Chow's New Job
By
Crayola Emoticon
Disclaimer: I do not own Jackie Chan Adventures or anything related to such. I am only borrowing some characters for entertainment, not profit.
13B13B
"This sucks!"
That was Chow, of course. Tarakudo had been defeated, and the Enforcers were, as per usual, out of a job. Which was why the excitable, kitten-faced man was ranting as they walked down the street.
"Hey, hey. Calm down, Chow. It's not all bad."
"Yeah! That sunset is sure pretty!"
Finn and Chow stared at Ratso, eyebrows raised.
"What?"
Finn sighed, clapping a hand on the small man's shoulder. "Anyways, things are gonna get better."
"Hey! These honey buns are great!"
What buns? Finn and Chow again turned to Ratso to see him munching on some rather questionable-looking pastries.
"Uhhh… Ratso?" Finn began.
"Yeah?"
"Where'd you get those?" Chow finished, pointing at said items.
Ratso shrugged. "Trash can."
There was a pause in which Chow's eye might have twitched. (We can never tell because of those weird orange glasses he's always wearing.) Then he snapped.
"!"
He took off running down the street, screaming. Finn and Ratso stared in shock for a moment, then took off after him.
"Chow! Wait!"
"C'mon, little buddy!"
They finally caught up to him by the piers. He was doubled over, hands on his knees, panting and exhausted after his freak-out.
Finn again clapped his hand on his shoulder. "As I was saying, I saw a Help Wanted ad in the paper. Three bussing positions open at a restaurant. That's where we're headed."
"Really? I thought we were just wandering around aimlessly." Ratso commented, touching a finger to his lower lip.
Finn glared at him, then turned back to Chow. "The place is just across the street. Catch your breath and we'll head in."
Chow took a few deep breaths, then fixed Finn a sharp look. "Why didn't you tell us?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"I wanted it to be a surprise."
"Oh."
"Eh. Let's go." Chow said, getting up and dusting himself off.
The restaurant was called Santago's. (I made that up! If it's the name of a real restaurant, I'm sorry!) They were greeted at the door by a woman who'd had so many treatments to look younger that she actually looked older.
Finn turned on the charm. "Hi, we're looking for a job…"
"We only have girls working here. And very convincing cross-dressers. You folks won't fool anyone. Come inside and we'll get you something to eat." So saying, she stepped aside, discreetly pulling Chow aside as he walked past.
"You'll do." She said to him and dragged him to the back.
"Girls! Makeover!"
"WHAT!" was all Chow could manage before he was tackled by about eight girls, all squealing like banshees.
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There aren't very many alcoholic beverages here, Finn mused as he pored over the menu.
"Hey, where's Chow?" Ratso asked.
Finn glanced up. Chow was indeed missing. "Uhh…"
"I passed him on his way to the bathroom."
"GWAH!" The lady had sneaked up on them. "What'll you have to drink?"
"I'll have a root beer." Finn replied.
"And I'll have a cream soda."
"Hey, Ratso."
"What?"
"What's Chow usually drink?"
"Uhh… Cherry cola. Unless the place doesn't have any. Then he gets a Sprite."
Finn turned to the lady. "Which do you have?"
She smiled. "Both, actually."
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"HELP!"
Chow struggled to get free, but the girls had him pinned. They had stripped him to his boxers and waxed his legs and underarms. One was now straddling him and taking measurements. She took off his glasses and examined his face, turning it from side to side. Then she stood up and shouted "STRAWBERRY KIWI!" A bundle of clothes was thrown to her. "Flip him over."
Chow didn't have time to protest before he landed on his stomach. His boxers were ripped off, to be replaced by panties. What the heck!
He was flipped back around and his legs were forced into a pair of pale pink, calf length leggings. When that was done, he was yanked to his feet and crammed into a seafoam-green Chinese-cut dress with pink pattern and trim.
"The Chair."
Wait! What! What chair!
He was dragged to an overstuffed armchair where he was tied down with wide ribbon so that if he tried to escape, it wouldn't cut into his skin.
One of the girls brought cute little seafoam green shoes, then started painting his fingernails while another did his make-up.
"Your complexion is so perfect! I won't have to use any foundation! Well, except for around your eyes." She said. "But these eyebrows! They need to be waxed."
Chow shuddered. His legs and underarms still stung from the last waxing. He did NOT want it on his face.
"!" #Rip-rip#
"!"
She cleaned off his face and applied blush, then got out a case of multi-coloured eyeliners. There were so many colours, it may as well have been a box of coloured pencils. She put some on his eyes, making them appear larger and coordinating with the outfit. Then the mascara. That was rather frightening.
The girl who had painted his nails clapped her hands and said, "Hair extensions, here!"
Chow's hair, with the extensions attached, was pulled, yanked, and twisted until it was up in two twin buns, with his bangs delicately framing his face.
"All done!" the girls chorused as they showed him to a mirror.
Chow didn't recognize himself. He actually looked like a girl.
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Finn and Ratso were almost done with their meal. They'd had spaghetti. Next to Finn, Chow's plate of spaghetti remained untouched.
Finn sighed. "He's been in the bathroom an awful long time. D'you think he's alright?"
"Aw, maybe he's constipated. Stress can do that to ya."
"Hmm." Finn wasn't convinced.
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When they were done, a cute Chinese girl in a seafoam green dress came to collect their dishes. Finn, predictably, turned on the charm.
"Hey, gorgeous. How's it goin'?" He asked, flashing his best wolf grin. She just gave him a flat stare and motioned to Chow's untouched meal.
"You done with these?"
"No. We're saving that for a friend."
The girl raised an eyebrow at this and whisked away the dishes, leaving Chow's on the table. For the rest of the evening, she was kept busy bussing the tables. Every time she went by their table, Finn would attempt to flirt with her. He was shot down every time, and was even slapped when he caressed her rear.
Finally, at closing time, she flopped down in Chow's seat. Finn leaned over and opened his mouth, but before he could get a word out, she glared at him and barked, "FINN! SHUT. UP!"
Ratso and Finn gaped at her, then Finn gulped.
"Uhh…Chow?"
"Yeah?" She glared some more.
"Why are you in a dress?"
"Don't ask me! Ask those crazy girls! Anyways, have you seen my glasses?"
"… No."
"Here ya go!" This was the girl who had taken measurements. She set them on the table and left.
Chow put them on and his friends finally recognized him. He quickly ate his spaghetti, then took the dishes back to the kitchen.
There, the lady was waiting for him. "Be sure to get here an hour earlier tomorrow. You did a great job!"
Chow digested this. "Does this mean I'm hired?"
"Yep! The extra hour's so you can get ready. Now go get some rest!" She handed him his clothes and shooed him out.
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On their way home, the friends were all thinking different things.
Chow was thinking: I've got a job! I've got a job!
Ratso thought: That outfit really made Chow look like a girl…
And Finn berated himself. I can't believe I was flirting with my best friend!