to give his own opinions, like if he ever did give them then would start a Holy War by themselves.

"You were standing right there, were you not? Why don't you tell me what you saw?"

Damn.

"D-do I have to, sir?"

"Yes, Patrick."

'U-uhm...as you can remember, I was standing over t-there," Patrick weakly pointed to the spot where he had supposedly been. "And I-I uhm was talking to L-L-...Linda, who was also o-ver there, and - "

"Would you rather have Linda tell me what she saw?"

"Oh yes sir!"

Roger rolled his eyes and told Patrick that he could go, calling Linda over to him. Linda! Linda was my friend(ish). She had to stand for me. Maybe she could even create an ingenious lie? That would be fantastic.

"Yes Roger?" Linda absentmindedly scratched her wrists, something she did often.

"I was wondering if - don't do that Linda, you'll get another horrid rash - perhaps you would explain to me the situation you saw unfold between Mello and that other young lad down the hallway there?"

Linda paused, stopped scratching her wrists, and blinked. "Oh yes, I remember. It happened not a few minutes ago, I think." Linda had a habit of acting like she was high. This was one of the things I liked about her. I wasn't a very laid back person, so I supposed that's why I surrounded myself with people who spaced out often and game addict underachievers.

"Would you tell me what you saw?"

"Yes." She paused thoughtfully, scratching her wrists once more before continuing. "Well, I saw Louis - I remember him from my Physical Education class, and I know that's his name - casually walk past you guys. But he muttered something to Mello as he walked past, and he said it quietly so I believe you didn't hear him."

"I see." Roger glanced behind him at Louis, and I pleadingly looked at Linda. Either she ignored or didn't see my face, because she continued.

"I believe he said 'period'."

I winced.

"What?" Roger asked blankly.

"You know, like the menstrual cycle of a woman ages ten to fourty? I believe that it was supposed to be insulting Mello's, eh, manliness? I also believe that it was said because of Mello's haircut, attire, and physical shape, and also his sickliness every month or so that could be attributed to such."

"What's wrong with my haircut, attire, and physical shape?"

"Shush, Mello." Roger scolded. "Linda didn't mean it that way, correct?"

"Indeed. I myself find Mello very attractive." Linda batted her eyes at me, and a strange mix between admiration and disgust filled me.

"Mello, that was a compliment. Say thank you."

"Thank you?"

"Good. Now, I will deal with Louis. Mello, don't violently outlash on any student ever, no matter what they say to you. The nerve of that boy, saying that right next to me...I will let you go this once, but let this be a warning to you, Mello. Whenever - "

Roger was cut off by a gasp that escaped my own throat as I bolted down the hallway. I didn't look over my shoulder to see the (most indefinatley) bewildered faces of Linda and Roger, and didn't stop running until I reached the bathroom and promptly puked.

"That's bad." Linda commented from the doorway.

"No shit." I snapped, and then felt guilty about it. "Sorry."

"It's okay. Roger told me to tell you to go to your room and rest. Also, I'll ask the nurses to bring you something."

"I don't want them to do that. I'll get better on my own."

"What, when there's nothing left in your stomach to vomit? Don't be daft, Mello. As I had been previously saying, I think that - "

"Linda?"

I briefly lifted my face and didn't bother to hide the angry flush across my cheeks. Near.

"What do you want, Near?" I said with my voice full of contempt.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing."

"Oh really?"

Near tried to step closer but Linda blocked him from entering.

"Eh, hi Near. You might want to stay away. Mello's getting sick."

"Oh? In what way?"

"Getting sick as in the nice way to say puking his guts out."

"Oh. Did he go to the nurse?"

"You could ask me you know! I am right here!"

"Yes, but you're sick. You could also be delusional. Therefor you wouldn't really know whether or not you had actually really gone to the nurse, on account of you could have just thought you went, but not really gone. You know - "

"Near, I don't have time for this crap."

"Of course you don't. All the time you do have available, you'd rather spend...well...you get the general idea." He waved his hand towards me and I glared at him.

"Go away." My treacherous stomach churned and I groaned in agony. Linda and Near looked away.

"That's real bad." Near commented.

"No shit." I snapped. "Go away."

"He is going to the nurse, right?" Near asked, ignoring me again and turning to Linda.

"He doesn't wanna get help from the nurses. But I'm gonna make him."

"Is that so?" I asked.

"If worst comes to worst, I'll just tell Matt. If Matt, you and I pressure him, he'll get some help from the nurses. One way or the other."

"I wouldn't listen to a million Lindas and Matts. And when I start obeying the rule of Near, you might want to check the nearest window for a flying - "

"Whatever. That's what he says now. I'll get him to do something about it."

"Good. It wouldn't be a fair match if you died before L did." Near turned to me, and I felt my face heat up more than it already was.

"Very funny Near. Now why don't you take you and your sorry ass wannabe humor, and go away for the umpteenth - "

"See you later Linda. Bye Mello. I hope you get well."

I don't know why, but that infuriated me even more. I didn't say anything as I watched Near walk away, twirling a lock of his hair around his finger as absentmindedly as Linda scratching her wrists.

"Goddamn him." I muttered under my breath.

"Why? What'd he do to you? I thought he just wished you to get well!"

"Linda, you just don't understand."

She snorted. "Of course I do. I understand that you hate Near, and even though he might not show it, Near hates you too. I understand that your both fighting for a title that is the real reason all of us are here to begin with. It's a matter of respect...of trust...of longing for...I understand that. I really do.

" Now what I don't understand is, why you and Near both go batshit insane when the freakin' scores haven't even come out yet! You both have no idea who is on the top or bottom! You just don't know! Personally, I think it'd be a helluva good karma if both of you shared the title for number two, and some nice kid like Patrick got number one."

I listened to her and weighed both sides of the argument. For some reason, the other side was invisble to me. Blocked by some unknown force. But I wasn't going to tell her that.

"Yeah, you're right, Linda. I'm sorry." To her, not to Near. The day I was sorry to Near was the day I took a leap out of the nearest window, something I'd been wanting to do anway up until about two years ago.

"Not to Near though, huh?"

She was smarter than I'd expected. Well, we weren't here for no reason. "Yes."

"I can understand that. He's the exact same way. Just try to...try to be...nevermind. Maybe you're right. Maybe I don't understand. I'm gonna close the door now. When you're through, I'll be waiting outside. I'll walk you back to your room."

"You don't need to - "

"Shush. Now you don't understand." She began scratching at her wrist again, and closed the door behind her.

I sat there for a minute, thinking about what she said. Then I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and opened the door.

"Linda, I thought about - "

"I'm sorry."

Louis, not Linda, was standing in front of the doorway.

"Go away." It was my immediate (and by now, probably also my signature) response. It never failed me, and usually the offender granted my wishes. Unless it was Near. He just ignored me. But he didn't really count as a real person, right?

"I'm sorry. Look, this wasn't my idea. Roger told me to tell you. And I was going to ask Linda to tell you, but she said she wouldn't. So, I'm telling you myself."

"Does it look like I care? What do you want me to say, it's alright because I forgive you? Because it's not. I hate you."

"I never said that. I don't want you to forgive me. Because I don't mean the apology. Really, no offense, but I'm honestly tempted to start up on you again."

I glared, hoping that I would maybe get laser vision to burn through this guy's skull. Or just powers of painful torture. Hell, I'd settle for a cast iron pan to give him a good whack upside the head. I didn't ask for much.

"Why are you wasting my time? I don't have the will or energy to deal with you. Leave me alone. I never asked to talk to you. I find your existence meaningless and bleak. Go get a very painful cancer and die. Leukemia will suffice. I heard that is painful. But if you can get a brain tumor, also very painful, I'd be all the happier."

His face contorted. "Geez."

"Yeah, geez. Go jump off a bridge."

"You're kinda crazy."

"Not kinda. I'm really crazy. And you're really stupid for trying to pick fights with a crazy person."

Louis didn't say anything, but turned around and walked away. Maybe he didn't expect me to be that offended. Maybe he wanted me to be like Patrick. But it wasn't going to get that way.

"I'm sorry." Linda walked up to me, and gingerly reached out to touch my shoulder. But when she saw the look I was giving her she reconsidered and let her hand fall to her side. "I didn't know he was going to be like that. Or I wouldn't have told him to apologize to you personally."

"It doesn't matter."

I tried to keep the dizzy look off my face that I was sure was there. Pain hit my stomach in waves, and it took everything I had to keep from doubling over and passing out on the spot.

"Oh God. You look awful. How do you feel?"

Why bother lying now? "Like shit." I said to her through gritted teeth. "I have to go. I'll - "

"Mello, hows it feel to be a woman now?" Taylor asked in a sing-song voice, skipping past me.

"Get back here and stand your ground, coward!" I yelled after him, charging. Linda grabbed the back of my shirt and easily pulled be back.

"Don't be daft." She said flatly.

"But - "

"I don't care. Even if you do fight that guy, you'll pass out before Roger has a chance to say detention. You know this. Get real."

I glared at her.

"Let go of me." It was a weak comeback, and it barely counted as one, but it would have to do.

She obeyed, and I began to walk back towards my room.

"If it makes you feel any better, I don't really think you're attractive."

"How the hell is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"I don't know. You looked uncomfortable when I said that to you in front of Roger. I was only trying to be nice, though. So you don't have to worry. I do think you're kind of cute, though."

"Gee, thanks. Incase you were wondering, I found the attractive thing to be more of a compliment. I wasn't upset or uncomfortable. It was just kind of...weird."

"Yeah. I understand now. Okay. Here we are."

"You didn't have to - "

"Mua mua mua, not listening." She knocked on the door and grinned at my incredibly irritated expression. She knocked a little louder.

"Jesus Christ, wait a minute will ya? I'm on fricken level twenty three!"

"Matt, it's Linda and Mello. Open the door."

"I can't I'm on level - "

"Pause the stupid game, Matt!"

"Just come in."

"It's locked."

"Then pick the lock."

"Why can't you just pause the damn game?" I demanded.

"Well, it sounds like your lovely voice Mello, so I'll be happy to inform you that I'll lose my concentration if - "

"That's it. I don't have time for this shit."

Linda pushed me out of the way, lifted her leg, and kicked the door. Hard.

"Alright, don't break down the door. I'll open it in a - "

Bam. Another blow to the door. I couldn't contain my smirk as Linda continued to kick the door until I heard a loud, exasperated groan. The door opened.

"See? Come in. What do you want?"

"You have a roommate. Why the hell do ya lock the door?" Linda demanded.

"Geez, maybe cuz I wanted some privacy. Mello told me that he'd be out. Studying for the finals again. With either you or some teacher."

"Well he ain't. He's real sick. He can't study anymore."

Matt looked up. "Oh? Sick how?"

"Don't be stupid." I snapped. "What way do you think? Now if you don't excuse me, I'd like to put myself into a coma until tommorrow morning." I winced crossing the room, and collapsed onto my mattress.

"How sick, Linda?"

"The usual. Nasuea. Abdominal pain. Vomiting. You know."

"I see."

"Yeah, and he's real pissed about it. Some jerk was insinuating that he was getting his you know what."

"Huh?"

"You know."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Matt, don't be an idiot."

"Oh yeah, I'm an idiot because you're being so vauge."

"A certian...eh...punctuation."

"A comma? A dash? What, a - oh."

I buried my head in my pillow, praying for the noise and stupidity to go away.

"Yeah, that." Linda said roughly. "I find it insulting if you don't mind."

"You find it insulting?" I couldn't help but yell from my spot. Linda giggled.

"I guess you'd be in a more suitable position to be offended. Oh, we ran into Near too."

"You did?"

"Yeah. During an...um...episode."

"An episode?"

"Of...um...sickness."

"What?"

"Sickness as in vomiting."

"Ah. And?"

"What do you think? Mello bitched."

"Excuse me, but I don't bitch." I interjected.

"Of course you don't. And I don't breath." Matt smirked from where he was standing by Linda, crossing his arms.

"You won't be in a few seconds if you keep talking about me like I'm not sitting over here."

"Hahaha, what a threat. Incase you haven't noticed, you're not very startling when you're sick."

"And you're not very smart when you're well. Go figure." As if punishing me for my words, waves of pain hit my entire body, and I tried to keep a straight face as I turned over and crawled into a little ball.

"Your voice isn't intimidating when it's weak and raspy. Just so you know. Anyways, are you gonna get the nurse, Linda?"

"Oh, well of course. I wouldn't 'zactly be a very good friend if I didn't."

"I don't want to see the nurses."

"Nobody cares what you want at this point. Honestly, if it was up to you, you'd be dead by now."

Undoubtably true, but like I was actually going to admit this.

I crossed my arms and opened my mouth to say something, but was cut off by pain. Apparently it showed on my face, because Matt said,

"Haha. Karma baby, you never fail me."

"That's an awful thing to say." Linda snapped.

"He'd say the same thing about me."

"He's actually right, I would. And don't worry, because as soon as this crap is all over, I'm gonna kick his ass."

"Of course you are. That is, if you aren't too busy in the mirror."

"What would I be doing in the mirror?"

I didn't realize the set-up until it was too late.

"Well you'd be checkin' your ne - hey!" Matt rubbed his shoulder as Linda glowered.

"Idiot." She muttered to herself, pressing her eyes shut in annoyance. "Don't say that. Maybe you oughta check your own."

"Very funny, Linda. Just cuz you looo -"

"Good grief, do you ever shut up?" Linda demanded, frantically cutting him off. "I'm gonna go get something from the nurse. See you later." She tried to hide the red on her face as she walked away, slamming the door behind her.

"She likes you, ya know."

"So? If she really did, she'd probably tell me."

"She's 'fraid you're gonna reject her."

"She's smart. I probably would."

"You're cold."

"You're stupid."

"Ouch. At least I'm not the one vomiting my guts out."

"You will be once I'm done with you."

"Whatcha gonna do, look at me?"

"...shut up."

"Hahaha, Mello without a comeback. This is a first."

I glared at him, before pulling the covers over my head and wincing in pain once more.