Sick Cycle Carousel

by Princess4x07

“When will this end? It goes on and on. Over and over and over again. Keeps spinning around. I know it won’t stop. ‘Til I stand down from this sick cycle carousel.” ~ Lyrics by Lifehouse Sick Cycle Carousel

Title: Sick Cycle Carousel: Bottom of the Wheel
Author: Princess4x07
EMAIL: Princess4x07@hotmail.com
Spoilers: Through Season 3
Rating: R, language, sexual innuendo, angst
Archiving: Sure, just ask.
Summary: "When will this end? It goes on and on. Over and over and over again. Keeps spinning around. I know it won't stop. 'Til I stand down from this sick cycle carousel." ~ Lyrics by Lifehouse Sick Cycle Carousel
Author Notes: Major AU. Part 1 of 3. To enjoy, you must leave S4 at the door.
Thanks to my Beta Queen BA for the plot and the cell scene, Bunny the muse for the song, and RAB for excellent stimulating...conversations.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Not the lyrics, not the characters. But a girl can play.



Fate. Love. Need. Beyond Hope. Coin. Sun. Baby.

Barely formed images fluttered across his mind, lost in the space between, as John Crichton regained consciousness. The first thing he noticed was a warm naked body curled around him, and he momentarily reveled in the comfort of human touch. But any further thought was quickly overshadowed by the dull throbbing pain in his side. Groaning, he slowly opened his eyes and found himself staring into the face of a beautiful woman.

"John, you need to lie still. You're injured." John studied the woman through half closed eyes. She had a beautiful accent, long dark hair, and a very familiar smile. But for the life of him, he couldn't remember who she was. In fact, he couldn't even remember where he was, or how he got there.

The woman broke his reverie by gently propping a few pillows behind his head and bringing a cup to his lips. "Drink this, it should dull the pain. I'm afraid my brief didn't include any in-depth information on human physiology."

Brief? Maybe he WAS experiencing brain damage. "Uh...I'm sorry but I seem to be suffering from one hell of a blackout. Who are you?" He managed to croak through a dry scratchy throat. Damn, his chest hurt.

"John, this is no time for games..." She paused when she met his confused stare. Concerned, the woman placed a hand on his cheek. "John, it's Jena."

Seeing the lack of recognition in John's eyes, Jena realized he had no idea who she was. Hoping to trigger something, Jena began reciting the past days' events.

"John, I found you in your ship, floating dead in space. You must have just run out of breathable atmosphere. It took a nerve shot to get you breathing again. You've been asleep for the past 14 solar days, and I was starting to believe that the lack of oxygen had caused permanent damage. As for how you ended up in your ship without fuel...well, I was hoping you could tell me..."

Jena faltered when she saw the look of shock and panic on John's face.
"John, what's the last thing you remember?" Jena asked in a worried voice.

John closed his eyes for a moment, concentrating as he tried to recall the last thing he remembered. It was difficult. Things were very hazy, and his mind seemed to be sluggish. It was too much work, and he just wanted to sleep.

Jena immediately noticed the medicine was starting to take affect. "John, you're safe here. You need to rest."

When John simply nodded and closed his eyes, Jena knew this John Crichton remembered nothing of his last three cycles in the Uncharted Territories. "Rest, John. I'll be right here when you wake up."

Jena pulled the cover back over herself and John, wondering how she always got into these complicated situations. Glancing at the man next to her, she realized they always seemed to occur when John Crichton was around.

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John awoke from the strangest nightmare imaginable. He wasn't sure why, but it reminded him of The Wizard of Oz in space. Weird, must have been too much beer and pizza.

Hearing something to his right, he slowly rolled over onto his side. It was dark in the room and he had to squint, but he could definitely make out the shape of a woman.

She was sitting on the edge of the bed, her naked back facing him, running her hands through her hair. Something about that action produced an intense longing that he had never experienced before. For a moment, he couldn't breathe, only wanting to run his fingers through her hair, and then as quickly as the feeling came, it passed as she turned around.

"Oh, you're awake. Feeling better?" Jena asked as she slipped a shirt on over her head.

"Yeah, I think so. How long was I out this time?" He asked sitting up and pulling the sheets more securely around his waist.

"Only for about a solar day. You were mumbling in your sleep about something called Tomo and Kanvas, very bizarre. You need to eat. Right now all I have are food cubes and water. I didn't want to leave you alone."

Handing him a tray of food cubes and a glass of water, she chuckled when she saw his look. "They're just food cubes, I promise there're safe."

As he reached for one, he had a flash of a memory. Pausing, he tried to grasp more of the image as he played with the food cubes. Giving up, he looked down at the tray.

"What is that?" Jena asked, seeing the arrangement.

"It's a happy face. See, the pattern forms a...never mind." Damn, where did that come from?

"Do you feel up to discussing what you remember?" Jena asked, making herself comfortable on the bed next to him with her own tray of food cubes.

She had spent the whole day trying to decide on the best course of action. This had not been part of the plan when she went looking for John Crichton. From their previous conversation, she could tell he had no idea who she was. She had pondered that bit of information for a while, and ended up realizing she could use it to her advantage.

But she had to tread carefully for two important reasons. First off, his mental state doesn't seem to be very stable at the moment. Secondly, that frelling tralk Aeryn Sun and shipmates are probably looking for him. Well, first things first, she thought, find out how much he knows.

John sat in silence trying to piece together what happened, which was extremely difficult without all the pieces.

"I remember Canaveral, lift-off, entering the upper atmosphere...some kind of energy surge, a wormhole, then darkness. That's it. End of the line... How do you know me?" John, frustrated and a little disturbed by what he was obviously forgetting, tried to read Jena's face.

"You've been out here in the Uncharted Territories for a little over three cycles." Jena paused trying to gauge his reaction. "I'm Sabacean, not human. We met on a planet once." Jena finished grinning. "I saved your eema."

John sat there in stunned silence. He's been out here for three years. Three fucking years and he can't remember anything. And she's an alien! He could feel himself start to panic.

"John, I need you to calm down. I'm sure it's only temporary. It'll probably all come back to you soon."

Focus John, Focus. He felt himself calm down. "So you don't know anything else that happened to me?"

You were turned into a statue and impregnated a princess with a child you'll never be able to see, Jena thought sarcastically. But answered, "I only know a few things that would do more damage than good right now. I hesitate to put you under any more mental stress than necessary. But," she said quickly seeing his mouth open to argue, "I promise that I will help you any way I can. I care about you John, and I won't let anything happen to you. You can trust me."

He was starting to get tired again. As he scooted down under the covers feeling the pull of sleep, a drunken giant white rabbit flitted across his mind. Weird, he thought, he hated that movie.

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Aeryn Sun was not someone who could appreciate irony very often. Her whole life was one sardonic twist after another. But this, this was too much she thought, as she gave a little sarcastic chuckle.

"Something funny, Sun?"

"No, sir." Aeryn said in a clipped tone, offering no explanation for the outburst.

She had been with this group of ex-peacekeeper assassins for three weekens. Actually three weekens, one solar day, and eight arns, but she tried not to look at it that way. The renegade group was actually larger than she expected. Who would have thought there were so many disenchanted peacekeepers out there? Some were irreversibly contaminated like her, but many chose to leave, wanting to break away from what the peacekeepers had become.

The leader of her group was one of these men, Lt. Parin. He was a good man who believed in the old ways, someone she could respect. The group had been together for about a cycle before she came in and changed the dynamic. She was still trying to prove herself, but it was difficult.

When she had joined up with the ex-peacekeepers she had wanted to sever all ties to John Crichton. And avoid any reputation she had acquired traveling through Uncharted Territories with him.

So in order to blend in, she had given them the first name that popped into her mind: Sundance. Of course, she had quickly amended that potential daily reminder of him, by insisting they call her Sun. This allowed her to successfully escape "Aeryn Sun's" larger than life reputation among outcasts and resistance groups. Little did she know this new and improved Sun was developing a reputation all her own. She was quickly becoming the assassins' resident bitch.

Glancing around, Aeryn contemplated her current surroundings. The ex-peacekeeper assassins used an abandoned peacekeeper base for their headquarters on the planet Giltock. The base housed ten assassin units, made up of six soldiers each.

It was so different here, than on Moya. She had yearned for this structured life for so long while aboard the living ship. But now that she was here, she missed the warm, humming, golden halls of Moya. She missed home.

"Everyone clear on their mission. We've narrowed down the search to these three planets." Lt. Parin stated pointing at the map. "We'll pair up and do a reconnaissance mission and find any information on the target. I want to have contact from each pair every solar day. We're not taking any chances. There are rumors of peacekeeper activity in this system. So stay alert." With that, the group dispersed and Aeryn thought for the hundredth time. What have I gotten myself into?

Aeryn was paired up with Officer Kraine. He had been one of the originals that founded the group of assassins. He reminded her of a typical peacekeeper male, including Velorek and Larraq. Attractive with dark hair, dark eyes, and an obnoxious superior attitude that annoyed the dren out of her.

At one time, Kraine was exactly the type of man that would have captivated her attention. But somewhere along the way, her preference had switched to compassionate blue eyes. Frell, 200 microts, she thought, she went 200 microts without thinking about him.

"Officer Sun, care to let me in on what was so funny earlier? I don't think I've ever seen you laugh, or smile for that matter, in the past three weekens." Officer Kraine questioned, pulling her out of her hopeless attempt at blocking John from her mind.

"It's nothing you would understand. Are you ready to head down to the planet?" Short and to the point as always, Aeryn snapped up the map and left to get her bag without waiting for an answer.

It was true; no one would understand the irony of this situation except her, and maybe John. Frell, she thought, breathing in deeply she pushed away the pain. She was growing more accustomed to the pain. So she adapted, learned to accept it. But she still had to remind herself to breathe.

Everyone was assigned a certain aspect of the mission. She was in the unit that assassinated targets. And because secrecy was of the utmost importance, they were only told information on a need to know basis.

This last piece of information that she had just received was the source of her amused outburst. She just found out the intended target: Jenavia Chatto. This was going to be interesting.

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The planet they were searching was entirely too large for only two people. It was going to take them at least a weeken to cover all the cities, and that wasn't even counting the barren lands or coasts. Aeryn didn't know if she could handle being alone with Kraine for that long without killing him.

The plan was to systematically hit a city each day and find as much info on Chatto as possible, without drawing unwanted attention. Once within the city, Aeryn and Kraine would split up and work their way to the middle. At the end of the day, they would evaluate what they had found, then contact the base.

Aeryn had no idea who wanted Jenavia killed. She could make an educated guess, but it was irrelevant in the end. Someone wanted her dead and that's all that mattered.

Aeryn pushed down the small voice that was giving her pause. Stupid frelling emotions. She would never have felt guilt if it weren't for him, Aeryn thought, as she stepped off the marauder. Frelling bastard, had to go and make her more. In her heart, she knew she was weakening. It was taking everything she had to push down the emotions, and it was taking its toll.

"Good luck, and don't forget to check in," the pilot said. The marauder pulled away leaving her and Kraine stranded together for at least a weeken on a planet, in search of Jenavia. Wonderful, Aeryn thought.

"Well, Sun keep your com activated, and I'll meet you right here in eight arns," Kraine said pointing at the map they both had a copy of.

"Sounds like a plan," Aeryn stated and was momentarily swept away in a memory of John.

"Right then, com me if you have problems." Kraine threw over his shoulder as he walked towards the city that was on today's agenda, leaving her alone.

She headed off in the other direction. Idly wondering what John was doing on Moya, and wishing he were here. No, and with all of her strength, she stopped that train of thought. It's better this way.

************************************************************************

John was excited. Today he was going to the market with Jena. He had finally convinced her he was strong enough. That, and he was starting to drive her crazy with questions. He had been cooped up in the hut for long enough.

Not that it wasn't gorgeous here. Jena had picked a fabulous place for a hut. On the beach, with a small private fresh waterfall behind the hut, surrounded by palm trees. It reminded him of Hawaii. Except, of course, the fact that the sky is purple and the palm trees are orange, but it made that all the more exotic, and erotic for that matter.

It had been three weekens since she found him in his module, and he still couldn't remember anything after the wormhole. He would sometimes have flashes of images that could be a memory, but he had no way of knowing. Some were so extreme; they were more likely dreams or nightmares. But even those seemed to contain emotions and feelings so familiar to him he would swear...and then they would disappear.

And then there was the enigma of his relationship with Jena. Since the first time he awoke one weeken ago in a bed with her naked body curled up against him, he assumed in the past they had an intimate relationship, but he wasn't sure. He now sleeps in boxers, but she seems to prefer the nude, which is fine with him. The funny thing is, he has no urge to have sex with her. It's not that he's not attracted to her, but something is holding him back. She hasn't made a move yet, but he thinks it's more due to him being injured, than her not wanting to. He can see it in her eyes; she's waiting to pounce. And he wonders what he'll do when she does.

"You ready for the market?" Or maybe it should be, is the market ready for you, Jena thought as she returned from bathing in the waterfall. John looked up and shook his head chuckling, as Jena walked across the room completely nude. If there's one thing he could say about Jena, it's that she's quite comfortable with her body, and not the least bit modest. Got to love that.

"Yeah, I have to get something other than these leather pants. Did you notice how tight they are?" John asked struggling to pull the pants up over his butt.

Jena looked up grinning, "Oh yeah, I noticed, very nice, " she purred in a seductive tone.

John chuckled, blushing a bit; he'd set himself up for that one. "Right, so are you going like that?" Nodding at her state of dress, or lack there of.

Jena looked down at herself, then back up at John. "Do you object?"

"Would it matter?" John asked curiously.

Jena laughed, "Oh, you're good. Come on, let's go." She headed for the door as she slipped on a short form fitting blue halter-top dress with nothing on under it. Well, at least it covered something, John thought as he followed her out the door.

The market was like nothing he'd ever seen. Every dream or nightmare was here, walking and talking, right in front of him. He walked down the main street, eyes wide, mouth open, taking in all the sights, smells, and sounds. He never imagined anything like this existed.

Jena pulled him into a little shop on the right. The owner, being used to peacekeepers, glanced up at John and Jena. Jena spoke up, asking if they carried men's clothing. The owner pointed to the back right corner. Jena quickly went over to a rack and started picking out an assortment of pants and shirts handing them to John. Jena glanced up when she heard John mutter something about shopping with girlfriends and earth.

Jena asked with a small smile, "What was that?"

John grinned, "You remind me of an ex-girlfriend on Earth. She used to insist on dressing me, it was nice at first, but then she went all maternal on me and well...it was a little freaky."

"Girlfriend?"

"Yeah, you know." Jena looked at him patiently for an explanation. "Obviously, no sabacean equivalent. Um...Ok someone who is in the running for a lifelong mate. Kind of like a trial period, with a no money back guarantee."

"Interesting. Did you have a girlfriend when you left John?" Jena asked with attraction in her eyes.

"Nope." There it was again, that weird feeling. Like he should remember something. Well he should remember a lot, but one thing seems really important, if he could just pinpoint the...

"OK, I think we have enough. Let's pay for this, then we'll buy some real food."

John shook himself out of that line of thought. It would drive him crazy wondering what he was forgetting. Oh well, it will come to him, eventually. At least he hoped it would.

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Aeryn already hated this frelling planet. She was due to meet Kraine in less than an arn, and all she had found so far is that there are a lot of peacekeepers around, which makes her job twice as difficult.

All she wanted now was to find food and sleep. Unfortunately, both were going to be hard to acquire. The food because everything she thought of made her want to vomit, and the sleep would be light and disturbed, due to the fact she didn't trust Kraine in her world, or John in her dreams. He would call that a double whammy.

Fighting an uphill battle, Aeryn blocked John from her thoughts. In a rare moment of weakness, she would catch herself talking to him in her head, like he was really there. She laughed a little at that, now she could be farbot also, how fitting.

She wondered vaguely if this separation was driving her crazy. But she was starting to come to a realization; the pain wasn't going away. John was out of sight, but definitely not out of mind. If anything, his memory was sneaking up on her more frequently. In a stranger's walk, voice, or mannerism, it would make her freeze and take her breath away. It was distracting her, which was dangerous. Well, she thought, she would just have to be stronger.

"Any luck Sun?" Kraine questioned, interrupting her thoughts.

"You're early."

"Yeah, well, these frellniks don't know anything. Let's go eat, and we'll discuss our next course of action."

Aeryn's stomach tightened at the thought of food, but she knew she needed to keep her strength up for the mission. "Fine, let's go."

They made their way to a bar that also offered lodgings above. It was a dark, seedy place, but they needed to keep a low profile, and they had very little currency.

"You get the room, and I'll bring up some food," Kraine said as he walked toward the bar.

Aeryn was getting really tired of being ordered around by him. She hadn't realized until now, how much she had gotten accustomed to being treated as an individual. The crew of Moya always valued and respected her opinion. Here she was treated as a solider, left out of the planning stage. How odd, wasn't that what she had wanted?

Going up to the front desk, she asked for a room and made sure to get one with two beds. That was one thing Kraine didn't understand. The third solar day after she had joined up with the ex-peacekeepers, Kraine had approached Aeryn about recreating. Being completely repulsed by the idea, she may have rejected Kraine a little too harshly. Which might have something to do with the attitude of superiority he now gets around her. She wasn't here to make friends. Friends, where did that come from, shaking her head she went in search of Kraine.

She found him and tossed him the key. "I'm going for a walk." She wasn't hungry anymore.

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John was in awe watching Jena barter for food. The woman was quick and used every trick in the book. This was the last stop. They had about an hour worth of daylight left, then they were going to head back to the beach with their supplies.

John wandered to the next stall, while Jena worked her magic. The owner of this stall was about his height, but was definitely not sabacean. He was covered in pink fur and looked like the possible offspring from the Easter Bunny and Alf.

John was glancing at all the jewelry the owner was selling, when something caught his eye. It was an antique locket. John reached down and picked it up. Turning it over in his hands he opened it, and was hit with a strong sense of déjà vu. Just then, the owner reached over the stall and grabbed him by the neck, lifting him off the ground.

"I no like peacekeepers." The alien grunted as he squeezed John's neck.

John helplessly kicked his feet, searching for the ground. Just as quickly as he had been lifted up, he was dropped.

Recovering his breath, he looked up just in time to see a spike slip out of Jena's wrist and shoved under the owner's chin. "He's not a peacekeeper," she stated in a deadly calm voice. Jena shoved the alien and he fell to his knees. She turned to John and asked if he was all right.

"How James Bond was that!" John managed to get out through his tender throat, with a big grin on his face.

"Frell John, I can't turn my back for one second. Take a good look around, because this is your last trip to the market. I can't protect you here. And you seem to have no fighting abilities or common sense for that matter. So until your memory comes back, you're staying at the beach."

"But what if it never comes back?... I'm not spending my whole life trapped in The Blue Lagoon. Even if it is with my very own Brook Shields, including the nudity." John argued.

"We'll talk about this later." Ending the discussion, she shoved some supplies into his arms.

Following Jena, John started the trek to the beach. As he was nearing the seedier part of town, the hairs on the back of his neck stood up, as did the rattlers in his stomach start going full force. He looked at Jena walking along in front of him, then paused and glanced around. There was a repair garage on his left and a hotel/bar on his right. Since it was getting late, not many people were on the street.

Looking around, John tried to pinpoint what was causing his uneasiness. Finally, he noticed the door to the hotel open and out stepped a woman wearing what Jena had referred to as peacekeeper leathers. He was immediately taken by her beauty and rooted in place.

Jena, noticing the lack of footsteps behind her, turned to see what new alien object had captivated his attention.

Spotting the woman, Jena grabbed John pulling him the rest of the way out of the market. John looked at Jena with a puzzled expression once they reached the beach. "What was that about?"

"Peacekeeper," Jena stated forcefully. "Stay away from her. She's dangerous."

"OK, you're the boss. But, honestly, how tough can she be? I could take her." He joked with a little grin.

Jena looked John up and down, then gave him a little wink, "Oh yeah, you could take her," and with that, headed up the beach to the hut. Leaving John wondering if he should be insulted or aroused.

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As Aeryn stepped out of the hotel, she took a look at her surroundings. Aeryn had taken up walking at night. A routine started on the lonely nights after John had died, when her greatest fear was an empty bed.

Pausing on the step, Aeryn suddenly felt as if she was being watched. Not wanting to attract attention, she slowly removed her pulse pistol and searched for the source of her anxiety.

Finding nothing out of the ordinary, the odd feeling slowly dissipated. Aeryn continued her walk staying aware of her surroundings, while wondering what just happened. The feeling seemed familiar to her, but for some reason she couldn't pinpoint the cause.

She returned to the hotel just as the last rays of the setting sun disappeared below the horizon, plunging the town into darkness.

Making her way into the room, she acknowledged Kraine with a curt nod. He was sitting at the table in the corner eating food cubes. She glanced at him and made her way over to the bed.

"I saved you some food cubes and raslak, since you were out tralking around. " Kraine raised his own bottle of raslak to his lips.

Aeryn glared at him and picked up a handful of food cubes. That's just what she needed, an intoxicated Kraine on her hands.

"I saw Jena today in the marketplace." Kraine slurred out in-between gulps of raslak. "She was with some sabacean male."

"Nice to see she's still a slut," Aeryn spit out trapped in a painful memory.

Aeryn was worn out, and all she wanted to do was lie down. All the stress must finally be catching up with her, she thought.

But Kraine wasn't going to let this go. "Well, what's wrong with that? At least she's not an uptight, moody, frigid bitch."

"Excuse me!" Aeryn exclaimed eyes flaring with rage.

"You heard me." Kraine roared standing up on shaky legs. "You've been pulling this superior bitch routine, and I'm sick of it. I demand that...that you recreate with me."

"Demand?!" Aeryn was momentarily stunned into silence. Then channeling all of her repressed anger, she let him have it.

"You want me to recreate with you! You! You have got to be kidding me." She looked at him incredulously. "You have no respect for me. You don't know me. You have no idea what I've done. I have fought for this frelling universe. Lost and sacrificed so much for the greater good of the sabacean race. I have met a man that has surpassed anything you could ever hope to accomplish. A man stronger and more superior than you will ever be, so DO NOT think that for one microt I would EVER recreate with you!"

Moving quickly to the bathroom, she paused as she got to the door. "I am going to take a very long shower, and when I come out I don't want to hear another word from you. I just want to sleep." And with that Aeryn stepped into the bathroom and slammed the door.

Kraine was still standing there in a stunned stupor when she exited the bathroom a half-arn later. Well, at least I shut him up, Aeryn thought. Falling onto the bed, she sank into a restless sleep immediately.

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Placing their purchases in the hut, Jena turned to John. "Oh frell, I forgot to buy a couple of things from the market."

Turning around to head back up the beach, she threw over her shoulder. "I'll be back in less than an arn. If you don't get into trouble, I'll bring back a special desert."

John watched Jena go. He decided that he needed to repay her for all that she had done the last few weeks. He turned over a couple ideas, but finally settled on making her a gourmet meal of grilled crab-like critter. Of course, he would first have to catch the crab-like critter, but really how hard could it be.

Finally, 45 long minutes later he had a fire going and one giant crab-like critter cooking over it.

"Well if it isn't Suzie shop-a-lot. Did you have fun princess?" John asked as Jena approached the hut.

Ignoring John's confusing comment, she glanced at the crab cooking over the fire. "You've been busy."

Sitting by the fire, John glanced up, "Isn't she, he, it, whatever.... a beaut?"

"I've seen bigger." Jena replied taking in John's appearance. He had stripped down to his boxers due to the heat of the fire and was covered in a fine sheen of sweat. Jena immediately felt over-dressed.

"Ah honey, didn't anyone ever tell you size doesn't matter." John retorted in his most charming southern accent.

"Only those trying to compensate. But I don't believe you're in that category, are you?" Jena commented innocently, then quickly ducked into the hut leaving John with a suspicious look on his face pondering her last comment.

Jena returned two microts later just as realization was dawning in his eyes. "You looked! I...I was unconscious and you LOOKED. That is just so wrong on so many levels."

His outburst trailed off as he took in what Jena had changed into. He wasn't sure what it was technically called, but his mind quickly supplied it as a fuck-me outfit. The top was a thin tight white tube that was pretty much see- through. The white skirt was long, sitting low on her slim hips, and had two slits that went all the way up both legs. The white material not only enhanced her tanned skin, but left very little to the imagination. John was starting to see where this night was heading.

Jena kneeled down in front of John with unbridled lust in her eyes. Yup, John thought, I'm in trouble. John was absently reminded of a snake, coiling, preparing to strike. And strike she did.

Crawling slowly towards John, Jena purred out. "Did you really expect me to sleep next to you smelling like dren? You needed a bath, so I gave you one. It's not like you've got anything I haven't seen before, or enjoyed for that matter."

John watched Jena advance. As she strategically placed a hand on the sand in between his legs, he was hit with another brief moment of déjà vu. But warm lips on his neck brought him back to the moment.

His last thought as Jena pushed him back onto the soft white sand, was there must be something seriously wrong with him. For a beautiful woman in a tight white fuck-me dress was pouncing on him, and all he could think about was smooth black leather.

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Kraine tensed as he listened for the source of the sound that woke him up. Trying to concentrate through the raslak-induced hangover, he discovered the sounds were coming from the bed next to him. Straining, he tried to focus on the words escaping Sun's lips.

Aeryn was having a wonderful dream of John doing intoxicating things to her body. His name tasted sweet as it passed over her lips on a breathy moan. The moment was perfect, so perfect. But the dream faded too soon, and Aeryn whimpered as it turned into the last moments with John on Talyn.

Forced to experience the worst arn of her life again, she was unable to escape the pain. Then just as quickly, the room on Talyn merged into the hanger bay on Moya. She fought against the nightmare, knowing the scene that was about to unfold would rip out her heart. She didn't know if she'd survive it again. Rebelling against the pain that was about to come, she willed herself to wake up, but ended up losing the battle miserably.

Kraine watched in rapped fascination as Sun called out for a man named John. Seeing the pleasure on her face confirmed his belief that Sun was holding out on him. It looked as if she had at least one good frell in her life.

Pondering this new piece of information almost caused him to miss the change of emotion on her face. The pain on her face equaled the passion that was in its place microts ago. Only now instead of moaning, she was whimpering. He could just barely make out the tears sliding down her cheeks, glistening in the moonlight from the window. Captivated, he was startled as he heard her start pleading in a voice he would have never associated with Sun.

Aeryn realized that she couldn't escape the dream. Forced to watch John walk out of her life, unable to intervene. In an anguished voice, she called out what she had been too afraid to admit when it mattered.

"Please Crichton," she whispered, her resolve breaking too late. She saw him continue to walk out of the hanger, as she watched herself kick the crates.

"Crichton! Don't leave me. I need you. Please," she begged. But her words were lost in the darkness.

Growing up as a peacekeeper, Kraine had been taught to control and moderate emotional responses, as had all peacekeepers. He had never witnessed such raw pleasure or pain in any sabacean, much less an ex-peacekeeper. He was intrigued, to say the least, and something about the name she called out was tugging at his memory. But it was a little hazy due to the alcohol, and he decided to investigate it at a later time. Meanwhile, he would definitely have to ask Sun about this in the morning.

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John Crichton was lying upon warm white sand with a gorgeous woman curled up on his chest, contemplating his sexual ability. It should have been fabulous, John thought. She's hot, she's talented, and she's here. I'm a guy. It should have been perfect.

He felt Jena stir, stretching like a cat, making sure every inch of her body rubbed up against his. "You're thinking again," she purred running her hand down his chest. "You're the only species I know that can get distracted during sex."

Great, John thought, she noticed his lack of enthusiasm. Well, he could always fake it. John chuckled as he had an image of Meg Ryan in a diner. Definitely make that a last resort.

"We could give it another try. See if I can't provide a better distraction, " Jena suggested moving her hand lower.

"Um, Jena I have sand in places I didn't think it was possible to reach. Another round with the talented Ms. Chatto might just make it a permanent addition."

John inwardly cringed, waiting for her response. He was pretty sure Jena had never been rejected before. But he didn't think he could deal with the odd sensation of betrayal he experienced during sex with Jena again.

John glanced down to see Jena's pensive face. "Hey gorgeous, why don't you go hang out under the waterfall, and I'll bring you breakfast. I seem to remember some type of eggs around here. I'll whip us up an omelet."

Jena glanced up and looked at John. For a second, she let her guard down, and he thought he saw a glimpse of the real Jena. Seeming to settle on something, she gave John a quick kiss and stood up, and was once more the Jena he had come to know. "I didn't catch all the details, but I'll say yes to the food."

Raking her eyes once more over John's nude body, she gave him a devilish smile. "I'm simply ravenous. You can wear a girl out."

Jena made her way to the waterfall and cleaned up, as John cooked breakfast. After they finished the meal, Jena departed to go on her daily market trip. Shopping, the universal constant. He wondered briefly what she did there all day. The odd thing is she rarely came back with any purchases. John decided to ask her about that tonight.

Meanwhile, John had no idea how he was going to rebuff a gorgeous and willing woman every night in paradise. Shit, something was seriously wrong with him.

John went to work doing what he had done every day for the past week. Playing with Farscape 1, and wondering what the hell kind of components were installed on his baby.

Jena paused as she got to the path that led to the market. Looking back, she could see John beginning to work on his module. John Crichton, the only man that had ever treated her as a unique, cherished individual. Frell, what she was about to do could screw everything up. Grinning, she thought, that's what makes it interesting. Jena was on a new mission.

************************************************************************

Aeryn awoke from another restless night of sleep. She was exhausted and for a moment wondered if sleeping didn't wear her out more than strengthen her. She always woke up drained from the memories. His hands, mouth, body, death. She hated the frelling night.

Glancing at the window, she noticed it was before dawn. She entertained trying to go back to sleep, but figured it was pointless. "Frell this," she muttered under her breath, as she flung the sweat-soaked covers off her body and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She automatically pulled on her leather pants and vest, then snapped her pulse pistol into its holster.

Unaware of the eyes watching her intently, she jumped as Kraine cleared his throat. Her eyes snapped to the small table in the corner of the room. There Kraine set, shrouded in shadows, taking in all of her actions. She chose to ignore him as she pulled on her boots, wondering what he remembered of their conversation last night. She hadn't meant to say as much as she had. Her face burned as she remembered the detail in which she had talked about her life, about John. Pissed once again, she grabbed her jacket and made her way to the door.

Kraine was watching Sun's face as she seemed to be involved in an internal conversation. Making a decision, he decided to ask the questions that had plagued him since his earlier observation. He doubted she would answer, but maybe he could get some kind of reaction from her.

Seeing her move to the door he spoke up, "Sleep well?"

Aeryn paused and impatiently spit out, "That's none of your business".

Expecting some sort of rebuff, Aeryn was surprised when she was only met with silence. Turning slightly, she saw him staring at her. She absently noted he was running his thumb over his lips. Frell. For some reason the look in his eye was making her nervous.

"Not to pry," he started with a smirk, "but you talk a lot in your sleep."

Aeryn felt herself tense as she started connecting the dots. Controlling the panic, she covered her anxiety with anger. "What are you talking about?"

Kraine noticed her whole body become rigid and his curiosity won out. Some things were worth dying for. Risking his life he dove in. "You called out for someone named John. That must have been one hezmana of a frell."

Watching her for a reaction, he prepared himself for the worst. He immediately saw her face blanch, as the muscles along her jaw rhythmically begin to clench in time with her hands.

Seething with restrained fury, Aeryn replied in a menacing voice. "What I dream about is NONE of your concern." Then almost as an after thought added. "And it does not leave this room." She held Kraine's gaze for a microt before jerking open the door.

"Where are you going? It's not even light out!" Kraine demanded.

Aeryn didn't even pause as she stalked out the door. "I need fresh air."

Kraine watched her retreating back with a puzzled expression on his face. Fresh air? The air is fine in here.

Aeryn returned an arn later after she was sure she could see Kraine without killing him. She had never felt so exposed as she stood in that hotel room with Kraine. Knowing he had observed her, discovered her secrets, made the bile rise up in her throat. Bastard. He took one more piece of her. Of John. She was going to be sick.

She found Kraine sitting at the table in their room, finishing up a conversation with base. Turning to her, he began to fill her in on what he had found, wisely ignoring their earlier conversation.

"I informed the base that we identified Chatto in the city. I ran into a local at the bar who recognized her description. He said she comes to the market at the same time everyday. I figured, we still have an arn until she usually shows up, according to when I saw her yesterday."

"Fine. Let's get a bite to eat." Aeryn said as she exited the room without waiting for a reply.

A bite to eat? Kraine thought, following her out the door. Who the frell talks like that? He was getting more and more intrigued by Sun.

************************************************************************

Half an arn after the time Jena usually shows up at the market, Aeryn and Kraine were inconspicuously perusing the stalls.

Aeryn cringed slightly as she saw a stall selling crackers. Halting that train of thought, Aeryn muttered, "Crackers don't matter."

As she turned to ask Kraine how reliable his source was, Aeryn heard that frelling voice.

"Why Officer Aeryn Sun, so lovely to see you again." Jena glanced at Kraine who had walked up to stand next to Sun. "And isn't it nice to see you've moved on so quickly."

That was all it took to push Aeryn over the edge. Jena's head snapped to the side as Aeryn's fist connected with her jaw.

Kraine stood speechless, trying to figure out what was going on. He hated being left in the dark. Finally coming to his senses he yelled, "What the frell is going on?!" Both women ignored him, which angered him even more. "You two know each other?!" He still got no response. "Sun, you know the target?!"

Jena, smiled rubbing her chin. "Good to see that fighting isn't one of your strengths." Jena paused gauging Aeryn's reaction to her words.

Seeing the hate in her eyes, Jena decided to go in for the kill. "And since you protected John so well the first time around," Jena began sarcastically. "I thought maybe I should try and protect him from now on."

Aeryn didn't even think as blind rage took over. Aeryn reared back and punched her so hard, Kraine was sure Jena's jaw broke. Then sweeping Jena's legs out from under her, Aeryn pinned Jena's neck to the ground with her boot. All the while Jena playing the part.

Smirking, Jena was getting the reaction she had hoped for, pure rage. In the back of her mind, Jena expected nothing less. John didn't like weak women.

Aeryn glared at her with fierce protectiveness radiating off her in waves. For a moment, Jena didn't know if Aeryn wanted to kill her, or burst into tears.

"You have NO IDEA what you are talking about," Aeryn finally managed to get out through clenched teeth. Her tone left no room for dispute, and Jena was pretty sure one word and Aeryn would snap her neck.

Another moment passed in slow motion as Aeryn pressed down a little harder, then turned around and marched away, head held high, back ramrod straight.

Kraine was standing there looking at Sun's retreating back for the second time that day. Glancing down at Jenavia Chatto, he noticed the smirk on her face. "I don't know why you're so happy. She is going to kill you."

Jena just looked at Kraine, smiled, and sauntered away. Absently wondering, what was so captivating about Aeryn Sun to men?

Kraine ran after Aeryn as she stalked through the market. "Sun, what was that all about?" he asked as he finally caught up with her.

Continuing to ignore him, Aeryn picked up her pace as she neared the end of the market. He has to find out what is going on now. They not only just let a target get away, but Sun knew her the whole time.

Trying one last tactic, Kraine said in his best peacekeeper voice "Officer Aeryn Sun."

Aeryn stopped in her tracks, what the frell was he doing screaming her name in a marketplace filled with peacekeepers. For the love of Cholok!

When she didn't turn around Kraine continued "I demand answers. Right Now!"

Aeryn Sun slowly turned around shooting daggers from her eyes. "You DEMAND answers?"

When he didn't answer, Aeryn realized this was not accomplishing anything. "Later. Right now go follow Jena, but don't kill her yet. I'll meet you at the hotel in an arn."

Kraine opened his mouth to argue, but decided that would probably lead to certain death. "OK, then, I'll go follow Jena and meet you in an arn. I'm leaving now."

Getting out of there as quickly as possible Kraine headed back to where he had last seen Jena. As he left, he idly wondered what it meant that all he wanted to do was get away from those eyes. He was starting to think all Sun ever felt was anger and rage.

************************************************************************

Aeryn had been napping for the arn she had the room to herself. Kraine was really starting to irritate her. He reminded her of the Vork that Chiana and Dargo brought aboard Moya. Always following her, wanting to know what she was doing. Well at least he hadn't attached himself to her leg yet, though she wasn't ruling it out.

She hadn't meant to fall asleep, but she had just been so drained lately with all the stress and emotional suppression. Oh yeah she was a mental head case, as John would say. Grimacing she pushed that thought away.

She couldn't waste her precious sanity thinking about John. That inevitably lead to what Jena had said, which then lead to her inexcusable failure. Both of them gone... as if failing John once wasn't enough. She went and did it again. Stop, she thought, no more.

Realizing it was time to meet Kraine she made her way down to the front of the hotel.

"You look like dren," Kraine replied when she arrived at the front of the hotel.

"I feel like dren," she countered without humor.

"Let's get a drink, and I'll tell you what I found out. IF you tell me what the hezmana is going on."

Aeryn weighed her options for a moment until she decided it was a risk she had to take. With a quick nod they moved over to the bar and Kraine ordered two bottles of fellip nectar. Aeryn picked it up to take a swig, but as soon as the smell of the intoxicant hit her nose, she wanted to vomit.

"I'll stick to water," she said taking a few deep breaths. "Did you track her?"

"Yeah, she seems to be living in some hut on the beach with that same sabacean male that I saw her with at the market."

Great, now they have to assassinate two people. Her day just kept getting better and better, she thought derisively.

"Why didn't you tell me you knew Jenavia Chatto?"

"Was it really relevant? I had no idea where she was, or what she was doing. It would not have changed anything, if I had volunteered that information."

"Okay, what's your real name?"

Aeryn rolled her eyes. She was assuming Kraine had been deep in the Uncharted Territories for a long time like Larraq, or else he would have connected the pieces earlier. Especially after Jena's comments and her vocal dream. And this man used to be a peacekeeper, she thought shuddering.

"Ex-Officer Aeryn Sun, I tend to leave the Aeryn out when I tell people. It was my mother's name." Aeryn had never been good at lying and she knew he'd figure it out eventually. But she wanted a little more peace before the game was up.

"Hmm, and this John that Jenavia mentioned. Is he the same John you were frelling in your dream? Were you his tralk?" Kraine had realized that as harsh as Sun was, she wouldn't kill him. So he pushed. He wanted some frelling answers.

Aeryn was getting tired of this line of questioning real quick and anger was obviously not making Kraine back off. Fine, she'd try another tactic.

"No, actually I was his grunt." She stated calmly looking him in the eyes.

Kraine started choking on his fellip nectar. Clearing his throat he managed to say with a grin. "You. I seriously doubt that."

Aeryn glanced away, and for a moment Kraine saw Aeryn with her guard down. The Aeryn that had captivated him last night as she dreamed about this mystery man named John. He was probably a peacekeeper, anyone less wouldn't have survived the wrath of Sun.

Feeling his eyes on her, Aeryn turned back towards him, the mask back in place. "We can finish the job this afternoon and be out of here by sunset. I want off this frelling planet." Standing up, she headed toward the door. "I'll get the weapons."

A quarter of an arn later they were ready to head to the beach. As she followed Kraine along the path, her mind wondered to another man who always let her go first. And he looked better in peacekeeper leathers. Shut the frell up. Where did that come from? Focus on something else. Like the rattlers that were going full force in her stomach for some reason. Wonderful.

As the path left the market, it narrowed into a sandy trail, winding through palm trees. It was warm, but thankfully not uncomfortable. She didn't know if she could handle heat delirium on top of the nausea and rattlers.

As they got farther down the path, the rattlers got impossibly worse. Every instinct Aeryn relied on was screaming at her to run. Only this time, it wasn't telling her to run away, but something was pulling her forward. She glanced at Kraine to see if he sensed anything. Noticing her look, he slowed down as they rounded a curve in the path, which lead them parallel with the beach. Aeryn stepped up next to Kraine and got her first glance down the beach.

Time seemed to stand still as Aeryn stood frozen, holding her breath. Feeling the urge to pass out, she fought to control her breathing. As soon as Kraine saw her, he started up with his annoying habit of asking questions.

"What? What's wrong? It's just some old, junked ship. It's probably abandoned. No one would fly such a primitive module."

Looking farther down the beach, Kraine continued. "The hut is about 200 metras down the beach, sheltered by trees."

Kraine was looking back and forth between Aeryn and the module, when something caught his eye. "Oh wait, there's someone in the module. If we want to take Jenavia out, we need to get rid of him. He's in our way."

Kraine had never seen Aeryn react so fast. "No. You continue on the mission. I'll take care of this."

Aeryn didn't even wait for a reaction, but headed straight towards the module. Kraine stood grounded in the same spot, then headed after her as his curiosity won out. Well, she may need back up, he told himself, as he quietly followed her.

Aeryn could see the back of John's head as she approached him from behind. He was sitting in the cockpit, fiddling with the controls. The module looked like it had seen better days, and she absently wondered what happened to it.

Aeryn was having trouble controlling all of her emotions. So many thoughts and feelings were racing through her mind. Nearing the module, she couldn't pick an emotion to go with. She felt anger, passion, fear, love, and more, for this man in front of her. Drinking in the sight of him, Aeryn felt the emotions warring within her heart for dominance.

As a warm wind started playing with the strands of her hair, she listened as it carried the voice she had craved for so long. "I've been working on the railroad, all the live long day. Hmm, hmm, hmm..."

Pausing, Aeryn allowed herself a moment to let John's beautiful silky voice engulf her. Dear Goddess, she'd missed him. Not wanting to startle him, especially since he probably had Wynona close by, she began with a line only Crichton could appreciate.

"Hey." She paused, collecting herself. Then continuing in a restrained voice. "Still wasting energy on that old bucket of dren?"

The musical voice caused an uncontrollable grin to bloom on John's face. He looked up and took in the woman approaching the side of his module. Struck with another sense of déjà vu, he stared into her blue eyes, still smiling.

Slowly licking his lips, John remembered a sweet kiss, like molasses. Then the realization of who she was came to him like a lighting bolt. He leapt out of the cockpit as fast as he could, and before he could say a word, she started talking.

"What the FRELL do you think you're doing here?!" Aeryn demanded. Her anger quickly overshadowing any other emotion she had been feeling. "You do not control fate John Crichton." Raving, she avoided his eyes to block the pain she knew would inevitably be there.

"You think you can just come here and make it better?" Absently shaking her head, she continued in a drained voice. A voice that betrayed just how eternally painful this situation was.

Sometimes she wondered how many times they would put themselves through this. "I just can't do this now. You can't fix this John."

Looking towards the sea, eyes shining with unshed tears, she whispered, "I can't fix this." Lost in her own thoughts, she didn't notice that John was slowly backing away.

She turned her head back to John, her eyes finally seeking his. Noticing a panicked look was clearly written on his face, Aeryn whipped her head around to find the cause. Seeing Kraine behind her, she let out the breath she'd been holding, figuring he was the source of John's panic.

Looking back at John she explained. "Don't worry, that's just Kraine. He's one of the ex-peacekeeper assassins."

It was at that moment, looking into John's eyes without her own pain clouding her vision, that she realized something was seriously wrong.

Somewhere deep down inside a burning fear started working its way into her heart. Her second worst nightmare was confirmed as John began to speak. And as she stood there, her world fell apart, all over again.

"Look lady, my mind's a little scrambled right now. I don't know anything about you, except that you're a peacekeeper." John said raising his hands in a surrendering gesture.

He continued to back away, putting the module in between himself and the woman. "Whatever I did that's got you so...ah, pissed off... I'm sorry."
John stumbled over the words as he tried to articulate the emotion on the woman's face.

Glancing behind him down the beach, he prayed Jena would appear from the hut. As if by magic, he heard Jena's voice.

"John, I'm back." She called out as she strolled down the beach towards him.

John let out the breath he'd been holding, as he turned back to the woman, only to find her gone. Okay, John thought, maybe the whole thing was a dream. Scanning the beach, he didn't find any trace that someone had been there.

Shrugging, he turned back to Jena as she walked towards him. He decided not to tell her about this little incident for a while. She tended to get freaked out about things that concerned him. He figured if the woman had been as dangerous as Jena had said, he would be dead. No, he thought, he didn't see hate in her eyes, but something else. A deep sorrow seemed to be radiating off her, and he sadly wondered if he had caused that pain.

"John, are you alright?" Jena questioned, interrupting his thoughts.

"Right as rain." John grinned as he hooked his arm around her waste. "What do you say to a fabulous game of Sharks and Minnows?" Stripping his shirt and pants off, he scooped up Jena and headed for the water. Damn, he thought, this déjà vu thing is really starting to get annoying.

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Aeryn could feel the precious walls she'd built crumble to her feet. As she watched John and Jena, she knew this wasn't some sick joke. She saw it in his eyes. He had no idea who she was. And to top it off, Jena was helping him.

Aeryn had seen how comfortable and trusting John was with Jena. The image of John carrying her into the water was forever burned on her heart. Frell. Frell. Frell. When John died, Aeryn didn't think she could ever feel that kind of pain again. But she was wrong.

She had hoped maybe talking would jog his memory. But that option soon disappeared as she heard that frelling voice again. Of all the people John, why Jena? Now she would not only have to worry about John's mental state, but his safety also.

She imagined herself trying to explain to the assassins, that they can't kill the target, because the target's caring for her alien ex-lover. Yeah, that's going to go over real well. She had to sit down, immediately.

Kraine saw Aeryn slump to the ground and the pieces finally started falling into place. John Crichton and Aeryn Sun, frell he was an idiot. "You're Aeryn Sun. The Aeryn Sun. You blew up a Gammack base, a shadow depository, A COMMAND CARRIER. For frell's sake, why didn't you say anything? You could have gotten control of the assassins group. Dren, they would have begged you to take over. Do you KNOW how revered you are in the ex-peacekeepers' resistance groups? Frell, in any resistance groups? You're like our hero. You and John Crichton."

Had Aeryn been in her right mind, she probably would have laughed at Kraine's obvious hero-worshiping. Dren, was he in for a big disappointment.

"Shut the frell up Kraine." Aeryn got out in a defeated voice. She couldn't do this. Not right now, maybe not ever. But in true Kraine fashion, he wasn't going to let this go. At least, not without some confirmation.

"But if that was John Crichton, why didn't he know you?" Surprisingly, Kraine asked in a somewhat compassionate tone. And Aeryn realized maybe Kraine did know how bad this was. Frell, he heard her whimpering John's frelling name in her dreams. Of course, he had put some of the pieces together. Standing up, Aeryn began to explain.

"I don't know... But Jena's helping him. We can't take her out yet." Aeryn screwed up her courage as she delivered the next line. "You have to tell base, she left or that we already killed her. I'm out. I can't leave him like this. I've got to find out what's going on. He needs her. He...I need..."

Aeryn stopped as she felt her precious control slipping again. Pushing it down, her stomach heaved, reminding her she hadn't eaten today.

Kraine realized whatever had happened between Aeryn Sun and John Crichton, was tearing her apart. He was determined to find out the whole story, but realized now was not the time. Keeping quiet, he waited for her to continue.

"Listen, I need to find out what Jena is up to. In the past, she's been involved in..." Exasperated, Aeryn stopped for a moment to collect her thoughts.

"Look, this whole thing is really complicated. I don't know how much you know about the coming war, but a lot of people I know could get hurt. I have to find out what's going on, and if they've done something to John." Aeryn finished looking up at Kraine.

Kraine's head was reeling. One moment he was on a routine assassin mission, the next he was working with Aeryn Sun, rumored to be one of the only people with knowledge of the impending war. He still couldn't believe that one of the people responsible for the possible death of Scorpius was standing in front of him.

Kraine decided in that moment, Sun was going to need help. And he was just the ex-peacekeeper to help her. Who knows, he thought, maybe he'll be listed in the history books as someone who helped Aeryn Sun. Coming to that decision he asked, "What do you need me to do?"

Aeryn blinked, "What do you mean? You're going to head back up to base, and tell them you killed Jena. End of story. I don't need any help. I have to do this by myself."

"Do you know how many peacekeepers are roaming this planet? If you tail Jena, who is going to keep an eye on Crichton? And what happens if you get into trouble? I haven't seen the Luxan or Nerbari that you are rumored to travel with. You need my help."

"The frell I do," Aeryn shouted angrily.

"I want to help."

"You want recognition and fame." Aeryn snapped. "You don't know what you're getting into. That man doesn't mean a thing to you. But he means something to me. I'm not about to let some cocky fame-seeking fool, frell everything up."

"You're all alone. If you want to help him, you're going to need me." Kraine countered.

Aeryn painfully acknowledged the fact that she was indeed alone. John didn't even need her; he had Jena. "Fine. Tomorrow morning, I'll follow Jena. See where she goes everyday. You contact base and tell them whatever you want, as long as it's not the truth. You can't let them come down here. Guard John until Jena comes back, but don't let him see you. And just so you know, this will probably get you kicked out of the assassin group, if not killed."

Kraine thought about that for a microt. Did he care? Frell, this was so much better. "Sounds good. Let's head back to the hotel. You look like dren."

"I'm fine," Aeryn said as she straightened her back and headed down the path back to the hotel. This time Kraine let Aeryn go first. Great, Aeryn thought, now he thinks I'm some kind of goddess.

************************************************************************

As Jena got ready to leave, she glanced at John sprawled out on the bed. The sheets were twisted around his legs, leaving behind the telltale signs of his nightly rituals. The nightmares started coming about a weeken ago, waking her and himself, as he called out for aliens he didn't remember. Frell, John loves Aeryn Sun, even if he can't remember her.

Sighing, she knew something had to be done, she just wasn't sure what. She had already put part of her plan into action, but she wasn't completely confident of its reliability, or rather their reliability. Oh well, Jena thought, what was it John always said 'Hope for the best, plan for the worst'. That's what she'd been doing over the past monen. Of course she hadn't factored Officer Sun in. But she was creative if nothing else, and even managed to work her into the plan.

Feeling eyes on her, she turned to see John yawning on the bed. "Hey. Sleep well?"

John grimaced, "Do you have to ask?"

"They must have been pretty bad last night. What was it this time?" Jena questioned already knowing the answer.

"It was that peacekeeper from the market again. I killed her." John said in a solemn voice.

Jena had no idea why John was dreaming about killing Aeryn Sun. It must be a figurative kind of dream she decided, but it always shook him up. Wanting to lighten the mood, Jena decided on a different strategy.

"Were you attracted to her?" she inquired.

John answered impulsively. "Hell yeah!" Then realizing that might offend Jena he added. "She's hot, in a penal code sort of way."

Jena smirked, "Just checking," she muttered. Then continuing, "I'm heading to the market. Be good. I'll be back by sunset."

Jena left as John got up to go for a swim. Hoping the sea would chase away the images of ice and death, and a million years gone by.

The nightmares were getting worse. The emotions evoked were becoming more intense, and lingering for a longer amount of time. They reminded him of a silent movie. All sights, but no sound. He had to interpret each look and weave them together into a complete story, a life, his life. The woman was the one constant. He could always smell her hair, feel her hands, and taste her lips. He wanted to remember, but something's holding the memories back, some unseen wall.

As he feels the water lap around him, swallowing him, he allows his mind to drift. Colors swirl around in technicolor. Blue, red, white, green, and gold. Always coming back to cool black. His anchor.

************************************************************************

Kraine was concerned. Aeryn had gone into full-soldier mode. She responded in curt monosyllables, and refused to explain any of her strategies. She looked worse this morning, than he had ever seen her. He knew for a fact she had no more than two arns of sleep last night, which were filled with gut-wrenching screams and tears. This morning she looked like she was going to pass out. He hoped she would be able to keep up with Jena.

"I'm leaving," Aeryn stated. Kraine jolted in his chair, startled after growing accustomed to the silence. Aeryn moved to the door.

"If I'm not back by tomorrow, then I'm dead." Keeping her back to Kraine, Aeryn's voice dropped. "Protect him."

Aeryn cringed as she delivered her next bit of advice, but finally turned to look Kraine in the eye. "If anything happens, contact Jena. She'll help."

Kraine saw the look in Sun's eyes. "I will, with my life."

Aeryn gave a curt nod and was gone. Dren, Kraine thought, this was getting complicated.

Aeryn was barely functioning. She felt like dren, and was pretty sure she had an elevated body temperature. Frell, she did not need this now. Running on adrenalin, Aeryn didn't know if she was going to be able to do this. No, she thought, failure is not an option. Not this time. She would save John, if it got her killed in the process.

As Aeryn exited the hotel, she went over the plan in her head. Follow Jena, heal John, kill Jena, kill John. Okay, maybe that wasn't exactly the plan, but dren, that's what she felt like doing. Frelling human, I just keep coming back.

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As Aeryn was making her way to find Jenavia Chatto, the cavalry had mysteriously arrived on the other side of town.

Muttering Hynerian curses under his breath, Rygel was the first to exit Dargo's ship. Following quickly behind was a cranky Nebari.

Chiana glanced around the docking area and sighed. "It's always something isn't Ryg. His mission was just more important than our's, and he can't even frelling drop us off first."

"I don't get it. How hard can it be to let us off on the way here? But no, YOU couldn't waste your precious time. Frell, we're almost all the way back to where we started." Chiana finished as she turned to Dargo, who was coming down the steps.

"Chiana, if the message we received from the peacekeepers is correct, then Macton Tal is located on this planet," Dargo replied tensely.

"But why would the peacekeepers go to all that trouble to give you the updated location of Macton? It's farbot, Dargo. They don't care if you find Macton, or not." Chiana argued, pissed because she wasn't any closer to finding Nerri.

"Does it really matter? All I need to know is that Macton was placed on this planet. Now, let's go. We're wasting time."

Both Chiana and Rygel were fuming. They had been heading to the planet where Macton was for over a weeken, which just happened to be in the direction of their own destinations. But then they received that frelling message, and Dargo had turned around in a microt, without as much as a glance at them. Now they were no closer to home, and had to join Dargo in his personal crusade.

"Un-frelling-believable," Chiana muttered under her breath.

The coordinates given narrowed down the area they had to search, which included a small town, a forest, and a beach. Deciding on the town first, they cautiously left the docking bay. As they neared the edge of the town, they noticed it was covered with peacekeepers.

Frell, Dargo thought, they were going to have to come back when it was darker and less crowded. Dargo doubted they would find anything at the beach, but didn't want to chance it. Directing them to a small path that wound through the dense palm trees, he led them towards the beach.

As they neared a clearing, Dargo held up his hand, motioning for Chiana and Rygel to stop.

"Stay here."

He slowly pushed aside the palm leaves and glanced down the beach in both directions. Only seeing a harmless hut and a beat up primitive ship in the distance, he waved for Chiana and Rygel to follow him. As they emerged onto the open beach, Chiana noticed the ship.

"That looks an awful lot like Crichton's module." Chiana said with a puzzled expression on her face. "You don't think..."

Rygel's surprised gasp interrupted Chiana, as he pointed a chubby green hand toward the water. "What the frelling yotz is HE doing here?!'

"Frell, this place is crawling with peacekeepers. Why the hezmana would Crichton come here?" Dargo growled.

Chiana looked at the hut. "Maybe he's decided to live here. I mean, it's Crichton we're talking about. He was never going to live permanently on Moya." Looking down at the ground she continued in a guilty tone. "Especially not now that we've left him alone."

"He's not alone. He's got Jool." Chiana and Rygel stared at Dargo, mouths hanging open. "Well, he does. And pilot...Look, you are not going to make me feel guilty for leaving Crichton. I had to go and find Macton. I owe it to Lolan. I don't owe John anything." Dargo argued adamantly.

"Except for your friendship. But that doesn't mean much to you, does it?" Chiana replied moving closer to Dargo, until she was nose to nose.

"You're one to talk. I don't see you staying behind with John."

"At least, I frelling explained that I wanted him to come! You!...You didn't even offer an explanation for why you were deserting him. Just left him to go after something more important. Gee, I'm sure John's feeling the love now." Chiana finished angrily, unconsciously using one of John's expressions.

Rygel was sitting silently on his throne sled, listening to Dargo and Chiana argue over who had failed John Crichton the most. They had all failed him.

"Well, we might as well go talk to him." Rygel declared, ending the escalating dispute.

As the three started to head down the beach, they heard a sound behind them amongst the foliage. Dargo immediately readied his qualta blade, and began searching for the origin of the noise.

"Don't shoot. I'm a friend," came a voice from behind a palm tree.

"Drop your weapon!" Dargo demanded as he saw the man was a peacekeeper.

Kraine looked up with a mixture of anger and awe. Glancing at Chiana and Rygel, he slowly shook his head and a small chuckle escaped his throat.

"Unbelievable, that rumor was true."

"What rumor?" Chiana inquired never dropping her guard.

"The rumor that whenever one of Crichton's crew is in danger, the others always launch a rescue mission. I always thought that was a bit of an exaggeration. I mean, who would risk everyone for a single individual? That's just plain farbot. But here...? I mean how did you know we...he was in trouble?"

Dargo and Chiana exchanged glances. 'We?', what the hezmana was going on.

"Who the frell are you, and what trouble?" Rygel asked, finally breaking into the conversation.

"I'm Kr...a friend. I was just waiting until Crichton's crew mates got here."

Kraine decided that he didn't need to tell them who he was yet. Better to just disappear and not get involved. Though it was hard, he was standing in front of legends. He wanted to talk to them, hear their tales. But now was not the time, he had other things to do, bigger things. But first he needed to tell them a few facts.

"He's apparently not right in the mind at the moment." Kraine stated.

"He has a frelling voice in his head, of course he's not right in the mind!" Rygel exclaimed, the very essence of tact.

Kraine gave Rygel a confused look as he continued. "It seems that he doesn't remember anything about the Uncharted Territories."

"What!?" Three shocked voices yelled in unison. "How do you know this? How do we know this isn't a trap?" Dargo demanded. This just kept getting worse.

Kraine, sensing Dargo's growing anger, tried to pacify him. "Listen, I met him at a bar, and we had a talk. You need to keep an eye on him until...until he gets better." Then Kraine added as an after thought. "You might want to be careful about ambushing him though. He's not used to aliens."

Kraine was giving Aeryn one day. One day to go in, and get the information by herself. For some reason, he felt she needed to do this alone. One day, and then he would tell them the truth.

Dargo turned to Chiana and Rygel to confer. Dargo saw something genuine in Kraine's eyes and decided there was some truth in what he was saying. But Dargo also knew he was holding something back, but figured if John was in their sight, how bad could it be.

Glancing over to Kraine, Dargo found himself looking at an empty space. Dargo growled as he turned toward the ocean to keep an eye on John, who was oblivious to their presence. Frell, what he wouldn't give for Zhaan right now.

"Great, first Dargo needs revenge, and now John needs help. If we have to save Crichton's eema every time he gets into trouble... Hezmana I'll never get home. Frelling human, I am a dominar. I don't look after people, people look after me."

"Stuff it, frog boy." Chiana slapped the back of Rygel's head.

Dargo pondered his options for a moment. "Well, we could always just leave him here. It doesn't look like he's in any danger. Maybe he likes not remembering. It's not like the last three cycles were that kind to him. Look, if he doesn't remember Scorpius, Crais, the aurora chair, the chip, is it really that awful? He's free of all the pain he's gone through out here."

Chiana was already vehemently shaking her head. "Oh no...no... we are not just leaving like this. Dargo, do remember what it was like to be temporarily mind cleansed? A piece of you was taken away, stolen. That's what has happened to John. And not all of it was bad; there were good days on Moya. Frell Dargo, you remember the good days. And what about Aeryn? John loves Aeryn. He needs that."

"Chiana, Aeryn's gone. She left him. Remember? This may have happened for a reason. It may be his destiny." Dargo argued.

"We are not abandoning him again, not like last time." Rygel firmly stated, receiving startled looks of disbelief from his shipmates.

Rygel quickly covered his outburst. "We're already here; we might as well help him. Besides, it's not our choice if he remembers or not. Frell, we don't even know if it can be fixed."

"Be careful Ryg, we might think you care." For once Rygel didn't say anything, and simply stared towards the water wondering what in hezmana they were going to do.

"I say one of us returns to Dargo's ship and tries to locate Moya and contact Jool. The other two will stay here and keep an eye on Crichton. Like Ryg said, we're already here." Chiana replied, staring firmly at Dargo, barring no argument.

Dargo silently assented to the plan, and declared he would be the one to go get the supplies. "I don't trust you two with my ship," he reminded them.

As he readied to leave, Dargo gave implicit instructions not to attempt to talk to John yet. Turning to Rygel, Dargo reminded him. "Remember what he was like the first time he met us."

"Wonderful," Rygel hollered after Dargo. "Leave us with the farbot human."

************************************************************************

As Dargo slowly made his way to his ship, he wondered how they were going to help Crichton. He didn't want to admit this, but he felt like a failure, as a warrior, and a friend. What were they thinking leaving Crichton behind to his own devices? He's never lasted an arn without them, why would this be any different? Frelling human.

Reaching his ship, Dargo climbed inside and activated the console. When he had received the anonymous message with Macton's new location, he had immediately turned around dragging Chiana and Rygel with him in order to reach the new destination. He had felt a moment of guilt, but it was quickly overshadowed by his lust for revenge.

Unfortunately, he had no idea where Moya was now. He just hoped that she would be in com range. Finding a secure channel to Moya, he began to try and contact her.

"Moya, Pilot, this is Dargo. Are you there?" Pausing Dargo listened for a microt. Trying again he said a little more urgently. "Pilot, we need Jool's assistance. Hezmana, is anyone there?"

Dargo went about collecting some supplies they would need, and checked to make sure there was some currency. Knowing it had been a small chance that Moya was still around, Dargo began shutting down the console. As he glanced at the last screen powered on, he noticed a blinking light coming on the edge of the screen.

Dargo was startled as he heard a static filled transmission. "...go...this is...ol...we're...ya...bit...rk...hn...lp."

Dargo didn't understand most of the message, but knew exactly whose voice it was. Snapping on the coms, he tried to contact them. "Jool, this is Dargo. Are you there? Jool, Pilot, answer me."

This time Dargo could hear her a little clearer, and he could definitely hear her scream of joy. "Dargo! We've been trying to track your ship's signal, but there's some sort of peacekeeper shield around this planet. Communication and navigation barely work, and get worse closer to the planet. We had to distance ourselves from it to communicate."

"Why were you looking for us? Moya's not in trouble also, is she?" Dargo questioned as he felt the culmination of his quest getting farther and farther away.

"We were told to find John. What do you mean "in trouble also"? Who else is in trouble?" Jool asked, as her voice grew more panicked with each word.

"Dargo is everything all right?" Pilot interrupted in a concerned tone.

As Dargo opened his mouth to answer, he heard a voice he hadn't heard in almost a cycle. "John, John, John's in trouble."

************************************************************************

The transport pod from Moya arrived in less than half of arn, carrying an annoyed Jool and a psychotic Stark.

As they exited the pod, Stark began chanting under his breath. "Need to find Crichton. Need to find Crichton."

Jool glared at Dargo. "He's been doing that since he appeared in command a weeken ago." Then glaring directly at Stark. "It's becoming increasingly inexcusable. I don't know why he's so insistent about seeing John."

Dargo sighed, resigned to the fact that this was only bound to get worse. Dargo hadn't wanted to explain what was wrong with Crichton over a transmission. Only telling them that John needed medical attention, again.

After explaining how they happened to find John, he tried to explain what was wrong.

"So some man out of nowhere comes and tells you that John has amnesia? And you believe him!?" Jool looked incredulously at Dargo.

"Well, we didn't want to take the chance that he was right, and freak Crichton out by approaching him. Look, you weren't there the first time Crichton met us. It was not an overall enjoyable situation. I seriously doubt us approaching him, as past friends he doesn't remember, would be good for his mental state." Dargo reasoned, trying to explain his actions.

"I can help. I'll go. Show me where he is?" Stark said in a moment of lucid clarity.

Jool glanced at Dargo shrugging. She had seen Stark with Zhaan on her first solar day aboard Moya. She knew he had a gift.

"Why don't you approach him first Stark? See if he really doesn't remember anything of the last three cycles. And then we'll go from there." Jool said going into doctor mode.

Dargo led them from the docking bay toward the edge of the foliage that lined the beach.

Chiana was unexpectantly happy to see Jool and Stark. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Stark was adamant about finding Crichton. So we started looking for Dargo's ship after we lost the module's signal. Why aren't you with your brother?"

Chiana glared at Dargo while answering. "Some people thought THEIR quest was more important than others, and decided they didn't have time to drop anyone off." Chiana concluded.

Jool snickered about to say something else, until Stark's pacing tuned into panic motions. "No time! No time! Must find Crichton, NOW."

Chiana turned to Stark, already having been told the plan. Pointing to the hut she said, "He's over there in front of the hut hanging up his wet clothes."

Stark nodded and took off towards the hut.

Jool muttered under her breath, "I hope this is a good idea. If it's true, then John's state of mind is very tremulous right now."

"Well, if anyone can relate to Crichton on his mental level, it's Stark." Everyone looked at Rygel and frowned.

"Was that supposed to be reassuring Ryg? Cause ya know, not so much," Chiana pointed out.

Rygel harrumphed, and sped farther down the beach.

************************************************************************

Aeryn had been trailing Jena since she saw her leave the hut. A shudder passed through her, as an unwanted image of Jena and John in bed together popped into her mind. No, she couldn't blame him this time. She was the one that had left him, after all. Okay, there might be the other little fact that he doesn't remember that she even exists, but is that really relevant, Aeryn wondered. Of course, it is.

Shaking her head, she refocused her attention as she followed Jena through the market. Aeryn was starting to wonder if Jena was going to do anything other than shop. It had been three arns since she left the hut, and she hadn't talked to anyone unusual.

It wasn't until she saw Jena enter the trees on the opposite side of the market that Aeryn started to think Jena was up to something. Aeryn had to stay a far distance behind Jena, especially because Jena was a highly trained peacekeeper.

She noticed that Jena was following a small path. Not like the one that lead to the beach, but a hidden trail that was easy to miss. As she kept up with Jena, Aeryn realized she was getting tired a little more quickly than usual. She would seriously need to start sleeping better at night.

The trees started to get more and more dense, and she was pretty sure they were going down an incline. The trees were gigantic, covered top to bottom in orange leaves, preventing her from being able to see anything farther than one metra in front of her face. It also kept the sunlight from filtering in, which lowered the temperature. It kept her cool, but played havoc on her eyesight. The entire forest seemed to be alive with shadows, and she had to get closer to Jena to keep up.

Just when she thought this was a hopeless excursion, she saw a tall camouflaged building that seemed to appear out of nowhere. It was covered in vines and looked deserted. Part of one of the walls was starting to erode, while another part of the building had no roof. Her mind immediately provided the necessary warning; this was the perfect place for a secret Gammack base.

As she saw Jena disappear into a door hidden under the vines, Aeryn paused. She really should have backup, but there was no one. Kraine was protecting John, and that was it. Everyone there was. Knowing she had to do this for John, Aeryn took a deep breath to quell the nausea, and slipped quietly through the door. All the while keeping one thought in mind: There was nothing left to lose.

Aeryn was just in time to see Jena slip around a corner, as she entered the building. She noticed there were water stains around the edges of the walls, and an old smell permeating the air.

As she tried to keep up with Jena, she decided that this was a research facility, and it was heavily guarded. Techs were covering the hallway, deeply immersed in whatever they were studying. This explained why there were quite a few peacekeepers on the planet. She should have put it together before now, but her mind was a little preoccupied. Thinking about John Crichton was going to end up getting her killed one day, she idly thought.

Not expecting it to be so soon, Aeryn was surprised when she heard a voice she thought was gone forever. "Why Officer Sun, so good of you to join us." Aeryn turned around as she realized this was going from bad to worse.

Aeryn didn't say anything as she stared into the deadly eyes of Scorpius.

"Sir, we have located..." Braca trailed off as he rounded the corner and noticed who was there. Aeryn noted that he had a shocked look on his face.

Scorpius noticed Braca's expression. "Lt. Braca, it appears Officer Sun has stumbled upon our Gammack base. I imagine Crichton is in the near vicinity, is he not?" He questioned, grinning evilly at the fortunate turn of events.

Aeryn hid her dismay. If Scorpius hadn't known that John Crichton was here, then who the frell was messing with John's mind? And who was Jenavia working for? Aeryn ran through the possibilities quickly in her mind. If she could just convince Scorpius that John wasn't on the planet, she could buy him some time.

"I don't know where Crichton is. In fact, I don't know where any of the crew of Moya are located. We all went our separate ways after we destroyed your command carrier." Aeryn finished smugly.

"You're lying. You know exactly where Crichton is."

"If I knew, I'd tell you. He's screwed up my life. I have no problem screwing up his."

"Lies do not become you, Aeryn Sun. You forget that I know John Crichton's mind. I know what you two mean to each other."

Giving her one last chance to volunteer the information, Scorpius saw the resolute expression on her face. "Very well. I will just have to extract the information myself." Nodding to Braca, two peacekeepers took Aeryn by the arms. "Take her to the chair. I will be there shortly."

Aeryn quelled the panic that started up in her stomach. She remembered what John was like after the chair. How he slowly slipped into insanity because of the chip. She hadn't realized how strong he truly was until Dam-ba-da, and the removal of Harvey. John had been fighting for his sanity all that time. Battling an un-winnable war, in constant pain, every day of his life. She hoped she would be as mentally strong.

As she was dragged deeper into the building, she became more convinced she was never leaving this place. No one knew where she was, and possibly, no one cared.

************************************************************************

Scorpius found Jenavia going over the latest political assessment of the Uncharted Territories. "It seems your talents as a disruptor are falling short these days. Or you're with-holding information."

"What are you talking about Scorpius? I don't have time for mind games." She commented passively, glancing to the left as she saw Braca enter the room.

"Jenavia Chatto, you were assigned here to keep me appraised of the political situation and help with the wormhole research, including John Crichton. Officer Sun is directly connected to John Crichton. It was your responsibility to inform me of her presence the moment you discovered her."

Jena's mind reeled as she processed this information. Frell, this was not good, Jena thought. Covering up her distress, Jena smugly replied. "So, you've finally found Aeryn Sun. I was wondering when you were going to notice she was on the planet."

Jena knew Aeryn Sun wouldn't tell him where John Crichton was. But Scorpius would inevitably find out through the chair, putting Jena's loyalty into question. That wouldn't do. She needed to retain his trust. But first she needed to find out how much he knew. "It is not my job to inform you of every person I run into on the planet. If Queen Novia hadn't discovered I was a peacekeeper, I would not be here in the first place. I am not responsible for your grunt work!"

"Why yes, my grunt work. It is remarkable that the Queen discovered your true identity. How unfortunate for you. And I wonder, who do you think informed the Queen? Would Crichton reveal your true identity in order to protect himself? Or perhaps someone else informed her in order to protect his prey."

"You self-centered egotistical BASTARD! Do you realize how important having a Disruptor on the Royal Planet is?"

"Do YOU realize the integral part that John Crichton plays in the wormhole knowledge that I am trying to acquire?!"

"I still can't believe that he's alive after the Scarren dreadnought incident. I have it on very good authority that he already attained the wormhole knowledge and knows how to use it."

"What Scarren dreadnought incident? Why was I not informed?" Scorpius could feel himself burning through his coolant rod. Growling he asked, "What are you not telling me?"

"Ahh, that's right. You wouldn't have been informed. How unfortunate for you, Scorpius. I forget that your clearance is much lower than mine. Your access is limited, to say the least. Let me be the first to inform you that an entire Scarren dreadnought was successfully obliterated by one single human."

"And yet he still survives. Managing to also destroy MY command carrier, saving High Command from having to personally sabotage my research. It now appears that John Crichton is the most dangerous species of us all."

"What a brilliant assessment Scorpius. You now acknowledge that High Command wants to see you removed from power, but you still fail to realize what all is at stake here.'

"No, Jenavia Chatto, you are the one that fails to realize what is at stake. The whole universe is at risk because of John Crichton, and the stupidity of High Command for trying to negotiate with the Scarrens."

Jena decided she had to take a risk to regain his trust. "Yes, well it just so happens, that I have a certain human, who is currently sleeping in my bed at night."

Scorpius let out a growl, at the same time that his coolant rod popped out.

Gulping down heavy breaths of air, he managed to get out. "What! For how long!? Bring him to me!"

"That would not be a very wise decision right now. He is in a very fragile state of mind. I'm helping him heal." Jena grinned seductively.

"The frell you're helping him heal." Braca muttered under his breath.

"What do you mean heal?" Scorpius growled.

"He has temporarily lost his memory of the Uncharted Territories. Seeing you, I'm afraid, would do more harm than good. And it is his mind you value, isn't it? Damaging that would be...well, unacceptable I would imagine. So you'll just have to wait until he's better. Don't worry I'll take excellent care of him."

And with that Jena swiftly exited the room. Leaving Braca standing in awe. He had never known anyone other than Crichton, or Crais, to stand up to Scorpius.

Scorpius on the other hand was recovering from his over heated rage, and decided it was time to pay Officer Sun a visit, and see if Jenavia Chatto was telling the truth.

************************************************************************

As Stark approached John, he heard him singing and whistling.

"Whistle while you work."

Not wanting to startle him, Stark softly called out his name. "John... I'm here to help."

John quickly looked up from the wet clothes he was hanging, and vaguely recognized the face. "Do I know you? You seem really familiar."

"I'm Stark, a friend. I can help you. Help you."

"Okay, man in the iron mask. How are you gonna help me?"

"Sit. Sit. Sit." Pointing to the sand, he sat on the ground and waited for John to join him.

John felt safe with this stranger, and decided to take the chance. It's not like he was getting any better on his own. "What now?"

"It's okay John, trust me." Stark carefully lowered his forehead toward Crichton, like Zhaan had taught him to do. Focusing all of his energy, he reached out and probed John's mind, searching for the problem.

After what seemed like an eternity to John, Stark pulled away, exhausted.

"Wow, that was...different. So, did you find anything? Am I mentally damaged? Should I give up, start a new life, or what?" John was covering up his nervousness with humor. He didn't know what he'd do if this man, Stark, told him it was permanent. He was vaguely worried that the problem was attributed to hypoxia. In which case, the damage would almost certainly be permanent.

Stark looked at John. "It's you. It's you. Pain overload, blocked out the memories."

"Excuse me?! You mean this is a fucking defense mechanism! Damn, the last three years must have been really bad if I blocked everything." John couldn't believe what he was hearing.

Stark sat silently as John processed this new information.

"So what do I do to get them back?" John asked in a desperate voice.

Stark slowly unbuckled his mask and pulled it away from his face.

"Damn, what the hell is that!? Don't go into the light. Stay away from the light." John joked, trying to comfort himself.

"I may be able to help you with the less painful memories, but the more intense ones will only return in time. Bringing those memories back before you're ready would put you at risk for a mental break down."

"Fabulous, let's get this show on the road."

"Just relax and focus on the light." Stark concentrated the light on John's face, as he helped him deal with the pain that was blocking the memories.

As John stared at the light, scenes slowly played across his memory one by one, as he began remembering the past three years. They seemed to be in a random order, and were concentrated on individuals, rather than events.

First, he saw Moya as he came through the wormhole, and then Pilot. Chiana was next, Dargo, then Rygel. Followed by Stark, Zhaan, and Jool.

Then all the aliens and various creatures he had met came rushing back: Jena, and the whole horrible fiasco on the Royal Planet, the Gammack base with Gilina and the aurora chair, the pathfinder's and Zhaan's death.

He felt his mind struggle against Crais' memory. The traumatic experience with Kaavork and the other John. His mind rebelled as it was forced to remember the person who had hunted him persistently over the last two years, but finally it relented, as every vivid detail of Scorpius came flooding back.

He was assaulted with each memory, as they brought back the pain and hurt that he had been able to escape for a blissful three weeks.

Gasping, John rolled away from Stark, his mind overloaded, trying to assimilate the new memories. The pain weighing down on him was almost too much, and he briefly understood why his mind had blocked all of it. He felt his mind shutting down unable to handle the feelings and emotions. He couldn't breathe. It was so easy to just close his eyes and forget.

John immediately felt Stark at his side, brushing away the tears that were streaming down his face.

"No, no, no, don't fight it John. Relax, and let it come back."

"It's too much, too much pain." John gasped as he fought for breath.

"You're safe. It's all over. Scorpius is gone, you're friends are here. Everything is fine." Stark had witnessed all the memories that John had recovered, but also knew the one person his mind couldn't remember. And apparently so did John.

"I don't understand, that woman from my dreams, the peacekeeper, with long dark hair. Why don't I remember her?" John asked distressed, after he got the pain to a manageable level.

"It just means your mind was not ready for that memory. It will come, in time."

"But what if I never get past that pain!? What if my mind can never except whatever it was that happened with her?" John asked in a panicked voice.

Stark placed a hand on John's shoulder. "When the risk becomes worth it, you'll remember. Rest now."

And with that, Stark headed off to explain the situation to the anxiously waiting crew of Moya, and let them in on one minor detail.

************************************************************************

Aeryn didn't know how long she had been sitting in the aurora chair, waiting for Scorpius, but it felt like arns. The two guards assured her that Scorpius would be arriving shortly. Thank you, that's so much better, Aeryn thought sarcastically. She didn't know if she should be more worried about being driven insane from the chair, or the waiting.

On those dark nights after John returned from the Gammack base, he hadn't spoken much about his experience in the aurora chair. There were moments when she would be waking him up from a horrific nightmare that she caught a glimpse of his torturous experience. After the worst ones, he would sometimes describe them, but never in detail.

Even after they got close on Talyn, he refused to divulge the hidden pain that he went through in the chair. She knew it was because of her. He didn't want her to feel guilt about being injured in the first place. That was so like him, to always think about others first. But now, she was about to learn first hand what horrible atrocities haunted John Crichton while he slept.

She raised her eyes, as she heard footsteps coming down the hallway. A woman peacekeeper, presumably Scorpius' assistant entered first, followed by Scorpius, then Braca. A shiver ran up her spine as she saw the look in Scorpius' eyes. Something had gotten him angry. Her first instinct was to reach for her pulse pistol. But with her hands, feet, and head strapped to a chair, that was a little out of the question.

As Scorpius walked toward Aeryn, he glanced at his assistant. "I want every recent memory involving John Crichton and wormholes. And I need Crichton's last known location."

"Officer Sun." Scorpius stepped up onto the platform to be directly in her line of sight. "I do hope you were able to evaluate your priorities during the delay. This is a rather unpleasant experience, and I would hate for it to be worse because of some heroic notion involving John Crichton. I'm certain he would advise you not to fight the chair, from personal experience, of course."

Aeryn clenched her fists as she remained silent, but continued to keep eye contact, as Scorpius invaded her space. "You are silent now. But I assure you, that will change momentarily."

Turning to his assistant he raised his gloved hand, and the chair began to spin.

Intense pain ripped through Aeryn's mind, as the aurora chair began mapping and segmenting her brain. She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and began to bite down, forcing back a scream. She refused to give Scorpius the pleasure of hearing her scream, but doubted she could hold out much longer. The pain was overwhelming, causing tears to form in her eyes. Her chest hitched as she tried to regulate her breathing, but failed miserably, as she began to scream.

Scorpius eagerly watched the portal screen in anticipation as images began to appear in rapid succession.

Talyn... I want you to share something with me... before he dies. You can taste something that is denied to Peacekeepers...Something that you will never know... Can you feel that...? Good... Talyn... that is what it is to need someone.

My... Xhalax... was my last connection to the Peacekeepers. All my ties to them are now completely severed.

I'm never letting you go... I love it when you take control.

"I can't..." she gasped. "Please..." Aeryn got out on a whispered breath, as she realized what was coming next. The pain was becoming both physically and emotionally intolerable, as tears began streaming down her face.

Can it destroy the Dreadnought? Um... it could destroy a planet... Let's do what we have to do here, and then we'll go...

I'm very angry... I would have gone to Earth... Don't worry about me... I've never felt better.

Crichton! Crichton! Crich-ton!... Was it easy to be a hero?... Leave me behind?

If you'd lived, maybe I could have truly changed... But you are gone. And I am... what I was bred to be.

Hello, John.

We can still work together John. We always did that well... It was perfect. WE WERE SO PERFECT.

Guarantee you won't die in my arms again!

We're in the hands of fate now... We have to trust in that... Fly safe...Goodbye, John Crichton.

"Sir, she has put up a block."

"Well, increase the power level." Scorpius commanded. Engrossed in Aeryn's memories, he tried to piece together the puzzle.

"Sir, that..."

"Just do it!" he growled.

"Yes, sir." The assistant slid the control to maximum. Keeping a close eye on Aeryn's readouts.

Scorpius watched the screen greedily as the new image appeared. It was the beach on this planet. Scorpius peered closer, as an evil grin began to bloom on his face.

"Sir, it would be wise to stop now. There seems to be a health...complication." The assistant glanced up at Scorpius waiting for her orders.

Braca stood silent in the corner as he took in the scene that was unfolding in front of him.

Scorpius looked up at Aeryn, then back toward the view screen, which was frozen on the image of John Crichton.

"How interesting. Stop the chair. Take her to the lab for a full assessment."

Aeryn was unaware of the conversation going on around her. All she knew was that the chair had stopped, but the pain remained. She felt something warm running down her chin, and raised a shaky hand. Touching her chin, she brought her hand away covered in blood. Slowly, she snaked out her tongue and timidly touched her bottom lip. She hissed as she felt the split where her teeth had broken the skin. Closing her eyes, she felt like she could sleep forever.

The last thing she remembered was someone lifting her out of the chair, as she let the darkness swallow her.

************************************************************************

Braca carried Aeryn Sun into the lab area, placing her on one of the med beds. She had passed out as soon as the chair stopped spinning. Glancing at the techs, he gave them a short nod, and left the room.

Realizing it was getting late in the evening, he joined a group of peacekeepers that were going into town for a drink. He had business to attend to.

The group made their way to the local bar that catered primarily to peacekeepers and sebaceans. Braca had a couple of drinks, then headed towards the back sitting area.

Spotting a small table, he sat down, ordered another raslak, and began to wait.

He didn't have to wait long, as a figure emerged from the throng of people. A genuine smile broke across Braca's face as he nodded to the man before him.

"Sit. Raslak?" Braca inquired, still grinning.

"I better not. Last time I had a raslak with you, I ended up naked and hairless. So I'll pass if you don't mind." Kraine answered grinning back.

"How's the assassination business? Enjoying being a defector?" Braca asked humorously, with a tinge of disgust.

Kraine groaned. "We are not getting into that again. You know why I left. Besides, I won't be here that long. I'm just waiting for Sun to come back, so we can finish a job. You would not..."

"Wait, did you say Sun, as in Aeryn Sun?" Braca interrupted.

"I know, can you believe it? I mean, I've been working with her for three frelling weekens, and I just found out the other day."

Braca continued to stare at Kraine as he went on about Aeryn Sun. Finally Braca snapped Kraine back to the moment. "How in the hezmana could you not know it was Aeryn Sun? Her frelling picture is on all the wanted beacons. You'd have to be a frellnik to not realize it was her."

"Well..." Kraine shrugged a little sheepishly. "I've been really focused lately, and with the coming war, I hadn't been keeping track of all the resistance allies. Of course, looking back, I should have probably put it together from the dreams."

"Dreams?" Braca asked intrigued, very few peacekeepers had dreams. They were trained to control them.

"Oh yeah, you should hear her when she dreams about John Crichton. The two must have been 'close'. I mean 'close' as in, she kept me up all night with her moaning and groaning 'close'." Kraine paused, glancing up at Braca's silence. "Brac, you listening to me?... I am so frelling tired of people not listening to me."

"Yeah, I hear you. So you think she was recreating with Crichton?" Braca asked in a pensive voice.

"Uh, that's what I said. If it wasn't recreating, then I want whatever put that look of ecstasy on her face." Kraine said with a smirk. "Of course, I could do without the pain and tears that followed, but...Why? Is it the other species thing? Cause I gotta tell ya, if interspecies sex was that good, I'd think about sampling around myself. I mean, you weren't there, you didn't..."

"It's not important. Anyway, now that we have concluded that thrilling conversation of your sex life, or lack there of, obviously. Can we move on to more pressing matters?" Braca said, suppressing a grin.

"Sure thing. What's so important that you would risk meeting with the likes of me, to find out?"

"I need to know who you were sent to assassinate, and then I may need a little help," Braca stated persuasively.

"Anything for an old friend, Brac. But one more thing." Kraine said enthusiastically. "Guess who else I met? John Crichton, as in the man that has eluded the most elite peacekeepers, for the past three cycles. He's taller than I imagined and he..."

"Frell," Braca muttered. As Kraine went into another one of his insane ramblings, the night slipped away.

************************************************************************

Braca finally made it back to the Gammack base an arn before dawn. Striding through the hallways, he was heading for Aeryn Sun's cell. As he rounded the last corner he ran smack into Jena.

Jena locked eyes with Braca, spurring him into action, as he roughly pushed her up against the wall.

Heavy breathing filled the corridor for a tense moment. "I'm afraid that outfit isn't regulation, Agent Chatto."

Jena held Braca's stare until she glanced at the still form of Aeryn in her cell.

"Then maybe you should search me for concealed weapons, Lt. Braca."

Jena snaked her arms around his neck, as the slit of her skirt spread revealing her bare leg sliding up his leg. "I don't think you were thorough enough last time."

Braca glanced down the pre-dawn empty hallway, before lifting her, as she wrapped her legs around his waste. "Well, regulations do call for a full body search, when suspicions are...aroused."

Jena grinned as Braca's mouth descended upon her. Pulling back quickly she hissed one last comment. "Make it quick, I have to get back to Crichton."

Unbelievable, Aeryn thought watching the scene play out under half closed eyes. Does that tralk sleep with everyone?

************************************************************************

Jena didn't come home last night, he knew because he didn't sleep.

He was driven to distraction. Consumed with this need to find the last missing memory. It kept him up all night, trying to connect the dots. Within each memory there seemed to be a black hole, a missing link. Something so important that the last three years felt incomplete without it. Deep down, he knew it was the most important piece of the puzzle.

He sat on the beach running his thumb, back and forth, over his bottom lip. He was momentarily entranced by the sun that was rising in the sky, but the peace soon passed.

"John!"

Glancing up, he saw a happy Chiana bounding toward him, followed closely by Dargo, Rygel, and Stark. He was filled with conflicting emotions. He was happy to see his friends, but couldn't help feel somewhat abandoned. He wondered briefly if, when this was over, they were just going to leave again.

"Hey, old man." Chiana murmured squatting down beside him on the sand.

"Hey, little girl." John couldn't help but pull her into a hug, and accept her comfort. "Didn't expect to see you again so soon."

"Big D."

Reaching out his hand, Dargo took it in a firm grasp. "It is good to see you again my friend. And I'm glad to see all your memories have come back."

"Not all, I'm afraid. I still seem to have a blank spot, a mile long, in my head. You three wouldn't happen to know what it is would you? All I've got are feelings, senses, moments that come and go, but I don't know what to make of them."

Dargo glanced at Chiana, then quickly at Stark. "I don't...ahh...it could be anything. Don't worry, if it's important, it will come back."

Last night, after Stark had helped John, Stark found them and explained the situation. Chiana, Dargo, and Rygel all stood in shock, as they listened to the fact, that not only did John lose his memories of the Uncharted Territories, but it was because he was in pain and couldn't handle them.

Luckily, Zhaan taught Stark her gift for unity, and he was able to enter John's mind and find out what was wrong. Then, he was able to help John resurrect his memories. Well, all the memories, but one.

They had all voiced their concerns, but in the back of their minds, wondered if it wasn't for the best. Aeryn wasn't coming back, and they doubted John had accepted that on Moya. But now, if he didn't remember her, maybe he could move on, find a way home. Stark warned them to be careful, not to mention her, or it could do more harm than good. Well, that shouldn't be that hard, they thought.

John caught the exchanged glances and knew they weren't going to tell him. "Fine, I'll figure it out by myself. In the meantime, what ARE you guys doing here?"

"This frelling Luxan insisted we follow new coordinates to find Macton. Taking us farther away from our planets, to this goddess-forsaken place. Not only is it crawling with peacekeepers, but it doesn't even serve Hynerian delicacies."

"Buckwheat, it's good some things never change... Well, I'm good now, you guys can go do what you want. I'm sorry you had to come save my ass again." John tried to hold back the bitterness in his voice as he stood up and dusted off his shorts.

"Well, Stark thanks for...Wait, Stark, what are you doing here? I thought you were out searching for Zhaan on that mystic planet?"

"Yes, yes Zhaan, I found her, but then I returned to Moya."

"Moya? Last time I saw her, she was getting sucked through a wormhole."

"Wait, what happened to Moya? I just talked to pilot an arn ago. They're hiding behind the planet's moon. Moya's fine, Jool's with them." Dargo looked at Crichton like he still might be suffering from memory loss.

"Moya, swallowed, dark...hey that's what the vision was for, not the other Leviathan attack. Frell, I have to get better at interpreting those. First Naj Gil and now Moya."

"Not your fault Chi." John said, then glanced back to Dargo. "So you're off to find Macton?"

"Well, he's on this planet somewhere..." Dargo paused as he saw the look in John's eyes. "What?"

"I've been thinking. There must be some kind of base here. With all the peacekeepers and Jena, there must..."

"Jena! As in the Royal Planet Jena?" Chiana questioned. She had bad memories of that entire fiasco. That was where she found out her and Dargo weren't compatible, and they almost lost John...again.

"The one and only. She saved me after y'all left. She's been watching over me, trying to keep me sane." John avoided their glances as he looked to the sea. The lost feeling that he had escaped these last three weeks, came back full force with the memories.

"And keeping him very satisfied also, I might add." Jena smirked as she appeared from behind the hut.

"Hey, I was wondering when you'd show up. Let me guess, Gammack Base?"

"You always were quick, John. So you remember everything now? I hope I provided an adequate distraction during your brief break from Officer Sun. I'll be sure to give you back to her in perfect condition...well, maybe a little worn out."

John's puzzled response was barely heard over the noises made by the rest of Moya's crew.

"Okay, if someone doesn't tell me what the frell is going on..."

"Listen, John, this woman in your dreams she's your..." Chiana faltered.

"Shipmate." Rygel blurted out, glaring at Chiana

"Right, and Scorpius has her." Jena added.

"Aeryn isn't even near this planet and Scorpius is dead," Dargo growled.

"You lying peacekeeper tralk," Chiana added.

"No, he's here on this planet, currently spinning poor Officer Sun in the Aurora Chair."

It was a new voice that broke through the roar of confusion.

"She's right, actually. Sun trailed Jenavia Chatto over a solar day ago. I can only assume she was captured."

"Who might you be?" Stark asked as he tried to stare him down with one eye.

"That's the guy that told us about Crichton," Chiana blurted out.

"This is farbot!" Dargo roared. "Why in hezmana would Aeryn be on this planet? This is a peacekeeper trap."

"They were sent here to assassinate me," Jena declared.

"What the frell? Oh great, I'm dreaming about an assassin."

Jena glanced at John. "That's not the point. We need to concentrate on finding a way to get Officer Sun out."

"Why are you helping us?" Chiana asked suspiciously.

"Because there is more at stake here than you realize. More than Aeryn, more than John, and more than me." Jena replied cryptically.

"What are you talking about you vapid little trill?" Rygel exclaimed.

"It's not my place to tell. But we are limited on time, so I suggest forming a plan."

All eyes turned to John. "What? I got nothin'. Hell, I can't even remember the person we're trying to save."

"Maybe I could help. I've got an idea." Kraine suddenly got nervous as all the attention was placed on him.

************************************************************************

Aeryn was confused. After extensive medical tests, none of which were particularly painful, she was moved into a rather comfortable cell. For the last four solar days, she had been regularly fed, clothed, and was occasionally asked if she needed anything.

Something was not right; peacekeepers never treated prisoners this way. Unless they wanted something, and the only thing she figured Scorpius wanted was John. But why keep her unharmed and out of the Aurora chair? What did he gain? She wanted to ask him, but hadn't gotten the chance. He basically disappeared after her first and only session in the Aurora Chair, and she was starting to think maybe he had found John.

"Officer Sun, how are you feeling?"

Aeryn held back a groan. She should have learned by now to stop tempting fate.

"I don't care how well you treat me, I won't tell you about John and I don't have any information on wormholes."

"Noble Aeryn Sun. Protecting the universe from wormhole technology. Never understanding that all John Crichton truly cares about are you and Earth. Well guess what my dear. Earth is within my grasp, and now I have you."

Aeryn glanced up quickly, locking eyes with Scorpius. "You have nothing."

Aeryn realized her mistake too late. Scorpius had caught the surprised look in her eyes.

"Oh, didn't Crichton tell you?"

In that moment, Aeryn understood how much she had frelled everything up. John used to tell her everything. Confided in her, trusted her, but now he didn't even tell her about Earth. The one thing he had wanted more than anything, more than her.

Aeryn quickly shook herself back to the present. That was then, and John currently had no idea she even existed.

"John will never show you how to create wormholes. And no matter how many times you put me in Aurora chair, you'll never find out, because I don't know."

"Oh don't worry my dear, your time in the Aurora chair is in the past."

Aeryn couldn't stop the look of relief that crossed over her features, but it was quickly overshadowed with suspicion.

"What the frell do you want from me? Crichton doesn't even remember who I am." Aeryn paused as a strangled chuckle escaped her lips. "There is nothing you could offer him that would make him give you wormhole technology. So in the words of John Crichton, you're dren out of luck. I'm no longer of any value to Crichton."

"Well put, Officer Sun. But you are wrong about one small detail. There is one thing that I am sure Crichton would give me his world, even the universe, for."

As Aeryn opened her mouth to question Scorpius, she was surrounded by four techs. One held a very large injector, which he immediately placed at her neck.

The last thing Aeryn heard was Scorpius' smug comment. "Don't worry Officer Sun, you won't even miss it."

************************************************************************

Standing in the middle of the wild forest, John glanced at the sky. "Uh oh. Blood on the moon. And looks like a storm's a brewin'."

"I don't know what you are talking about, but moons do not bleed Crichton. Frelling lunatic."

"Can it Sparky. Someone's coming."

"This is worse than a Crichton plan," Dargo growled as he covered the opening of the base.

"Look Dargo, it's all we've got. Kraine and Jena are ready. We are good to go."

"I don't like leaving you in the hands of those two renegade peacekeepers."

"Big D, will you just cool it. The sooner you get to Macton, the sooner you can cover my ass, so stop complaining. And besides Chi, Sparky, and Stark are gonna be with me. I'll be fine."

"I cannot express how much better that makes me feel." Grinning, Dargo waited for the distraction that would put the whole plan into motion.

As if on cue, a group of about thirty peacekeepers exited the building. It was after dark and the last group of soldiers were off to their nightly recreation in town.

John and Kraine had been scouting the base for the past five solar days, learning the base's nightly routine. Jena had informed them that the base would be mostly run by techs at night. She also had provided a pass code that would get them onto Aeryn's level, and into her cell.

"Good luck D, and be careful. We should be in and out within the arn."

Jena and Kraine were already in the base providing a distraction. They had a window of about ten microts during which the video feed was going to be looped. Following the schematics that Jena had provided, John, Chiana, Stark, and Rygel, began to make their way to Aeryn's level.

Luckily, the building had many old access shafts that were restricted due to instability, allowing the quartet to traverse the passage without fear of being detected. As long as Stark could keep his frantic mumblings to a minimum, which had started up again as soon as they entered the base, they would be safe. They just had to hope that Jena and Kraine were doing their part.

The farther they crawled, the less intact the structure of the building was becoming. As they neared the end of the shaft, John began to think they had made a wrong turn somewhere. There weren't any guards and it almost seemed as if this entire floor of the base had been closed off. It was freezing and dark, and the walls and ceiling were crumbling in places.

He didn't remember anything about Officer Aeryn Sun, but the way his friends had talked about her, he assumed she would be highly guarded. Not to mention this place seemed to be fairly deserted, and if she had been as well trained as Jena, she would have already escaped from this eroding prison.

Jena said that Aeryn was moved about five solar days ago, and she was unsure as to the location of her new cell. She had also been somewhat vague as to her condition, but the group had sensed an urgent tone in her voice.

Tapping the com that Jena and Kraine had assured him would be on an undetectable personal frequency, John made sure everyone was in place.

"Jena, we're on Aeryn's floor now. Just keep Scorpy busy for a little longer, then we'll be out of this hell hole."

"Hurry John, Kraine's running out of irrelevant information to give him, and he's starting to ramble. That man can talk almost as much as you."

"Then we shouldn't have a problem. Be careful."

"You too. And John..."

"Yeah, Jena?"

"You may want to...never mind, just be ready for anything."

John paused for a moment. Something in Jena's voice made the rattlers start up. "Always am."

"Chiana, you and Rygel take that side of the hall. Stay alert. Be quick. We've got half an arn left."

Stark and John headed toward the darkest part of the building. Passing each room, John began to feel more and more anxious, which was bizarre because he couldn't remember this woman.

"Your soul remembers her."

Startled John turned to Stark, "What was that?"

"Your mind might not remember her, but your soul does. She is still alive Crichton. I can sense her."

They efficiently made their way down the hall. John would stand guard, while Stark checked the cell. As they neared the end of the hallway, Stark began getting more and more agitated.

Glancing down the hallway, John saw Chiana and Rygel reach the end without any luck. Moving to the last two cells, John headed to one, as Stark went to the other.

Standing on his toes, John peeked into the dark cold cell and was accosted with an overwhelming smell. Fighting a gag reflex, he motioned to Stark who quickly moved over to the cell door.

"Man, I can't see anyone in there. But it's dark and I'm deficient and it smells, so you might wanna take a look. If she's not there, then I don't know where..."

John was interrupted as Stark started pulling on the door, then grabbed for John's pulse pistol. "Too late, we're too late. Too late."

"Stark, calm down. You're going to shoot your eye out." Guarding Wynona, John took out the chip that Jena had given him for the cell.

The door slid open halfway, then squeaked to a stop. Stark slipped through first, and as John entered he noticed the only light coming in was from the rust colored moon. In the back of his mind, John was aware that the ceiling was completely missing in most of the cell, and it was starting to rain. Sweeping his eyes around the cell, John failed to see the dark shadow that huddled in the corner.

"Stark you're farbot, no one is in here. Let's go. We've got less than half an arn until we're supposed to meet Dargo."

"No. No. No. No. No." Stark spun wildly around as he grabbed John's face in both hands and turned it to face the shadow in the corner.

John froze as the shadow began to stir. He was barely aware of the gasp that escaped his lips, as he took a step further into the room.

The moonlight began to illuminate the face that was slowly being revealed as it was lifted toward the sky.

"That...is the Radiant Aeryn Sun," Stark whispered.

Years from now, John will look back on that night and always wonder why. Why at that moment did he remember everything? Every beautiful, painful, blissful, moment of his life with Aeryn Sun. And why did he have to remember it five days too late?

As the memories flooded back, John felt the weight of the world fall on his shoulders. It was too much. Dropping to his knees, John felt the missing piece slide into place. How could he forget this? She made it all worth it. Worth the pain, worth the sorrow, worth the tears. She was his everything. His purpose. His strength. His hope. How could he forget?

He slowly crawled toward the shadow wondering why he had ever let her go.

Reaching the curled up ball, he kneeled in front of her and unconsciously shivered as he felt the rain run down the back of his neck. The wet ground soaked through his pants, and he momentarily wondered why she was sitting in a puddle.

"Hey, baby. It's me, we're gonna get you out of here." He fought to see her eyes through the darkness.

The rain was running in rivulets into his eyes. Blindly, he leaned closer to Aeryn as cold fear gripped his heart. Something was seriously wrong. She was shivering uncontrollably, knees pulled up against her chest, unaware of anything going on around her.

Reaching out his hand, he gently brushed back the wet strains of hair from her forehead. Then slid his hand down her cheek to gently lift up her chin. Tears were mingling with the rain as they slid down her pale cheeks. Her eyes were glazed over, and she had no idea John was even there.

"Aeryn, come on baby. You gotta help me out here. What's wrong?"

"Um John, if I may be of some assistance in this somewhat time sensitive situation."

"Go away Harvey, now is not the time."

"Right then, I'll just get straight to the point. So, once more with feeling. My gift to you."

Be Forgiving. Be Kind. Better Angels. Her Life. Her world. On her time. You will know. Aeryn is with child.

John froze as the words played across his consciousness. He couldn't breathe. For a moment his heart stopped beating. Steadying himself, he placed one hand on the wet ground as he fought for a long shuddering breath.

Gaining strength, he grabbed Aeryn's upper arms pulling her up onto her knees. As he opened his mouth to call her name, the word froze on his lips. Something about the moonlight catching the wetness on his hands. The red against the pale skin of her arms. Not from the blood on the moon.

This was it. Rock bottom. Bottom of the wheel. Grounded by the wheel, not into mud, but into blood. Aeryn's blood.

"No. God no. Aeryn come on. Look at me." John shook her by the arms, now well aware of the puddle of blood that they were both kneeling in.
He gently placed his forehead against her's, and began a whispered litany.

"Aeryn, please fight. I need you...I need you to fight. Come on baby. I can't..." Breaking off on a sob. He was about to scoop her up in his arms, when he felt a cold kiss on his lips, and a barely heard "John," caress his skin.

"That's it baby. Stay with me. I'm gonna get you out of here."

"No." John paused, as he noticed her eyes held a manic gleam.

"No? No!? We don't have time for this."

Grabbing his wet shirt with bloody hands, Aeryn's eyes bore into John's.

"No. I can't leave."

"The hell you can't!" John slipped his arms around Aeryn's back as he saw her strength slipping away.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry. You don't understand." Aeryn began to sob softly as all the energy drained from her body. She was so cold and her body kept convulsing.

"Damn it Aeryn... Look at me!" John felt sheer panic grab his heart, as he forced Aeryn to look at him.

"The baby," she whispered in a weak voice. "Can't leave...the baby."

Gasps from the doorway reminded John they were not alone.

"Of course. Baby Crichton. Baby Crichton. Must get Baby Crichton." Stark muttered to himself as he turned and left the cell.

John took a deep breath as he prepared himself before he ripped out Aeryn's heart, along with his own.

"Aeryn. The baby's gone."

"No, John. I know the baby is alive... Please."

"Aeryn..." John sighed, a deep heart shattering sigh.

"Alright baby, we'll do it your way." John lifted a frail Aeryn into his arms as he glanced towards the door for the first time. "I'm gonna get Aeryn out of here. Chi..."

"I'm on it...Just get Aeryn out of here." Chiana glanced at the river of blood on the floor, then turned sad eyes to John, but gave a reassuring smile when she saw the look on his face.

"Please goddess, don't let her die." Chiana whispered as she followed Stark down the corridor.

John glanced at Rygel. "Rygel..."

"Don't worry Crichton. I've got your back." Withdrawing a small gun from his robe, Rygel flew out the door as he checked the hallway. "It's clear Crichton, hurry."

"I can't carry Aeryn through the access shaft."

"There's an old elevator shaft at the other end of the hall. Chiana and I checked it out just in case this plan went to hezmana, like they always do."

John looked at Rygel with a look that frightened the little dominar. "You're not going to kiss me are you Crichton?"

"I would if I could Rygel."

They rode the elevator down in silence, as John and Rygel both stared at Aeryn.

"Did...you know she was pregnant?" Rygel tentatively asked.

"I found out a little too late Rygel. She was already gone."

"I'm sorry, Crichton."

"Yeah, me too, Sparky. Me too."

As the elevator doors opened on the main base level, John glanced around.

Tapping the com with his chin, he contacted Kraine. "I'm on the main floor, coming out of an old elevator. Is there a back way out of here?"

"Crichton, did you find Sun?"

"Yeah. Is there a back way out of here?"

"Take a right out of the elevator. That hallway should be empty. I'll meet up with you in a few microts."

"Right. This way then." Rygel zoomed off in his throne sled as he protected the path for his two shipmates.

"John Crichton."

Rygel and John paused at the same moment to see their favorite peackeeper Lieutenant.

"Braca, I really don't have time for this. So if you are going to shoot me, just do it. If not, move out of the way."

"On the contrary Crichton, I am actually here to help."

"Right, and Scorpy will provide medical assistance."

"Crichton, Scorpius knows you are here. We have to hurry."

"Shove that up your eema, there is nothing you can say that will convince me...," Rygel declared.

"What about me? He's a friend. Brac may not always be the good guy, but this time he's on the right side." Kraine added as he came down the hall.

"Why are you doing this?" John turned suspicious eyes from Kraine to Braca.

"Because I can't, in good conscious, let Scorpius use this child."

John's body stiffened, as he tried to keep his knees from buckling.

"So the baby's alive?" he managed to get out in a controlled voice.

Kraine and Braca both looked at John like he was crazy.

"Of course the baby's alive. Scorpius knows you would do anything for this child. Now, follow me." Braca turned and led the way down the hall.

Rygel followed Braca, with John and Kraine pulling up the end.

"So, you remember her now?" Kraine questioned with sadness in his voice.

"Yup." John was not in the mood to talk.

"Do you want me to carry her? You look pretty weak yourself."

"Nope. I've got her."

"Are you sure, because I wouldn't want...?"

"I said no. I'm not letting her go again. Now, drop it."

Kraine saw the fear and determination etched in every line of John Crichton's face. If Aeryn Sun died, he didn't think Crichton would make it.

"Here's the opening. Now just go up the stone ramp, then go left. Dargo's ship should be there. I just talked to Jena, they're on their way. Good luck John Crichton. But be warned, Scorpius will now want you more than ever."

"Wonderful...Thanks Braca. I didn't think you had it in you."

"This was a one time deal Crichton. Don't count on me next time." And with that Braca went back into the building.

"It just keeps getting better and better doesn't it guys?... Where are they? We are running out of time." John glanced down at Aeryn's pale face. She was glowing amber in the light of the red moon. She looked ethereal, except for the blood.

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cold lips. "Hold on baby. We're almost out of here."

"John!" Dargo's ship became visible at the same time Dargo, Chiana, Jena, and Stark came running down the ramp. "Get in the frelling ship, now." Dargo growled as everyone shuffled up the ramp.

Dargo turned to an apprehensive looking Kraine, "If you're coming, get in!"

John was just able to catch site of a small cylinder tube. His chest hitched as he tried to take in a ragged breath. He quickly turned as he heard Jena clear her throat.

Jena was at the edge of the ramp, with a worried look on her face. "Good luck."

"I don't know how I can ever thank you," John paused as he looked down at Aeryn. "Are you sure you don't want to come with us? Be a fugitive on the run, leave the glorified special directorate to be an outlaw."

Jena chuckled. "No, I'm much more beneficial here. As long as I don't get caught."

John wanted to say more, but all he could think about right now was getting Aeryn onto Moya.

"Go John. I'll see you again. I've got your module."

"Keep her safe for me. I'll come back when I can. I've got more important things to think about right now." As if she knew they were talking about her, Aeryn moaned and buried her head into John's neck. "Gotta go. Bye Jena."

John walked quickly up the ramp as it closed behind them. Silence reigned on Dargo's ship as everyone sat stunned, looking back and forth between the small dark container and John holding Aeryn.

Aeryn sighed John's name once more before she completely lost consciousness. Limp and cold in his arms, John held Aeryn as close as he could to his body.

Chiana wrapped them both in an emergency blanket, as Stark kneeled next to John, removing his mask.

"May I?"

"Just don't take her to the other side."

Stark stared at John's deadly serious expression, then preceded to ease Aeryn's pain.

The rest of trip was silent, until Jool burst through on the coms.

"Is everyone all right? Did you find Aeryn?"

Dargo spoke up, "Yes, Jool we have Aeryn, but she's going to need medical attention. She's lost a lot of blood."

"Was Officer Sun injured?" Pilot interrupted in a nervous voice.

Dargo quickly glanced at John, who looked like he was barely holding it together, before he answered.

"Yeah, she was injured. But we're really not sure how. Just be ready in the hanger bay."

Everyone could smell the blood in the crowded ship. It didn't look good. But no one was ready to voice that sentiment. Especially in light of the inconsolable human in the corner, rocking his soulmate back and forth, singing softly about his only sunshine.

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