Tloj: Thought I was out of stories, didn't you?! I saved this one for Christmas, so joke's on you! Mwahaha!
Disclaimer! This was originally written by Starvix. I do not take credit for this story. Thank you HTKWolfe777 for providing this gem for the world!
Marley was dead, to begin with.
Oh, sweet creator, one sentence into this thing and already I want to beat my head against the wall. For one thing, who ends a sentence with a preposition? I thought Charles Dickens was supposed to be a good writer!
My name is Metal Sonic, the most deadly assassination machine in the world. And why am I wasting my time reading 'A Christmas Carol?' Well, that's a long story.
Well, not really; it's more of a painful story.
My day started like any other, pleasant, peaceful, and nice. Then I got out of my recharging station.
The first thing I noticed was that Christmas was approaching yet again. It's easy to tell around our base, because Robo Knuckles and Shadow Android go all-out this time of year. The base was covered in Christmas lights; milk and cookies had been set out on every available flat surface, and Robo Knuckles had spray painted a Santa Claus hat on all of Eggman's head logo things.
One of the most annoying things about the season is that Robo Knuckles is convinced that Eggman is Santa Claus. He's also convinced Shadow Android this is true, as well. Eggman doesn't mind because he thoroughly enjoys the way the two of them start to kiss up to him around this time of year. Hey, why else do you think he started to 'Ho ho ho' when he laughs?
Anyway, when I entered our main base, my two counterparts were already obeying Eggman's every whim in the hopes of getting stuff for Christmas. Eggman was in an excellent mood because of this.
"Ah, Metal Sonic, there you are," he said when he saw me. He was sitting in his chair in his ridiculous uniform sipping a cup of hot cocoa while Shadow Android massaged his shoulders and Robo Knuckles shined his shoes. "Are you ready to fight Sonic the Hedgehog—put your back into it!" he stopped talking to me in order to yell at Robo Knuckles, who quickly started to shine harder.
"You want me to fight Sonic the Hedgehog today?" I asked, trying to keep from groaning. Eggman's evil schemes slowed down this time of year because he so enjoyed being spoiled by his robots. But he felt he still had an evil reputation to keep, so he generally just made me go fight Sonic this time each year. I had no real desire to fight Sonic since I had deleted the programming that made me obsess over doing that; so honestly? I just felt it was a waste of time. We'd fight; he'd insult me overtly, and then he'd break something important and I'd limp home.
Yay Christmas.
"I just said that, didn't I?" Eggman asked, a hint of annoyance coming into his voice.
I nodded. "Very well," I conceded. Such is the life of a robot, I guess. I turned and left the room quickly, trying to look on the bright side of things. Maybe Sonic would trip over a rock and fall head-first down a cliff and bust his empty head open when he attacked me this time. And maybe I would meet the Tooth Fairy and she would whisk me away to Fairyland to be the Fairy Prince while I was dreaming.
"Metal Sonic, wait!"
I turned and waited for Shadow Android to catch up to me. "What is it?" I asked him, wondering why he had stopped working for goodies to come after me.
Shadow Android soon made it to me, looking both nervous and eager, as if it was actually possible for him to be either one. "I want to come with you," he said, straightening up.
I cocked my head. "Why?"
He shrugged, looking uncomfortable. "Well, um…I don't like it when you come back hurt," he admitted sheepishly.
"Robots don't get hurt," I told him curtly. "We don't have pain receptors, remember? I am damaged, but I don't actually feel anything."
"But that doesn't make me feel any better," Shadow Android insisted. "I just thought maybe I could help you this year and you won't get so damaged."
I sighed. "Shadow Android, you're thinking too much like an organic," I told him.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, we're not people. We don't hurt, we don't think, and we don't have emotions." I informed him. "You've deluded yourself into thinking we actually matter as something more than Eggman's expendable hunk of hardware, but we don't, and we never will. The sooner you realize that, the better off you will be."
Shadow Android gawked at me, his shock palatable. Hey, the truth hurts, but it's something he needs to understand. "You're wrong!" he finally blurted out. "I do too have emotions—I can feel sad and happy and mad and worried! I'm not just some tangled mass of wires and programming! I'm more than that!"
"No, you aren't," I informed him curtly. "Get used to the idea."
"Well, fine!" he snapped at me. "I hope that hedgehog knocks your stupid head off! See if I care!" With that, he turned and stomped off.
I stared after him for a moment, but he did need to know that. The 'feelings' we have aren't real; they're just programming designed to simulate organics to help get our point across. We don't feel like they do and believing otherwise interferes with our goals.
Our goals are stupid, but they're the only reason we exist so it seems a shame to interfere with them.
An hour later, I was back at the base, having fought Sonic, lost spectacularly, and limped home. I would try to explain exactly what happened, but it's pretty much the same thing every time:
I fly up to him and raise one of my weapons. "Surrender, Hedgehog, blah, blah, blah," I threaten him.
He poses and replies, "Ha! I think I'm so witty but I'm not so I now I'll try to insult you with an obvious taunt! Such as: You're just a copy of me!"
To which I give him a reply that is similar to the words, "Well, DUH."
"And I'm faster than you!" he'll add.
"Very probably," I admit. "But I'll say you're not because heaven forbid we should actually agree on something."
"And I'm going to kick your butt!" he throws in.
"Can we just move on now?" I suggest. "Because this is the exact same thing you told me last year. And the year before, and the year before…"
"UNFAIR SURPRISE ATTACK!" Tails cries as he attacks me from behind and then Sonic assaults me while I'm distracted.
"We are awesome!" Sonic then cheers.
"And we're totally not cheating because he's a robot," Tails might chime in to condone their actions. And I pick up whatever body parts are no longer attached to my person and make my way home so Eggman can reattach them.
…Ok, so obviously, this isn't exactly what we say every year, but you get the idea. It's sort of random variations of that general theme. And maybe a big lipped alligator moment every now and then to spice things up.
Anyway, now I'm lying here on the assembly bay while Eggman patches me up. Robo Knuckles is sitting next to us, babbling about inane subjects. Normally Shadow Android would be here too but it looked like he was still off pouting because he was a machine. He'll get over it.
Eggman was looking into my memory unit to make sure Sonic hadn't ruptured it when Robo Knuckles suddenly thought of a brilliant idea. So brilliant, in fact, that the only way he could properly express its brilliance was to grab Eggman's arm and shake it violently. The same arm that was currently holding a screwdriver and fiddling with delicate equipment inside my head. There was a loud scraping sound, like fingernails across a chalkboard, and brand new error message for me to enjoy popped up out of nowhere. Well, that was just perfect.
Eggman stared at my memory processors for a long moment. "Well, looks like that's going to give you a few diagnostic errors and uncomfortable hallucinations," he finally decided. "Oh, well, time for bed. It's Christmas Eve, and I need my beauty rest." With that, he stood up and walked out of the room. I kid you not, he just left me there.
I turned and glared at Robo Knuckles, who stared back, looking down at his thumbs, which he was twiddling intently.
"Why?" I asked him, knowing it was a question without an answer.
He shrugged. After an uncomfortable silence, he finally spoke up. "Metal Sonic, are you proud of me?" he asked.
I had mistakably thought that nothing he could say would ever surprise me ever again. When would I stop underestimating the bundle of stupid that is Robo Knuckles? "Say what?" I blurted out.
"I mean, you might not be very happy with me now," he admitted. "Because I broke your brain."
"Gee, ya think?" I asked him, throwing as much sarcasm into my voice chip as possible.
"But other times," he continued. "I mean, is there something I'm good at? Something that makes you proud of me?" He sounded hopeful.
I considered for a second. "No," I replied.
"Really?" he asked, sounding sad.
"You're a moron who has never been able to accomplish a single one of your objectives in your entire life," I explained.
"Oh," Robo Knuckles hung his head. "Sorry."
I shrugged, or I would have but my left shoulder had been sheared off of me by a Hedgehog buzz saw named Sonic. Which had led to several immature 'You're all right!' jokes. "It's not your fault you're incompetent."
He looked deep in thought. "If I completed an objective, then would you be proud of me?" He asked hopefully.
"Sure," I humored him.
"Yay!" he cheered, darting out of the room. In three seconds, he rushed back in and threw something at my head. "Merry Christmas," he informed me before darting back out.
"You threw a book at my head!" I yelled back at him before picking the book up. It was a copy of A Christmas Carol, complete with a red bow on it. Apparently, a Christmas present for me. Well, it was boring here, and it would be a looong night once those diagnostic errors and uncomfortable hallucinations kicked in. So what the heck.
And that's why I read A Christmas Carol, bad grammar and all.
"Wake up, brat-bot."
I slowly felt myself reboot as a familiar—and well-despised—voice encouraged me to power on.
"Get up already!" the voice snapped again. My sensory output came online and I confirmed what I had already suspected. Another robot was looking down at me; looking startlingly similar to Sonic the Hedgehog. His quills, unlike my own star-shaped formation, were single file down his head and his frame was heavier and bulkier than my own streamlined design. He was a glinting silver color and his red-on-black optics glowed in the dark as he stared at me.
"YOU!" I snarled at Silver Sonic, trying to slice his chest plate off with my knife-like fingers. Unfortunately, my arm was still missing, but he got that I wasn't pleased to see him.
"I see you're as excitable as ever," Silver Sonic told me, crossing his arms.
"I am not!" I spat at him. "What are you doing here? I thought I blew your freaking head off!"
"You did," Silver Sonic admitted, grabbing his head and removing it from his body, holding it up in mid air. "See?"
"Whoa," I blinked slowly. "That is disturbing."
"You don't know the half of it," Silver Sonic replied, putting his head back on. "And before you ask, no I'm not a spirit, or a ghost. Robots don't have spirits and there's no such thing as ghosts."
"Then what are you then?" I demanded to know.
"Well, you remember how Metal Knuckles got Eggman to mess up your memory core? I'm part of your diagnostic errors and unsettling hallucinations."
"Part? Wait, you mean there's more to this? Because you're a nightmare all by yourself, even if you weren't able to dangle your head in mid air."
"You still don't like me, do you?" Silver Sonic asked, sounding amused.
"Why, whatever gave you that silly idea?" I asked. "I hate your guts and I was glad to get rid of you! And why are you here, anyway?"
"Well, your fractured memory anagrams are drawing heavily on the story A Christmas Carol for your unsettling hallucinations. I'm supposed to be your Jacob Marley, since you probably don't have enough logic circuits to figure that out by yourself."
"You see, that right there is one of the reasons I hate you," I pointed out. "So what, I'm Scrooge? I'm nothing like Scrooge, I don't hate Christmas. I've wished I was never manufactured a couple of times, why don't we do It's a Wonderful Life instead, and you can be the random guy who gets hit by a bus?"
"That comment alone shows why we can't, since you obviously haven't even seen it," Silver Sonic replied. "We're sticking to A Christmas Carol."
"Darn, I liked the idea of you getting hit by a bus," I sulked. "Fine, go ahead and say your stupid spiel about how evil I am so you can leave."
"You are evil," Silver Sonic admitted. "But I'm here because you're being a jerk to Metal Knuckles and Shadow Android."
"Ha!" I sneered. "And again I say: HA!"
"OK, I admit that sounds hypocritical of me," Silver Sonic sighed. "But that is sort of the point of my being, you know, Jacob Marley. I'm trying to keep you from making the same mistakes I did."
"You even being here is the mistake," I snapped. "And if you'll hand me my hand, I can remedy that."
"Sarcasm again. You've gotten quite good at it," Silver Sonic commented. "But you weren't always that way. Remember, I was once charged to care for you the way you care for Metal Knuckles and Shadow Android."
"Well, I don't need you to look after me!" I snapped. "I get it; you're a jerk, so am I and so now you go away and I never see you again."
"Actually, I'm going to be staying with you," Silver Sonic replied, sitting down on the edge of the worktable. "Your mind's so messed up you need me to keep you focused on the 'you really need to change' message."
"Wait, so you mean you're going to be stalking my every move and constantly remind me I'm not good enough again? Have you NOTHING better to do?"
"No, not really. Since you blew my head off things have been really slow for me," Silver Sonic admitted. "Anyway, I'll suture your arm back on so you can be ready for Christmas Past."
An uneasy silence fell over the room as Silver Sonic took a blowtorch and used it to suture my arm back on. Surprisingly, my arm worked fine after it was back on even though none of the intricate wiring that let it work could possibly have been reattached. It must have been because I was experiencing diagnostic malfunctions and unsettling hallucinations.
I sat there with Silver Sonic for about a minute after he had finished, thinking up new and amusing ways to destroy him again, when a light lit up the center of the room. We both looked as the light touched the ground, then slowly morphed into the body of Christmas Past.
Incidentally, Christmas Past looked like Sonic the Hedgehog as a child, back when Eggman's plans mainly involved putting animals in robots and Sonic's only attack was a spin dash.
Oh, and he was dressed like the Statue of Liberty. Crown, torch, book and all.
"What the CRAP?" I blurted out.
"Don't ask me," Sonic replied, sounding a lot like Jaleel White. Sonic had never actually sounded like that, at least, not that I could recall. But it amused me to think of Jaleel White's voice coming out of Sonic the Hedgehog's mouth. Still, this was highly unsettling.
"Why is Sonic dressed like the Statue of Liberty and sound like Jaleel White?" I asked. "Should I be worried?"
"It's your mind," Silver Sonic pointed out. "So you tell me why Sonic is dressed like the Statue of Liberty and sounds like Jaleel White."
"I only look like Sonic, I'm actually Christmas Past," the creature in my room explained. "Traditionally, my name is longer, but then I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder so I decided to hurry things along."
"Uh-huh," I said, looking around for an exit. "And you're here to show me my past, right?"
"Yup," Christmas Past said eagerly, holding out his torch to me. "Here, grab the burning part of my torch."
"Uh…"
"Don't worry, it's plastic," Christmas Past explained. "I got it at a gift shop."
"Actually, now I'm more worried," I replied, but I took hold of the plastic flames on the plastic torch anyway. Silver Sonic put his hand on my arm and the world seemed to warp in on itself and a heavy wind appeared out of nowhere. When it died down, I recognized Eggman's old lair; the one I had been crafted in.
"Wow," I said, memories flooding through my circuits. "I haven't seen this place since Eggman decided the bellybutton on his hundred and fifty two foot solid gold statue of himself looked tacky."
"Yeah, he decided to tear the place down after that, didn't he?" Silver Sonic commented.
"He did," I confirmed, but I was no longer paying attention to the horribly tacky surroundings I had been programmed in. Instead my attention was focused on a younger version of myself.
Actually, I looked more or less the same, except maybe with fewer weapon apps and my fingers weren't sharp and clawed. I had acted much younger then though; my programming was still new and I was just starting to learn how to use my artificial intelligence function.
"Do you remember today?" Silver Sonic asked me.
"Yeah," I said gloomily as I saw Eggman and a younger Silver Sonic walk up to the younger me. "This is the day I met you for the first time."
Past Eggman pointed at Past Silver Sonic. "Metal Sonic, this is Silver Sonic. You listen to him, do you hear me?"
"Kay," Past Metal Sonic said eagerly. Past Eggman walked away, looking over his shoulder at his newest creation as if he was afraid Past Metal Sonic would attack him as he hurried out of sight.
However, Past Metal Sonic's attention was on Young Silver Sonic, though. "Hi," he said, waving shyly.
Past Silver Sonic seemed to glare at him. "Let's get one thing straight: I don't like you, I never will like you, and nothing you do can change that, got it?"
Past Metal Sonic considered. "Is that good?" he wondered.
"Figure it out," Past Silver Sonic instructed as he walked away, leaving Metal Sonic alone. He paused for a moment.
"OK!" He cheerily called after Younger Silver Sonic.
I glared at my Silver Sonic, you know, the one who could take his head off his body. He calmly looked back at me.
"You know, I stood in that hallway for ten hours and created five different subroutines trying to figure that out," I told him dryly.
"And don't you feel more enriched from the experience?" Silver Sonic asked me smugly.
"I'll show you what would make me feel enriched!" I snarled, tackling him and punching him in the head. Christmas Past quickly pulled me off of him.
"Alright, alright, break it up," he ordered. "We've got a lot more to see now so come on."
The world sped up as if it was on fast forward. After a few minutes, it slowed down again, showing a different Christmas season.
"Oh, I remember this day," I said knowingly. "This is the end of the SSSS Squad."
"Thank God," Silver Sonic added. Yeah, there was one thing we both agreed on, and that was the fact that we both hated Scratch, Grounder, and Coconuts, more commonly known as the SSSS Squad.
"This is important," Christmas Past said. "Watch."
"What are you doing?" Past Metal Sonic asked Scratch. He was watching Grounder and Coconuts tying a rope to ensure that a giant boulder sitting on a tree that was leaning way to close to the ground stayed put.
"Wouldn't you like to know, you runt?" Scratch asked.
"Get out of here, dweeb-bot!" Grounder snapped at him. "We're gonna catch the hedgehog, and we don't want you here!"
Past Metal Sonic huffed. "Fine! I don't know why you care about that stupid stinky old hedgehog anyway!" With that, he stomped his foot and rushed off.
"Be careful with that," Coconuts warned. "You're gonna break…"
Past Metal Sonic turned just in time to see the tree snap and the boulder crash onto Scratch, Grounder, and Coconuts, squishing them flat.
Past Eggman had a fit when he found out. "I'm sick of cleaning up after those ignoramuses!" he yelled. "Well, this time, I'm not fixing them!"
"Do you see?" Christmas past asked me.
"See what? That the SSSS Squad were losers?" I asked.
"No," Christmas Past sounded frustrated that I didn't get this. "If you had stayed, you'd have been squished flat too!"
I stared at him. "Why the crap would I want to get squished flat? It was a good thing that I left, you nimrod!"
"Oh…" Christmas Past considered this. "Well, did you like hanging out with those guys before they were squished?"
"No, because they used to called me names and beat me up!"
Christmas Past seemed to sweat drop. "…Nevermind," he said hastily, taking us to another Christmas.
"Do you remember this?" Silver Sonic wanted to know.
I nodded, staring at my past self intently. "My first job," I whispered, clenching my fists.
"Hey, did you guys know that the Statue of Liberty's book thing has actual letters in it?" Christmas Past asked, holding his book out and inspecting it critically. "It says, 'July IV MDCCLXXVI.' What the crap does that even mean?"
I ignored him and watched as Past Eggman spoke to Past me.
"Metal Sonic," Past Eggman said, sounding serious, "I have a job for you."
"Really? Like the ones you give to Silver Sonic?" Past Metal Sonic asked eagerly. "That is so cool!"
"Right…" Past Eggman stared at Past Metal Sonic with this worried look. Wow, did that look bring back memories. I remember when he used to stare at me like that every single day. But back to the present…or the past, as the case may be. "You see, a planet named Little Planet has made an orbital passing—it only does so on the last month of every year—and I've chained it to our world and encased it in metal."
"Why?" Past Metal Sonic asked.
"Huh?"
"Do you like metal?" The robot added. "Because you use it an awful lot."
"Well, yes, I am rather fond of metal," Past Eggman admitted.
Past Metal Sonic somehow seemed to beam at him. "Thanks."
"I wasn't complimenting you! Just because your name is Metal doesn't…forget it. Anyway, the planet's unique time properties will make an excellent base for me. But I need to get rid of that blue pest—and that's where you come in."
Past Metal Sonic leaned forward in his seat, eagerly waiting for Past Eggman's instructions.
"It seems that blue nuisance has a little girlfriend now," Past Eggman replied, pointing to a picture of a young Sonic the Hedgehog with a young Amy Rose, who were looking up at the chained and metallic Little Planet.
"That planet doesn't look very little," Past Metal Sonic commented, inspecting the surveillance footage critically.
"Will you stop taking everything so literally all the time?" Past Eggman snapped. "It's annoying to have a naïve killer robot, ok? Just stop."
"Yes, sir."
"Good, now, you're going to kidnap that girl hedgehog and make Sonic chase you to try to rescue her, giving me time to permanently annex Little Planet as my base, understand?"
"Yes." Past Metal Sonic said. "But what's 'kidnap' mean?"
Past Eggman glared at her. "Just grab her and run the other way. You can handle that, right?"
"I think so…"
I cleared my throat loudly. "Ok, that was very enlightening, but I think we should move on now…"
"Are you kidding? We'd miss the most important part," Silver Sonic scoffed. "The whole point of this ridiculous flashback: to remind you of how you used to be."
"But I don't want to remember how I used to be!" I whined.
"Why? How did you used to be?" Christmas Past seemed interested now. Crap.
"Let's just say I've done some things in my past that I'm not proud of, and leave it at that," I explained hastily, hoping he would leave it at that.
"Ooh, something that an assassination robot with no conscience is ashamed to have done? Now I'm curious," Christmas Past rubbed his hands together eagerly. "Let's take a look."
Silver Sonic looked at me smugly. "Check and mate," he crowned.
I buried my head in my hands and moaned.
Past Metal Sonic rushed out of the base, but paused and shrieked. "I HAVE A MISSION!"
Filled with the wonder and euphoria one can only obtain with a newfound sense of purpose, Past Metal Sonic skipped happily through the forest, deciding to express his feelings with a proper song and dance routine.
"Out of the base
I feel so free
It's everything I always dreamt it would be
Is this the day I understand why I am what I am?"
He did a hop/skip onto a large rock and threw his arms wide, turning around slowly in a full circle as he pondered. Jumping down, he took a good look at his surroundings, and as he was still feeling somewhat artistic, he started to sing again.
"The sky is greenish blue
With a somewhat lemon hue
And the ocean is as thick as stew
Is this the day I finally see what is in store for me?"
With this sentiment sung, he started to tap dance. Spotting a Flicky bird who was staring at him curiously, Past Metal Sonic stopped tap dancing and sang to it.
"Ohhhh this is my time!
This is my life!
This is my day to shine like the star I know I hide insiiiiiiiideeee!
And I—"
"For the love of all that is holy SHUT UP!" The Flicky suddenly shrieked, causing Past Metal Sonic to freeze mid-pose while he was doing jazz hands.
"What's wrong?" the now bewildered robot asked.
"Look, I've tried to be a nice guy, but you have got to be the worst singer/dancer/songwriter on the face of the planet! Do the world a favor and NEVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN!" The bird ordered before flying off. "Geez, I just want one nice day without crap happening to me, is that too much to ask?" he sobbed before he went out of earshot.
Past Metal Sonic stood there awkwardly for a moment before quickly hurrying on his way.
Yes, that is an actual memory. I was young, ok? I…it wasn't my fault! It was somebody else's fault…Eggman. Yes, he's responsible for bad things; this is his fault. Not mine. His.
Christmas Past was literally rolling on the floor laughing. "Oh, man, it's so bad it's good!" he gasped out as he struggled to breathe.
"You see what I had to put up with?" Silver Sonic demanded, pointing at my past self while glaring at me.
"Big deal," I shot back. "At least I have the decency to be ashamed of it. You try living with Metal Knuckles for a week and then you can cry me a river, you shmuck!"
By now, Christmas Past had regained control of himself and sat up, wiping tears from his eyes. "Ok, I've had my fun," he admitted, taking a few deep breaths to steady himself. "Let's skip ahead to just after you kidnapped Amy Rose."
"What? No!" I yelled at him. "I don't want to see anymore!"
"Boo-hoo for you then," Christmas Past informed me unsympathetically before the world fast-forwarded to where I sat in a clearing with a terrified eight-year-old Amy Rose.
I felt something when I saw the way she used to look…I don't know how to describe it, actually, but it was unpleasant. Her hair had been longer back then; and she kept it up in pigtails. She'd worn a green dress designed for a young girl. She had matured a lot in the years we'd known each other; she was almost like a completely different person now. It made it a lot easier to…
"I don't want to see this," I insisted.
"Shh," Silver Sonic shushed me, sounding regretful.
Past Amy hugged her knees and looked at Past Metal Sonic, who was mimicking her pose. She had been frightened at first when he had appeared out of nowhere and grabbed her. But he didn't act as if he intended to hurt her, which slowly let her regain her confidence. Actually, he was very interesting.
Past Amy cocked her head to the side and he did the same. Slowly, she raised a hand and gave a half-hearted wave; he waved back. Amy gave him a slight grin.
"I've never seen a robot before," she finally said. "I didn't know they were real."
"I've never seen a girl before," Past Metal Sonic replied. After a pause, he added, "I didn't know they were real, either."
Past Amy stood up, encouraged that he made no move to stop her. She took a few steps to see what he would do, but he simply watched her. She wondered if he would let her leave; but she didn't know where she was anyway so it wouldn't really matter if she stayed or left. She rocked on her heels, holding her hands behind her back.
Suddenly she jumped forward, startling Past Metal Sonic so he fell backwards onto his rear end. "Tell me about yourself, Mr. Robot!" Past Amy said forcefully.
Past Metal Sonic paused, considering her order. "I'm Metal Sonic," he said finally, thinking that was a good place to start.
Past Amy cocked her head. "Like Sonic the Hedgehog?" she asked.
"Yes. But with metal," Past Metal Sonic replied, sounding very proud of himself.
Past Amy giggled. "So why did you kidnap me?"
"Because he told me too," Past Metal Sonic replied, as if stating the obvious.
Past Amy seemed to sweat drop. "Um.. who's 'he'?"
"He is, of course."
"Oh…right." She decided to drop the subject and move on. Looking around, she decided she was bored. "Do you want to play a game?"
"What's that?"
Past Amy froze. "You don't know how to play games?"
Past Metal Sonic shook his head.
"That's awful!" Past Amy gasped, putting her hands to her mouth in horror. "Oh, you poor thing! I know, we'll play Hide and Seek. Right now!"
Past Metal Sonic tried to comprehend what this girl was doing and saying as she grabbed his hand and led him to a large tree at the edge of the clearing. "Alright, you close your eyes and count to one hundred while I hide. Then you try to find me! Then I count and you hide. Understand?"
Past Metal Sonic nodded eagerly. This sounded fun! He quickly shut down his optic sensors and started to count. "One…two…three…four…five…"
Finally reaching one hundred, the excited machine rushed off into the woods to find Past Amy.
"And they lived happily ever after," I blurted out. "Let's go now."
"It's not over. You know that," Silver Sonic chided me.
"Don't make me see this," I begged. Hey, I'm not a proud robot. And if it would get me out of watching what came next…
No dice. Silver Sonic simply shook his head. "No, this is how you started to become the machine you are." He paused, then added softly, "The machine that I turned you into."
Past Metal Sonic saw a large rock that would be perfect for Past Amy to hide behind and stealthily snuck up to it. He tensed for a moment, then jumped behind it. "Found you!" he yelled. Then he paused; Amy wasn't there. "Oh," he said. "I guess I didn't."
Past Metal Sonic shrugged and turned around—to come face-to-face with Past Silver Sonic, who had appeared behind him out of nowhere.
"AHH!" Past Metal Sonic shrieked.
Past Silver Sonic stared at him, crossing his arms. "Where's the girl?" he demanded. "Don't tell me you're so incompetent you even messed that up."
"I got her," Past Metal Sonic said proudly. "Now we're playing Hide and Seek. I'm the one who seeks."
Past Silver Sonic was silent for a moment. Then he suddenly grabbed Past Metal Sonic and slammed him into the rock, pinning him there. "You WHAT?" he yelled.
"I…it's a game," Past Metal Sonic stammered, frightened at Past Silver Sonic's sudden ferocity. The elder robot had often been cross with him, but never like this.
"You IDIOT. Are you too stupid to realize she was using you? She ran off right in front of you!"
In spite of himself, Past Metal Sonic shook his head. "N-no, it's a game, Amy wouldn't…"
"Don't call her that!" Past Silver Sonic snapped. "She's the target. Nothing more. We use her to get to the hedgehog, and then we terminate her."
"But…I don't want to terminate her," Past Metal Sonic protested. "I like her."
"For God's sake, you're a machine! You don't have feelings, and if you did they wouldn't matter! You do what you're told, and I'm telling you to kill that girl the next time you see her!"
"No!" Past Metal Sonic sobbed.
"You stupid, useless, worthless machine! You don't do anything right and you act like you have feelings and you aren't worth keeping around! I'll scrap you myself!" Past Silver Sonic snarled. "And then I'll take care of the girl personally."
"I won't let you. I WON'T!" With a desperate shriek, Past Metal Sonic pushed his predecessor off of him. With a snarl, his hand morphed into a laser gun, and he aimed it at Past Silver Sonic's head, and turned it on.
By this time, Past Amy had gotten bored because she had been hiding so long, so she went to look for Past Metal Sonic. She never heard the conversation. She only got there in time to see him blow Past Silver Sonic's head off. She stifled a gasp, staring at the headless robot and Past Metal Sonic's gun in shock.
"Amy…"
"Get away from me!" Past Amy screamed, scrambling backwards. "Don't come near me!"
Within the space of five minutes, Past Metal Sonic had heard the closest thing he had to a parent claim he was stupid, worthless, and state he intended to destroy him. He had then destroyed that parental figure to save a girl he thought was his friend. Now that girl didn't want anything to do with him.
The negative emotional overload was enough to short out much stronger robots. Past simply buried it deep, deep into his subconscious systems so they wouldn't overload his operating systems. The only emotion he now felt was a deep, fierce anger.
"I'll do what I want!" he snarled, rushing Amy and grabbing her. Throwing the screaming girl over his shoulder, he activated his rocket jets and blasted off. Amy hit his back and yelled at him to let her go.
"Robots don't feel pain," Past Metal Sonic snapped, trying to convince himself more than her. He wanted these feelings to stop, stop, stop... "So I don't feel pain and you can't hurt me. YOU CAN'T!"
A blue blur caught his attention and Past Metal Sonic quickly diverted his course to catch Sonic's attention.
Maybe fighting would let him feel numb…
Why did they show me this? Wasn't it bad enough to live through it?
Hurt, rejection, guilt, shame, loss, anguish...emotions I had buried deep were now swirling around in my mainframe. I couldn't handle them, not all at once, not at this intensity. I collapsed to my knees and buried my head in my hands.
"Robots don't feel, robots don't feel, robots don't feel," I muttered to myself over and over, willing the emotions to go away on the basis that they shouldn't exist.
"But you do," Silver Sonic pointed out softly.
"It's your fault it hurts!" I yelled at him. "I hate you so much for making me hurt like this!"
"I know."
Christmas Past, being a master of bad timing, chimed in. "Next we can go see what happened with your first fight against Sonic the Hedgehog!"
"GAAH!" I screamed. "I'm gonna take that torch and shove it right up your—"
"AAA!" Christmas Past screamed as I snarled and tried to tackle him. He jumped out of the way and huffed. "Fine! I won't stay where I'm not wanted!" With that, he disappeared, and we were back in Eggman's current base.
Silver Sonic and I stood next to each other for a long time. "…I have to go through that two more times, don't I?" I finally asked him.
"Yes. Yes you do."
Another flash appeared and Charmy, Espio, and Vector appeared, wearing costumes that made them appear like wrapped gifts.
Silver Sonic looked at them for a long moment, then back at me. "Let me guess," he said dryly. "Christmas Present?"
"Presents," the Charmy look-alike corrected.
"Cuz who only wants one present on Christmas?" Vector's doppelganger added.
"Shall we begin?" Espio's copy suggested.
"Knock yourself out."
A back beat started out of nowhere, and the three of them started…ok, this is odd, even for me…but they started rapping.
"Come forth and know us better man
Come on take us by the hand
We will see this great land
Just come on and know is better yeah
The day dies in the west
The sun goes down for its well deserved rest
Past is past today remains and I'mma show you thangs
This is a improvised line I made it to take up time
And time is fun cause it rhymes with….rhyme…
Yeah ok I'm done."
"Thank God," I muttered.
Silver Sonic snickered. "He who makes up stupid songs shouldn't critique others," he chided.
"Get a life, Bobo Boy," I snapped at him.
Christmas Vector straightened slightly as if recomposing himself before clearing his throat. "OK, so we're gonna show you this year's Christmas. Come on, we ain't got all night."
"I have to be in bed by six!" Christmas Charmy explained.
"Yeah, there's that, plus we sort of disappear at midnight like Cinderella's clothes," Christmas Espio added.
"What?" I spluttered in shock.
"Get your mind out of the gutter and onto more important things, cuz here we go," Christmas Vector snapped before the world shifted again.
We reappeared in Eggman's command center, where Metal Knuckles and Shadow Android were standing and admiring a Christmas Nativity Scene they had just decided to put up.
"Hey, where's the wise men?" Metal Knuckles suddenly blurted out, seeing an obvious flaw in their Nativity Scene.
"There are no wise men," Shadow Android replied. "They don't show up until Jesus is two years old and by that time they're no longer in the cave."
"What cave?" Metal Knuckles demanded to know. "Jesus was born in a barn!"
"No he wasn't, that's just commercialism talking," Shadow Android insisted. "Back then stables were usually caves people converted for use. Jesus was born in a cave."
"Where is that in the Bible?" Metal Knuckles snapped. "Stop spreading heresy, Shadow Android!"
"It's not heresy, and you've let go of the commands of God for the traditions of men!"
"You speak heresy! Heresy, I say!"
"You're a slave to commercialism!"
"Heresy!"
"Commercialism!"
"Heresy!"
"Commercialism!"
"Heresy!"
"Commercialism!"
"That's not enlightening. They do that every year," I pointed out. "They won't stop until I tell them to avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless."
"We know," Christmas Espio replied. "We also knew that you wouldn't accept this as a legitimate Christmas Present without their yearly Nativity fight."
I considered this. "Point taken," I admitted. "Very well, carry on."
Christmas Charmy did a short breakdance and the world shifted again. I saw Shadow Android sitting on some boxes in one of our storage rooms. He looked depressed.
"Is he still pouting?" I wondered.
"Shut up and listen," Christmas Vector snapped. "We turn into dust like the guys who looked into the Ark of the Covenant at midnight, so we got no time for your crap."
"Can you find some simile that's not completely disturbing?" Silver Sonic asked curiously.
"We melt like the Wicked Witch of the West at midnight, so we don't have time for your crap either," Vector replied.
"That's what I thought," Silver Sonic mused.
Shadow Android's gaze was fixed firmly downward as he muttered to himself, staring at one of Eggman's blueprints. "I don't believe him. I don't want to believe him. But…he's never lied to me before…"
There was a crackle of static from a nearby terminal and Eggman's voice spoke up. "Shadow Android, come here for a moment."
Shadow Android paused for a moment before slowly getting off his box and making his way to Eggman's office. "You wanted to see me?" he asked.
"Yes, I did," Eggman replied. "As you know, Metal Sonic is currently incapacitated right now, and Metal Knuckles is a moron who has never completed a single objective, so I need you to go after Sonic the Hedgehog for me today."
Shadow Android looked surprised. "Me?" he asked. "Why?"
"Um…Because…Because I told you too!" Eggman snapped.
The black machine considered for a moment, then nodded. "Alright," he said.
Eggman gawked at him. "Really?" he asked, sounding awed.
"Is that a problem?"
"No, it's just…wow, I can't believe you're going to obey me without a billion questions why or telling me to be nicer to Metal Sonic."
"I was built to obey you," Shadow Android said listlessly. "Nothing else matters."
"Well, whatever the reason, I like it," Eggman said happily. "I think you may become a reliable minion yet!"
I hadn't known Shadow Android had tried to stand up for me whenever he spoke to Eggman. That emotional glitch must have been stronger than I thought. Oh, well, it looked like he was getting over it now, although I wasn't sure I liked the idea of him fighting Sonic the Hedgehog.
"It looks like Shadow Android is growing up," I commented.
Christmas Vector and Christmas Espio exchanged glances. "I suppose you could see it that way," Christmas Espio commented.
"You'd better come with us," Christmas Vector added. "Metal Knuckles is doing some 'growing up' of his own."
"…What?"
But Charmy was breakdancing again, and the world shifted to our recharging bay, where Metal Knuckles was pacing back and forth.
"Metal Sonic is the bestest in the world," he was saying to a teddy bear he had gotten from who knows where. "And I want him to be proud of me. It will make me the happiest ever! I just gotta complete an objective."
He paused, apparently scanning through his files for an objective to complete. "Hmm, here's one. Priority One Objective."
In spite of myself, I laughed. "Priority One Objective is to destroy Sonic the Hedgehog," I commented. "Good luck completing that one, Metal Knuckles."
"The boy aims high, doesn't he?" Silver Sonic asked, sounding amused.
"Please, he just found the file 'Objectives' and picked the first one on the list."
Metal Knuckles cocked his head as he tried to read Priority One Objective's file. "Uh…de…deee story….I have to read a story? Oh, wait, that's destroy! I can destroy. Metal Sonic says I'm extremely good at it. Oh, man, there's like, fifty billion words in this objective! This is boring…I know, I'll destroy everything, and then I'll have completed Priority One Objective! It's brilliant!"
Elated at discovering a purpose, Metal Knuckles grabbed his teddy bear and danced around with it. "And I'll start my destroying with you, Mr. Fluffins," he added, before slicing the bear to pieces. He watched pieces of fluff fall to the ground. "Next, I think I'll destroy the French," he mused before taking off.
"I think I saw this plotline on a TV show once," Silver Sonic muttered.
"I don't believe it!" I groaned. "There's only four words in Priority One Objective. 'Destroy Sonic the Hedgehog.' Are you seriously telling me he can't even take the time to read four words?"
"Can't you even take the time to tell him you're proud of him?" Silver Sonic shot back. "Oh, wait, that's an emotional response, isn't it?"
"I don't have emotions!" I yelled. "I can't be proud of either of them!"
"But you are, and you know you are," Silver Sonic said softly. "You just don't want to admit it."
I crossed my arms and huffed. I don't care what my diagnostic errors and uncomfortable hallucinations tell me. I'm a machine, and that's all there is to it.
The Christmas Presents cleared their throats to regain our attention.
"We realize what we're about to do is pointless, just like it was in the original book, but we went to a lot of trouble to get it ready and by gum we're gonna do it," Christmas Vector said to explain what they intended to do.
"BEHOLD!" Christmas Espio added, and both Vector and Espio raised their Christmas bathrobe things. A filthy, ragged Cream was under Vector's robe, and a filthy, ragged Cheese was under Espio's robe.
Silver Sonic and I stared at the two for a long moment. Silver Sonic turned and fixed a steady gaze on me. "I'm really starting to worry about your mental health," he gently informed me.
"This was in the freaking Christmas Carol book," I pointed out. "If anything, you should worry about Dicken's mental health."
"The girl is Cream and the boy is Cheese," Christmas Vector said gravely.
"Watch out for them, for their names are puns and puns are to be avoided at all costs," Christmas Espio stated.
"Yes, puns are for children, not grown people," Christmas Vector added.
"Be wary, O ye who write, for DOOM is written on their foreheads," Christmas Espio warned.
I looked at Cream and Cheese's foreheads and sure enough, the word 'DOOM' was written on them with a bright red marker.
"I did that," Christmas Charmy said proudly, holding up his marker.
Silver Sonic didn't have to say anything. He just motioned towards the three Christmas Presents and their pun warning.
"Alright, now I'm worried about my mental health," I sheepishly admitted.
Luckily, the sound of a clock striking Midnight rang in the background and the Christmas Presents, Cream, and Cheese dissolved into nothingness.
"Thank God," I muttered. "Nothing could have been as disturbing as that."
"You haven't met Christmas Future yet," Silver Sonic pointed out.
"How could Christmas Future possibly be more awful than what I just witnessed?" I wondered aloud.
"Well, I don't know if he is or not, but I think he comes pretty close," Silver Sonic replied, jabbing his thumb back to where Christmas Future had materialized out of thin air.
I took a good long look and groaned. "Oh, dear Lord, is nothing sacred?" I asked.
"Apparently not," Silver Sonic stated as Christmas Future sauntered fully into view. He looked like Eggman dressed in a Santa Claus suit.
"You were right, that is disturbing," I muttered as Christmas Future placed a finger to his nose.
"Ho, ho, ho," he chuckled before the world went black.
We reappeared in the ruins of an old city. The ground was hard and nothing grew; a thick dust covered everything. Dirt and refuse covered everything for miles around. Everything was rusty and in disrepair.
"What happened here?" I asked, shocked at the state of the world I found myself in.
Two little robots suddenly appeared over the horizon, one sleek, white, and pristine, the other boxy and filthy from centuries of neglect.
"W…Waaaalll-eeee," the boxy one said, holding his hand out.
The white one looked unimpressed. "Eve," she replied curtly.
"Eeevaaa?" the boxy one replied, sounding bewildered.
"What the crud is this?" I asked, my frustration levels rising even more than what was normal with a conversation with Metal Knuckles.
"I think Christmas Future took us a little too far into the future," Silver Sonic explained, giving Christmas Future a dirty look.
Christmas Future looked sheepish, but he shrugged and placed his finger to his nose again. "Ho, ho, ho," he remarked, and the world faded into black again.
This time we ended up in Tails Prower's house in Mystic Ruins. Tails, Sonic, and Amy, all appearing a little older than what they were now, were having a Christmas celebration.
"This one's from me, Sonic," Tails said proudly, handing the blue hedgehog a wrapped package.
"Aw, thanks li'l bro," Sonic replied, rubbing Tails' head before accepting his package.
"It's still so strange to think that he's finally gone," Amy said, opening one of the presents addressed to her. "It's going to feel strange walking out of my house without wondering if I'll be kidnapped again today."
"Yeah, normally I'd just think that we'd have a couple of months without seeing his ugly tin mug, but I don't think even he can be repaired after melting in a pile of molten lava," Sonic admitted.
"I'm glad he's gone," Tails said happily. "He never did one good thing in his whole life."
"Normally I wouldn't celebrate the demise of an adversary, but it probably is for the best that he's gone," Sonic admitted. "Now that Shadow Android has become such as threat, I might have had trouble trying to keep track of the both of them."
"I wonder if Eggman will have a funeral…" Amy wondered.
"Amy, he was a robot," Tails pointed out. "I don't think Eggman will care that much."
"I don't know, he might, provided the funeral home offered a free luncheon afterwards," Sonic laughed.
"Sonic! That's mean!" Amy chided, but she was trying to keep from laughing herself.
"Ok, then," I said, crossing my arms. "That was very enlightening."
"I know it doesn't make much sense now, but you'll figure it out in the end," Silver Sonic informed me.
"Oh, please. Ebenezer Scrooge might have been so stupid he couldn't see the obvious, but I'm not him. I knew from Christmas Future's first vision that Scrooge was who they were talking about, and I know that they're talking about me here. I finally got destroyed beyond repair and nobody really cares. Big whoop."
"Don't feel too devastated, now," Silver Sonic told me dryly.
"I've always known it would end that way," I stated. "And I don't really care if it changes or not."
"Want to see what happens to Shadow Android and Metal Knuckles?" Silver Sonic asked.
"Why not? I have time."
We found ourselves in Eggman's old base, which was mere ruins now. Oddly enough, not a single blade of grass remained in what used to be a very rural area.
Christmas Future motioned for me to enter the only remaining room with a wave of his hand. I stepped through it and my optics widened.
Metal Knuckles was sitting there, a small pile of grass in the floor in front of him. He looked awful; his hull was dull and it creaked as if he hadn't had any maintenance for years. He moved as if he was using his reserve batteries and they were almost drained.
I watched, torn between feeling horrified at his state of disrepair and amused at his single-minded determination as he picked up a single blade of grass and ripped it to shreds.
"Fifteen billion, four hundred and fifty two million, seventy five thousand, nine hundred and twenty-one," he stated. He picked up another blade of grass and sliced it in half. "Fifteen billion, four hundred and fifty two million, seventy five thousand, nine hundred and twenty and twenty-two…"
"Let me guess, he's destroying everything in the world one blade of grass at a time," I said.
"He wants to be thorough," Silver Sonic replied.
"He doesn't even know I'm gone, does he?" I asked sadly as we watched Metal Knuckles meticulously slice through the grass until his batteries finally gave out around Fifteen billion, four hundred and fifty two million, seventy five thousand, nine hundred and ninety-seven. With no way to recharge himself and no one who cared enough to do it for him, he would simply lay there and rust for all of eternity.
I looked away, a sharp twinge of regret shooting through my operating systems. "Did he…ever hear me say I was proud of him?" I asked Silver Sonic softly.
He didn't reply for a long moment. "Come, we still need to see Shadow Android now."
Our next stop was at what was apparently, Eggman's base in the future. It was harder to spot from a distance, more technologically advanced, and generally better than the one I lived in.
Once inside, we soon found Shadow Android. It was very easy to do considering how loudly he was screaming.
"What is wrong with you three?" he shrieked.
Curious, I walked ahead of my Christmas Future and Silver Sonic to get a good look at what was going on. Shadow Android was standing in a hallway, covered in what looked to be chicken feathers, glaring at three robots who I had never seen before.
The first was a small, spherical robot with a round head. His eyes and mouth glowed a neon blue color. His torso was comprised of a ball joint with thin metal bars and his bottom was a half of a sphere. He was a red-and-black color. "You were complaining about having to deal with the chickens," he explained. "Ergo, we decided to help."
"Really?" Shadow Android sounded very put-out. "And who the crap put the chickens in the base in the first place, Orbot?"
"I…well…"
"Ooh, me, me, I know, pick me!" Another robot cried, raising his arm wildly. This one was black-and-yellow. He appeared more humanish than anthromorphish, and had yellow gauntlets and a strange yellow arrow pattern on his head. A blue crystal was sitting on the middle of his forehead. His eyes were blue with a red ring surrounding it, and he had no mouth. He looked quite excited.
"Yes, Gemerl?" Shadow Android asked politely, sounding strained.
Gemerl pointed at the third robot. "He did it!"
The third Sonic looked astoundingly like Sonic the Hedgehog; almost as an amazing replica of him as Shadow Android was of Shadow the Hedgehog. He could actually pass as Sonic, except for a few details.
The first, was a blinking red antenna coming out of his head. He had no irises; and his eyes were a glowing cyan color. He also had a circular cyan light on each hand and his chest. There was a white cuff around his neck and he had grey metal rings on his wrists and ankles.
The Sonic look-alike gasped and looked at Gemerl in shock and disbelief. "You lied!" he blurted out. "You said you wouldn't tell anybody on me!"
Shadow Android rubbed his forehead. "Robo-Sonic, why did you fill the base with chickens?"
Robo-Sonic considered his options as a chicken ran past them, clucking. Finally deciding on his best answer, he gave Shadow Android an innocent smile. "What chickens?" he asked sweetly.
"GAAAAH!" Shadow Android screamed, pulling at his mechanical quills as he turned and ran down the hall.
His three charges looked at each other nervously.
"I think he took it rather well," Orbot said cheerfully.
"Much better than the jello monster we set loose on the base last week," Robo-Sonic agreed.
"Do you think he's proud?" Gemerl asked hopefully.
I sighed. "And so the curse lives to its third generation," I said sadly.
"Eggman adds more robots each time," Silver Sonic mused. "I had one, you had two, and Shadow Android has three. I'd hate to be in Orbot's shoes in fifteen years."
"Orbot?"
"Hmm, he's going to be the one who becomes Eggman's right hand robot when the time comes."
"Well, not that this isn't interesting, but I think I've seen enough," I informed Silver Sonic. "Life will move on, like it always does. I always knew that one day I would die and that Metal Knuckles wouldn't be able to survive without me. Sure, it turned out to be more literal than what I was thinking, but still…" I paused for a moment, trying to delete the memory of Metal Knuckles lying hunched over a pile of grass, deactivated and abandoned. "Shadow Android will continue our work and train the next generation. That's the way of things. Nobody truly cares about robots."
"You could be right," Silver Sonic admitted. "But Metal, do you honestly not care if Metal Knuckles deactivated the way you just saw? Does nothing make you want to ensure he remains a happy, contentment, provided-for, carefree moron for the remained of his time?"
I didn't have an answer to that. I did, actually. I really, really wanted his deactivation be from something besides literally draining his batteries dry trying to destroy grass. That was just pathetic, even for him.
Silver Sonic was quiet for a moment, before adding, "And Metal, do you really want to risk Shadow Android hating you as much as you hate me?"
I gasped, a cold, hard feeling clenching my chest. "That's not possible," I said angrily. "There's no way he'd ever hate me that much."
"If you keep treating him the way I treated you, would it really be so far of a stretch?" Silver Sonic asked as everything, even Christmas Past and himself, started to fade. "Think about it, Metal Sonic. And for what it's worth…I'm sorry."
"No, you're not," I shot back automatically. "You're not Silver Sonic, just wishful thinking on my part. He'd never apologize."
"The question is, would you?" Silver Sonic asked before he vanished.
Light suddenly exploded into my optics and I gasped, sitting up. "It's morning," I said, eagerly, looking at my body, which was fully repaired.
"Well, that should take care of it," Eggman said, brushing off his hands and shutting the plate in my hull that let him access my memory core. "No more diagnostic errors and disturbing hallucinations for you."
"What day is today?" I asked.
"The twenty-sixth of December," Eggman replied merrily.
My mood deflated a little. "Oh, so I missed Christmas?"
"Well, duh. You didn't think I was actually going to give up my Christmas for you, did you?" Eggman asked me bluntly. Well, that was a proverbial hard slap in the face, as well as a cold reminder of how little robots mattered even to our own creator.
But never mind that. I had damage control to do.
I found Metal Knuckles first, partially because I had recognized the room he had been using in the future and checked there first. I winced as I saw a pile of grass in the floor and heard him counting.
"One hundred and eighty seven…"
"Metal Knuckles?" I asked hesitantly. "What are you doing?"
"Destroying the world," he replied, sounding bored. "It's taking a lot longer than I thought. There's a lot of stuff in it."
In spite of myself, I had to comment on his technique. "You know, there's no law that says you can't destroy more than one thing at a time."
He paused and considered this. "I want to be thorough," he finally admitted.
I sighed. "Metal Knuckles, you don't need to destroy the world."
"I do too! That way I'll have completed an objective and you'll be proud of me," Metal Knuckles insisted.
"You don't need to complete an objective, Metal Knuckles," I said, steeling myself and forcing the words out. "Because…because I am proud of you."
He froze, staring at his grass pile for a long moment before turning to me. "You are?" he asked in shock. "But I'm not good at anything!"
"You are good at something," I said, my mind whirling as I tried to think of what that could be.
"Like what?" he asked suspiciously.
I thought for a long second before I realized exactly where his talents lay. "Metal Knuckles, you are a perfect idiot. And I'm proud of you."
He blinked at me, then grinned and looked down, feigning bashfulness. "Aw, Metal Sonic…" he said humbly, "nobody's perfect."
"Well, you come pretty close," I informed him.
He looked back at his grass for a moment, then looked up at me hopefully. "Can I stop destroying the world now? Because I'd rather go watch television."
"Yeah, you can stop destroying the world now," I assured him.
"Yippee!" Metal Knuckles cheered before taking off towards the recreation room.
One down, but he was the easy one. I braced myself for my next confrontation and made my way to the storage facilities where I found Shadow Android.
"Hey," I called to him gently.
He looked up at me. "Hey," he called back, sounding depressed.
"Can I come in?"
"I don't care."
Well, so far this seemed to be going well. I quietly walked into the storage area and sat next to Shadow Android. "So…I said some things the other day that I regret," I started.
"You were right, you know," Shadow Android told me sadly.
"For the first time, I have to disagree with that very welcome remark," I informed him.
He cocked his head to the side, waiting for an explanation.
"Although the cold hard truth is, nobody thinks robots matter like people and you have to get used to that, it doesn't mean you don't matter. You matter to me, a lot. You and Metal Knuckles…mean a lot to me," I explained. "I don't know what I would do if something happened to either of you. And I don't know if the things we feel are the same as what organics feel, but we do have some form of emotions and those matter to us. I'm sorry I told you differently."
Shadow Android gasped dramatically, clutching his chest. "Be still my beating diodes! Metal Sonic just apologized!"
"Cut it out," I growled, punching him lightly on the shoulder.
"I'm not mad at you anymore, Metal Sonic," Shadow Android said after he stopped joking. "And you were right, after all. But…I'm glad to know I do matter to someone."
I nodded to him, and we fell silent for a moment. I considered my next words carefully, then blurted out, "Shadow Android, promise me you'll take care of Metal Knuckles."
He started visibly. "What?"
"If something should happen to me, please take care of Metal Knuckles," I clarified. "I don't care that nobody will care that I'm gone, but I want someone to care enough for him to watch him after I can't."
He was silent for a moment. "I promise," he finally vowed. "I'll make sure Metal Knuckles is taken care of if something happens to you in the future."
"Thank you," I said, getting up to leave.
"Metal Sonic?" Shadow Android's voice made me pause. "That's not true that nobody cares about what happens to you. I care…I'd miss you terribly if you were gone."
If I had a mouth, I'd have grinned at him. "That means a lot. Merry Twenty-Sixth of December, Shadow Android."
"Yeah…you too. Merry…whatever it was you just said."
I walked out of the room proudly, knowing that should my time come, Shadow Android would continue my work and take care of Metal Knuckles. He was growing up. And more importantly; he wouldn't hate me the way I hated my caretaker.
Maybe robots aren't considered important to most of the world, but we were important to each other. Maybe that was enough.
Hmm, I wonder what this new future holds for us?
"HO, HO, HO, HO!" I heard Eggman laugh from a nearby room. "At last, my newest invention, the Eggafier Ray! This will destroy that pesky hedgehog once and for all!" He paused, then muttered, "Although my most recent research file indicates that it actually just reverts people back to a childlike state, but I think that's just because Metal Knuckles mistook my data banks for a television and PUSHED ALL THE BUTTONS!"
"I said I was sorry!" Metal Knuckles wailed. "You ruin eleven months worth of research one time and they never let you forget it!"
"You did this ten seconds ago after telling me that destroying the world was boring!"
On the other hand, maybe I was better off not knowing…oh well. God bless us, every one.
THE END