Nothing – Part 1
I think this song fit my life perfectly
Am I better off dead
Am I better off a quitter
They say I'm better off now
Than I ever was with her
"Soul man, you need forget her!" start Black Star while driving to the town. Today makes 6 months since she left, 6 months with loneliness. I didn't get out my bed since that day, I just stay there waiting for the death comes and let me free.
I didn't exist without her.
"He's right Soul. Six months is too much, you can't live like that" says Kilik looking at me in the back sit. "Sometimes the best thing you can do is accept that is over"
"Beside" continue Kid "you are better without her. I mean, she was the one how decide leave, right?"
Six months ago, I have cheat on Maka with Liz… I didn't even remember how that happened, both of us was really drunk and didn't knew what we are doing.
I try apology with her, I really did. I told to her forget that, that was a huge mistake and that I didn't love Liz in any way. But she didn't believe me, she just cry and say that I was a liar.
She leave me, after says that, she thought than I was the only person she could trust.
I don't need say that that kill me inside, and each day was like that. I just was consuming myself until my death.
As they take me to my local down the street
I'm smiling but I'm dying trying not to drag my feet
"I know a awesome place when we can drink a little." Says Black Star with his huge smile "Is the best place on town Soul, this will definitely cheer you up"
We got out the car and start walk to the bar. The place wasn't bad, was really exciting and with good music. Even so, I wasn't comfortable with this. Nothing was let me smile.
I try make a fake smile, this way my friends wouldn't worry about me so much.
They say a few drinks will help me to forget her
But after one too many I know that I'm never
As we sit down, they start bring all the types of drinks they had, "A few drinks will help you to forget her Soul" was the only words I could hear.
I didn't mind, I just drink all they give to me. I guess I was trying fill the hole inside me, or maybe I just want forget her forever. Either way didn't help.
Only they can see where this is gonna end
But they all think I'm crazy but to me it's perfect sense
"I lost her… There is nothing I can do now"
"That is okay dude." Start Kid
"NO! THAT IS NOT OKAY! I lost. My. Love. Life. How can I still living without her?"
"That happens Soul" say Kilik
I just ignore him "Was my fault"
"You try all you have Soul…" say Kid again "if she couldn't forgive you, you can't do anything about it"
They were wrong, they were all wrong. I couldn't give up yet. Not yet.
" I can't leave her" I say getting out the bar
"hey…Soul" I didn't recognized my friends voices anymore
"What are you doing?"
"We are leaving, here is the money"
"HEY SOUL!"
"Maka..."
all And my mates are there trying to calm me down
'Cause I'm shouting your name all over town
I'm swearing if i go there now
I can change your mind, turn it all around
"Maka…MAKA!" I start scream with all my strength. Even I know she didn't live on Death City anymore, I still had hopes that she could hear me.
I was walking around the street, totally drunk and screaming like an idiot. Pathetic, isn't it? Somehow fit on me.
"Soul, dude, calm down!" who is talking now? I guess is Black Star
"Lets come back to the car Soul."
"I don't want come back to the damn car… MAKA!"
"Stop screaming Soul… People are staring" This one was Kid for sure
"I don't care…. They can look at me how much they want, I will not stop. MAKA!"
"We know that you are upset Soul… but shout Maka's name around the town wouldn't help you get her back…"
They were right… what was I thinking? As if Maka can hear me here, and if she could, this wouldn't make she listen to me.
"I have to talk to her…"
And I now that I'm drunk but i'll say the words
And she'll listen this time even though it's lust
Dial her number and confess to her
"WHAT? Soul have you lost your mind?"
Ignoring what my friends have to say, I start looking to a public phone. We I finally find one, the only thing I need was a small coin, anything to make a phone call.
After looking in every pocket, the only thing I could find was twenty five cents. Have to work
"let's see, .3-"
"Soul, this is madness!"
"You already try that, stop torturing yourself"
What the hell are they still talking? What did they know? Better off her, stop trying, madness…
They didn't know how was love someone and then lose it. They are all in good relationships, living happy with them girlfriends and wives.
I know they want to help me, but nothing would make me forget her. I love Maka, I always love her. I can't just forget this
The phone start to call, and impatiently I wait for a answer. When…
"Hello?"
That voice, that beautiful voice than I didn't hear for six mouths came out suddenly into my hears, making me be out speak for a few seconds. I could reply when she ask who was.
"…Ma-ka?"
"Who is there?"
"Maka…"
"So- What you want?" She sound mad, no furious, that is how she is sound
"Maka, please…"
"I though I say I never want talk with you ever again!"
"Please…just listen what I-"
"No Soul! I am tired from you excuses! Leave me alone."
"I-I can't"
"Really, why not?"
"Because… because I can't live without you. Please Maka, you don't know how much our break up is killing me. I swear I never wanted hurt you, you are the most important person in my life."
"Stop it Soul." She was trying being strong, but her voice show that she would cry soon.
"I don't even know how I end up in the bed with Liz… and the only reason I tell you was because I thought you would forgive me."
"How can SOMEONE forgive something like that?" she start to cry
"Please don't cry"
"You cheat on me."
"I am so sorry Maka"
"Sorry, sorry… this is what every guy say, but you don't even mean it!"
"I mean it! I am so sorry Maka, please forgive me"
"I-I don't think…"
"So at least try! Please, if you think you can't, at least try forgive me"
"I speed too many nights trying forgiving you. I am still trying…but…"
"Maka…"
"But…how can I forget something like that? How can you forget something like that?"
"It's because I don't care from Liz, that fucking night didn't mean a thing for me! I would forgive every mistake you made. I wouldn't care if I saw that you were …."
"You would forgive me if I sleep with some of your friends?"
The scene of Black Star, or Kid, or even Kilik, toughing her and make her doing pleasures noises makes me want puke. I guess than if I was in her place, I wouldn't just leave out her life, I probably would kill myself.
"Soul?"
"I don't think I would forget that"
"You see?"
"But I still would stay with you. Even if you sleep with any of my friends, even if you sleep with every guy on this town, I would stay with you, hug you and say how much I love you"
She stay in silence, don't make not even a sound only from her breath.
"There is… There is nobody in this world than ever make me few on this way. Even since I met you, I couldn't take you out of my head. When I ask you out, I thought I could die if you say even yes or no. See you every day, and sleep by your side every night, was little presents from God to me, all the moments I spend with you makes me the happiest man on earth."
"Soul…"
"I love you more than everything Maka. More than my family, more than my own life. I love you so much that I could die for you; I'd anything to you.
I love you Maka… I love you so much."
Nothing else came. Only the silence
I'm still in love, But all i heard was nothing
"Maka?"
Nothing
"Please Maka, talk to me."
Nothing
"Maka..."
Nothing
Tears start let off my eyes. Even if I love her with all my strength, even if I apologize, she can't even respond to me.
Her silence shows more than the true, she couldn't say that she love me back, since she didn't love me back.
"Please Maka, answer me! Even if you don't love me back, say something."
Oh I got nothing
The silence continues. Could only pass a few seconds, for me was like ages
"Please…" I spoke into tears "please stop torture me. Say something, anything."
I got nothing
Oh I wanted words but all I heard was nothing
"Soul…"
"Maka! What is it?" I say don't even trying hold my excitement.
"Could you… come here?"
"What?"
"I want to say something to you, but not on the phone"
"You… want me come to your house?"
"Only if you…"
"I can! I will! I will be there in 15 minutes"
"I see you there"
The phone got mute and a wave of hopes and joy full into my heart. I still have a change to make everything right again, I have the change to have her back to me.
As I came out the cabin, my friends who was waiting for, look at me surprised, since I have a big smile on my face, even bigger that Black Star ever made
"What happened Soul?" ask Kilik
"I have to go to Maka's house. Now!"