A/N hi peoples! It's me again! Well I just typed this up cause I'm stuck in a house with three very annoying fourteen year olds, and what better thing to do than type a funny fanfic! This is my first attempt at a funny story but I hope that it is good. Enjoy!
Me: attention, I have brought someone here to explain this to you.
Edward: what am I doing here? Who are you?!
Me: welcome, Edward. Now please tell these wonderful people what we rehearsed.
Edward: I don't have to say anything!
Me: SAY IT NOW!!
Edward: ah! Ok, please don't hurt me! You're scarier then Alice!
Me: thank you!
Edward: All right, before she kills me…she doesn't own us! Or ping-pong!
Bella's POV
"Edward!" I shrieked. "Help me!"
Edward pounded the door down from his bedroom and came down into the living room like lightning. "What is it Bella?!"
"Make…him…stop!" I laughed.
Slowly Edward processed the scene in front of him. His frightened face turned into an angry scowl. Well, that's what anyone would do if I screamed like that to them because of the position I'm in now. Its not like I'm being hurt, no, far from that. I'm being exposed to the worst form of torture imaginable, being tickled.
"Come on Bella! Eddie, make her play fuck with me!!"
"Play what?! You want to do what with my fiancé?!" he was so close to hitting him into oblivion.
"No! Not fuck her! Play the game fuck!"
"Eddie make his freaky talk stop," I complained playfully.
"Emmett, shut the hell up! Stop talking in your own strange language that no one else understands! And for the last time Emmett DON'T CALL ME EDDIE!!"
"Fine! Be that way! But make her play…" he whined.
"I don't have to play anything if I don't want to! Do I Edward?" I asked.
"Of course not, love. But if you want Emmett to ever leave you alone…"
"Damn you Emmett! Damn you to the fiery pits of hell," I said.
"Love you too hun! Here, I'll explain to you how to play."
"Eddie, stay with me? Please?" I batted my eyelashes.
He sighed, and sat down next to me.
"Ok, here's how it works," Emmett started. "This," he held up a ping-pong ball, "is a 'fuck'. These," he held up ping-pong paddles, " are the 'fuck paddles'. Are you following so far?"
We nodded warily.
"Good. Now, we, the players, are called the 'fuckees'. Now what you have to do is stand on opposite sides of a room and hit the 'fuck' back and forth without a ping pong table."
At the same time, Edward and I looked at each other. Both of our faces held concern for Emmett, who may need professional help.
"There are a couple rules though. For one, when you hit the 'fuck', you have to say 'fucker!' every time you hit it. And one person will say 'mother fucker!' every time the ball hits the ground. The object of the game is to not let the 'fuck' touch the ground. You can dive for it, but you can't hit it with your hands or hit it hard to the other person. Any questions?"
My mouth dropped open. "Yeah, I have one. WHAT THE FUCK?!" I paused then giggled at the wording. "I didn't do that on purpose," I said.
Edward smirked.
"Bella, that's not a question," Emmett scolded. "But let's play! Who's going against me first?"
"Eddie? Could you go first? I, uh, need to see how it's done," I lied.
"Why of course, Bella. Emmett, give me a damn paddle." He held his hand out.
"It's called a fuck paddle! Have some respect!" he handed Edward a paddle, and he hit Emmett with it.
"HEY! What was that for?" he complained.
"For making us play this. Now let's get this over with," he moaned.
"Let's," Emmett whispered, as he threw the fuck in the air and prepared to send it flying.
A/N How did you like it? Was it good? Did it suck? Review and I will update just that much sooner! Oh and just like before I need at least five reviews to continue. Leave me a cookie, and thanks for reading!