Whilst relaxing in the staff room, in the midst of a busy shift, Sam meets a curious and chatty little girl. Soon Sam and her start to talk and Sam confesses that she still has feelings for her ex husband thinking that Dylan will never find out. What Sam never expected was for the little girl to go and tell someone her secret, someone who Sam had been hoping wouldn't find out.
A Sam and Dylan Hurt/Comfort oneshot set at the start or middle of series 32. Let's just pretend that Saturday night never happened and that Sam is still happy, alive and kicking ass as a paramedic, cause I am so not over her death. Also if anyone has any Sam and Dylan story suggestions I'd love to hear them, I need ideas to motivate me to write.
Sam yawned as she walked out of RESUS after handing over a patient. She could feel her eyes closing. After nearly 10 hours on the hectic Saturday night shift, keeping them open was becoming a challenge. The door reopened behind her and her fellow paramedic friend appeared at her side.
"I'm just got to fill in some paperwork and then we'll be off again, I hopefully won't be too long though."
She nodded at Iain's words, if he was busy that meant she could quickly grab a desperately needed break. She watched Iain walk over to the work station in the middle of the department and start his work. With another yawn, Sam headed for the staff room.
The mug of coffee warmed her hands as she leant back against the wall. It was nice to finally relax, even if it would only be for a short time. She knew how quickly Iain could do his paperwork, she'd be lucky if she got 15 minutes. Reaching over to the table, she grabbed a packet of biscuits. The chocolate digestive crumbled slightly as Sam dunked it in her coffee before taking a bite. The flavours of rich coffee and milky chocolate filled her mouth, it was heavenly. As the taste of coffee and chocolate biscuit slowly became dull, Sam began to reach for another biscuit to dunk into her coffee.
"Can I have one?"
Sam nearly dropped her mug, the sudden voice having taken her by surprise. She turned towards the door, assuming that it was where she had heard the voice come from. Her gaze was met by two big, pleading eyes belonging to a small girl. The girl's eyes were a deep blue and her strawberry blonde hair was tied up in two short bunches. The girl looked up at Sam for a few moments without saying anything before her face relaxed into a little smile.
"Can I have one of your biscuits, please?"
Unsure of what to do, Sam removed a digestive from the packet before slowly handing it over. The little girl smiled in delight and ran over to take it out of Sam's hand. She grabbed it and ate it up quickly and messily, getting crumbs all over the floor and her face. Sam watched her with interest, wondering who on earth this little girl could be? When the girl had finished eating Sam asked her the question that was playing on her mind, hoping that the girl wouldn't be too shy to answer. She didn't seem that shy.
"I hope you don't mind me asking you little one but what's your name?"
The girl looked at Sam again without saying anything. Maybe she had misjudged her, maybe this little girl was quite shy. In fact, the more Sam thought about it she saw how scary it could be for a little kid in this situation. When she had been little if a big random stranger had asked her this she would've been quite nervous. Sam was about to apologise to the little girl when she took Sam by surprise again and spoke.
"My name's Rihanna, what's yours?"
Sam smiled at Rihanna. Her name was nice, it suited her. It was a bold name for a confident little girl. Most kids who were her age would've been too shy to answer. Crouching down to Rihanna's level, Sam introduced herself as Sammy. Sammy was a more child friendly name in Sam's opinion. When she had done her paediatrics rotation as an F1 all the children she'd treated had called her 'doctor Sammy' so it must've meant something.
"I'm waiting for my big brother at the moment. When he's finished what he's doing I get to go home with him."
Rihanna had literally just answered the question that Sam was about to ask her. She nearly asked her why he was here but she stopped herself before she could say a word. It was obvious Rihanna's brother was a patient in the ED. Why else would she be here waiting for him.
"What's your big brother like," asked Sam after deciding that Rihanna's brother was probably a good subject for conversation. Sam knew that she would probably be able to relate to whatever Rihanna said about having a brother. She had three older ones of her own, all of whom could be annoying in their own way.
Rihanna cocked her head to the side slightly, as if she was giving the question a lot of thought. After about a minute of deep thinking Rihanna answered.
"He's a bit weird. He talks in a really strange way. I think that he sounds funny but some people find him annoying or in.. Infruti... infruiting?..." She looked at Sam, obviously hoping that she would understand what she was going for and help her out. Sam was confused for a minute, what was Rihanna trying to say? It took her a moment but she soon figured it out.
"Infuriating." Rihanna looked at Sam with surprise. "The word you're looking for is infuriating." Rihanna repeated the word quietly a couple of times, as if she was practicing saying it out loud. Sam laughed to herself for two reasons. The first being that Rihanna's actions were honestly just adorable, no sane person could deny it. The second being that she could think of a person that she knew who also matched Rihanna's description. Rihanna noticed Sam's laughs and decided to be curious.
"What's funny Sammy?"
"You," replied Sam whilst she reached over and moved the packet of biscuits out of Rihanna's reach; the little girl had been eyeing up the open packet for a while. As much as she liked being nice, Sam knew that Rihanna's parents would rather that she did this instead of making their little girl sick. Rihanna glared up at Sam, for what she had said and what she had done, her eyes narrowed and arms crossed across her chest.
"No I'm not," she pouted, "And I know that you weren't laughing at me. Please Sammy, tell me what you were laughing about."
Sam was split between two sides. Should she tell Rihanna the true reason for her laughter. She was only a little girl, she probably wouldn't ask awkward questions but if she did Sam wasn't sure how she would respond. She really couldn't decide what to do.
She gazed out of the window in the staff room. She watched the person who matched Rihanna's description through his open office door as he worked. Dylan was deep in concentration as he went over notes multiple times before beginning to fill in his case notes. Sam couldn't help but smile again. His ginger hair shone slightly in the bright light, making his hair more vibrantly coloured than usual. His shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, displaying his strong, bare arms. Sam could remember back to a time when he would hold her in his arms, she had always felt safe when he did that.
If she concentrated really hard then she could still feel them resting around her waist, holding her body tight against his. Her head would lie against his chest and his heartbeat would thump softly into her ear. She wished that there was some way, any way, which could mean that he would hold her again. Her heart sank as she realised that he never would, and it was all her fault.
Sam was pulled out of her thoughts by Rihanna attempting to clamber up the chair sitting near the biscuit packet. Rihanna looked up at Sam with a mixed look of annoyance and determination that just made her want to laugh again. The little girl grabbed the packet and hugged it close to her chest.
"Tell me what's funny. Tell me or I'll eat all the biscuits."
Sam sighed, she was being blackmailed by a child. Why were little kids be so persistent? She reached over and lifted Rihanna over to the window. Once she was in a good position for seeing, Sam started her explanation.
"Well," began Sam, "The reason I was laughing was because I also know someone who matches what you said about your brother." Rihanna's face lit up, her blue eyes looking up at Sam with curiosity.
"Who?"
Sam raised her arm and pointed in the direction of Dylan.
"Him."
Rihanna looked at Dylan for a minute before turning back to Sam with another question for her.
"Is he your friend?"
Rihanna's question got Sam's mind working. Were Dylan and her friends? They had been once, but now, after everything that had happened between them, could they still count each other as friends? Dylan probably didn't, which was understandable. Sam had broken his trust in her so it obvious that he wouldn't. She had no idea how to answer.
"It's complicated Rihanna," replied Sam before lifting the little girl down from the window. She had her head cocked slightly to the side with confusion.
"How's being his friend complicated?"
"You wouldn't understand," replied Sam with a slight smile. It was true. Her situation with Dylan was sometimes confusing for adults, let alone a young child.
Her answer clearly annoyed the very curious Rihanna who began to sulk at Sam's lack of information. Again she had her arms crossed firmly across her chest and her face scrunched up in anger.
"I would so understand. I'm not a baby," she muttered whilst she continued to glare up at Sam.
As much as she hated to admit it, there was a small part of Sam that wanted to tell Rihanna. She wasn't sure why, she was only a little girl. Maybe that was the reason. A little kid wouldn't exactly understand when she explained the mess that had been her marriage. A little kid wouldn't judge her for what had happened.
"Okay then," said Sam, "As you are obviously not a baby I'll tell you why." Rihanna quickly relaxed before sitting down on one of the staff room sofas. Going against her original plan, Sam joined Rihanna on the sofa and began to explain her situation with Dylan.
"Well, you see, I used to be married to him but we ended up getting a divorce when I messed it all up. I would like to say that we count each other as friends but to be realistic, I think he actually hates me. I don't blame him either. I'd hate me if I were him."
Rihanna looked up at her with a sweet smile and asked an innocent question that took Sam completely by surprise.
"Do you still love him?"
Sam froze up immediately. She had not for one second imagined that Rihanna would ask her a question like that. As she attempted to speak she realised that she couldn't find the words. What was she meant to say? Something that she had said six years ago, when she had been getting together with Tom, came to mind.
...We're divorced, we don't love each other anymore...
At the time it had seemed like the right thing to say. Her divorce with Dylan had been for a good reason in her opinion but there had always been this little voice in the back of her head telling her not to do it, that they should try to work things out. This voice had become more apparent when she realised that Dylan had thought they were getting back together. It had taken all of her willpower to suppress these thoughts and divorce him. She had to anyway, if she didn't she would just hurt him more.
When she got together with Tom she had thought that she was over Dylan, that she had moved on and fallen in love with another, but as the years went by she realised she had been wrong. She had only tricked herself into liking Doctor Kent, something which didn't last long, and soon her love for Dylan had found its way back to the surface, but could it be true? Could she still be in love with the man she had divorced all those years ago?
"I'm not sure," answered Sam simply. Rihanna just smiled before rushing over to the door and poking her head around the door frame. Sam checked that Rihanna's attention was occupied by the goings on of the ED before adding to her previous statement, whispering quietly under her breath.
"I'm not sure if he would ever take me back but I love him with all my heart."
"He's here! He's here!" exclaimed Rihanna, "My big brother's coming!" She squealed in delight before rushing out of the staff room. The sound of Rihanna's happy voice drifted back to Sam as the little girl began to tell her brother what she'd been up to. Sam smiled to herself, she was glad to know that Rihanna had enjoyed her company.
"Sammy really likes you, as in like-likes you. She seems to think that you hate her but I don't think you do, do you?"
Sam's eyes widen at Rihanna's words. Had Rihanna just said what she had thought she'd said? Maybe she'd misunderstood their conversation about her big brother being alike to Dylan. She must've somehow ended up thinking that she liked her big brother and not Dylan. With a tired sigh Sam set her mug down on the counter before heading out to talk to Rihanna's family. She didn't want them getting the wrong end of the stick.
She rushed out of the door quickly, hoping to catch Rihanna and her family before they left, but instead she ran straight into none other than her ex husband. Dylan seemed awkward and fidgety, as if something was on his mind. He couldn't even look her in the eye for very long before turning away and staring into thin air. Sam wondered what was bothering him and wanted to ask. Whatever it was it would have to wait till later though as she had a small girl's family to track down.
"Sorry Dylan," she apologised, having quite literally walked straight into him at a considerable speed, "You haven't seen a little girl have you? Her name's Rihanna and I need to speak to her big brother about something she said to him."
Sam waited for a reply but all Dylan did was stare at her with no answer at all.
"Please Dylan," she urged, "An answer would be helpful."
A voice behind her replied to the question and their answer made Sam freeze completely.
"You're quite silly Sammy, that is my big brother."
Sam's skin began to warm, the tell tale sign that her cheeks would be reddening with embarrassment. Sam's head was rushing with thoughts. What would Dylan think? How the hell was she going to get out of this? Rihanna appeared beside Sam with a grin on her face before continuing over to Dylan and standing close by him.
"So... umm..." mumbled Dylan awkwardly. Sam knew that Dylan hated this as much as she did, nonetheless they had to talk about it. She wished they didn't but if they ignored it like they used to it would just make everything worse for the both of them.
"About what Rihanna said," began Sam, hoping that the conversation would be over quickly.
"Yes, about that. I assume that you were just making stuff up to entertain her. It's not like it would be true, we are divorced and all."
Dylan's words hit Sam hard. She tried not to let them hurt her, they shouldn't have hurt her. After all, they were divorced.
"Yeah... of course." Sam replied slowly, cringing as she heard her voice crack whilst speaking. She prayed that Dylan hadn't heard it.
Looking up at Dylan Sam hoped that he'd believed her, she hoped that she'd sounded convincing. She hoped that he hadn't seen that she was still madly in love with him and was totally lying about everything to his face.
He didn't move but he did seem to relax a bit which helped to slightly calm Sam's nerves. She knew that he would be feeling relieved now that the 'emotional' part of the conversation was over. She definitely was.
Dylan muttered something to Rihanna and she took his hand. They were about walk away when he stopped and turned back to face her.
"Thanks for keeping an eye on Rihanna. Without someone to talk to she would've probably destroyed the staff room so much it would've looked like it had been hit by a hurricane."
"It's okay, I didn't mind at all." Sam smiled slightly. Dylan had always had a funny way of wording things, something that had always made her smile during their marriage. Her smile disappeared quickly when she realised that she would never hear his jokes or strangely worded phrases again. To hide her sadness she continued talking.
"I'll go now, you probably want to get Rihanna home now." He nodded slightly and turned away. With a sigh, she returned to the staff room.
Their conversation replayed in her head, Dylan's words making her mind and heart ache with sadness and regret.
"It's not like it would be true, we are divorced after all."
"Oh but it is," she muttered to herself, "Oh but it is true." She wrapped her arms around her stomach for comfort, fighting the growing urge to burst into tears. "Why do you have to be such an idiot, huh Sam? Of course he doesn't love you, he hates you! You broke his heart into a million pieces."
Sam could feel the tears building in her eyes, threatening to overflow and cascade down her face. If she wasn't so wrapped up in her own emotions Sam might've noticed the figure who had appeared in the doorway and was watching her closely.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid! He'll never understand that you still love him with all your heart. He won't see how you could've divorced him or tricked yourself into loving Tom all whist still being in love with him. Anyways, even if he did love you, which he doesn't, you don't deserve him because you're a stupid idiot Sam Nicholls. You're a stupid idiot who's turned the man she loves against her. Only someone as stupid as you would ever love you back."
The tears finally overflowed and fell down Sam's face like a waterfall. She leant her head in her hands and cried. The only man she would ever love would never feel the same way. Her life was a mess and it was all because of her own stupid actions.
Suddenly she felt a warm breath on her neck sending tingles down her spine. She was pulled out of her thoughts by a hand slipping its way around her waist and a soft voice whispering into her ear.
"Turns out I'm quite stupid too."
Before Sam could say anything lips touched down on her own. She smiled into the kiss, their taste and feeling being so sweet, so nice and oh so familiar.
The kiss broke apart and Sam found herself gazing into a pair of deep, blue eyes who could only belong to one person. Dylan reached up and moved a stray hair behind Sam's ear then began to wipe away the tears left on her cheek with his thumb.
"You may have hurt me, you may have made me dislike you greatly but nothing you've ever done could ever make me hate you Samantha. I've always loved you and I have a feeling that you feel the same way about me."
He was right, she did feel the same way. She loved Dylan, always had and always would.
She moved her hand up behind his head. Her fingers entangled themselves in his ginger hair as she pulled his head closer to hers. Their lips crashed together, this kiss meaning more than the last. Sam's arms hung around Dylan's neck whilst he held her close to him; one hand on her waist and the other on her head. She could feel her heart racing in her chest and the warmth of Dylan's hands on her body. He nibbled softly on her lip. They both began to grow breathless but continued, their tongues now exploring each other's mouths. She could feel the electricity flowing between them, the passion of this kiss being the best thing she'd ever experienced. She wished that it could go on forever.
"Sammy and Dylan sitting in a tree..."
They broke apart, both gasping for breath. The sounds of giggling echoed from the doorway and they both turned to look. Stood there was Rihanna who seemed to have found Sam and Dylan's kiss extremely entertaining. The little girl's face had a cute smirk plastered over it and she was chanting a rhyme that Sam hadn't heard since primary school. Both her and Dylan soon found themselves laughing too as Rihanna finished off her little chant, Dylan's arm still around Sam's waist and her head sitting on his shoulder.
"...K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"
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