A Switch in Time

or

Warp One

"Warp one, Mr. Sulu."

"Aye sir."

Kirk leaned back in his chair and turned, smiling, to where Spock stood a few feet away. "Comments, Mr. Spock?"

"Only one, Captain. You are acting illogically."

"I should have said, 'new comments, Mr. Spock?'" Kirk laughed as he stood up, laying a friendly hand on the Vulcan's shoulder. "Well, we shall see." He was about to sit back down, when Uhura's clear voice stopped him.

"Captain, engineering reports there is an antimatter imbalance in one of the engines. Mr. Scott recommends that we neutralize warp speed until we can rebalance it."

"Can he fix it before we reach the event horizon in -" he glanced at Chekov for a reminder.

"Eleven minutes," the Russian man finished helpfully.

Speaking into her headset, Uhura inquired, "Mr. Scott, can you make the repairs in the next eleven minutes?"

"On speakers," Kirk commanded. She obediently laid her carefully manicured finger on a button and a Scottish voice came over the speakers.

"Aye, if all goes well. But I really think we…"

"We're building up speed here, Scotty," Kirk insisted, sitting back down and speaking into the intercom on the arm of his chair. "If we stop now, we won't pick up enough to successfully penetrate the horizon without being affected by the gravity. I need you to get that engine up and running again."

"I'll do my best, sir."

"Ten minutes, sir," Chekov announced, then reached over and clapped Sulu on the back cheerfully. "Vhen this is over, ve'll have a bit of time to finish that chess game."

"You mean, we'll have a chance for me to beat you - again," was Sulu's measured but good-natured answer.

Giving another pat and a laugh, Chekov pulled his hand back to the panel in front of him. "I don't know about that. I have been getting better."

"Better isn't good enough."

"Would you two keep your mind on your navigating?" Kirk asked. "You can worry about chess when all this is done."

The turbolift at the back of the bridge opened up and Doctor McCoy stepped out, his arms crossed over his chest. "Well Mr. Spock, allow me to congratulate you."

"To what do I owe these congratulations, Doctor?" Spock asked composedly, not looking up from his computer.

"You've successfully convinced me that James Kirk is completely illogical."

"Bones…" Kirk interjected, but Spock replied.

"I am glad to hear that you have finally seen the wisdom in my observations, Doctor McCoy." The two men shook hands, for the first time that Kirk could remember, but Bones wasn't looking at the Vulcan, he was glaring at Kirk with a lecture in his blue eyes.

"What have I done now?" Kirk held up his hands in confusion.

"I have been informed by Crewman Randall that you are about to try to explore a black hole!"

"We don't call them black holes anymore, Bones, they're dimensional portals. Wormholes, if you will. And I have my orders direct from Starfleet."

"But no manned spaceflight has ever made it through one with its crew alive," Spock's steady voice admonished.

"The gravity stops all vital human - and extra-terrestrial, for that matter (glancing at Spock) - biological functions. It's too risky, Jim! We should do more tests before you go sending four and a half hundred people in there."

"We are not going in there, Doctor." Kirk was getting tired of explaining. "In fact, we're contributing to the testing. We've been asked to drop a probe into the hole to be tracked when it comes out on the other side. We could learn to use these - these 'black holes' to our advantage. But we must have more information on them. We have been chosen to provide that."

"But how do you know we can get away before we die? It's never been tried!"

"Somebody has be the first to try it!" Kirk realized then that his voice was rising, and he lowered it again to a normal level. "Mr. Spock, Doctor McCoy, your opinions have been duly noted. I, however, have a duty to perform, and I intend to perform it."

"Three minutes," came Chekov's voice.

Kirk hurried back to his chair. "Full acceleration, Mr. Sulu." He pressed the intercom button again. "Scotty, got that engine rebalanced?"

"I'm afraid not, sir." Scotty sounded a bit panicky. "The antimatter inducer isn't cooperating. I think we may be forced to…"

"Two minutes."

"Scotty," Kirk tried to sound calm and collected, "we need all engine power to break away after we drop the probe. You have two minutes."

Switching the speaker off, he called to Uhura, "Inform detonation that we are approaching rapidly. They are to deploy on my signal."

"Yes sir."

"Mr. Chekov, tell me when the countdown reaches zero. At that moment, I will call 'go' to detonation, and Mr. Spock, you send the action alert down there."

Spock nodded, and placed his finger on the button in readiness.

"Mr. Sulu, you will employ an immediate hyperbolic course away from the portal, at the highest warp factor available."

"Aye sir."

"Vone minute," Chekov called.

"Mr. Spock?"

"Signal ready, Captain."

"Uhura, put me through to detonation."

"Signal connected, sir."

"Thirty seconds."

Bones still stood at the back of the bridge, his arms crossed once again, looking both skeptical and worried. "Heaven protect us," he muttered, as the yawning blackness zoomed ahead of them.

"Fifteen seconds."

Kirk stared too. He didn't quite feel as confident as his bravado to Spock and Bones had indicated, but he was not overly worried. There had been hundreds of equations done by Starfleet's best mathematicians and scientists relating to the probability of the success of this venture, and they had all come out quite positive, providing sufficient precautions were taken, which they were.

"Sir," Scotty's voice came frantically, "The engine is not repaired…"

"Ten seconds."

Kirk suddenly started feeling nervous. They needed all those engines.

Bones didn't help much. "You're not going to keep going now, are you? You'd be crazy to risk moving in without full power!"

Rather than respond, Kirk shouted, "Sulu, reverse power."

"Helm is not responding, Captain." His hands moved frantically over the console. "The gravity is pulling us in."

"Five," Chekov began, "four, three…"

"Scotty, boost power!" Kirk yelled into the intercom. "I'll take anything you can give me. Full impulse, controlled implode, auxiliary power…"

"I'm giving her everything I've got, Captain!" the Scottish voice yelled back.

"Two, vone!" came the end of the countdown, and the ship jolted dramatically. Bones dropped to the floor, hitting his chin on the rail. He immediately lost consciousness.

Spock, without being asked, pressed the alarm button and just milliseconds later, the probe dropped out and was sucked ruthlessly into the hole.

Kirk jumped up and grabbed the helm controls himself. "Respond," he muttered under his breath.

"Captain, not enough engine power!" Scotty called up again. "I can't get her rebalanced!"

"Mr. Scott, we need helm power! Divert all power to bridge, take out anything else you need. Rec rooms, sick bay, control systems, whole decks if you need to. Anything!" Sweat was pouring down his face and he was about to push Chekov out of the way when the Ensign voluntarily vacated his seat. Kirk took the chair.

"I've already taken almost everything but thermal control…"

Kirk almost screamed in his urgency. "Then take that out too! If we don't get out of here, we're all going to die!"

"Sir, control is returning," Sulu yelled, to be heard over the acceleration.

"Break away! Sulu!"

He didn't even have to order it. Sulu was already working the controls, getting them out of there, pulling off. With a giant lurch, the Enterprise broke free of the gravity and moved away. Uhura screamed, then called, "I'm alright!" Looking over his shoulder, Kirk saw that she'd fallen to the floor.

"We're free, sir."

"Decrease speed, Mr. Sulu."

The order was immediately obeyed, and Kirk hurried over to help Uhura up. "Are you alright?" he asked, taking her by the arm.

"I'm fine," she breathed. "I just hurt my ankle a little." She winced as she tried to put her weight on her foot.

Kirk pulled her arm around his shoulders to steady her. "Lean on me. We'll get you to sick bay. Bones, you…"

"Doctor McCoy has had an accident of his own," Spock informed, looking at the prostrate Doctor's form stretched across the deck.

Still supporting Uhura with his arm, Kirk called to Chekov, who was still standing. "Chekov, get medics up here. Chekov? Chekov, did you hear me? I said get the medics up here."

Chekov turned his head a bit dazedly. "I'm sorry, Captain. I feel a bit strange. I'll get them right avay."

Hurrying to the communications console, he called, "Medics to bridge, ve have two patients."

There was something unusual about his tone, but Kirk couldn't quite place it. Inwardly shrugging it off, he called to Spock, "Tell Scotty to restore power to thermal control immediately, and get things back to normal as soon as he can."

"Just a minute, I'm busy."

The terse words shocked Kirk. Since when had Spock spoken like that? Impatient? He couldn't be. He was just tired, shocked, perhaps even slightly frustrated by the incident. Perhaps he needed a little stay in sick bay too.

A minute later, Spock walked to the intercom and spoke into it. "Scotty, the Captain wants you to get things back to normal. Excellent work, we're safe now." He turned the intercom off.

Kirk continued staring at the Vulcan. There was nothing wrong with the order, but the tone was off. And never before had Spock referred to the engineer as "Scotty." It was always "Mr. Scott."

But he didn't have time to contemplate that now. Medics had entered and were relieving him of his burden, carrying Bones off on a stretcher and helping Uhura out into the turbolift.

"Well that was an adventure," smiled Sulu. "Really exciting. Didn't you think so, Captain?"

Again, something wasn't right here. Sulu, calling danger "adventure" and near-death experiences "exciting?" And that smile - yes, Sulu smiled, but not like that. Not usually. This was a cheerful, almost childish grin. Not the cool, handsome smile of the Sulu who usually sat at the helm.

"Well? Jim, aren't you going tell us what we're supposed to do next?"

That was Spock's voice, but it wasn't Spock's words. It wasn't right. "Spock? What's wrong?"

"Wrong?" The always tilted eyebrows tilted further in an expression of frustration. "What in the name of Vulcan are you talking about, Jim? Does something seem wrong to you?"

Chekov and Kirk exchanged surprised glances. "Captain," Chekov suggested, "Mr. Spock seems tired. Do you think vhat ve just vent through could possibly have put too much stress on him?"

Now something else seemed off. Chekov, serious? And his grin was gone. Still, the advice was sensible. "Spock, you do seem tired. I really think you ought to go lie down."

"Doggone it, nothing's the matter with me, Jim, I just wish you wouldn't go toting us all into trouble like that. When are you ever going to learn?"

Now Sulu looked surprised too. He looked down at the helm and traced the spaces between the controls with his finger, like an awkward child who was in the middle of a group of arguing adults.

"Listen, all of you." Kirk clapped his hands on his pant legs, trying to calm himself. "Don't any of you see something different here? Why are you all acting this way? Spock, you - you're the one who is particularly…"

The turbolift doors opened, and Bones strode out, hands clasped behind his back, eyebrows furrowed in strict concentration.

"Doctor, I thought you were in sick bay? Are you doing alright?"

"Of course, I am completely fine. Did we get safely away from the hole?"

He seemed subdued somehow. Calm and serious. But then, he had just recovered from being knocked out, he was sure to be somewhat quiet.

"Yes, we're away. But there's something wrong here. These three are acting strangely. Have you noticed anyone else down there with strange behavior patterns?"

"I have noticed several people down there with strange behavior problems. Several of my nurses are showing odd personality changes. And when I met Mr. Kenders in the halls, he was not himself at all."

Kirk sank into his chair, bewildered. Out of habit, he looked in Sulu's direction, expecting to find a calm, sympathetic look to reassure him. Instead, Sulu was tapping his hands on the console in front of him idly, and looking at Kirk with a childish half-innocent look. It was unnerving. Chekov, on the other hand looked serious and mature, and ready for action.

"What is going on here," he muttered once again. Then he pressed the intercom. "Scotty, did you follow my orders to get everything returned to normal?"

The answer didn't come for a minute. Then, the Scottish brogue drawled out, "I started it, Captain Kirk, but I'm really very tired right now. I thought it could wait…"

"Scotty!" Kirk clutched the sides of his chair, panicking again. "We need thermal control! We need power in sick bay!"

"Oh yes, I finished those. But the rec room can wait, don't you think? And I really don't think they need power on B-Deck. I'm tired, Captain, I need some rest…"

Angrily, Kirk switched off the intercom. He'd never, ever heard Scotty that lazy before. The industrious, miracle-working, quick-witted Scotty? He turned to Spock, who had sat down and looked more irritated than ever.

"What is the matter with everybody anyway?" Again, the impatient words sounded bizarre coming from that Vulcan face. "Sulu, why are you acting like a kid? And what does Scotty think he's doing, putting those things off? I have half a mind to go down there and give him a piece of my mind, then fix things myself!"

All four of the human men stared. Bones turned towards Kirk seriously. "Fascinating. A pattern seems to be developing. These people all seem to have experienced personality turnarounds of some kind."

"But why would only some people experience it?" Kirk shook his head. "And what kind of pattern is this? Take Sulu for instance - he's not exactly the opposite of how he was before, he's just… different. I can't explain it. But it's not as simple as opposites. There's something we're missing…" his voice trailed off as his mind realized something that had happened seconds ago. Fascinating. The word, and the tone that accompanied it, was familiar. But not from the Doctor.

"True," Bones admitted. "And to assume that the normal pattern of thought has been upset somehow…"

"How dare you assume such a thing, you red-blooded imbecile?" Spock spluttered. "You humans think you know everything about everything, don't you? Assume we're all drugged, assume we're dead, you can assume anything!"

"Calm yourself, Mr. Spock," Bones said composedly, his hands still behind his back, and one eyebrow raised. "The assumptions you suggest are ridiculous. Logic suggests…"

"I've got it!" Kirk jumped up.

The two stopped arguing, and looked at him in surprise. Sulu and Chekov looked up as well.

"Don't any of you see? We've heard this argument before, but the sides have reversed. That's what it is - personalities and thought patterns haven't just changed, they've switched places! That logic is Spock's, and that emotion is McCoy's. Chekov, you're usually the naive, simpler one, and Sulu is the steady one. You two have switched somehow."

Sulu and Chekov looked at each other, surprised, and slightly amused. Bones raised an eyebrow. "Fascinating."

"Somehow?" Spock was still not convinced. "You'll have to give me something better than just somehow. How could this happen?"

"More importantly," Chekov broke in, "How does it get undone? I don't vant to have your personality stuck in my body forever," he looked at Sulu, "no offence."

"None taken," Sulu grinned. "I don't want your silly thought patterns in my head."

Kirk said nothing to this banter. He was thinking. For all Spock's irritation, he was right about one thing - somehow was not good enough. He'd have to think this one through. There had to be some reason, some order to it.

He ran his mind over the last half-hour or so. They had begun accelerating. Scotty had told them about the engine, Chekov and Sulu had talked about chess, Bones and Spock had shaken hands and agreed for once about Kirk's illogic.

"Could it be whoever was speaking to each other as we approached the event horizon?" he theorized out loud. But Bones shook his head.

"That is not logical. We were all talking together up here. You, me, Spock, Uhura, Sulu, Chekov - everybody. And you and Uhura are both acting perfectly normal. I just saw her in sick bay."

Kirk had to admit that this made sense. Spock glared at him as if to say, "strike one." Spock was beginning to get annoying.

He thought again. There had to be some other connection. Rewinding his memories again, he played back the conversation between Spock and Bones earlier. "Allow me to congratulate you, Mr. Spock…"

And then they had shaken hands.

Then Sulu and Chekov. "…vhen all this is over, ve can finish that chess game…"

And Chekov had clapped Sulu on the back.

"It's touching," he cried, standing up.

"What are you talking about, Jim?" Spock was getting annoyed again.

"The last person you touched, that's who you switch thought patterns with. Don't you remember? Bones came in to shake your hand and 'congratulate' you."

For a moment, Spock was silent, thinking, remembering. Bones nodded.

"You're right, Jim."

"But…" Kirk looked puzzled again. "I'm pretty sure I patted Spock on the shoulder right before Bones came in. Why haven't I been affected?"

Chekov replied sensibly and helpfully, pointing to his chronometer. "The incidents of touching that seem to have affected us all occurred vithin the last ten minutes before detonation."

"Well sure that seems to be adding up," Spock conceded, crossing his arms. "But it still doesn't make any sense. We may know the what, but where's the why? The how?"

Just seeing Spock's arms crossed shook Kirk considerably. He never crossed his arms. "You're the scientist. You tell me."

"Yes," Bones agreed. "The shift doesn't seem to have affected our minds themselves, or our abilities, education, and so forth. I'm still a doctor, he's still the scientist. We have past memories intact."

"So," Sulu ventured, "you mean we're still us. It's just the way we act that's weird?"

"I'll prove it," Chekov suggested. "You tell me vhat you ate for breakfast."

"I only ate a granola bar. I wasn't hungry."

"That's right," Kirk spoke up. "I sat by him, I saw."

"So what happens now?" Spock again. He was ready to do something about all this. Kirk guessed that the reason he was even more irritable than McCoy usually was, was that he was so flustered by this unusual manner that had suddenly been thrust upon him.

"I'll need you and Bones to work together to figure out what caused this to happen, and how to reverse it."

"Me, work with that cold-blooded medical nuisance?"

"Since we must work together," Bones said calmly, striding up to Spock's side, "we may as well make the best of it. There's no need to get upset."

Kirk clapped his hands to his temples. He didn't think he could take much more of this. "You two stop your bickering! I'll need both a medical and scientific view of the situation, now start analyzing! Sulu, we're going to be staying here until we figure out how to get out of this mess. Chekov, I want you to accompany me down to engineering to see that Scotty does his work."

Chekov dutifully rose and followed Kirk out. Bones and Spock started arguing again before they were even into the turbolift. He was about to yell to Sulu to keep the two of them in line when he remembered that Sulu was now like Chekov. He wouldn't be able to handle it. With a sigh, he pushed a button and was moved to engineering. Chekov looked sympathetically at him.

When they reached engineering, they found Scotty laying against the wall with a bottle in his hand, singing some Scottish song at the top of his lungs. Chekov stomped up and snatched the bottle away from him, examining the label. Kirk reached down and yanked Scotty to his feet. Scotty stared stupidly at them.

"What do you think you're doing, drinking on the job?" Kirk was not happy, and wasn't afraid to show it. "Why haven't my orders been obeyed?"

"Tired, tired Captain," Scotty mumbled, his eyelids drooping.

Kirk grabbed the engineer's shoulders and shook him violently. "Snap out of it, Scotty! Scotty, we need you to do your work. Scotty?"

"Certainly, certainly Captain. Just a moment, I'm tired." He began humming his song, and his eyes closed again.

"Scotty!" Kirk shook him again, and his eyes flew open. "Tell me, who did you touch?"

"Sir?"

"Did you touch anyone shortly before the arrival at the event horizon?"

"I don't remember…" the eyes closed again and he started singing under his breath.

"I need you to remember!" Kirk was yelling now, and shook Scotty once again.

"Ah yes, I think Crewman Clark handed me a wrench or something."

Kirk dropped Scotty, who sank onto the floor singing. Crewman Clark, of course. Notorious for laziness, drunkenness, and all around no-goodness. He was to have been let off as soon as they made it back to space dock. Of all the people for Scotty to come in contact with!

Chekov understood. "Vhere are all the other engineers?"

"They're probably all contaminated. They're always handing each other things, they probably all ended up touching somebody."

He paced back and forth a few steps. Chekov stood by, ready to receive orders. Finally, Kirk stopped and faced the navigator.

"We must have order. I'm going to need someone to let everyone know what happened. I'm going to get Uhura from sick bay and give her the job of announcing what's going on. I need you to stay here and do the best you can with the power. If I happen to see Crewman Clark, I'll send him down."

Chekov nodded with a smile. "He'll be acting like Scotty. Not that he'll have the miracle-vorking know-how, but still…"

"He may be helpful," Kirk finished. Chekov nodded again and headed for the engines. With a last look at the snoring Scotty, Kirk hurried out and made his way to sick bay.

He found some nurses wandering around giggling, and some working hard trying to maintain order. A few were sitting somewhat dazedly on the beds. Uhura lay on a bed at the far end of the room, her ankle bandaged carefully and her boot laying on the floor. Apparently, she'd managed to attract the attention of a nurse who wasn't too disoriented to help her.

Shoving through the confusion, he called to her.

"Yes, Captain?" she sat up readily. The mere fact that she was acting like herself, albeit a bit bewildered, made him so relieved he wanted to hop over and hug her. But he controlled himself, and started explaining.

"I need you to let everyone know what's happening," he finished. "It seems that you and I are among the very few who are unaffected."

She smiled and nodded, then her face clouded slightly. "I'm not sure I can walk, Captain…"

"I'll fix that." Hurriedly, he swept her up and carried her out, despite the protestations of some of the nurses. "I need her to get back to work," he yelled when medics tried to stop him.

When they reached the bridge, he set her gently in her chair, and she got to work immediately.

Sulu was laying back in his seat and looking helplessly at Spock and Bones. They were no longer insulting each other, which was an improvement, but they were most definitely not getting along.

"Of course I know that," Spock was spouting. "But I still have a hard time believing that that would cause something like this. It doesn't make physical sense."

"You having a hard time believing something, doesn't make it true or false," Bones corrected. "It is what it is."

"But how would that…"

"Science is your domain, Mr. Spock. Medicine is mine. You tell me about the effects of gravity and time, and I'll tell you what it does to the human body. Remember?"

Kirk interrupted them. "What have you come up with, gentlemen?"

"I think we have it," Bones informed, looking at the Vulcan out of the corner of his eye.

"I don't," Spock said obstinately.

"Just tell me what you do have." Kirk was thoroughly exasperated. "I'll be the judge of whether or not we act on it."

"Gravity affects time," Spock began. "Because time is simply objects moving through space, and objects are mass, and mass determines gravitational pull, time and gravity are related. Got that?"

Kirk nodded. "So far."

"Okay. So when we got sucked in, the time we were in there affected the time before we were in there. By ten minutes, apparently. More or less."

"Anything that had happened in the previous ten minutes was compressed into the present time," Bones clarified.

Spock shot him an ugly glance. "I'll explain the science, thank you very much."

It never stopped shocking Kirk. Every time Spock opened his mouth, it shocked him. This wasn't the man he'd worked with all these years.

Spock went on. "The physical contact between bodies that had occurred in those ten minutes was still happening, basically."

Bones broke in. "Because it was still happening, electronic impulses - brain waves, if you will - were contained in that moment of time. The compression of time sped them up, and they needed somewhere to go. That place was to travel into the other person - the person being touched. So the patterns of the 'brain waves,' were transferred from one person to another, and vice versa. It's that simple."

Kirk wiped his brow. That simple, was it? He still wasn't sure he understood, but he trusted both of them, and if they were confident that was the case, he believed them.

Spock's angry voice broke through his thoughts. "Yes, but we don't know all that about electronic impulses and speeding up. You're just making up that part."

"I assure you, I am not making it up, Mr. Spock. I know how brains work, and I know, thanks to you, the effect the gravity had on time. Based on those calculations of yours, combined with what we know to be the result of the change, this conclusion is inescapable."

"Inescapable, is it? Well just let me ask you…"

"Will you two just stop it?" Kirk bellowed. "Let me think."

The Vulcan and the doctor kept quiet, and the only sound on the bridge other than the clicking, whirring and beeping of electronic devices was Uhura's clear voice as she continued to announce the difficulties to the crew.

Finally, Kirk asked, "So what is the cure? Have you figured that out yet?"

"There, we agree," Bones said.

"Miracle of miracles," Spock muttered sulkily. Then, "We would have to expose the crew to another equal amount of gravity after they had touched the same person they had been switched with. That would reverse the so-called 'brain waves.'"

"Good Heavens! You're not saying we have to fly into that thing again and hope we get out alive?" Kirk hoped that wasn't the only way.

"That would not be logical," Bones agreed. "It is out of the question. However, we do have artificial gravity mechanisms on this ship…"

Kirk understood immediately. "And we could turn it up to the required mass factor. But won't that be difficult to control?"

"If we try to do the whole crew at once, yes," Bones nodded.

"We'd have to do it a few at a time."

Kirk realized what they were suggesting. "Turn it up in only one section, one room even. Then everyone who's been affected can go in there one or two at a time, and we can control the switches."

"It will take awhile - maybe even several days. But it's the only safe way." Bones spoke seriously, and Spock, through frowning, looked equally determined.

Kirk sighed. Then he turned to Uhura. "I have new announcements for you to make."

After she'd announced over the intercom the plan that must be put into action, Kirk hurried down to get Chekov. He would need the help of a level-headed man, and Chekov - with Sulu's thought patterns - was his best bet at the moment. He was there, supervising Crewman Clark, who was working hard, but clumsily.

"He has the vill," Chekov explained to Kirk, "but not the ability. I think he's done all he can."

"She's as speckled as a Jersey cow, Captain," Clark panted, wiping his hands and forehead. He wedged his portly body out from between the engines. "I don't think I can do much more with her."

"Thank you, crewman." After explaining the plan to Chekov, Kirk suggested, "We'll need to make a list of everyone who's been effected, and prioritize them somewhat."

"I think that these two should be on the top of the list, sir." Chekov nodded at Crewman Clark, enthusiastic but weary, and Scotty, asleep on the floor still.

"I think you're right." Kirk handed Chekov an electronic log. "Start your list, Ensign. And I think you'll have to run the gravity for the first shot, since Scotty won't be available yet. Can you handle that?"

"Of course, sir!" Chekov began making his list in a business-like way, and looked towards the gravity controls. "How vould rec room ten do for the chamber? It's small, and ve have direct control over it."

"Excellent thinking, Chekov." Kirk watched as the Russian seated himself at the controls, and then he jerked Scotty off the floor.

"Scotty!" he yelled, slapping him in the face. "Scotty, wake up. I need you to do something for me!"

Scotty only murmured and closed his eyes again.

With a sigh Kirk threw Scotty's arm around Clark's neck. "Take him to rec room ten. We'll have you back to normal in no time."

"Yes sir." Willingly, Clark began leading Scotty firmly out of the room.

"Do ve have a gravity factor, Captain?"

For answer, Kirk walked to the nearest intercom and called to the bridge, "Spock, we need a gravity factor."

When a voice answered, it was McCoy's. "He's getting it up on the computer now, Jim. And he's not using particularly choice language about it either."

Kirk could hear Spock shouting in the background and sighed. He'd be beyond glad when the old Spock was back.

The next voice that came over the speaker was that of Spock himself. "260,053 N, Jim."

"Are you sure?"

This seemed to annoy Spock. "Jim, I'm up here trying…"

"Alright, alright," Kirk hastened to appease, "I'm sorry. For how long?"

"Two seconds should be safe and effective," Bones's voice instructed again.

"I'm the scientist here, what do you think you're doing?" Spock burst in again. Kirk turned off the speaker and turned to Chekov, who had already entered the numbers they'd been given.

Kirk handed him a communicator, and flipped on his own. "I'll radio you when they're inside. Don't make a mistake," he warned, as if Chekov didn't know the dangers.

For answer, Chekov put his finger on the control. Kirk hurried from the room.

When he reached the rec room, Clark was just closing the door behind himself and Scotty. After making sure the door was secure, Kirk called to Chekov. "Ready, Chekov."

There was a moment of silence, then a yell from inside, and then silence again. The Russian voice came from his communicator. "Finished, Captain."

Kirk burst open the door. Both Scotty and Clark lay face up on the floor, staring at the ceiling. Kirk rushed over and looked down on them. "Are you two alright?"

For a moment they just stared at him. Then Scotty smiled, and said, "Right as rain, Kirk." He appeared to still be slightly drunk - after all, the gravity couldn't take the alcohol out of his system - but otherwise normal. Clark yawned.

With a smile, Kirk reached down to help Scotty up. "We need that engine rebalanced, Mr. Scott."

"Aye, sir!" was the enthusiastic answer, and he hurried out, followed by a slower, yawning Clark.

The next several days were busy. Chekov had to go around figuring out who was contaminated, and who was their "MP," as they came to be called - mind partner. Then the pair would be put together, told to touch in some way, and exposed to the gravity. It worked every time.

When Spock and Bones emerged from the chamber, they both looked a bit sheepish. Spock cleared his throat and spoke quietly to Kirk, who stood there smiling. "Captain, I feel that I owe you an apology. I have been acting in an abominable fashion."

"Forget it, Spock. And call me Jim, please." The two shook hands warmly.

"What do you mean to say, you've been acting in an abominable fashion?" frowned Bones. "Do you mean to say that I act in an abominable fashion, you inhuman insult?"

Kirk stifled a grin. That was better.

Sulu and Chekov ended up being the last pair to be un-gravitized. Chekov was busy being Kirk's personal assistant, and Sulu stayed at the helm, a bit lonely without Chekov beside him. When they finally came out together, four days later, Chekov's usual grin was back, and Sulu's steady smile appeared on his face. Uhura's ankle had also healed by now.

"Well," Kirk sighed, sinking into his chair at last, when it was all over. Sulu and Chekov were at the helm, Spock sat at the science station, Bones was down in sick bay, Uhura was monitoring communications, and Scotty was working hard in engineering. "I'm glad that's over."

Spock glanced at him and raised one eyebrow.

"Alright, alright. You and Bones were right, I shouldn't have rushed into this. But everything turned out alright."

"Yes, it's all fine now," Uhura agreed.

Chekov scoffed. "That's easy for you two to say. You didn't actually go through anything."

"I beg to differ," Uhura said indignantly. "I sprained my ankle, and the Captain nearly worked himself to death trying to get all you silly children back to normal…"

But Kirk held up his hand wearily. "Thank you, thank you, Uhura, but I'd really rather avoid arguments for now. I'd like a little peace and quiet, if that's not too much to ask."

"Sir," Spock announced, "Approaching an unknown planet. I'm reading life signs there, but no civilization or water."

"Captain," Uhura followed up, "an urgent message from Starfleet: we are to head to Trisup Gamma 14 and figure out the whereabouts of a scientist who was lost there twenty years ago."

"Sir," Chekov called, "Our scanners are picking up a radiation surge ahead, but nothing shows on the scopes."

"Jim?" Bones's voice spoke from his intercom, "A yeoman was just brought up here with some unheard of extreme thiamine-deficiency disease."

"Captain," Scotty's voice echoed, "There's something the matter with the replicators, they're turning out nothing but asparagus seeds!"

"Sir…" Sulu started, but Kirk stood up and held up his hand again. There was silence for a moment as he stared ahead.

Then, "Mr. Spock, ignore the planet for the present. Uhura, tell Starfleet we're on our way. Chekov, navigate around the surge. Bones, examine and quarantine the patient, see what you can discover. Scotty, focus on repairs immediately, the crew can't eat nothing but asparagus seeds." He turned to Sulu. "What did you have to say?"

"I just wanted to ask you for orders, sir."

Kirk sat down again. "We make for Trisup Gamma 14. Warp one, Mr. Sulu."

"Aye sir."

Sighing, Kirk watched as the stars began flying past. Here we go again…