Disclaimer: I don't own bleach.
The idea came while watching some movie about little (Like, the size of a baby..) burglar that masqueraded as baby..don't ask How it came this, 'cause I seriously haven't got a clue .____.
"So...you are really ok with someone having a kidou-type Zanpakuto in the eleventh division?" Asked Yumichika skeptically, sitting in a bar with Ikkaku, Zaraki and Yachiru on his shoulder. And Iba at the bald's side.
"Well, you hadn't actually used it much, by what you're telling," Sighed the captain. "...You beat Hisagi with the Kidou, did you?"
"It was that obvious?" Mused the fifth seat.
"...You returned all sparkling and gleaming like Yachiru's tooth-bitch!" Grumbled Kenpachi. "Dammit, just thinking about it makes me shivering..." Which he did ("It's tooth-FAIRY, Ken-chan!!").
"Did you used it at the battle over the pillar, too?" Pondered Iba, sipping Some Sake. "I mean, if Madarame had got beaten..."
"Yes, but that was only the second time."
"That's good." Iba slapped the booze jar over the counter and turned to Ikkaku. "Get that, Madarame? learn from your friend! in professional-"
The third-seat suddenly jumped frantically off from his seat to the Fukotaichou, knocking him over to the floor and sitting on him with his hands covering Iba's mouth. "Shut up, you idiot!" He yelled, making the vice choke with his grip too strong. "Say another word and I'll-"
"If it's about your Bankai, then don't worry." Zaraki waved to Ikkaku carelessly, making him stunned with mouth wide open, and grip loose, which gave Iba the opportunity to lift himself (and throwing Ikkaku off him in the process). "Didn't I told you to fight me when you're stronger?!" He growled, lifting a jar. "But not now, I'm busy now."
Ikkaku blinked. And blinked.
Then shrugged and set back down beside the counter.
"Wait a minute. How is that that I was confiscated by the squad for trying to rise ranks and he doesn't even get that for having a Kidou-Zanpakuto?!"
"Because he wasn't stupid enough to announce that in public in front of everyone!" Burst Ikkaku.
"Anyway, using all you've got to maintain orders are acceptable," mumbled the captain. "It's not like we could have afford a losing in this war anyway. Just make sure it doesn't get out to the guys in the division."
"And you were fighting with half-released Zanpakuto; that's already saying something." Said the bald. "And you owe be a battle later; I want to see that ability of yours."
"Trust me, you don't." And it was a statement.
"Hisagi!" Called Iba, watching the group of newcomers taking their seats. "Ho, that's right. He did beat you with it..."
"Who had beaten Hisagi-san with what?" Asked Kira curiously.
"Feathers has a Kidou-type Zanpakuto!" Chirped Yachiru from Zaraki's back.
Yumichika sighed. So much for keeping it a secret.
"But..." Started Renji hesitately, "I thought Kidou is forbidden in the eleventh..."
"There isn't an actual writen rule about it, though." Thought Iba. "It's alright as long as he doesn't use it to much in battles, or else the guys from the division would start doubt his strength and position."
"Ne, feathers, what can it do? tell us, tell us!"
Not even bothering to look at any of them from his drink, he took a long sip and then slowly put the saucer down, knowing that (almost) all eyes were on him, expecting and waiting eagerly for his reply. But it was a simple with no room for negotiations:
"Not telling."
And with that he lifted the jar, purred the boozed and sipped again, ignoring the calls and yells around him.
"Hey!"
"That's not fair!"
"I want to know!! Ken-chan, tell him! tell him tell him tell himmmmmmm!!!"
"I'm your captain, that's an order! happy brat?! now shut up!"
"Yumichika! as a Fukotaicho that Over-ranks you, I'm ordering you to speak!"
"Matasumoto?! When the hell did you get here?!"
"If you so want to know!" The fifth-seat piped up, and everyone went silent. "Then why not trying to guess?" He smiled at them slyly. "Why wouldn't you all ask Hisagi-fukotaichou about the outcome of his battle with me back then?"
Instantly all faces turned to the pointed brunet, who blinked and then turned to stare to nowhere specifically, sipping booze and sinking in memories.
The outcomes of that battle?....
Well.......he was dried from his spiritual energy, and that bastard had left him lying on the roof, powerless, breathless, weak and panting.
That narcissist, Fifth-seat Ayasegawa, had left him powerless, breathless, weak and panting on the roof.
Fifth-seat Ayasegawa Yumichika had left him powerless, breathless and panting on a freaking roof.
...For some reason, a distant memory came up to him, about an owner of a Tattoo-shop questioning him about his 'prefrences', when he asked a tattoo of 69 on his cheek-
...The Ayasegawa Yumichika had left him breathless and panting on a roof-
-Hisagi instantly spat all of his drink on the counter.
Yumichika smirked. Success.
"He? what's with him all of a sudden?"
"Are you ok, Hisagi-san?...you became red and sweaty all of a sudden..."
"He's blushing!! Yumichika! you're SO telling what you did to him!"
"Rangiku-san! stop squealing inside my ear!"
"You know what, Taichou...suddenly I really don't want to know..."
"Same here..."
"Hmm? What do you mean, Ken-chan? I thought Hisa-gay-chan and feathers were all lovy-dovy?..."
It was Yumichika's turn to spit everything at once.
...