Life is hard. Love is messy. Nick knew that. Jess knew that. That didn't change anything.

So when Jess walked out of apartment 4D for the last time, Nick knew he couldn't really do anything to stop her. He tried anyway. He begged and pleaded and tried to make amends in any way he could, but nothing worked.

"Nick," she'd whispered, pain evident in her watery eyes, "I can't keep doing this back and forth with you. I can't do this if you won't trust me."

Nick couldn't say anything to that. He knew he'd fucked up big time.

"Please, Jess..." he whispered, his voice so quiet he could barely hear himself speak.

She was visibly crying as she shook her head and walked away.

Nick just stood there in the doorway, tears streaking his own face. He let her get away again, because, well, that was his move.

It started when Jess started acting nervous around him. Every time he would ask her a direct question, she would freeze up or mumble something incoherent and walk away. She was coming home later, saying she'd had a science fair or extra papers to grade or a parent-teacher conference. She told him she was too tired to go out for ice cream when he'd asked, even though he knew she loved the new ice cream shop on 34th street. Nick knew something was wrong, but he just didn't know what. He knew how Jess was, though, and he resolved to let her be for a little while.

Then, a few days after her erratic behavior began, just weeks shy of their second anniversary, his world fell apart.

He had offered to do her laundry for her (after all, she'd been telling him how busy she was all week), and while she was in the shower, he took a stack of her flannel pajamas to her room. He found the dresser drawer they belonged in, tucking them away carefully. That's when it happened. Jess's phone gave two high-pitched beeps, and Nick picked it up. He hadn't meant to be invasive, but he glanced at the two new text messages on her home screen.

One was from Cece: "You have to tell him. It's not fair to him to keep lying to him like this." Nick felt his breath quicken, and he glanced at the second message. This one read, "Jess- room 239, tomorrow at 5? Waiting for you." It was from someone named Joey, and it was followed by a cutesy winky face.

He didn't want to see any more. Nick dropped the phone and practically fell backwards onto Jess's bed, feeling sick. It all made sense now. She'd found someone else. Someone better than him. Joey, apparently. Nick wasn't a crier- he hadn't even shed a tear at his own father's funeral, dammit- but he felt that uncomfortable knot forming in the back of his throat. He let one ragged sob escape his lungs before reeling it all in, and sealing everything he was feeling away in a deep, deep part of him. He told himself he knew this would happen. He knew he wasn't good enough for her- everyone knew that. He knew she'd eventually find someone better for her. With that, he stood up and left, slamming her door behind him. He grabbed a sweatshirt out of his room, and without stopping to think, took the first bottle of liquor he could find out of the kitchen cabinet. With a final slam of the front door, Nick Miller left apartment 4D and started roaming the streets.

Nick collapsed onto the sand, plunking the half empty bottle of Jack beside him. His phone had been ringing for what seemed like the past hour, and without bothering to see who was calling, he answered it with a slurred, "What do you want?"

"Nick?" It was her. It was Jess. He hated Jess, he had decided not long ago. He hated her stupid bangs and her annoying polka dots and her fucking alien eyes. "Nick, where are you?"

"Jessica Day," he sang into the phone, taking another swig of whiskey, "you need to stop calling me!"

"Nick? Nick, I can't hear you. I need you to come home, okay? We need to talk."

More quietly this time, he whispered, "Fuck you, Jess," and snapped his phone shut. He laid down, trying to blanket himself in the chilly sand and forget his entire life. The biggest disappointment wasn't what Jess had done, though- no, that wasn't it. He was more disappointed in himself than in her. He hadn't been enough for Jess. He hadn't managed to hold on to her, as hard as he'd tried. After screaming as loud as his lungs could manage to the empty beach, he passed out.

It was an hour later when a sandy, disheveled, and still fairly drunk Nick stormed into the loft.

Jess, hearing the front door slam, came out of her room with a bewildered look on her face.

"Nick!" she exclaimed, approaching him. "What the hell? I really needed to talk to you last night and you just disappeared!"

Nick pushed past her, throwing his hands up.

"I disappeared, Jess? I did? Where the fuck have you been all week?" he growled. "Grading papers and staying out late and keeping all kinds of secrets from me? Yeah, that sounds about right."

"Nick, what are you even talking about?" Jess cried, following him into his room. "It's the end of the school year- of course I'm busy!"

"Busy with Joey?" Nick quipped, turning to face her. A look of confusion crossed over Jess's face as Nick said, "Yeah, Jess, I know about Joey."

"Joey? Nick, what is going on?"

"I saw your phone, Jess, I read his message- 'meet me tomorrow!'" Nick slurred, adding exaggerated winks to mimic the emoticons from Joey's message. "You're sleeping with him, aren't you? You've moved on, found someone better. I knew you would. Leave me alone, Jessica!"

Jess stood there for a second, feeling anger rising in her belly.

"Joey's a seventh grade science teacher, Nick. He's helping me set up a surprise party later this afternoon for the kids that got all A's this year." Jess paused for a moment before adding "I can't believe you were snooping through my phone!"

"Don't lie to me, Jess!" Nick bellowed. "Just admit it. I'm not what you need! Remember what Cece told you- it isn't fair to not tell me you're hot for teacher!"

"You went through my messages with Cece?!" Jess screeched. Her eyes filled with tears. "What the hell, Nick?"

They fought and screamed for fifteen more minutes, Nick drunkenly shouting callous insults at Jess, and Jess defending herself until she could take no more.

With that, she slammed his door and practically sprinted to her own room, collapsing on her bed. After an hour of sobbing into her pillow, she sat up and made an executive decision. With tears still streaming down her face, she staggered into her closet and started packing her biggest duffel bag full of her most important things.

She felt guilty- she knew she had been acting weird lately, and she knew Nick deserved to know why, but she couldn't take the stress anymore. So the next morning, Jessica Day walked out of apartment 4D, carrying her belongings and a secret that she thought she would never share.