Jetsam
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. Unfortunately.
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The September rain is muted; I use my coat as a blanket as I watch the world go by through shatter-proof glass. Such things are necessities for the commissioner of the Japanese police. Kira is on my case, as I am on his.
Sometimes I laugh so hard, my stomach hurts. At other times, I'm surprised to find salty tears on my lips.
You'd be surprised at how quiet is without the clink of chain.
The swooshing of raven-like wings above skylines is something only I hear. Even through the glass. Ryuk doesn't like sitting in the car – it makes him restless. Probably due to the lack of apples.
"We're here, sir," says the European driver. His Japanese is like yours. Twanged.
"Thank you," I respond. The door is opened for me as is a dark umbrella. I shake my head at the driver, motion for him to leave me be. "No, no need for an umbrella, I'll only be a moment." This smile hurts.
Look at that. The skies are crying.
My steps are strides, quick, like the expensive tick of the watch on my arm. I steal glances at my victory. Time is well forgotten.
I don't know where my legs are taking me. I know I have stopped and my breath comes in strained huffs. I feel like I've ran a marathon. Water, water everywhere but not a drop to drink.
My eyes are half closed but I see it – the grey white slab of stone. The English letters are blurs but I know the inscription. Here lies Ryuaga Hideki.
This is your fault – the rain, the watch, everything. Bastard, why did you give me the book that day? Capturing Higuchi was enough for you, for both of us.
After the arrest, things should have been different. I'd rub my raw wrists and be able to walk without you trailing like a leashed dog. We'd talk like civilized people, like people who weren't trying to killing each other with each passing moment, over your too-sweet tea and my bitter coffee. We'd look back and laugh.
Then why did this happen? You should've kept your head even after everything that had happened – never should've let me touch the black spine. I was the prime suspect; I was Kira in your eyes all along. A foolish step, detective, to hand concrete evidence to me of all people.
Rem kept her promise. I kept mine. I caught you when you fell. But it was I who pushed you.
Bastard. It was suicide. No…it was murder, two birds with one stone.
There's a difference, though. You're warm and snug beneath layers of earth, enclosed in a four sided wooden box. While I'm up here, soaked and shivering, losing myself while angels play the cymbals. Dead all the same – liars like us.
You would've laughed at this, I know it. That strange, all-knowing chuckle. I remember the strength of your fist in my stomach. One for one, huh? A silent agreement between us.
But where are you now? The score's uneven, that isn't right. I hear the bells loud and clear. The first time in years since a day like this. There's no one left to punch me in the jaw or fight over the blankets. Judas will you not wash my feet? Or is it only I left to play the betrayer?
I wipe the moisture from my cheeks. It's just the rain. Don't be stupid.
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Author's Notes:
1) jetsam (n) - object tossed overboard to lighten a ship
This was something that's been stuck in my mind for the longest time. Friendship or shounenai, take your pick. Please review and let me know what you think.