Schönen Chaos
Shonen means beautiful(at least that's what Google translate said). If you're German, and the title's incorrect, please tell me in the review section, thanks! The title is Beautiful Chaos. Hope you like it.
They didn't drink too much in Vienna.
-
-Britain-
Vanessa took precautions everywhere. On trains, planes and automobiles.
Never did they sit close enough to feel the moist of each other's breath on one another's neck, or enough to hear each other inhale and exhale. Always, silence, but never awkward.
Their first stop was Britain. They were taking the American Airlines, and immediately after they sat down, Vanessa lowered the armrest, a physical divide between her and Nate. They didn't talk, not once. She stared out the window; he stared at the seat in front of him.
He remembered the one time they touched each other, accidentally, of course. Her head lolled to the side, in her sleeping position, her forehead pressed against the cold window. Her right hand slipped onto his knee. First, Nate was surprised. Did she just do that? When she failed to remove it, he left it there, not bothered. She did that when he was nervous traveling on planes.
'Hey, calm down,' she'd say. 'Stop giving yourself a migraine and relax.' Then, she would laugh her twinkly laugh, eyes scrunched up, her tongue pushing against her teeth, letting out a carefree giggle.
He didn't hear that laugh in a long time.
As he let her sleep, he wondered if he was the one to make her laugh again.
-
-France-
Nate hated those couchettes. They reminded him of Blair, of what could have been if they stayed together. Often, when he was pretending to sleep, Blair would whisper about their future together, how they were to go to Yale, get their Masters, take a honeymoon trip across Europe, traveling in the couchettes he was currently sitting on, across from Vanessa.
The train rumbled on, sometimes hitting a rock on the way, a bump here and there. Still, Vanessa sat there, her back against the wall, read The Bell Jar. Didn't she feel dizzy? Nate sighed and flopped on his back, staring at the ceiling. He felt a familiar buzzing feeling in his limbs. He needed to move around, jog, just do something. But how could he solve his problem? He was on a moving train, with nothing to do. He swung his legs over the bed, determined to speak French to his fellow passengers. I mean, his parents didn't send him to one of the most exclusive private schools in New York for nothing, right?
"Quel ennuyeux." Nate sighed, his hand on the sliding door.
"Agreed."
Nate spun around so fast he was surprised he didn't lose his footing. "You know French?" He sputtered surprisingly. Not to be snobbish, but he wasn't aware anyone that didn't go to private school knew Latin or French, just standard Spanish words.
"Um, yeah." Vanessa replied, slightly offended. "Family friend. Got mad, went to France to complete education, came back because he couldn't afford the rent there anymore, and moved in with my family for two months. He was so grateful; he didn't even take our food. I swear, the only things I saw him put in his mouth were cigarettes and coffee." She laughed, over the temporary strain created between them.
Nate sat down slowly, afraid to make any sudden movements. If Vanessa got mad, she could get really mad. Was that laugh malevolent, or was it just him? "Huh. They call it the language of love." He blurted. Why did he say that?!?!
Vanessa's jaw tightened, the easiness gone from her face as quickly as it had come. "Yes." She raised the book high enough to hide her face and closed her eyes. She was already tired, and they only made one stop. How long would she have to endure Nate's presence? Didn't he find it extremely uncomfortable and awkward? She sure did, but didn't say anything. Truth was, Vanessa was never able to get over what happened the night at Le Petit Geant. His certainty in how they couldn't fix things, really angered and saddened her.
Nate sighed, and lay down again. He just couldn't get anything right.
-
-Austria-
Vanessa was hot tempered, Nate found out, and he missed the old Vanessa, where he breezed in and out and she would just sigh, content with the soft blowing summer wind. She definitely changed for the worse. He pointed out that they didn't get a chance to go to Spain yet, as they skipped it.
"We should've gone there first, before England." He pointed to the map that we was currently holding on to, slightly crumpled from being hastily stuffing it into his backpack.
Vanessa turned away from the street vendor, temporarily distracted from the delicious Käsekrainer behind her. His mouth watered, and reluctantly turned his eyes to her, suddenly afraid of what she might do.
"Yeah, well…we can go before we leave. Isn't it more sensible to do everything backwards?" She flared up, and whirled around again, giving her two Euros to the vendor, who despite not speaking English knew the boy with the man bangs was going to get into some serious trouble.
Vanessa bit viciously into the hot dog, munching sloppily. Nate smiled despite being yelled at in front of people. This was the Vanessa he loved, not afraid of acting unsophisticated, her breath smelling of spicy pork and goat cheese. She glared at him, and motioned with her hand to follow her. Nate grinned even more wide, and tread obediently behind her, careful not to step on her ankles. He might as well have been wearing a leash, although he didn't need one. He would go anywhere with her. He found it ironic that when they were together, things didn't go right, and when they weren't one entity, Nate would do anything for her.
Boys.
"So where to next?" Nate asked cheerfully, although regretting that he didn't buy a Käsekrainer as well. She handed him the hot dog wordlessly, regarding the map herself. He bit into the half eaten hotdog, and groaned a bit, which clearly disturbed her. He snorted, and continued eating. Ah, Vanessa.
"Alright. We could go to Schönbrunn Zoo." Vanessa contemplated, looking up at Nate. "It's the oldest zoo in the world, established in…1752. Cool, eh?"
Nate nodded. He couldn't care less. What did it take for Vanessa to like him again? "Yeah. Cool."
Vanessa rolled her eyes. "Cool."
-
-Schönbrunn Zoo-
Giraffe.
A small stuffed animal, the right size to hold in both hands. Nate gave it to Vanessa, and for a minute, she just stared at it blankly. When she registered the fact that it was hers to keep, she swallowed hard and tried to maintain her equanimity. She found the strength from somewhere deep down inside her to shake her head, in which Nate put it back in his backpack, with a small frown.
That's when Nate decided to get drunk.
-
-Schönen Chaos -
"That's it. Come on, put your arm around my shoulders-hey, my shoulders, not my waist." Vanessa grunted under the weight of the currently drunk but impossibly cute Nate, his bangs falling into his blurry watery eyes, breathing heavily through his mouth, smelling strongly of Ottakringer's signature beer, half lemonade, with an alcohol percent of 5.2. Still, he had a lot of steins.
They headed out of the pub, the men still slopping beer down their front and singing the German anthem drunkenly. Out in the streets, tourists were still milling around the streets, taking pictures, laughing out loud. It was drizzling outside, enough to wet your clothes and mat your hair, but not enough for it to be called an official rainfall. She regretted that she wore her best item of clothing, a teal jersey dress, with black abstract prints all over it. Jenny sewed it for her 16st birthday, and it still fit. There was something extremely sentimental about it, the fact that she didn't want to throw it away. Maybe she yearned to keep some recollection of how it used to be, simple, serene.
Nate was still clenching her waist painfully sweet, obviously not taking her direction seriously. Murmuring, he attempted to straighten up, and instead stumbled over his own feet. He stopped, his clumsy hands stopping Vanessa's moving body, dragging him back to their hotel.
They stood a little out of range of the streetlamp light, falling short of it, Vanessa rocking unsteadily on her black cowboy boots. That was sentimental to her too, even though it didn't fit the outfit well. She went with Ruby back to Vermont for winter vacation once, and she bought them on impulse, using Ruby's money. After, Ruby had to eat Ramen noodles for a week. She laughed a little at the memory.
Nate studied her, even though he was a bit tipsy. His words came out slurred. "They match your eyes…" He said.
Vanessa threw a quizzical look at him, and rolled her eyes. "All right, come on, let's go…" She refused to meet his eyes, and sighed in frustration when he didn't follow her. "Nate, I told you, let's go."
She unwillingly turned back to face him, an exasperated look on her face, when she realized he was close to her. Indeed, very very close to her.
They kissed.
-Hohes Haus-
Nate woke up very disoriented, and in a completely different room. He felt frightened, much like he did when he was eight years old, and fell asleep on his mother's lap in a limo, waking up with a Spanish speaking nanny looking at him in a rocking chair next to his bed. He cried and cried, not recognizing that it was his bedroom in the Hamptons.
Right then, a woman with fiery red hair stepped out of the bathroom with a simple mint colored summer dress on, a strangely conservative look compared with Vanessa's bangles and drop earrings. He leapt up from the bed, still wearing his jeans and t-shirt from last night, reeking of alcohol. The woman clearly thought so too, wrinkling her nose in a cute fashion.
"Ugh, you stink." She laughed, then seized right away, for she realized he was apprehensive of her. She sighed, and shook her head, apologetic.
"Sorry, this must be scary for you. I'm Bree." She put forth her hand, and he didn't shake it. She dropped it and continued. "I saw you sleeping on the steps of the Austrian Parliament Building, drunk. The guards were about to arrest you, but," She smiled, "I rescued you. I knew you were American."
She smiled tentatively, and he smiled uncertainly back. She didn't seem like a rapist, and she had a southern accent too. "I searched through your bag," Again, she smiled apologetically, "and I called your girlfriend, who is it? Vanessa?" She pondered awhile, moving across the room towards him. "Anyway, I don't think she's your girlfriend anymore."
He shook his head. He was grateful of course, but couldn't remember why he was left alone to sleep on the steps of the Hohes Haus, alone.
Ah, he remembered.
As simple as it was, it still vexed him. Vanessa got mad, pushed him away, rambling on and on about their friendship status, hastily wiping away the angry tears. All he wanted to do was to kiss her again, run his hand up and down her back, soothing her. But she walked away, the hem of her jersey dress swaying, making him dizzy.
"Now," Bree went on, unaware of his flashback, "while you get over your hangover, I'll…get us some breakfast." She turned around abruptly. "You're not going to leave, are you?"
He shook his head without thinking. All he wanted was a toilet bowl, as he was about to hurl.
Bree smiled, and guiltily, he found this girl pretty. He wondered where Vanessa was now.
As he lay back down-after puking, of course-, he thought more about the kiss in the rain. It sounded more romantic than it seemed. How do you say it in German? Oh, got it. Shönen Chaos.
A/N~ So yeah. Review?
Go to the site of Bergdorf Goodmans.
Vanessa's dress: Search up abstract jersey dress. Click on it.
Bree's dress: Search up satin faille dress. Click on it.