Anne Miller:
He was born Kevin Elijah Miller, and he was a fussy baby, though I'm not sure why. Kevin was born with a full head of hair, and a few teeth. He'd scream and scream with those teabag lungs of his until his whole body was red and covered in perspiration, the little veins sticking out from his forehead with effort. He didn't react to smiles (Kevin never smiled) or cuddles (he'd just stiffen) and a praising voice full of coos was just met with a blank sort of 'what the fuck do YOU want?' stare.
He refused breast milk point blank, spitting it out in distaste, his face contorting with dislike. Bottled, he liked well enough, so we kept him on that. As he transitioned into toddlerhood, he ignored his menagerie of toys, preferring to fling wooden blocks at the wall in malice, until marks and even small holes were made. He could raise his head and sit perfectly upright very prematurely, though we feared his lack of speech was daunting at the end of toddlerhood, besides the odd 'no'.
When toddler Kevin fell over, he would not cry or wish for a cuddle, even if he fell on a surface like concrete or fell from a distance, like off a step. He would look displeased with himself, pick himself up and carry on. He was as unreactive to his daddy as to me, disliking the normal father/son interactions-swooping over daddy's head, rolling a ball along a polished floor…no, it wasn't lack of a strong father figure that 'disrupted' Kevin, he had everything.
As a child, Kevin was particularly unruly, without remorse. They say serial killers start off with animal torture, but Kevin tolerated the company of creatures, feeling they were 'intelligent life'. Kevin would scribble repeatedly on walls, trance-like almost, and upon spanking as a punishment, he was neither unrepentant (screaming for his apoligies was just met with his ever-present silence, even when I was left frustrated enough to shake his shoulders.) nor paying in pain-he has always had an unusually high pain threshold. If left to his own devices, Kevin would create grass fires, or I would find him watching relentlessly violent television (he seamlessly worked out a way to get past the 'child blocks' on some channels) so annoyingly, constant supervision was required. I couldn't wait to get him into school.