AN: So here's the deal. I don't own True Blood or Southern Vampire mysteries and copyright belongs to Charlaine Harris.

I sat down to work on a chapter of Three Makes Family but this ended up coming out instead. I don't know where it came from and I had no idea if it was going anywhere, but I believe in following where my imagination leads.

Summary: Sookie decides to make a new start away from the vampire that has broken her heart. Will she find happiness? Will Eric let her go? Starts after book 8. Some AU.

Love shouldn't hurt

I closed my eyes tight and tried to hold back the tears. It was futile. Hot streams ran down my cheeks as I struggled to hold in the screams of agony I could taste on my lips. I loved him. It was a simple fact that I had tried so hard to deny. I loved him, but I couldn't stand this pain anymore. It would kill me.

Turning back to take one last look at the house, the Stackhouse farmhouse that had been the home of my family for generations, I silently wished that I could put all this suffering behind me.

It was all so much easier than I had imagined; while being so much harder. The things had been packed in no more than a couple of hours. The arrangements made and letters written. It was actually taking the steps necessary to reach the car and driving away that were the hard parts. Every cell in my body seemed to scream in pain at the idea of leaving. I forced my body forward, it was the only way.

Hastily driving down my driveway; I didn't want to risk being caught when the sun went down, I thought about the dream that had started all this.

It had been three nights ago. I had gone to bed after a rather long shift at Merlotte's bar and grill. In my dream I had been engaged to Eric Northman, the local vampire sheriff. We had been sitting in the office of his bar, Fangtasia, and had calmly been discussing our upcoming wedding. I had been snuggled on his lap and as we talked he trailed his fingers along my arms. It had been a lovely dream. I had felt every ounce of his love; just as I had accepted the depth of my feelings for him. He had talked to me about guests and flowers just as easily as he had discussed our living arrangements after the nuptials. It had been everything I could have wanted from a future husband….so, when I woke; it was to floods of tears. Instantly I had realised three things. I was deeply and irrevocably in love with Eric. I would never have the kind of relationship I needed from the Viking Vampire as long as he was complete with all his memories. If I stayed in Bon Temps I would always be at the mercy of Eric and other vampires. I knew the only way to free myself of this pain was to leave.

So, I packed and wrote my letters goodbye. I haven't told a soul, not even my roommate, Amelia. I'm using my savings to move to New York City.

I don't want to go. You have to understand this. I love my home and all the people in my life. I really do love Eric. You may wonder why I am running away when I have so many reasons to stay. The answer is easy. Every day that I live here, in love with someone who barely acknowledges my existence, I feel a part of my heart wither and die. It's killing me.

I know Eric has been under stress lately. He only just regained his memories from when we were together and he was cursed. To make matters worse, he has also been placed under the rule of a new king, Felipe De Castro. I know all this means I should be more understanding but all I can think about is how he has treated me over this last year. I am nothing but a lowly human to him. If he ever felt anything for me it is long dead. I'm alone. I'm scared and I am sick of hurting.

Sure, I bet some of you think I am a coward or a bitch but how much pain does a person have to suffer before they are allowed to move on? I know Eric well enough to know that if he wanted to be with me he would have let me know it. Eric doesn't hold back from what he wants. He tells it straight and he drives right in. I'm alone and it hurts.

The drive to the airport is easy enough. I'm flying to Washington where I get a transfer flight to NYC. I'm not excited. Tears continue to fall the whole way there. I hate myself for leaving like this but deep down I know I have to save myself.

Blocking the thoughts of concerned strangers I finally find myself walking out into Times Square. A cloud of despair seems to have followed me so I am unable to admire the urban beauty surrounding me. The streets are busy, even this late at night. The illuminations of street signs and traffic are a stark contrast to the dark quiet I am used to. I trudge out into the hotel lobby, my case trailing behind.

The receptionist is pleasant if impersonal as she takes my booking information and hands over my room key. This is just for a couple of nights. I am going to find an apartment and a job first thing tomorrow.

"Thank for choosing us, Miss Stackhouse," she cheers as she turns back to look at her computer screen. Nodding I walk away and head for the elevator. My phone is ringing again. I can feel the vibrations in my pocket. I don't answer.

The room is…hell it's a hotel room. It looks just like every other hotel room you can imagine. There's a view, a bed and an ensuite bathroom. I fall into the bed still fully clothed. Curling up into a ball I let out the sobs that have been building. My chest aches and my stomach contracts as I heave out my sobs. I just want the pain to go away.

ERIC POV

WHAT. THE. FUCK? A strange mixture of rage and fear course through me as I stare down at my desk and the letter. I have read it a thousand times at this point, but, still I do not understand. She left.

I tried ringing her the second I rose to find the bond diminished. After five failed attempts I flew to her house. All I found was a hysterical witch and a letter with my name on it. I don't understand. She left.

Dear Eric

I love you. I will always love you but loving you is killing me.

I can't do this anymore, Eric. I can't pretend that not being with you doesn't tear me up inside. I can't live a life where I always feel trapped and controlled. I need to be free and I need the pain to stop.

I love you but I won't waste what few human years I have waiting for a silly dream to come true.

Don't try to find me. I need to forget the pain and find happiness again, somehow.

Always yours in my heart,

Sookie xxx

WHAT. THE. FUCK? She really fucking left?

"I told you!" Looking away from the enigma in my hand I glare at my child. Pam, as usual, hasn't even knocked before entering my office and sitting herself at my desk. "I told you she loved you just as much as you loved her. From the looks of it, she loves you more. You broke her heart, Eric. You belittled her and ignored her until her loneliness and misery were all she had left. I don't blame her for leaving!"

"Watch it, Pam!" I snapped. Women! In all my thousand years I have never understood them. She's my fucking bonded! I love that woman with everything inside me. How could she leave? How could Pam agree with her actions?

"Don't get huffy with me, Eric. I'm just explaining it. I am sick of all this confusion coming over the bond. What are you going to do?" She looks at me with a hint of a smile on her lips. I can feel how much she is enjoying this.

"I…I…I don't know," I finally admit. Every instinct in me is screaming to chase after her. To track her down and drag her back home. Normally I wouldn't ignore an instinct but I never thought she would leave. She says not to follow her…

"Get a fucking grip, Eric!" Pam snaps. Blinking myself out of my thoughts I notice my child is now glaring at me.

"I am so pleased I shared this with you, Pamela," I retort. To think I had hoped for her support…

"What do you want me to do? Give you a cuddle and tell you everything will be alright? I don't fucking think so!" She crossed her legs and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "You know exactly what you need to do, Eric. Stop being a pussy and face facts. You love that girl. In all honesty, it scares me shitless. I'm not so sure you would survive if anything happened to our little telepath." Pausing to prevent her tears from falling, Pam tried to collect herself. She was right. I wouldn't survive if anything happened to Sookie. I had never felt anything this powerful in all my years and I didn't want to live a day without feeling this way. Somehow, that stubborn little telepath had crept into my cold, dead heart and made me love her. Even more amazing, she loved me back. "So, get your balls back and fight for her! If Sookie fucking Stackhouse is what you need to be happy, Eric, then you need to figure out how to make it work….and don't even fucking try to pretend you don't secretly want to do everything you can to make her little human heart burst with joy. She's not just some slut blood bag; she's your bonded. I know you want to provide for her and protect her….so be the man she wants you to be and go get her!"

I had to admit…she was right. I, Eric Northman, badass Viking Sheriff of Area five was desperate to make my bonded yield to me…not in fear or manipulation but out of overwhelming joy. I wanted to be her….Gods; I wanted to be her everything, just as she was mine.

"Are you done?" I challenged cockily as I raised an eyebrow at Pam. It wouldn't do to admit she was right, I'd never hear the end of it.

"Yes, Eric. I'm done. What are you waiting for?" I was impressed. I was sending every warning signal I had out to my child but she ignored them and glowered back at me.

"I don't even know where she has gone. I cannot feel her this far away. Then there is the slight problem of convincing the stubborn creature to come home…surely you do not expect me to run off without a thought at the logistics?"

Huffing, Pam raised her hands in the air and spat, "Men!" Before waltzing out of my office and into the heavily populated bar. My inner caveman did a happy dance for men everywhere. It was always nice to annoy the fairer sex, just because I could.

Folding the letter carefully I placed it in the top draw of my desk before logging on to my laptop. Sookie was going to learn just how important she was. I would make sure she never cried another tear over me as long as she lived. I would make her so incandescently happy for loving me that she would never even contemplate leaving again. It was time to start the hunt.

Sookie POV

The days went by so fast. At first I was so immobilised by my grief that I did nothing but sleep. Slowly, I found the strength to wander out in search of a new life. It was easy to find what I was looking for- an advantage to being a telepath. A few hours on Wall Street and I was several thousand dollars up. I knew I would be alright. So why did it hurt worse than ever?

I spent most of my time trying to block the cacophony of 'voices' from my mind as I searched for somewhere to live. I had enough money and it was easy here to make a living but I wanted to have a new home. Nowhere seemed good enough.

Eventually I settled on a small place on the upper west side. It overlooked central park and was near the local subway; making it easier to get into Manhattan. As I was renting the guy seemed happy to let me move in straight away…with a slight financial incentive. I guess it helped that I could read how desperate he was to let the place as his wife was just about to give birth to his ninth child and he needed all the cash he could get.

After a week I was settled into a nice routine. I would get up, workout, eat, go to the business district and work for a few hours on the stock market. I would wave off a number of offers from various companies that had noticed my 'gift' of predicting the trends in various markets…if only they knew the real gift was listening to the best in the business. I would eat out for lunch before going for a walk and returning to the apartment to read or watch television. I was NEVER out after dark. I didn't want that sort of attention, just in case.

I knew I was going to have to try and meet people soon. There was no point trying to find a new life and only making myself even lonelier. I just wasn't ready yet. I felt like everything I had known and loved had died, I had died. I needed time to heal and put the past away.

Moving was going well. I had spoken to Amelia and Jason, both of whom had been very supportive if a little sceptical. Even Sam had understood my reasons for leaving…he more than anyone had noticed how low I had been getting. If only I was able to keep my own mind quiet. Late at night, when the city was still alive and kicking, I would think about Eric. I often wondered how he felt with me gone. Did he even care? Was he surprised? I would lie in bed and wonder until eventually I would remember. I would replay every moment we spent together and cry my heart dry. I missed him so much.

Eric's POV

She was in New York. It had taken eight days but eventually my sources had tracked her down. I was amazed that she had chosen there, of all places. I knew how hard to could be on her hearing the thoughts in Fangtasia, so I didn't want to imagine how much she would suffer in such a city. I had to give it to her, though. A city like that was the perfect place to get lost. It had taken me way longer than anticipated to track her and even then it had been blind luck. An associate of mine had spotted her on the street and phoned me. Sometimes it was good to work with the two natured.

As soon as the information was in I was on a plane to the big apple. Pam had given me only one line of encouragement. "Don't fuck it up!"

Landing in the heart of the city, I was rather concerned with how well Sookie had acclimated herself. It seemed she was really serious about making a new life…away from me. I had never thought my little southern Belle would ever manage to leave her home so easily. It frightened me to think how much she must have suffered to find the motivation for such a feet. Never-the- less I knew our course was set. We belonged together.

I wasted no time. Marching up to her door I knocked with all the power I knew I possessed. I took comfort from the bond. It had been hard not feeling her clearly. Ignoring the terror and pain I felt as acutely as if they were my own emotions, I waited patiently for the door to open. There was no answer.

"Come now, Sookie. I have travelled all this way. The least you can do is open the door so we may talk," I calmly called through the wood. It irritated me that she didn't trust me enough to let me in her home.

"I told you not to follow me, Eric," she retorted sternly.

"A foolish request that you knew I would never abide. Let me in, Sookie. I promise on our bond that no harm will come to you. I just wish to talk to you." I was NOT comforted by the surge of blind panic I felt coming from my little telepath, however, despite her obvious reluctance she opened the door.

Her hair was free to tumble down her shoulders like a golden halo. Her eyes were bright sapphires but I could see red sore patches around them as if she had cried too much. She was wearing a raged pair of grey sweat pants and a plain grey t-shirt. She was as beautiful as any queen I had ever seen.

"Come in, Eric." The words were whispered but I still detected the tremor in her voice, as if she was holding in a sob.

I knew without question I should go slowly. I should measure every movement and contemplate every syllable. I knew I should tread lightly so as not to frighten my spooked mate. I knew that if I pushed too hard she could bolt and I would never see her again. I knew all this…so when I saw her sad, sore eyes and heard her voice quiver…I swooped her up in my arms and peppered kisses all over her face.

Sitting on the small sofa, I placed Sookie in my lap and held her tight to my chest. "I love you so much, dear one. I am so sorry for causing you pain. I'm so sorry, Sookie!"

Sookie POV

I didn't have chance to blink. One moment I had been terrified and holding back tears as I faced the vampire who held my heart. The next moment I am in said vampires lap and he is gushing like a teenage boy. I was stunned. The pain was still as fierce as ever but for a brief moment the shock overshadowed it. I NEVER thought I would hear this vampire speak to me like this again.

"I don't understand," I whispered. It was true, I really didn't understand. Why was he here?

"It's really quite simple, dear one," he explained as he lightly kissed along my cheek and down my neck. "I love you. I love you so much that I will meet the sun the day you die. I cannot lose you, Sookie." He paused and placed a finger under my chin, forcing me to look him in the eyes. Again, I was stunned by what I saw. I could see all the pain and loss I had been feeling. I could see the tender Eric I had fallen so completely in love with. "I am so sorry for treating you as of you were insignificant. The fact that I could not remember is inconsequential. I knew both how you felt for me and how I felt for you, but I was too weak to admit to something so emotional. I robbed us both of time and happiness." Here he paused again. I could feel his remorse as it melded with his love for me. He stood, placing me on the sofa.

"I can't live feeling like this, Eric. You know I love you, but it really hurts. Love shouldn't hurt like this. I just want to live my life, be happy…I can't take this pain all the time." I couldn't hold back the tears now; they rolled along my cheeks like little traitors. Eric looked physically pained as he saw my tears. He got on his knees before me and cupped my face tenderly in his hands.

"I want you to be mine, Sookie. I want us to be together…forever. I will do whatever I have to do to make this happen. I swear I will love you and give you everything in my power so as you never have to hurt for loving me, not ever again!" He pressed his forehead to mine as he spoke. "I love you, Sookie Stackhouse. I love you and I need you in my life, please."

Looking into his eyes I felt my heart start to beat erratically. I loved this creature with every fibre of my being, but still I saw no hope for us. I wanted to say yes. I wanted to let him sweep me up in his arms and take me home. I wanted him but I knew I had to protect myself. This vampire could kill me so easily.

"I don't see how we could ever work, Eric." I told him honestly. "You're a Sheriff and need to be able to feed and fuck anything that walks. I'm a barmaid that wants a family and commitment. We are too different, Eric. I could never ask you to sacrifice anything for me and the compromises we would have to make are too big." My voice cracked several times as I spoke. I felt like every word uttered was a knife to my heart. It was a feeling only compounded by the devastation Eric was sending over the bond.

"I am a Sheriff, which means I can do as I wish. I do not want to feed off anyone but you. I do not want to fuck anyone but you. I want to love you, honour you and treasure you. Give us a chance, Sookie." He stood to his full height and looked down at me with pleading eyes. I felt my mouth water at the sight of him. He truly was magnificent.

"But where would we live? What could I do for a living? How would you keep me safe among the other supernaturals?" Taking each of my questions in stride, he sat beside me and curled me up into his arms.

"We can live anywhere you want. I have several homes, although my main residence is in Shreveport. We can buy a new home, should you wish it. Or, if you like, I can live as I always have and you can return to your own home. I will move to Bon Temps, if you want. We have many options, Sookie." He kissed me lightly before continuing. "The protection thing is inconsequential. You will be hunted by supernaturals as long as you live, no matter what, and I will always do everything I can to keep you safe. As for work, you can do anything you wish. I have many businesses and you can work for any of them. Or, I could help you start your own business. You are a very bright and talented creature, Sookie. What do you want to do with your life?" I could feel his belief in me flow through the bond. It made the tears in my eyes flow faster.

"I don't know," I answered weakly. I had never thought much of my options before but this week alone I had proved to myself I was capable to using my gift for financial gain. Eric must have sensed I was becoming lost in my thoughts. He brushed his hand through my hair and cupped the back of my head before kissing my forehead.

"You have time to figure it out. The real question is do you want me, Sookie?"

"Yes, Eric, of course I do! I love you." I didn't even have to think about it. I was blasted with joy and love over the bond; I couldn't help but smile as I saw the wide grin spread across Eric's handsome face.

"Then will you come home with me, Sookie? Will you give us a chance and be mine?" He already knew what my answer would be. I could feel the smug confidence emanating from him. Briefly, my mind wandered over all the possibilities he had laid before me. Only one stood out. I wanted to be with him. I wanted us to have a life together. It was in that moment I finally stopped running. I realised that I would never be happy without him in my life. I could try to protect myself in any number of ways but the truth was I hurt because I longed for him. Nothing else mattered.

"Yes, Eric. I'll give us a chance. I love you; I already am yours."

Eric POV

My fangs popped out on hearing such a wonderful declaration. I would remember this moment for the rest of eternity as being one of the most significant in my life. Sookie had finally accepted me of her own free will. Could vampires find heaven on earth?

"As I am yours, dear one," I promised before kissing her passionately. For one split second I was worried about hurting her in my fervour but at the onslaught of my desire I felt a crash of her own need for me. The kiss deepened and my hands began to explore her delectable body. She moaned into the kiss, only causing my passions to inflame further.

Before long Sookie had begun to tug at my clothes, just as eager as I to demonstrate our love for each other through a physical union. Breaking away for the briefest of moments I yanked off both my clothes and hers, not caring one iota when I heard the fabric tear. Our lips found each other again and I let my hands tease her nipples before trailing down to her centre. I groaned, finding her wet for me.

"Bed," Sookie ordered as she attached her mouth to my neck and skimmed her hands down my back. Quick to oblige, I pulled her up into my arms and carried her to the small bedroom.

I stood staring down at a breathless Sookie as she lay waiting for me on the bed. She was a feast for my eyes and I sent a small prayer to the gods in thanks. I attacked her nipples with my mouth, holding her down with my hands on her hips. She writhed and moaned under me but I showed her no quarter. When I sensed through our wonderful bond that she could take no more, I moved down to attack her centre. My tongue licked her clit at vampire speed as I plunged two fingers into her hot, warm centre. Sookie screamed in pleasure, her orgasm coming quick and hard. I kept going. Determined to worship her and give her pleasure beyond comprehension, I teased her with my mouth until I had wrung four orgasms from her. She was quivered beneath me and her heart was fluttering, like a hummingbird's wings.

"Please, Eric," she begged with tears in her ears. "I need you, please." Not wanting to hold out on her, I thrust in all the way. She screamed before thrusting her hips up to meet mine.

Our pace was fast and frantic. We were crazed with desire and a raw need to be as close as possible to each other. I had never felt anything so erotic in my long existence. It was clear that Sookie had been born for me. She was everything I could want and more.

"Oh God, Eric!" She groaned as small bursts of pleasure shot through her. I could feel her approaching the edge, she was close.

"I love you, Sookie. Let us be one." Understanding flashed in her eyes right before she moved her mouth to my neck. Kissing me lightly first, she bit down and drank deep. Overwhelmed by ecstasy I sank my fangs into her throat and let her delicious blood flow into my mouth. I drank deep, knowing I wouldn't hold out long. The bond became magnified and I could feel Sookie as deeply as if we were indeed one person. Infused with her goodness and light, I thrust hard into her and enjoyed the way she contracted around me, coming violently. I came soon after, roaring into the night.

We settled down into the covers, me still deep inside her as she cuddled into me. I could have lain like that, cocooned with Sookie, for the rest of eternity. The desire between us now sated, I could feel nothing but love and devotion flow between us over the bond.

"I love you, Eric," she whispered sweetly before placing a gentle kiss on my chest and drifting off to sleep.

I placed my face in her hair and let my own eyes drift shut. I inhaled her glorious scent and once again marvelled at my good fortune. Stubborn, insecure and proud, I had never met a creature as wonderful as Sookie Stackhouse. How in the hell had I managed to make her love me back? What had I done to get so lucky?

I cradled her small, warm body to me as she slept. Every second I thanked the gods for giving me such a gift. I would treasure her and together we would be a force to be reckoned with.