actuality

chapter one: first days

When Ochako woke, the incandescence of her surroundings drew a soft smile to her face. The windows had been left open through the night to chase away the heat, causing the white curtains to blow serenely from the breeze coming from outside. Her ears perked at the familiar sound of the morning news—the anchormen were discussing the rankings of the current pro heroes and the rising new stars—and beyond that she could also pick out the soft crashing of waves just outside the window.

She sat up, stretching, and feeling the heavy drag of sleep almost immediately let go of its hold on her. The light pooled from seemingly every direction, making everything look soft and inviting—like a painting that somehow made average things look much more beautiful than they actually are.

She stood up, scratching her stomach—which was flat and toned and proof of all of her hard work—and padded into the room where the television was playing. She heard footsteps and the clanking of plates coming from the kitchen, and figured Izuku was making breakfast.

She blinked, the glamour around her confusing her for just a second before she shrugged it off and honed in on the television.

She smiled, as the rankings of heroes were listed out—she'd finally made it into the top twenty! Along with many of her friends and former classmates! Her aspirations in life were really becoming obtainable! She couldn't believe it. The only thing that could make this moment better was if Izuku would get over here and—

Strong arms wrapped around her waist from behind, and she found herself leaning back into a solid wall of muscle. Pine and cinnamon wafted into the air, calming her even more than the serenity she'd already felt.

"Breakfast is ready," A familiar voice murmured quietly into her ear.

Ochako hummed, glancing out through the window and staring out into the vast expanse of sand and sea.

"Izuku," She whispered, turning around in his arms so that she could look into his eyes. Green met brown, and the confusion she'd felt briefly before smacked into her tenfold now. She glanced away from him and back again, and each time she did she would blink as her mind tried to piece together what was happening. Izuku. The sand outside. Izuku. The patterned curtains. Izuku. The distant waves. Izuku. The perfect little bubble around her that she couldn't—shouldn't—pop.

Where was she?

She glanced at a vase of seashells on the coffee table—weren't seashells rough and jagged? But everything was so soft, including the seashells. Even Izuku, who was definitely made entirely out of muscle, was soft and enticing underneath her fingertips.

"Ochako," Deku asked ever so worried, tucking a strand of hair out of her eyes, but that couldn't be right either, "Are you okay?"

Ochako shook her head, trying to combat what she was feeling now with all of the memories in her head. It didn't even make sense that none of this made sense, and it was pissing her off. She and Deku had been together for years. But the glamour around her was too perfect, the world was too bright, and that wasn't normal.

"Uraraka?" Deku asked again, sounding gruffer and much more frantic. He was patting her face, trying to bring her back. Tears were leaking from her eyes, but she was supposed to be happy. When she blinked, green eyes morphed into red.

"Uraraka!" The voice snapped from Izuku's lips, and reality crashed on her like a sheet of rain.

»»-¤-««

She gasped, eyes opening for real. Her brain felt fuzzy, and she was honest to god confused as to why she was looking up at a face that wasn't Deku. A face that looked too young to correspond to the memories that were in her head. But there he was—Bakugou Katsuki, with slightly softer cheeks and the same haircut he sported during their third year of high school. He was kneeling over her and slapping her face, red eyes screaming at her to get her shit together.

She blinked, getting up on her elbows to look around. Bakugou, alarmed at her sudden impending proximity, backed away to give her space.

They were in the common room of their dorms, and they weren't alone. Except that their other classmates that were also there were passed out on the ground—like she had just evidently been. Kaminari, Kirishima, Iida, Tsuyu, Todoroki, Deku were all sleeping soundly with smiles of pure contentment on their faces. The emergency lights lit up their faces in ethereal blue, creating jagged edges of shadow that contrasted so much to whatever world she'd just been in.

"Oh," Ochako said in equal parts disappointment and realization, "It wasn't real."

"No," Bakugou grunted, grabbing hold of her wrist and tugging on it, "Now get up. We gotta run."

Ochako's eyes widened, the fog in her brain clearing somewhat as the dilemma she'd just woken up to crashed back into the forefront of her mind. It felt like wading through years of memories, like she still couldn't get the specific details right, couldn't remember who did this to them, or why, but she definitely knew that, yes, they needed to leave.

"What about—" She started, looking towards their friends and classmates with tears in her eyes. But Bakugou cut her off.

"Uraraka," He said, resolutely with just a hint of fear in his eyes, "We can't save 'em if we're put under that fucking spell again." He yanked on her arm again until she was rising to her feet. She felt weighed down with sleep—not to mention the ice-cold rush of sadness and unease that his words shot through her veins—but forced herself to stay standing, forced herself to follow him outside into the black of night.

They ran.

Bakugou's pace was brutal, but not so much that she couldn't keep up. She wondered why he didn't just use his quirk, but then remembered that his explosions were the exact opposite of covert. They detoured through ground beta, weaving through the buildings so that they wouldn't be seen. By the time they hit the massive gate separating U.A. from the rest of the world, Ochako already felt nauseous but nonetheless activated her quirk on the both of them so that they could vault over with ease.

And they kept running.

It felt like they'd been running forever—her lungs felt like they were going to implode—when Bakugou finally stopped. They were at a park that she recognized, one that she'd spent time with her friends at when they had some free time to be normal teenagers and not heroes in training. It was miles away from U.A., but certainly not far enough. She cocked her head at Bakugou in confusion.

"Why are we stopping?"

He stooped down, hands on his knees as his breath came in heavy pants. The beads of sweat dripping down the side of his face caught the light from the full moon, and the sight somehow comforted Ochako. The more he sweat, the more powerful he was—and he was already one of the most powerful people Ochako knew.

She wasn't any better. In fact, she was worse. Her lungs ached and every single one of her heavy inhalations was accompanied by an unsettling wheezing sound. The muscles in her legs were screaming at her to sit down and stay there. Her head was pounding, and she was probably dehydrated. Tenya always reprimanded her for not drinking enough water, and now it was really biting her in the ass.

Bakugou's red eyes slanted over to her at her question, and she watched him clench his fists. Whatever he was feeling, she couldn't read. And that was unsettling because he was usually an open book, at least when it came to his intense feelings.

"You need to recuperate, right?" He said, like it was obvious, "And we need to talk about where the fuck we even plan to go." He pulled her away from the park, towards the trees where they could hide more easily in the shadows. She sat down against a tree trunk, her legs grateful for the momentary reprieve. He sat down beside her, close enough that their legs made a long line of warm contact between them. Ochako jumped, not expecting the contact. She was too tired to move away from him, however, so she allowed this small physical connection. But the longer they sat like that, the more she realized that she didn't mind.

"Let's talk about that fucking quirk," Bakugou began quietly, "The one that took down our entire school in less than ten minutes."

Ochako screwed her eyes shut and racked her brain for the recollections that led up to this moment. But it was so hard. There were memories shoved in her head by someone else that were all fabricated. She couldn't of spent more than twenty minutes under that spell, but everything that had been implanted in her brain to make her dream make sense felt just as real. She felt like she'd spent years in that imaginary world. Separating that from reality was making her confused all over again.

She hugged her stomach, noting that the rock hard abs she'd had in her dream had been an illusion as well.

Bakugou chuckled self-deprecatingly, "So your brain is just as messed up as mine, huh? Feels like I've lived a whole other life and everything before going under is a fucking blur. It's fuckin' bullshit." Bakugou glared up at the moon like it personally offended him, "But I know one thing for sure: I can't go back."

Ochako gaped at him with wide eyes—Bakugou, notorious for being unable to verbalize his feelings well, had put words to the emotions that she hadn't even realized she was feeling. The life she had lived inside her head was perfect and—incredibly hollow. The anxiety of ever having to return to that was tangible—following behind her as soon as she'd woken up from it—like a demon ready to pounce at any given moment. It hadn't even been that long since they'd left campus, but to believe even for a second that they were somehow now safe was incredibly foolish. And that reality hit her hard.

She stood up, having found her second wind.

"I know where we can go," She said, patting herself down and then sighing when she realized that she didn't have her phone. She gazed down at him sheepishly, "You don't happen to have your phone on you?"

Bakugou slipped his out of his pocket.

"Who are you trying to call?"

"Oh, gee. I don't know. You know any friends that live in the area, have a hero license, and would most definitely still be up this late?"

Bakugou blinked up at her, "Oh fuck no."

»»-¤-««

"Dudes," Camie said, as she opened the door to her apartment, "Long time no see. Shame we gotta meet up like this."

"Hey Camie," Bakugou grumped, shouldering past Ochako at the entryway and strolling into Camie's apartment like he owned the place. He wrinkled his nose, "If you insist on having a cat, then at least clean out its fucking litter box. It smells like shit in here."

"Sorry, bro," Camie said lightly, and mysteriously like she wasn't sorry at all. She picked up the offending cat and scratched it behind its ears affectionately, "I've been busy af."

"Thanks for letting us crash here," Ochako said to her quietly, coming up to her so that she could pet her palm down the cat's back.

Camie beamed at her, closing the door behind Ochako and locking it, "No problem, fam! You're always welcome here. 'Specially little Bakubro! He's, like, one of my bromates."

"Stop calling me that, 'lusion."

Of all the relationships that Bakugou felt the need to maintain, none of them baffled Ochako more than his relationship with Camie. The fact that she had enough of an impact on him, that he took the time out of his day to keep their snapchat streak going or that he had such an affection nickname for her like 'lusion—a shortened version of 'Illusion' or 'Miss Illusion'—said a lot about the Shiketsu graduate.

"No can do, Bakudude!" Camie responded casually, walking over to the closet near the bedroom and digging for blankets, "Sorry I don't have a guest bedroom—I'm poor and taking donations. Jokes. Ha ha." Ochako actually couldn't believe that this woman said 'ha ha' instead of laughing. "Funny quips aside, one of you will have to take the floor."

"I'll take it," Bakugou grunted, just as Ochako was opening her own mouth to call dibs on the floor.

"Nice," Camie remarked, turning around from her search to wink, "You're totes becoming a gentleman, Bakuswol. I'm beyond proud."

"Remind me why we came here," Bakugou whispered to Ochako through gritted teeth. Ochako smiled sheepishly at him, and reached up out of reflex—it's been ingrained in her as a hero to comfort people in distress—to rest a warm hand on his shoulder. She made extra care to keep her pinky finger lifted. To her shock, he melted under her touch like a grouchy dog. It occurred to her horrifically that she was casually touching Bakugou and not getting blown up for it. She removed her hand like she'd been burned.

Camie chucked some blankets and pillows at them, snapping them out of whatever trance they'd been in—one where Bakugou was clearly angry at himself for letting her touch him, and one where Ochako was astounded at herself for doing the touching in the first place—and then Camie wandered into the bathroom and started digging through her drawers.

"Lucky day, my dudes," She declared, pulling out two brand new toothbrushes, "I got the hook-ups!"

»»-¤-««

"Uraraka," Bakugou whispered hours later into the dark. Camie had blackout curtains, so the only light they had came from the LED of the microwave and stove. Uraraka had been staring up at the ceiling trying to go to sleep for a while now, but some part of her was afraid that if she fell asleep she'd be sucked back into some fictitious world again.

"Hmm?" She responded, turning on her side so that she could face where Bakugou was sleeping on the ground just below her. The stench of cat shit from earlier had watered down a bit, after Bakugou bullied Camie into cleaning it out.

"Fuck," He whispered back, like he wasn't actually expecting her to be awake, "Nothing. Go to fucking sleep."

Ochako's eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.

"Bakugou…" She said quietly, "You can talk to me, you know?"

"Fucking whatever," Bakugou growled, and Ochako could hear the rustling of blankets as the explosive blonde tried to get comfortable on the floor, "Like I even know what to say."

"What," Ochako started, curiosity getting the better of her, "What was your life like?"

As in, the life he had lived only in the memories forced inside his head.

Bakugou snorted, "It doesn't fucking matter. It was fake," He growled, "So don't go around saying shitty things like that, acting like it was real."

Ochako sniffed, annoyed, "You said you didn't know what to say; I was just trying to give you something to go off of."

"It's none of your fucking business," He insisted, turning over again.

"Oh yeah?" She said hotly, "Neither one of us can sleep, you asshole. My brain can't even determine what's real or not right now because of what was crammed into my brain without my consent. God," She continued, feeling the hot sting of tears at the corner of her eyes, "I can't even remember who did this or how they did it. What if I fall back asleep and it happens all over again? What if I don't wake up this time? What if I get trapped in something that seems so fucking authentic but is all a goddamn sham?" She sucked in a deep breath, trying to lower her voice so as not to wake Camie in the room over, "I'm not asking you to unpack all your complex emotions, Bakugou. But we kinda need to know what sort of baggage the other is carrying if we're going to be on the run together."

Bakugou was silent for a long time after that. Uraraka waited for a solid minute before she sighed in frustration, rolling over so that her back was to him.

"I suck at this shit," He whispered eventually. Uraraka jumped, genuinely surprised that he had said something at all (not to mention that he was admitting that he sucked at something), and peeked over her shoulder to try and make out his silhouette in the blackness. He sighed heavily, sitting up and reaching for his phone (Camie had generously given him one of her chargers). A moment later the flashlight was activated and enough light spilled into the room to illuminate their faces. He crawled over to the couch so that he could look her in the eyes. Subconsciously, she flipped over again so as not to strain her neck.

"Look," He said gruffly, but calmly, "I'm sorry that I'm so fucking closed off. This shit ain't easy for me." Ochako's eyes widened, never guessing that she'd ever be on the receiving end of an apology from Bakugou Katsuki. "But you're right," He went on, sighing again, "I can't promise to be an open fucking book, alright? But let's make a deal. You can ask me one question everyday that I'll promise to answer honestly. But you have to answer it too." His eyes flashed with split-second insecurity, so uncharacteristic of him, "I'm not doing this for nothin', after all."

"That's fair," She breathed.

They stared at each other for a moment, until Bakugou growled.

"Well?" He demanded crossly.

Ochako hummed, already knowing exactly what she wanted to ask, "What got you to wake up from it?"

Bakugou's eyes screwed shut—like he definitely knew the answer, but was repulsed by the idea of sharing it with her.

Maybe this actually wasn't a good idea! No matter how much Ochako wanted him to be open to her, mostly for his sake, she also didn't want to force him to do something that he really didn't want to do.

"I-I could ask something else—!"

"No," Bakugou insisted, still sitting close to the couch, "I made a fucking promise, and I can fucking do this."

Silence encompassed them while he gathered his words, and Ochako took this opportunity to study him. Camie had offered him some pajama pants that she had in her dresser from some three in the morning booty call—and had insisted that they were washed and clean—but he had opted to just sleep in his shirt and boxers from that day. His hair was even more disheveled from rolling around and trying to convince sleep to take him. He looked tired. His eyes looked older.

She guessed that she probably looked the same.

"It," Bakugou finally said, looking away from her like avoiding eye contact would make it easier for the words to come, "It was perfect. Everything about it. And I knew it was too fucking good to be true. I woke up when my brain made the realization that I don't actually deserve everything that I want." He unclenched his hands as if in defeat, and finally met her gaze once again, "Your turn."

She sucked in a breath, suddenly rueful of the question she had asked.

"Same as you," She said, "I realized that it couldn't be real. In my dream…I ended up with Deku…I was living with him. But as soon as I saw his face, despite all the memories placed in my brain that built up to that moment, I knew that it just didn't make sense that he would focus on me at the same level he focuses on his goal of becoming a hero. That made the glamour crack, and I woke up to your face instead of his."

Bakugou stared at her, expression unreadable.

"Sorry to disappoint you," He grumbled, grabbing his pillow and laying back down.

Ochako bit her lip—she didn't mean it in a bad way, but it probably came off like it. Because the truth was, he kind of saved her. She's not sure if she would have woken up at all if he hadn't stopped to bring her back. She was a little astounded he had even bothered to bring her back—she wondered if she should ask him about that one of these days, but also wondered if that was getting a little too personal.

She watched him, unsure of what to say or if words would even help this situation. But before she could make up her mind about anything, he shut off the light on his phone, pulled the blanket back over himself and turned so that his back was to her.

She shut her eyes and eventually fell asleep to the words Bakugou saved me echoing through her mind.

»»-¤-««

When Ochako cracked open her eyes in the morning, it was because her body was stiff and uncomfortable from sleeping on Camie's crappy couch. She groaned, snuggling into her arm that was dangling off the side of the couch in an attempt at going back to sleep. It was then that she noticed that her fingertips were brushing against something soft, and her eyes shot immediately open.

Sometime while they'd been sleeping, Bakugou had rolled over until he was practically pressed against the side of the couch. It was his hair, she realized. Her fingertips were brushing against his hair. They'd been in his hair. She fondled his hair in her sleep!

She retracted her hand immediately, face turning fuchsia.

As if sensing that it was time for her to reign down some chaos, Camie's bedroom door burst open and startled both her from her panic and Bakugou from his sleep. He jolted up, hands cupped with his fingers spread in his trademark battle stance. His shirt had ridden up to his armpits during the night. And while the blanket had been covering that up before Camie's grand entrance, there was now nothing blocking Ochako's view of Bakugou's torso.

"Damned woman!" Bakugou roared, chucking his pillow at the other blonde who was decked out in her hero costume. Uraraka thanked gravity for finally pulling Bakugou's shirt back down. Camie's cat, Floofball, jumped up onto the couch next to Ochako elegantly.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Bakugou screeched at Camie.

Camie ignored him.

"So we've got good news and bad news," She informed them, her hand pressing a communicator that was nestled nicely in her ear, "Good news is that you were smart coming here. Bad news is that, like, all of the top one-hundred heroes are under some sort of spell."

Bakugou settled down, and he and Ochako shared a look.

"What kind of spell?" Ochako asked, turning away from red eyes.

Camie shrugged, "They're stuck in some kind of sleep. But, like, one that they can't wake up from. Sounds like what you two were going off about last night tbh. Totally bizarre." She tapped on her communicator, listening to the words of some comrade trying to relay information. "The hero classes of all years both at U.A. and Shiketsu have vanished," She frowned at that, "And the heroes trapped under the spell are being taken to the hospital for life support. I'm being called in, fam. Stay here until further notice." She grabbed her keys off the hook by the door and left without another word.

Bakugou immediately scrambled to his feet, and gyuh—the ends of his boxers also had hiked up slightly!

"Where are you going?" Uraraka inquired, ripping her eyes from his sculpted upper legs and watching as he walked over to Camie's room, "Oh my god, don't go in there!"

"I'm not fucking snooping, round face," Bakugou snarked, belligerently walking forward, "So calm your fucking tits."

"No!" Ochako insisted, shaking her head, "You don't know what you'll find in there!"

That made him stop and glare over his shoulder at her.

"You're absolutely fucking right," He glanced back at her, "You're a girl. You go in there."

Ochako huffed, "It's not a matter of being a girl, and you know it! You were about to go in there regardless! This is solely because it's Camie, and I'd argue that you're way better friends with her than I am making you better suited to maneuver that battleground! Besides," Ochako smirked, well aware that she was going to win this argument, "I don't even know what you want in there. Whatever it is—you want it, you go get it."

Bakugou grumbled, but—wisely—didn't retort.

"Be careful in there!" She chirped sweetly.

Bakugou flipped her off, then carefully stepped foot into Camie's bedroom.

Ochako smiled when she heard him murmur out an annoyed, "I'm not fucking friends with that disgusting hag." And then a more pronounced and aggressive, "If I die in here from black mold, my ghost is gonna fucking kill you, Uraraka!"

"Sure it is," She agreed passively.

"Why did you even warn me about Camie's fucking room if you were just going to make me sift through it anyways?" He kept barking. Ochako heard things being thrown around, but not any loud crashes so she figured he was fine for now.

"What's the matter?" She asked cheerily, getting up and heading towards the kitchen to see what food she could conjure up, "I thought you'd appreciate the warning." Unlike Bakugou, she had accepted some sleepwear from Camie. But since the other girl was taller than her, the pant legs extended well past her feet and made walking much more difficult than it needed to be.

"You're a fucking asshole," Bakugou bit out from the bedroom, "Why everyone still thinks you're this fragile piece of glass is beyond me…"

Ochako laughed. One thing she's always appreciated about Bakugou was his determination to take her seriously.

When she returned to the couch with some toast for him and herself, he emerged from the bedroom with Camie's laptop in tow. He plopped it down on the couch, then rushed over to the kitchen to wash his hands.

"Was it really that hard to find that?" Ochako wondered aloud, "I feel like Camie would have her laptop in an easily accessible place. How else does she keep up with all the memes?"

"Oh, it was," Bakugou said, not bothering to dry his hands and returning to the couch to plop down onto the couch right next to her like the concept of personal space only mattered when it was on his terms. He snatched a piece of toast off the plate in her hands and started nibbling on it. "But her room was fucking disgusting so I threw all her nasty garbage in a pile so she can clean it up later." He cracked open the laptop and was met with Camie's lockscreen. Undeterred, he typed something out and hit enter. Ochako blinked, because it actually worked.

"How do you know her password?" She inquired, unconsciously hooking her chin over his shoulder so that she could see what he was doing. It was something that she'd done with Iida a million times—both in reality, and within the memories that had been shoved in her head (and that was all sorts of worrying)—and she really didn't think much about it. But when Bakugou tensed up at the contact, Ochako realized that maybe she was overstepping boundaries even though the bastard obviously didn't care about hers. But a moment later he relaxed and kept searching through articles online.

"Because she told me," Bakugou grunted, the light from the computer screen reflecting in his red eyes, "She thought it was hilarious even though it's stupid as fuck."

"What is it?"

"I am not repeating it."

"Aw, why not?"

"Because only idiots say idiotic things like that!"

"Then type it out somewhere," Ochako insisted, shaking his arm like a petulant kid.

"Fucking," He rounded on her, eyes blazing with irritation, "Why?"

"Pfffft!" Ochako laughed through her lips, unable to handle that expression on his face—especially since she knew how unthreatening he really was when it came to people he could call friends if he ever admitted to having any, "Because!" She said, chortling, "If Camie finds it funny, then I probably will too!"

Bakugou stared at her like she was insane, then grumpily turned back to the computer, opened up a blank document, and started typing.

"Both of you are fucking idiots," He mumbled.

Ochako stared at the screen in disbelief. Because the word that Bakugou had just typed out with his very own fingers was bakutiddies. She gaped at it for another moment, and then laughter erupted out of her like a typhoon.

Bakugou hit the backspace key harder than necessary and for each individual letter rather than all at once as if to display how very annoyed he was by this entire ordeal. But his mouth was quirked up into a smile, even as he was rolling his eyes.

"You fucking ready to get serious, round face?" He asked, talking louder so that he could be heard over her laughter, "You and I are gonna be the ones to piece this shit together—we owe the other fuckers in our class that much."

She sobered up at that.

"Ahh, sorry," She said, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly. The memories in her head were playing serious tricks on her—it was almost too easy to forget what sort of shit situation they were in with all these floaty, happy memories and thoughts streaming through her head. Now probably wasn't the time to be laughing at something ludicrous like bakutiddies.

"Don't be sorry, idiot," He said quietly, "It's important to laugh through stressful times."

Ochako wasn't really sure why she was so surprised by those words—Bakugou was probably All Might's biggest fan, second only to Midoriya—of course the blonde would find importance in smiling and laughing through any situation. Although he was certainly quieter about his idolization than Izuku was so she supposed it was easier to forget how much Bakugou really looked up to their teacher. But through all the shit they've gone through even before this most recent turn of events, he's made it abundantly clear who he looks up to.

But here she found herself, staring up at Bakugou with wonder in her eyes.

She smiled, big as she could.

"You're right, Bakugou," She agreed warmly, because if whatever was before them would be anything like these first days then she was glad that it was Bakugou who had woken her up, "Thank you."

»»-¤-««

A/N: Yell at me on tumblr: wonduhhwoman