"You gotta be psychotic!" Xemnas held the slip of paper in one hand, and was goggling at the delivery boy. In his other hand was a crumpled envelope.

The pimpled delivery boy shrugged. "I think it's a good idea, personally."

Xemnas glared daggers and shuriken and shiney lasers at the boy. "Get out of here before I skin you alive!!" He roared. And the delivery boy did. As soon as his pattering footsteps had died away, Xemnas slumped against the door. He looked at the slip. "This is unbelievable," he moaned. "We must call a meeting.." He ran off, whimpering.

Fifteen minutes later, the whole of Organization 13 were assembled in their white thrones, just being themselves as the quivering Xemnas called order. "Listen, all of you!" he called out, hoisting the notice aloft. "I just received this distressing paper-"

"Lemme guess. It's the tabloids. Someone shot a picture of Lexaeus in the shower," Xaldin quipped.

"Uh! That's not nice," Lexaeus protested, munching moodily on a chocolate doughnut.

"Believe it or not, it's worse," Xemnas moaned.

Xigbar gasped. " They got a shot of me?!?!" He gulped. The other Nobodies moaned at the thought, and there was an audible pop of 'sploding brains.

Xemnas looked sick. "This is not about a picture of anyone naked in the shower!" He yelled over the noise. "It's about-" he turned the pamphlet towards them, "-the new show on TV. Dancing with the Organization!" Everyone gasped at once, and knowing them, it's a wonder that all the air didn't disappear and they all died. But they didn't.

"O rly?" Axel gasped.

"Rly!" Xemnas nodded.

"NO WAI!!"

Larxene hurled a pillow at both of them. "No more chatspeak, for either of you! Xemnas, what do it say?"

Xemnas read it, trembling. "You are being invited to join the new show Dancing with the Organization, premiering at 7:00 Central Time next Thursday-"

"Oh good!" Roxas leaned back smugly. "That means we don't have to except! We can refuse the invitation."

"Not so fast." Xemnas poked the letter. "The word 'invited' got a little starish thingy next to it."

"An asterick?" Axel gulped. "What does it say?"

Xemnas ran his finger down the page. "Here. this word is not to be taken literally, cuz we have to pretend to be nice to your losers. The cold hearted truth is that if you morons don't come, we'll castrate all of you and sell your guts on E-bay." He shrugged. A ghastly silence fell over the room, except for Lexaeus, who kept on munching doughnuts.

"So…we have to join?" Larxene asked.

"What's castration?" Saix wanted to know.

"Is that sort of like the violent removal of your y'knows?" Demyx asked nervously.

"Well…it's the violent removal of something," Vexen said, shoving his nerdy scientist glasses higher up on his nose.

Xaldin pounded the sides of his thone-chair thingy. "Xemnas, who are the first pairs to air?"

Xemnas gulped. "You're not going to like it…"

"Oh bother, just read it, old scout," Luxord sniffed, flipping his flippy cards as only a master card flippist can do.

Xemnas cleared his throat. "The first five pairs to air are - Axel and Kairi-" There was a combinations of gasps and snickers from the others, and a wail from Axel. Xemnas continued. " Zexion and Ziv-"

"NOOO!!" Saix wailed. Zexion dropped his book on surprise.

"What?!" He spluttered.

"Zexion and Ziv," Xemnas repeated.

"But but but.." Saix protested, doing his world famous motorboat imitation. "She's my girl.."

"I can see the resemblance," Larxene snickered. "Both have long bangs! Ziv and Zex, I mean."

"You might not want to laugh," Xemnas said. "The third pair is Larxene…and Lexaeus." Larxene wailed in despair, and Lexaeus looked up from his doughnuts.

"Uh? Did someone call me?" He grunted.

"No, not really," Xemnas shrugged.

Lexaeus observed the writhing Larxene from across the room. "Chief? What's up with grasshopper girl?" He pointed.

"She has to dance with you," Xemans informed him. "Any complaints?"

Lexaeus shook his big head. "Uh. No. Just as long as I'm home in time for supper."

"I want my mummy," Larxene whimpered, sucking her thumb. If you've never seen Larxene suck her thumb, you're missing out in the extreme. It's almost like watching an overweight African hippo give birth. Almost. Not quite.

Xemnas ignored her and read on. "Fourth pair to air is Xemnas…and Elcie." Another earthshaking gasp that exploded into laughter. Xemnas felt his face turning an ungodly shade of pink. He waited until the Organization members has stopped laughing, and shook the paper. "One last pair. Luxord, you get Rain."

"WHAT?!?!" The flippy cards flipped in every direction.

"That's right, Luxie. You get Rain." Xemnas folded up the paper.

"This is sooo bloody rotten," Luxord complained, collecting up his flippy cards in a very flippy British way. Because, y'know, he is. He glared as the unpaired Organization members slapped hands all around.

"The victims of this stupid show will need to pack up their belongings and meet me in the main hall," Xemnas shouted over the commotion. "We're leaving for The Los Angeles That Never Was."

"Never heard of that before," Axel commented as he dropped out of his throne.

"That's because it doesn't exist, you moron!" Saix stalked out of the hall.

"See you later!" Roxas waved a hand at Axel and disappeared around the door, laughing. Axel glared and went skulking out of the hall towards his room. Axels can skulk. No one else really can. Xemnas tried once, but it…well, he phailed. And thus was the Grinch borne.

Xemnas smacked the narrator/author. "Shut up, will you? This was your idea anyway!"

She sulked. "Fine. Go pack, Mr. Grinch!"

"Why you-" Xemnas started to turn around and smack her, but she'd already teleported. See? I can make cool things like that happen. HA HA. Sucks to be Xemmy.

"WILL YOU JUST HURRY UP!?!?" Xemnas roared.

"Fine, Mr. Moody!"

The victim Organization members went off to their own rooms to pack, or to wail by themselves. The roof over the kitchen has leaked ever since. In another forty minutes, they were all downstairs in the front hall, looking very abashed. All except for Lexaeus, who was oblivious to the predicament and just kept on munching doughnuts, which in turn made Larxene wail all the more. Xemnas filled pulled up to the curb in the black SUV, and motioned for them to get in. "Did everyone bring their dance clothes?" he asked.

"What?" Axel protested. "I don't have dance clothes?"
"Well…you and Roxas were dancing in something a few nights under. Under the full moon, remember?" Larxene teased.

Axel sniffed. "Those were ceremonial robes!"

"So that's where my sheets went!" Luxord pointed accusingly. "It's been so bloody cold at night without them!"

"Did anyone bring anything remotely close to dance clothes?" Xemnas asked in despair.

"Uh. I brought a tutu," Lexaeus piped up. Larxene went white, then green, and dashed around the eucalyptus bush. All the others winced as the noises of Larxene's lunch forcibly exiting drifted around the bush. After a minute, a very pale Larxene came back, wiping at her mouth. The others all took a step back.

"Better go before Marluxia sees your cookies all splayed out over his pachysandra," Xemnas commented. And so with much grunting and elbowing, the five unfortunate Reality TV Show victims loaded up their bags in the back of the SUV and loaded up. "Nobody spill anything on the seats! They're leather, ok? Treat them like gold."

"Or just like leather," Axel quipped, settling himself in the window seat of the front bench. Zexion slunk onto the back room and slid down in the corner seat, his black iPod cradled in his lap. He was glaring daggers at everyone, but hey! That's what you get when you get a cerebral emo in the back seat of a black SUV. Larxene chose to sit up on the front bench with Axel, leaving Luxord, still flipping his flippy cards, to brave Zexion. And Lexaeus clambered into the front seat, a doughnut clenched in one hand. He slammed the door so hard that the SUV shook. Xemnas's backbone went rigid, and his orange eyes grilled into Lexaeus. If it was anything other than the Silent Hero, Lexaeus would have been melting into a whimpering pile of leather and hair under that gaze. But he ignored the glare, and kept on peacefully munching on his doughnut. After three minutes of burning out his eyeballs on Lexaeus's blankly happy face, Xemnas gave it up.

"Everyone buckled up?" He asked.

"Do we have to?" Luxord, Axel, and Larxene wailed in unison.

"Yes, drat you all, you do!" Xemnas hit the steering wheel in frustration, resulting in a loud honk that rattled and shattered all the windows in Castle Oblivions. Which makes an excellent point; never touch Xemnas's SUV's horn. Evar. If you want to live. The five other Nobodies all wailed and grabbed in pain at their splintering ears. Xemnas smirked. "Everyone buckled up?" He repeated sweetly. They all moaned incoherently and snapped themselves in. Xemnas turned on the SUV and it rolled out of the parking lot, away from Castle Oblivion. The windows in the front of the castle were open, and the lucky non-victims waved goodbye as the unfortunate Nobodies left for the Los Angeles That Never Was.