Mass Effect: QnA
Summary: The Mass Effect crew responds to questions/comments made by the fans. Nothing serious, just pure entertainment :) Disclaimer: I don't own Mass Effect or any of their characters, ok?
Chapter 1:
Fr: BastionBoozer
What are you most afraid of?
Cmmdr Shepard (M): Well, BastionBoozer. I've romanced at least five different women over the course of the trilogy. So if I have to be afraid of something, I'd be scared of what would happen to me if those women ever found out I've been playin' around. You know what I mean? And... (Shepard suddenly stops, feeling a number of ominous presences appear behind him. Three of which are glowing with barely restrained biotic power) And... Those women are right behind me, aren't they?... Dammit...
Tali Zorah: Gee... I'm embarrased to say this but a lot of things scare me in this universe. I mean, we have the Collectors, the Geth, the Yahg, Sovereign, Harbinger, Rachni and Husks. But the one thing I'm afraid of the most is... (Something drops down at Tali's feet which causes her to jump back screaming in fear while drawing her shotgun)... "Spiders! *Bang!* Spiders! *Bang!* Spiders! *Bang* Spiders! *Bang* SPIDERS! *Bang!*" (Kasumi can be seen smiling mischievously in the background)
Liara T'Soni: I was an archeologist before I became the Shadow Broker so a lot of things I've seen in some digsites scares me witless. So frankly speaking, I'm glad that the only holes I'm crawling through these days are the electronic kinds and not something deep and dark where something can jump you out of nowhere. The only person permitted to 'jump' me nowadays is Shepard. :)
Fr: MyFairAsari
What do you do to relax?
Garrus Vakarian: Well... I used to shoot people in the eye from abandoned buildings to relax myself. But I got half my face blown off for my trouble so now, I just like calibrating really big guns that can kill building sized, squid shaped monsters. Does that count? I can't really tell if it's an improvement or not.
Jack: Relax? RELAX?! You really f*king think I can f*king relax in f*king times like these?! I've got f*king kids to teach! F*king homeworks to grade! And I've also been told to watch my f*king language! The only f*king thing I can do to relax is to probably f*king tear you apart with my mind for asking f*king dumba* questions like that!
Mordin Solus: From medical and scientific standpoint, plenty of ways to relax. Can sleep, read or listen to music. Personally prefer multi-tasking though. Can relax while conducting important experiments or research with mood music in the background. Would like to go to beach and run tests on seashells though.
Fr: CuriousAsF*k
What is the strangest thing you've ever seen in your life.
Miranda Lawson: Charming name CuriousAsF*k. Real classy. First off, I was in Cerberus so with the cybernetically zombified soldiers, the insane cyborg assassin and the Reaper possessed head of the organization, strange is pretty much a given there. But if you really want to know the specifics of the strangest things I've seen in my life, then I'm afraid my answer can only be summed up in one just as specific word... Classified.
Urdnot Wrex: When you've lived as long as I have little pyjack, what many may think is strange is just another day at the office for me. Granted that not many beings can actually get to my age nowadays but that simply just means that if there is actually something that I'll find strange, then you should start to worry.
Ashley Williams: Well CuriousAsF*k (Snickers on the side), I was trained to be prepared for anything as a Marine. But I'd like to think that my life had been relatively normal and actually a little boring. But of course, that all changed when this biga* squid came down planetside and started dumping flashlights all over the place. And that was BEFORE I knew Shepard. Of course, the things I've seen since I actually did meet him that registered on my wierd s*t-o-meter jumped up quite a few notches so yeah... I think it's safe to say that I can lay all the blame (And whatever therapy bills i may incur) to that squarely at the feet of Commander Shepard.
Author's Notes: Something new for your amusement folks. If you wanna contribute any questions I should ask, please do so. Till then, RR pls. :)