Petey wonders if the world would be better off without him, considering not even Jimmy can remember his full name. He wishes that he was never born, and while it seems that the world really would be better off without him, he realises just how important he is for one person.
"Hey, Pete," Jimmy greeted, sliding onto the sofa next to the younger boy. Petey simply nodded, keeping his eyes focused on the fuzzy television picture. Jimmy frowned. "What's up with you?"
Glaring, Pete said: "Oh, I don't know, maybe the fact that we were supposed to meet up today. Of course, you forgot, though."
Jimmy bit his lip. "That was today?" he asked quietly, and when Pete nodded angrily, he sighed. "Look, Pete, Zoe really needed help with some math. You know how Mr Hattrick is."
Pete shrugged. "Every time I ask you for help with my homework you always seem to have plans with Zoe. Why do you never cancel with her?"
Chuckling, Jimmy said: "No, you're right. I'm sorry. How 'bout we go to the boxing gym afterschool tomorrow? I heard Bif's boxing this week."
However, Pete wasn't completely convinced. Jimmy had screwed him over so many times and was always unreliable when it came to him. With anyone else he'd do everything for them, but not Pete. It was like he was just there to be used by Jimmy whenever the older boy was bored.
"I don't know, Jimmy," he said hesitantly, scratching the back of his head. He may have been annoyed with Jimmy, but that didn't make him any less cautious of him.
Jimmy raised his eyebrows. "C'mon, Pete. Here, look," he started, pushing himself off the couch and getting down on one knee. "I, Jimmy Hopkins, promise that I will never stand up, you, Peter…Kowal…Koal…Kwal…"
And that was the last straw. Pete stood up suddenly, storming away from Jimmy and into his dorm room. Jimmy attempted to follow him, but Pete slammed the door in his face, preventing any sort of physical contact with the younger boy.
"Pete," Jimmy called, knocking on the door. "Don't be such a dork! I'm sorry."
"Go away, Jimmy. You're a jerk!" Pete yelled, sitting down on his bed.
Jimmy looked at the door, going to knock again, before deciding to leave the boy alone. He liked having Pete as a friend, but the boy got way too offended by things. It wasn't just Pete's surname he didn't know after all…heck, he used to make out with Angie and Christy on a daily basis, and he still didn't know Angie's surname. The only reason he knew Christy's was because Wade threatened to kick his ass if he so much as "hurt his sister".
But Pete felt he had a right to feel offended. He had stuck by Jimmy since the latter's first day at Bullworth and had even earned the title of being Jimmy's "best friend". Well, if he was Jimmy's best friend, then why didn't Jimmy know his name? Or remember that while he had a girlfriend, he still needed to keep track of his friends too?
Maybe it was because that Jimmy was Pete's only friend did he feel so upset. Everybody wanted to Jimmy's friend…all the girls wanted to be Jimmy's girlfriend. Heck, some of the boys even wanted to be Jimmy's boyfriend. And yet, even as the head boy, nobody wanted to be Pete's friend.
"What's even my purpose in this school?" Pete said aloud, knowing that nobody would care what he said. They'd probably act as if he hadn't said anything at all.
There wasn't really much purpose for him outside of Bullworth either, he thought. His parents didn't want him home, even for the summer, although that was the case for many students. But even on the outside, the adults didn't want to know him. He couldn't get a job anywhere, with most of the adults saying he was "too young" or "to small".
Pete would have believed it, considering he was only fourteen and on the smaller side, however Kirby was fourteen, too, and he was the same height as Pete, and yet he'd been given a job in the carnival.
"Maybe it's 'cause you look like a girl and act like one," Kirby spat venomously at Pete when he asked Crystal why he couldn't have a job as simple as selling popcorn.
Pete glared at him. "You know, I heard the bullies were coming to the carnival for some fun, this afternoon. I'm sure Trent would love to give you a bite of his corndog," he said.
Kirby quit his job right there on the spot, however Crystal still didn't give Pete the job.
"Maybe next year, sugar," she said before her attention to Vance and Hal, both of whom were armed with baseball bats. They had their eyes set on a few preppies, who seemed to be on the lookout for something.
That was the thing. Pete didn't belong to any clique; he didn't have a leader, or a role. Even the other non-clique students had friends, though: Constantinos had Christy, Ray had Eunice, Angie had everyone, Ivan had Trevor...it seemed Pete didn't have a friend at all.
Confining himself to his room for his stay at Bullworth really did steer people away from him. Even the nerds picked on him, that was certainly saying something.
"I wish I'd never been born," he said to nobody, curling into himself on the bed. It wasn't even seven yet, but he was just so tired. Tired of everyone. Tired of living.
Maybe tomorrow, there'd be change. He doubted it, though.
XXX
The first thing Petey noticed when he woke up the next day, was that everything was cold. Bullworth was a pretty cold place, especially in winter, but this was a whole new level. Pete was freezing.
Next, he noticed that everything was dull. It almost seemed colourless, but Pete could just make out the colours of what were meant to be there. From a distance, though, they looked gray.
And finally, he had no shadow.
"What the hell?" he said quietly. He was no longer in his dorm room; instead, he was standing in-front of the school, students bustling past him, back and forth.
He screamed when Melody skipped right through him. He grabbed his skin, pinching harshly, however nothing happened. It was as if he was a ghost.
There were many voices, however they were just the voices that he encountered every day on his way to class. They all seemed jumbled together today, though.
"Have you seen the new kid, yet?"
"The new kid thinks he's so tough."
"I think the new kid's so hot!"
"You like that crane? It was a tiger, not a crane!"
"Ooooh, I'm so angry!"
Bullworth were expecting a new kid? Weird, Bullworth almost never got new kids, Pete thought. Sure, it was a private school, and quite respected, but a lot of people in New England knew it was bad news.
The last new kid Bullworth had seen was Jimmy. Pete wondered where he was.
And then, Pete saw him, saw Jimmy. He was angrily walking towards the school entrance, clad in a brown, heavy jacket and jeans.
Pete remembered this Jimmy. Before Jimmy the leader, he was Jimmy the hostile, aggressive new kid who picked fights with everyone. That was what Christy rumoured him to be like, anyway, though Pete barely listened to her.
Curious, Pete followed Jimmy up the stairs. Everyone was jeering at Jimmy, laughing at him, yelling at him, however nobody said anything to Pete. Seeing as Jimmy didn't turn around and demand to know why Pete was following him, Pete concluded that he really was invisible.
He watched the encounter between Jimmy and Dr Crabblesnitch, jaw dropping at just how bad the headmaster was making the boy out to be. He knew Jimmy had a rough past when it came to schools, but he didn't know he was that bad.
However, he had to chuckle at Jimmy's "I don't care" attitude. Sometimes, Pete wished he could be as confident and carefree as Jimmy was.
He followed Jimmy back to the dorm, watching as the boy took down Wade in-front of the other bullies. The boy flinched when Russell knocked into the boy and felt angry when Mr Hattrick basically blamed Jimmy for the whole ordeal, warning him to change into his uniform. Heck, Pete knew Bullworth was cruel to new students, but he didn't remember his first time being this bad.
Because there was someone there to help you through it all.
After getting into the dorm, Jimmy simply went into his room and changed into his uniform, before sitting on his bed and sulking about his mom.
Wait, Pete thought. Isn't this when I first met Jimmy?
Pete waited for himself to show up, but he never did. Ah, so he didn't exist in this world? It made sense, and memories of yesterday came flooding back to him. He wished he'd never been born.
It didn't seem as if having him there made Jimmy's life so different after all. The boy got up after about an hour and went to class, seemingly dodging any bullies that tried to attack him. He got into a few fights throughout the day, all of which he won, and that was that.
Jimmy didn't look too happy, but he didn't look sad either, by any means. The other cliques didn't like him that much, but they didn't dislike him; Damon didn't even attack him when he made his way to gym class.
And that was when Petey realised: Jimmy wasn't making his way towards being "king of the school", because Gary wasn't there to show him the ropes.
Gary wasn't there to trick him, to torment him, to betray him. Heck, without Gary there, Jimmy didn't do anything. The only thing that happened was that Davis hit Jimmy with the slingshot, however Gary wasn't there to teach Jimmy how to use the slingshot.
And without Gary there, Jimmy never fought Russell. He never fought Derby, or Earnest, or Ted, or Edgar…and eventually Gary. Because Gary wasn't there.
The question was, though, why wasn't Gary there?
Suddenly, the scenery changed, and Pete was met with an empty dorm room. He looked around for a moment, before stopping in his tracks when Gary entered the room.
"Oh damn," Gary muttered, setting his suitcase down on the ground.
Pete remembered this room. It was the room he and Gary shared, before Gary demanded that Pete move into another room, far away from him.
He watched as Gary got changed into his new uniform, gasping when he noticed the bruises falling all over the older boy's body. He remembered when Gary would go off on tangents about how his parents hated him, however he always thought the teen was just being overdramatic, as usual.
The next thing Gary did was fish out his required medication. Pete's eyes widened at the numerous boxes that the boy's bag had produced; Gary said he had ADD, however everyone else had already decided that the boy had had many other underlying mental issues that hadn't been addressed. And from the different coloured packages, Pete decided that they were probably right.
And when Gary accidentally knocked the boxes over, it was then that Pete remembered this day. This was the day he arrived as well; he arrived just a little later than Gary. He had walked in on the boy anxiously shoving a few boxes into his suitcase, however he had never even realised that they were his medicine. He'd thought it was fire crackers or something; something worth hiding.
But obviously, in this reality, Pete didn't exist, and so there was nothing to hide from anyone. Gary glanced back and forth at the dorm room door, waiting for someone to come in and speak to him, it seemed, but they never did. And Pete's heart broke at the lost look on the older teen's face.
"Friends…" Gary whispered, and Pete stared at him. "Ah, who needs friends? Dad was so correct. All's friends do is bring you down, anyway."
Pete had been Gary's first friend. His only friend.
And Gary had been his.
Gary stood up after a few minutes, making his way to his first class of the day: Biology. On the way there, however, Troy decided to test out Davis' new slingshot on "the new kid". And when the stone hit Gary's face, he stopped in his tracks, staring at Troy.
"What are you gonna do about it, huh, punk?!" Troy yelled, and Trent, who was stood with him, laughed.
Tom, with his bruised hand, snatched the slingshot off Troy and fired another stone. "This is faw you!" he said angrily, his New York accent heavily prominent whenever he was angry.
"Yeah," Trent said, making his way over to Gary, also. "Your move, dillweed!"
Gary's lips trembled, and Pete certainly knew that this was the first time he'd ever seen Gary show weakness in-front of anybody.
The tall teen ran back to the boy's dorm, Pete right on his tail. Seth, who noticed that it was almost 9:30, yelled at the boy: "Get to class, you worthless brat!"
Honestly, Pete didn't expect any less of Seth, considering all the prefects were pretty much bullies who used their authority as a means to pick on kids.
Bu what Pete didn't expect, was for Gary to run back into the dorm, and scream about how he hated the world, before emptying all his boxes of pills out onto the floor. He opened each and every one, before swallowing every last one.
Pete screamed at him to stop, and it wasn't until the seizures stopped and the vomiting was over, did Pete remember that Gary couldn't hear him. Gary, who was a lifeless heap on the ground, surrounded by pill boxes. Gary, who was dead.
To think, it only took a few taunts from the bullies to make Gary believe that he wasn't worthy of living anymore. The torments from the other boys were quite light in comparison to what they usually said, and Pete knew for a fact that Gary had experienced way worse, from both the faction leaders and Jimmy.
So, why was this any different?
Because you weren't there to make him feel as though he was worth anything.
Sure, Pete always made it known to Gary that he heavily disliked the older boy, and how he thought he was a horrible person, however no matter how bad Gary was to Petey, Gary always let him come crawling back.
And unlike Jimmy, Gary always wanted to Pete to follow him around. Despite that time when he kicked Petey in the balls, which he apologized jokingly for when he was sure Jimmy was out of sight, he always wanted Pete he and Jimmy.
Pete may not have been needed by Jimmy, the rest of the school, or even the rest of the world. But, he was needed.
Despite all that Gary had done, Pete would have never wanted to see him dead. Or even in a bad place. Gary had betrayed Jimmy, sure, but he hadn't betrayed Petey. Sure, he told the other boy to leave him alone, and moved dorm rooms, but that was it. In all honesty, Pete had missed him when he left.
To think, that a simple "hello" would have saved Gary. And that simple "hello" happened to be from Pete in that cold fall of 2003.
And in that moment, Petey really, really missed Gary Smith.
XXX
The next morning, everything was different again. This time, the sky was brighter, the air seemed cleaner, and the atmosphere on a whole just seemed generally happy.
Pete hopped out of bed and got dressed, deciding to show his face to the school for once. He'd never admit it, but he couldn't help but feel happy himself when a few kids turned to look at him. They may not have known who he was, but they knew he was there.
Miss Danvers was shaking her head at a few greasers who had wound up in the office again. Without asking, Pete immediately went into the headmaster's office, getting a few weird looks from Ms Danvers and the greasers. The "pink-bloused freak" had never looked so confident in his life.
"I'm sorry, Miss Danvers, but I'm quite busy-oh, Peter," Dr Crabblesnitch said, throwing his book under his desk. Pete was certain it was a book on discipline - Gary had offered to buy it for him once when they were in some whacky store in Old Bullworth Vale. They both thought they'd seen Mr Burton in there, too, however when they looked again, he was gone.
"Hi, Sir," Pete said, sitting down in the chair in-front of the man's desk.
Dr Crabblesnitch nodded. "Is there something you'd like to talk about?" he enquired.
Pete smiled. "Yes, actually. You know how you said that students weren't supposed to visit Happy Volts?"
Squinting, Crabblesnitch said: "Go on."
"Well, I'd like to make a few exceptions in regard to a former pupil of ours, Gary Smith…"
13.08.18
Poor Pete got picked on by everyone :(
But I loved his and Gary's friendship XD