SoulmateAU! The one that doesn't end the way you want it to because life's like that. R27. F27.
A/N: The feels. Leave a comment to tell me how realistic this is or if any of you can relate to this relationship. Enjoy. Or maybe not.
He's fourteen when he meets his soulmate.
"Ciaosu!"
It's everything he expects. The metaphorical explosion of colours, the electricity, the connection. Tsuna considers himself lucky that he's found his soulmate at such a young age despite the odds and being dame. Bright side: His soul mate is here to stay; Down side: His soulmate is a baby.
"You're my soulmate." Tsuna replies, awestruck.
"That seems to be the case."
"But you're a baby!"
"For now."
'`ooo~OOO~ooo'`
Reborn understood him. Reborn was his greatest support.
There were moments where Tsuna felt like everyone doubted him, when even he doubted himself, but Reborn pushed him forward with enough resolve to make everyone else's opinion insignificant.
"Do it with your dying will, baka-Tsuna."
"One day, my dying will won't be enough and you're going to kill me with that thing, Reborn."
"Baka. I believe in you." And Reborn continued to use those bullets on him time after time.
'`ooo~OOO~ooo'`
Tsuna watches as Bianchi smothers his soulmate into her bosom and tries his best not to feel anything about it.
"I've missed you, my dear Reborn!" She gushes.
"Hello, Bianchi." Reborn replies with what Tsuna notes as fondness in the hitman's voice.
Later on, Tsuna meets the other arcobalenos and realises how important a character Reborn is in the Mafia world. Reborn was a suave, handsome, successful, and powerful hitman – the best in the underworld! On one hand, Tsuna was incredibly proud of his soulmate. On the other hand…
"Reborn." Tsuna hated how obviously vulnerable he was presenting himself as.
"Tsuna?" He was sure Reborn picked up the seriousness of the matter at hand.
"How did a soul like yours match up with someone like me?"
"What are you trying to imply, baka-Tsuna?" Reborn frowned.
"I mean, I'm baka. I'm useless. I'm no-good. You're someone people look up to." It was obvious Reborn drew the shortest half of the straw possible.
Reborn snorted. "Tsuna. I'll make you the best boss Vongola has yet."
Tsuna didn't know if Reborn had an unlimited amount of faith in him, or if the hitman was trying to make him feel better. Whatever it was, Tsuna made sure no one would ever find out that Reborn had to deal with such an inferior being as his soulmate.
After all, he was dame-Tsuna."
'`ooo~OOO~ooo'`
"You know."
"I know. And I feel the same."
"It's hard to explain."
"It is."
"You're special. You're the one for me. I've never been so certain about anything in my life."
"I know."
"I know you know. And I understand you're the only person in this world who could understand what I'm feeling. We're soulmates after all."
"You don't have to explain it, Tsuna. Only me and you."
"I want to. I wanted to try to explain what I feel in words because it makes it feel more real." It was a time of peace for the both of them. Things were settling down, they were back from the future, it was a day of rest.
"Can you explain it in words?" Tsuna continued prompting.
Reborn smirked. "I feel it in my fingers. I feel it in my toes."
"Don't be an asshole, Reborn, I'm trying to be serious here."
"You know I don't talk about feelings, baka."
"I know." Tsuna smiled, satisfied with life in actuality. "It would still be nice to be assured by you once in a while."
"We're soulmates, Tsuna. What other assurance do you need?"
Tsuna huffed, determined to get some sort of cheesy declaration from his soulmate. "This is the first time I'm doing this whole relationship thing, Reborn. It'll be nice to know I'm doing okay."
"Baka, you're doing perfectly."
"Better than your previous lovers?" Tsuna couldn't help asking.
"You're different, baka. You're my soulmate." Reborn deadpanned.
"Fine." Tsuna pouted knowing this was all he was going to get. He knew what Reborn was trying to say after all. Tsuna knew he would never get an 'I love you' from the other but it was alright. They were soulmates after all.
'`ooo~OOO~ooo'`
"You need to control them better, Tsuna."
"They're not mine to control, Reborn! They're my friends!"
"They are your guardians who have certain expectations of how a boss should act, Tsuna. You're too casual with the way you act around them that you're practically sending the wrong signals."
"They are my friends Reborn!"
"Gokudera worships the ground you walk on, Mukuro is holding some form of saviour gratitude towards you for saving him, Hibari and Yamamoto are overly possessive of you, the Boxer expects you to marry his sister or something, the Cow seeks comfort from you and so does that Chrome girl!"
"Friends can have these sorts of relationships too!"
"They expect you to be a boss to them but you've led them into believing they have some sort of special best friend relationship with you." Reborn sneers.
"What's wrong with that?" Tsuna rears up in defence.
"I'm your soulmate, baka-Tsuna. I hope you remember that." Reborn replies with no expression on his face but Tsuna's intuition picks it up immediately.
"Are you jealous Reborn?"
"Don't be daft, baka."
Tsuna's intuition sparks again and before he could filter the thought, it came spilling out. "You're feeling insecure. You're a baby now and you think that no one would ever take you seriously as my soulmate. You're afraid."
Reborn's silent ire was more than enough for Tsuna to know he made a mistake of voicing his thought out loud. The rage flowing off the hitman was obvious to Tsuna who knew him well by now.
"Reborn…" Tsuna tried to calm the other down. Yes, he knew that there was nothing that could be done about their situation at the moment and Reborn's curse was always a sore topic for them. He shouldn't have brought it up. He understood that Reborn must be suffering, helpless, out of control – all negative feelings that the hitman hated and had made sure to eliminate.
"Look Reborn, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. I understand-"
"No." Reborn's glacial tone cut him off. "You don't. And you never will." And with that, Reborn walked away for the first time in their relationship leaving Tsuna to pick up the pieces and build up from foundations again.
'`ooo~OOO~ooo'`
It happened all of a sudden. Tsuna couldn't even remember what the fight was about but he couldn't bear for Reborn to walk away again.
"Reborn. Stop. You've walked away one too many times. You need to find a better coping mechanism."
"You know me, Tsuna. It's either this or shoot."
"Just stop, Reborn. We can't keep going on like this."
"Then we just won't continue at all."
Tsuna flinched. "What are you talking about."
"We both need a break and you know it, Tsuna."
"We're soulmates, you can't leave me." All sorts of insecurities of being dame came flooding back. He thought he'd gotten rid of all these useless thoughts back when he'd defeated Byakuran.
"Baka-Tsuna." Tsuna flinched at what used to be a term of endearment. Reborn saw the flinch, he was sure, but the hitman carried on in a more soothing tone. "Tsuna, I said take a break, not leave each other forever."
Tsuna swallowed every objection he had because he knew what Reborn needed at the moment and a break was right. "Alright."
Reborn nodded and all of a sudden it seemed like they were strangers or colleagues. Something they've never been to each other. To think he could be something of such insignificance made Tsuna's heart clench and crack.
"I'll take that mission in Germany. We both need the distance."
"Alrigtht." And that was it.
Because after all, they were soulmates. It'll be okay.
'`ooo~OOO~ooo'`
He made sure to call Reborn every day, which turned to every other day, then every week. The distance Reborn had placed wasn't very obvious because they still caught up with the important events of each other's life. The physical distance, though, was overwhelming.
Reborn used to be his first avenue to sound off his ideas and concerns. Now, Hayato had taken over that position, and Ryohei when the topics were a little more about his friends. His father was being an asshole again and was forcing him to move to Italy when Iemitsu had not even told his wife about the Mafia. Takeshi had settled that particular problem for him. On a side note, his famiglia was coming together just fine and Tsuna knew that if Reborn had stayed, he wouldn't have formed such a bond of trust with his guardians.
It was about six months after Reborn had left that Tsuna finally moved to the main Italy house with his guardians. His mother had cried but was determined to stay in Japan. Kyoya, who was supposed to fly with the rest of the guardians, gave the excuse that he needed to settle some problems in Namimori. In reality, Tsuna knew the skylark was making sure Nana's neighbours and community would treat her well in their absence.
The next time Reborn and Tsuna met was in the main Italy house, during the first meeting between the Ninth generation and the Tenth. Reborn was standing behind the Ninth as if he belonged there which caused a fire of resentment to stir in Tsuna. Tsuna knew he was a mess after Reborn had left for that mission in Germany and to see the other being so okay and fine was a huge upset for him.
Takeshi's hand settled on his should causing all worries to wash away with the rain.
Reborn's eye twitched but the hitman didn't comment.
Later, after the meeting, Tsuna found himself taking a walk outdoors with the sun arcobaleno. They went through the pleasantries of 'how have you been?'.
"You look good."
"So do you. You seem more confident."
"Do I?" Tsuna gave a wistful smile. "I found friends that have my back. I'm grateful and happy to have them."
"And your soulmate? What would you have him as?"
"He'll always be that special someone to me no matter how far he is." And with that answer, it seemed that both he and Reborn had accepted this non-relationship status. Reborn enjoyed the freedom of being who he was, and Tsuna appreciated the lack of pressure of being Reborn's soulmate.
All was good.
'`ooo~OOO~ooo'`
It was probably a year later when Verde found the cure to speed up the arcobaleno's aging. The arcobalenos left without a word and everyone understood their need for them to celebrate the return of their adult bodies. Reborn's first order of business was to get back into assassination. And so, Tsuna waited patiently for the other to come back to him. After all, Reborn was his soul mate.
In the meantime, Tsuna starts dating. First, he meets this simple baker girl from Italy with some sort of Japanese roots who remind him of Reborn. They date, it was fun, and they separated on amicable grounds. After that, Tsuna meets a man much older than himself who was a successful business man, and had ego as big as Reborn's. They separated because the man had made fun of assassins. It was a rather trivial thing but Tsuna couldn't let it go.
Reborn came back two years later with an air of confidence, and the scent of perfume and smoke.
"I heard about your attempt at relationships, Tsuna."
"They didn't work out." 'They weren't you.' Went unsaid.
"It's good to see you growing up." 'I don't have a problem with you messing around.'
"Not jealous this time?" Tsuna asked because he was honestly confused.
Reborn shrugged. "I know you'll never get over me." The hitman joked then smirked.
Tsuna snorted at the other's arrogance but knew it was true. Still, Reborn didn't need to put it that way.
"What about you?"
"You know you're the only one for me, you're my soulmate after all." That statement made Tsuna feel all sorts of guilty for messing around when Reborn didn't. Or so he thought Reborn didn't. Maybe he did? Reborn was a well-known playboy after all. Tsuna would never ask knowing the other may get offended at his mistrust.
"Welcome back, Reborn."
"It's good to be back, Tsuna."
And just like that, Reborn was back in his life as if he never left.
Except, he did.
'`ooo~OOO~ooo'`
With Reborn back as his advisor, the hitman became his number one support and sounding board again. Until one day, when Reborn decided to take Bianchi as his girlfriend.
"You're dating someone."
"Yes. Is that a problem?"
"Yes. We're soulmates."
"And you dated when I was away."
Tsuna had no reply to that. He did. And now he was reaping what he had sowed.
"It's not serious, you know?" Reborn tried to reassure. "I'm just trying to let her down slowly because she's been pining for so long and I don't want her to leave your Famiglia. You understand, right?"
Tsuna doesn't say that he doesn't care if it's not serious. He wasn't like Reborn. He couldn't stand seeing Reborn with someone else no matter who that person was. Tsuna also doesn't say that he feels hurt that Reborn hadn't asked him to date all these years of their non-relationship status. Tsuna also doesn't say that he feels like Reborn is taking their soulmate status for granted.
"You know you're special to me right?" Reborn adds.
"Yeah. I understand."
"You're the only one who understands this feeling you know?"
"Yeah. In your fingers, in your toes."
"That's right, Tsuna. Trust me."
"Alright."
'`ooo~OOO~ooo'`
Something unexpected happened.
"Will you go out with me? I would be overjoyed if you would allow me to take you out on a date."
Fon – the caring, kind, supportive, strong, intense Fon, asked him out on a date.
A proper date.
How long has it been since Tsuna was asked out on a date? He stopped going on dates the moment Reborn came back, always making himself available just in case Reborn were to ask him. But now, here was the storm arcobaleno, a handsome someone from his extended famiglia, asking him out on a date.
The dame part of him feels honoured.
He considers his answer seriously.
He's young. He wants to try being in a serious relationship. Here was someone he liked and knew could stand up to his crazy famiglia.
And also, Reborn was currently in a relationship. Saying yes wouldn't hurt.
And so they went out for a night. And another.
Half a year later, Reborn successfully breaks up with Bianchi and lets her down properly.
"You're dating Fon?"
"Yeah. Are you okay with it?"
"Would it matter?"
"I guess so… you know I always hold your regard highly." Tsuna didn't say 'because you're my soulmate' because he knew if that was brought into the conversation, there was only one way his relationship with Fon would go.
He knew Reborn knew this too and deep down they knew that despite being soulmates, the break did do them good. Maybe sometime in the future they would get the chance to try again? When Tsuna didn't feel as dame, or when Reborn felt like he could finally ask Tsuna to start dating.
"Go for it, Baka-Tsuna. I'll make sure to warn Fon not to hurt you."
"Don't be an asshole." Tsuna smiled in relief. "Reborn, you know you can still come to me for anything, right? You know that I'd do anything for you?" He felt like he needed to remind and reassure the hitman that no matter what, their bond ran deeper than any other.
"Baka. I know." Reborn ruffled his hair fondly.
It went unsaid that both Tsuna and Reborn knew that the hitman would never ask Tsuna for anything because of his pride. Neither of them were sure how to feel about this new development but life goes on.
'`ooo~OOO~ooo'`
"Tsuna and Fon do look good together, don't they?" Takeshi commented to Hayato who scoffed but didn't deny. They stood at the side of the hall as they watched their sky dance happily with his boyfriend.
"I'm just happy that Tsuna-sama finally found someone of equal standing as him. The other two weren't even worth his attention." Hayato continued.
"I haven't seen Tsuna this happy in a long time. I'm super proud of my lil-bro!" Ryohei exclaimed and caught Reborn's attention.
"You must approve of them being together huh, Reborn? Otherwise you would have shot one or the other." Takeshi joked.
"I wonder if they're soulmates, actually." Mukuru appeared from nowhere and slung an arm around the rain. "They really do suit each other."
"I was thinking the same thing! But Tsuna wouldn't answer me when I asked." Takeshi replied.
"Some people find their soulmates while others make their own." Chrome added and shrugged. "Whatever it is, I'm glad to see bossu has found love."
"You think it'll last?" Lambo asked, as his eyes shifted between the rest of the guardians and Reborn.
"No reason to believe it won't, seeing how satisfied they are at the moment." Hayato sighed. "Damn it. We need to plan how to make sure we can kill Fon successfully if he hurts our beloved Tenth."
Reborn was quiet the whole way through and that was when Fon and Tsuna joined the conversation.
"What's this I hear about you guys wanting to challenge me?" Fon asked with a pleasant smile on his face but his tone had a warning bite to it. The Guardians froze up and started pleading their case.
In the meantime, Tsuna and Reborn exchanged looks.
'You know I'd do anything for you. You just need to ask.'
'You know I'd never ask.'
"Then how am I supposed to react?'
'Baka-Tsuna you're a boss. You shouldn't be reacting. You should be acting and making decisions.'
'It means something to me if you're willing to ask. I want the sincerity of you asking, and not the obligation of the soulmate bond.'
'You should know that neither of us need to ask. We're soulmates. I thought you knew what that means and how that feels. Only you and I know, remember?'
'I don't know if I know anymore, Reborn. If I knew, then that would be enough. But it isn't and you know it.'
"Are you happy?" Everyone stopped talking when Reborn spoke.
"I am." Tsuna nodded earnestly.
"Then it seems that everyone approves of our relationship then!" Fon declares and pulls Tsuna closer and the young boss couldn't help but smile.
'Are you happier?' Reborn doesn't ask, so Tsuna doesn't answer.
They both leave with the understanding that if Reborn asked Tsuna to leave, he would.
But Reborn doesn't ask. And Tsuna doesn't answer.
'`ooo~OOO~ooo'`
"Well you only need the light when it's burning low,
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow.
Only know you love her when you let her go."
Tsuna hear the lyrics to a song and thinks about Reborn every time he hears it.
There are things that remind him of important people in his life. For example, every time he sees a yellow bird he misses Kyoya just a little bit more. Every time he hears about baseball he thinks about Takeshi's sacrifice. When he's at the market and walks down the fish aisle he thinks of Ryohei and his love of salmon. Any mention of UFOs immediately brings up thoughts of Hayato. He's got so many people in his life now that everything practically triggers a certain memory of someone special.
But it's different for Reborn.
Every time he holds a gun he thinks of the time that Reborn taught him how to shoot. Then he proceeds to think about every other special time with Reborn.
When he eats, he thinks of the times when Reborn scolds him for his absurd table manners. Then he proceeds to make sure he's keep up to Reborn's standards.
When he negotiates with other bosses, he pulls up every advice word for word given by Reborn. Then he proceeds to run through everything Reborn's ever said to him and try to remember how much he remembers.
He never forgets, he never wants to. But he lets go.
Thinking about Reborn used to be sad and regretful.
Now, nostalgia emerges as the top emotion.
Some point in time, Tsuna realised that Fon's birthdays became more important than Reborn's. There wasn't regret or 'what if's' any more. At some point in time, Tsuna learnt to look back at his relationship (whatever it was) with Reborn and appreciate everything the other has done for him.
At some point in time, 'I'd do anything for you' followed up with a 'except for leave Fon for you'. At some point, Tsuna didn't know when, Fon became priority. Something that Reborn always was.
At some point in time, 'We're soulmates after all' didn't work so much anymore.
'`ooo~OOO~ooo'`
At some point in time, Fon triggers a crucial change:
"I know Reborn holds a special place in your heart but I hope that you can see a future with me, Tsunayoshi."
"You're being silly, Fon. You mean the most to me." Tsuna smiled but was somewhat surprised at how easy it was to say it. "I love you."
"I love you too, Tsunayoshi." Fon says it and Tsuna beams in delight.
'`ooo~OOO~ooo'`
"I hear congratulations are in order."
"Finally back? You didn't tell me you were coming back! How was your trip?"
"It was good. No complications and we've managed to secure another factory."
"I've been hearing many good things about you from the other bosses in that area."
"Number one hitman. What did you expect?" Reborn puffed up.
"Good job Reborn. Welcome back." Tsuna smiled and Reborn returned it with a rare one. Tsuna knew Reborn took it the hardest out of all the arcobaleno when they were turned into babies. It was good seeing him build up his previous confidence and life again.
"So I heard that Fon finally popped the big question."
Tsuna beamed excitedly and told Reborn all about Fon's proposal and their upcoming wedding.
"You'll be attending, won't you?"
"Of course."
There was peaceful silence for a moment. Tsuna would never say it but it meant a lot that Reborn was in support of his relationship with Fon.
"Are you happy?"
"Yeah. I am."
Even now, Tsuna could still read the other. The things left unsaid.
But Tsuna also understood that the things left unsaid meant that Reborn was respecting Tsuna's choices.
"What about you? Are you happy, Reborn?"
Reborn shrugged. "I'll be fine." And Tsuna knew he meant it.
"You know that you're still special, right? Different from the others?"
"I know."
"They'll never understand."
"Nope. Only me and you."
"Only me and you." Tsuna nods.
"Congratulations." Reborn fills that statement with soft sincerity.
They exchanged smiles.
"Thank you, Reborn."