*ReflectionS* : Li :



*Darkness.

It was a lonely night. And the weather seemed to agree with me. Drops of rain scattered everywhere, leaving puddles for people to step in.

I didn't care.

I looked outside my window. It had only turned 8:00 and already the sky seemed empty. I could see no moon, no stars - but wait, yes. I see one. It was right in front of me. It hung on the black sky like it belonged.

It did belong.

I sighed deeply. I felt so lonely. Wei had returned to Hong Kong. Since the Clow Cards were all captured, what was the use? And Meilin, well she decided enough was enough. Why wait for something that can never happen?

So why am I still here?

I should've been smart. I should've left with Wei and Meilin. At least she cared about me...

But then why go back? It's been three years. Nothings waiting for me back there. A mother and four sisters. What can they give me? I'm only a worker for them, a student even. I'm not their brother, let alone her son. They didn't care.

So why should I? If they don't want me, fine. I don't need them. Maybe that's why I stayed. Yeah that it's, I stayed because of them.

I looked back up at the star. I hated lying to myself. It made me feel... pathetic.

The star was alone, but it seemed to be doing fine. It shined with light, like it was smiling at me.

Am I crazy?

I must be. A star can't smile at you. It's a star. But it was nice. It felt like something actually cares.

I shook my head. I've been working too hard. I should cut back on all those sword exercises.

I leaned against the my bed. The floor was cold, but that didn't bother me. I stretched my feet so that my toes touched my window. It was cold too.

I let out a sigh. Never in my life did I feel so... pathetic.

I mean look at me, a thirteen year old boy complaining about feeling lonely.

Now I felt even more pathetic.

I looked up at the star again. This time I saw no smile.

A faint giggle echoed in my ears. I like the way she giggled, which is odd since that usually irritates me. Giggling school girls aren't for me. But she was different. She was... special.

I could see her face now. Her green eyes sparkled.

I snapped myself out of it. She doesn't care. And even if she did, it's been so long since we saw each other, let alone spoken to each other. She didn't feel the same way...

My heart twisted. I shouldn't think about that. But it was hard not too. I could still remember vividly how I confessed to her. Now I know how Meilin felt. At least she loved me, but I didn't love her back...

Guilt. Why couldn't I love her? Why couldn't she love me?

There is May Lee, but she might as well be just another 'Meilin'.

Love sucks. I had options though. I could go back to Hong Kong and grovel, or go to her and make a fool of myself, again. Or stay here and die alone. I hated me.

I made terrible decisions. I can't believe I actually thought she'd feel the same. I was blind. I was expecting a fairy tale ending, but instead I got a punch in the stomach.

The face smiled at me now. I scowled. Go away.

No one cared about me. No matter how much I tried to tell myself other wise. Sure I had classmates, friends even. But they could care less, they don't even know me.

I miss my old life. My CardCaptor days seemed endless. But only time's endless.

Time.

I reached in my drawer that remained near my bed. I pulled out my life's work. What I've been aiming for my whole life. They were merely a handful. She had the rest. I scanned through them: The Twin, The Cloud, The Dash, The Return - ah, yes. I seperated it from the rest. The Time.

I smiled as I held it in front of me. But that quickly ended. I threw the Card back in my drawer. It was a desperate move. Too many risks. Turning back time is stupid.

I looked out my window again. The star was still there. I smiled. I had no idea why but it felt like it was watching over me. Like it would never leave. But sooner or later, it would. They all would. Every single one of them, just waiting to get you hooked.

But I didn't care. At least I have something...