Hello! Thank you for reading this far- HEY! DAMMIT! DO NOT CLICK THE X…OR THE BACK…NO! NOOOO!

Okay. Ahem. Well, what I'm doing with this little piece here is just some random commercials/stories all in one things…(I don't know what to call them, dammit!) using, well, random characters of course. (I own none of these characters…so don't sue me, if you do, I know of many people with sharp pointy things…)

So, without further ado, I bring you NINfomercials. (NINtendo, infomercials! Isn't that witty?)

CHAPTER ONE

It was a nice day at Mario's house. Birds were singing, the sun was shining, Luigi was completely hammered, it was great. However…something was wrong! Mario needed to make a cake for Peach's party, or else he'd most likely get beaten with a random object she carries. Like an onion. Onions hurt. Shut up, they do…you're making me cry! (onion pun…that one was PUNishing, eh?…ahem) So, he had all of the ingredients. Except, for one thing. A CUP OF MILK! He ran around frantically, making random Italian Plumber/Carpenter/Superhero noises, but he never found anything. He knew he had to ask his brother.

"Hey! Luigi! I need a favor!" Mario said, which was nothing new. Mario can't do anything alone.

"Nnngh…" Luigi replied sleepily, since he was surrounded by a 12-pack of beer.

"I said I need a favor!" Mario stated, louder, so Luigi would maybe snap out of it.

"Nngh…Nn…G…Rrg.." He just replied.

Well, to make a long story short, this went on for a good…eh…five minutes. It ended with Mario getting hit in the face by a beer bottle. He was rushed to the hospital. He had many visitors…and they thought he wouldn't make it.

The first visitor was Yoshi. Yoshi walked in and was all Yoshi noise , but no one could understand him…and no one really cared to. So…they threw him out the door.

The second visitor was Bowser. He came in and looked very sad, for there were tears in his eyes. Mario looked up at him weakly, and could manage to speak.

"Bow…ser, what is…wrong?" He stuttered.

Bowser just looked at him, and then, as he got closer…it could be seen that they were tears of joy. Mario's that came soon after, however, were not.

The third, and last visitor (oh come on, you thought Mario had friends?) was his love: Princess Peach. (What was up with her name changing three times? I swear it was so damn pointless. It's like if Master Chief were to walk up to Ness and ask to join his tea party…) Her tears were those of sadness. She sobbed as she held Mario one last time, kissed him, and apologized for the whole need for a cake. She also mentioned that the party wasn't until next week. She then cried, and held Mario's hand until he finally passed peacefully, through the great warp pipe into the heavens.

Got Milk?

I apologize for the length, but…it is modeled after a commercial, so it is supposed to go somewhat quick. Also, there will be enough more, so if you liked it, you'll be happy. If you didn't, tell me why. Either way, please tell me what you thought.