Disclaimer: I don't own Psych or Glee, if I did I'd be writing for television not for the internet.

"Alright everybody, gather 'round we have a special group of visitors from Santa Barbara today." Will Schuester announced to the glee club of William McKinley High, on a Thursday afternoon. The kids all eyed the visitors carefully. The messy haired guy in the polo looked pretty cool, but the second visitor didn't look so hot. His close cropped hair, grey suit and fierce scowl made him look like Tony Randall in an Alfred Hitchcock production. "This is Shawn Spencer and Detective Carlton Lassiter from the Santa Barbara Police Department." He motioned first to the messy haired guy and then to the man in the suit.

Lassiter watched as a blonde girl in the back row raised her hand and then started talking without waiting to be called on.

"Mr. Shu, did you get arrested for a DIY?" She asked in a monotone, quiet voice. Lassiter was strongly reminded of the cheerleaders from his high school days. Will gave the girl a quizzical look.

"No Brittany, Detective Lassiter is an alum of William McKinley and, since he now works for the SBPD and was in town for the reunion, I thought I would call in a favor and have him share some stories to inspire us for our upcoming Spring Fling performance." Will smiled warmly at both his club and the visitors. Lassiter wanted to throw up at that moment. He had never understood choir. To him choir was in church and there were old women with blue hair singing with horribly wobbly vibrato. He wasn't even sure he remembered Will from his high school days. The man was a few years younger than him and Carlton hadn't bothered to stay in town long after graduation. His mom had moved them to Ohio right before his freshman year and the moment Lassiter could he was back in Santa Barbara, where he belonged.

"What exactly is this club?" Spencer spoke up, briefly flinging his hand in the air as if he were a student as well.

"We're a glee club, Mr. Spencer-"

"Shawn, please Mr. Spencer is my father." Shawn interjected.

"Shawn," Will corrected himself, his smile faltering ever so slightly that only Shawn and Lassiter picked up on it. "we sing and dance. Anything from show tunes to pop hits." Lassiter glanced over at the psychic. For once Shawn, the poster child for ADD, was focused.

"What are you singing now?" He asked heading for the stack of music on the piano. Lassiter rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. As much as he hated having to talk to these kids about his cases, he had been invited to do just that and damn it if he wasn't going to.

"I shot a cat once," He started to say. The kid in the wheelchair looked up at him in alarm, but everyone else in the room was too busy running over to the piano to show Spencer their songs.

"Oh! I like that one!" Spencer proclaimed grabbing the book from the kid Lassiter had been calling Von Trapp in his head.

"Kurt, why don't you sing that with Shawn?" Will suggested waving the accompanist over. Lassiter rolled his eyes when Von Trapp's name ended up being Kurt. The piano started playing and Lassiter almost let himself enjoy the song, until Spencer started singing. Then Lassiter recognized the song. Something about a bird and a worm and it was by a guy who said his name was Owl City. Lassiter could never understand modern music. Everyone was enthralled by Spencer and Lassiter slipped out into the hall unnoticed. Outside the door was a tall, blonde woman with short hair. Lassiter did a double take. She looked really familiar to him.

"Damn kids and their music," He said to her by way of greeting. She turned to look at him, her eyes going up and down as if she were appraising him.

"Yes, William certainly has a knack for teaching them annoying habits. I'm Sue." She held out a hand to him. Lassiter shook it and felt a chill run down his spine at the physical contact. He felt like a slab of meat at a butcher.

"Head Detective Carlton Lassiter," Lassiter managed to get out without throwing up. Sue gave him a smile that reminded Lassiter of when people sent him emails about animals smiling, it didn't look natural.

"I've always had a thing for cops you know," Sue said, starting to move towards him. Lassiter backed up and into the rehearsal room. Much to his dismay Sue followed. He managed to get close to the piano and in his panic started singing with Spencer.

"You're the bird, I'm the worm and it's plain to see," Spencer was singing. Lassiter summoned the skills he'd learned in middle school choir and harmonized the next line.

"That we were meant to be," Lassiter kept his eyes glued to the page. If he looked at Spencer, he'd never hear the end of it and if he looked at Sue his life would end in a split second and these kids would need therapy for the rest of their lives. There were a few more bars of the song and when it was over Lassiter raised his head up to see everyone in the room staring at him. Thankfully Sue and her predatory gaze were gone.

"Lassie, that was amazing." Spencer said.

"I didn't know cops could be singers too." Kurt piped up. Lassiter felt himself flush a couple shades of red. "Are there any other things cops can do?"

"We get to carry a gun," Lassiter said pulling aside his jacket and showing the kids his shoulder holster. A few of the girls backed away. "You also get to go to schools and tell kids about what you do."

"Which is why we're here," Spencer interrupted. "I am a psychic investigator. Yes, I know it's the most awesome job on the planet." With that statement Lassiter knew he'd lost all hope of being the center of attention. He smirked as he watched the kid's fascinated faces at Spencer's mumblings about his 'job'. Lassiter let Shawn talk and pulled out his cell phone. He could at least browse the internet for musical opportunities in the Santa Barbara area….. you know, just in case he had to go undercover or escape crazy gym teachers.

FIN!