I just wanted to disappear. How could he do this to me?
The sobs tore through me, my body shaking violently. And yet no tears fell. No tears could fall. Not anymore.
He said he loved me. That I was his world.
But now that I was dead like him, he couldn't stand me.
He played the role of a loving husband. Standing by my side. Hugging and kissing me, then he would leave me to go be with here during the night.
She was alive, the blood pumping through her veins. Her beating heart. While mine was still. The life gone for a man who didn't want me. Who couldn't stand still.
For two years it's been like this. One girl after another. Always changing, never staying.
He vowed to love me for all eternity. To be faithful and honest.
Now look where we are.
My only condolence. My only reason left today. My daughter. Our daughter. Renesmee.
I still loved him, would always love him. But if he couldn't remain true. I had no reason to stay.
I would leave now. During the night while he was with her.
I grabbed two bags, calm and composed. Resigned to the fact there was nothing else to do.
I packed my bag hastily, throwing in my keepsakes and personal belongings. Not much, just a few Shakespeare books, and some other things. I grabbed some clothes, stuffing them in, zipping it up, and then went to Renesmee's room.
She lay sleeping in her bd. Peaceful. She had no idea what was really going on. Thinking her world perfect. Not realizing it was all falling down around us.
I grabbed some of her clothes and her favorite things, jamming them in the bag and zipped this one up. I threw them over my shoulder and picked Renesmee up, being careful not to wake her.
I put her in the back seat of my red Ferrari, and got in. Putting the bags in the seat next to me. I sighed, starting the car. I looked at our cottage with sad, soulful eyes, and then drove away without looking back.
We didn't go far. Just to La Push to stay with Jacob. I wouldn't go to Charlie. It'd be too stressful. I couldn't go too far away because I didn't want to disappear, taking Renesmee from her family, friends, and Jacob. She would miss them too much. I would miss them too much. I had to cut the ties gradually. But I had to leave Edward and go somewhere he'd be reluctant to follow me, or couldn't find me. Since, I couldn't just disappear for several reasons.
Jacob's was the best place to go. Even if he did stink. My nose scrunched just at the thought of smelling him. But he was my best friend still. One day my son-in-law.
I pulled into the Black's driveway, and turned the car off, Renesmee still asleep in the back. I got out just as Jacob burst through the dark bushes in the twilight, his scent fouling the air.
"Bella!" Jacob picked up a sleepy Renesmee, cradling her in his arms. "Why are you guys here?" He asked quietly, now realizing that Renesmee was still trying to sleep. He looked surprised to see us. "I mean, it's not like I'm not happy to see you. Obviously, but-" He shrugged, looking sheepish.
I laughed. "It's okay, Jacob. I understand." I frowned, a wave of depression hitting me. No longer would Edward be a part of my life. He was my world, and now that he was gone…I didn't know what to do.
Renesmee would be grown in three and a half years, and she would go to Jacob. And then I wouldn't have her either. I would have nothing. I could always go to the Volturi, have them kill me.
Shaking my head, I forced myself to forget my bad thought, smiling at a worried Jacob.
"Can we stay with you and Billy for a while?"
I watched the emotions cross his face in rapid succession with amusement: shock, surprise, uncertainty, joy, confusion, joy. I knew what his answer was.
"Yeah," He was grinning. Renesmee had fallen back to sleep in his arms. "Come on." I grabbed the bags from the car and followed him inside.
The sun was just peeking over the horizon when my phone began to ring, the melody of my lullaby echoing through the silent house. I hit ignore, shutting the phone off when I saw the name on the screen.
Edward.
And threw it across the room, smashing into pieces when it hit the wall.
I cringed, listening for any signs of movement from the others.
Nothing. I sighed in relief.
Billy, Nessie, and Jacob were all asleep. Their breathing, and Jacob's soring, the only sound in the house.
It was comforting hearing their heart's beating, life in its simplest form. Something I gave up for him.
However, if I hadn't of given it up, I wouldn't be here for Renesmee. I wouldn't have my daughter. And she was all I had left now.
I couldn't keep the rest of my family either. Not when I'd given him up. I wouldn't make them chose between us and he had been there longer.
It was only right.
I sighed, hearing the stirs of life as the other habitants of La Push began to start their morning. If not for Renesmee…
I heard Billy waking up across the house, and glanced at the clock. 7:30. Renesmee would be waking soon.
I stood straight and walked away from the window. Renesmee needed me, and for her, I would continue to live, until she no longer did. Without Edward. Without Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Esme, Carlisle. Without the rest of my family.
And then I would join the Volturi.