Title: Beautifully Undone
Author: f34r me
Genre: Romance/Angst
Rating: PG
Reason for rating: Because I simply cannot bear to write something G-rated
Characters: Hermione Granger, with references to Harry Potter
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is J.K. Rowling's world. I just play in it. Also, the song is VERY beautiful, and if you don't have it by now you are not my friend. Ha... just kidding. It's written and performed by Lindy.
Summary: Hermione reflects on her love of Harry in a diary. Songfic to "Beautifully Undone" by Lindy.
Beautifully Undone
2/14/06
Have you ever been in love with your best friend? Oh, I know, some of you are going to say you DATED him. Yeah. Lucky you! I'm not quite there yet. I'm talking about being in love with your best friend, who absolutely does not feel the same way. Sure, he thinks the world of you, and "loves" you, just not that way. So you have to suck it up and move on.
I don't remember what it used to be like
The things that I'm not proud of
And the only reason I kept coming back to you
Was because I thought I was in love
But I don't think about you anymore
And I wonder what the hell I came here for
When I'd rather just fall right off your floor
And come beautifully undone
I remember it well… It was about... well, a year ago, and I think it was one of the single most painful times of my life that I can recall. It's the only time I actually cried so hard over a guy that I think I howled. That was one hell of a pity party, that one. (Because I just had to go and tell him how I felt. I couldn't just keep it to myself and suffer. I guess I hoped, because he WAS my best friend, and we got along so great and talked about everything under the sun and saw each other almost every day, that maybe deep down he felt the same). Oops. I was quite proud of my courage though, really. It was one of those "you'll never know if you don't take the risk" moments and it took every ounce of nerve I had in me to do it.
I don't recall San Francisco at all
Falls right from my memory
And the only place that exists
Is where you thought you felt me
But I don't think about you anymore
And I wonder what the hell I came here for
When I rather just fall right off your floor
And come beautifully undone
I'm long over it now… in fact, once I got over my feelings for him (which took quite a long time, during which I refused to see him or talk to him because I didn't know any other way to get over him, and that really hurt him because I was his best friend and all of a sudden he couldn't talk to me, but too bad buddy, I'm in pain here and this is all about me now), and was able to just be friends again without wanting or hoping for anything else, I saw him for who he really was and realized I didn't even like him. (Yeah, Queen of Run On Sentences, I know).
Heh.
I think we all have painful memories, if not like that one, then something similar. And every once in awhile we are reminded. Although the pain and everything and everyone associated with it may be long gone, something may come along to remind us. And, more often than not, that which comes along to bring us back to that place of pain even for a moment, appears in an art form. A song, a scene in a movie or TV show, a book, a painting, a poem. The artists involved were most likely drawing on their own painful experiences when creating. And I think that is rather beautiful and in many cases makes the pain worthwhile.
...
But I don't think about you anymore
And I wonder what the hell I came here for
When I rather just fall out of your floor
And come beautifully undone
...Did I mention I was over Harry?
Well... I lied.