Well this is my first attempt at an NCIS fic so I'll give it my best shot. My exams just finished and I needed something to centre my mind, enjoy!
After being rescued from Somalia Ziva was denied return to NCIS but was able to stay in America yet not all scars are completely visible.
Ziva sat in a huddle in the corner of the sleazy motel bathroom. Her stomach ached from the retching and she was unable to gather enough strength to reach for some water and rinse the foul taste from her mouth. She looked down at her slightly rounded stomach and for what seemed like the hundredth time questioned her decision to do this. She was alone, scared and there was no one she could turn to. After a brief reunion with her teammates at NCIS which grew cold at an alarming rate she had felt almost forced to leave. She didn't even get a chance to apologise to Tony and they didn't want to see her anymore she knew that much.
They hated her for what she had done to Tony, the pain she had caused him, and she hated herself for it to. 'I am worthless' she thought 'I do not even think I am fit to be a mother'. Ziva was scared out of her wits not knowing how her baby would turn out. She didn't know the father as a lot of her memories from Somalia were blurry and mixed. Every day a constant stream of unanswered questions plagued her. Would the baby become like its father? Was she going to be able to raise it? Would she look into its eyes for the first time and see one of her many attackers? All she knew when she found out her condition was that she couldn't get rid of it.
'The baby has already fought for survival against all odds, who am I to make that effort wasted?' Ziva had mused, no one knew and it tore her up inside. The reality of it was her decision to have this baby was in fact pushing her further away from ever being able to see her teammates again, and Tony. 'Things had been going so well with Tony before the situation with Michael' she thought 'while my feelings for him would always have to remain hidden it was nice just to be close enough' It was only thanks to her Mossad training that she was able to keep them separate from her old job.
Her lack of job was another issue as she now had no source of income, no family ties, no one to rely on and people didn't exactly want to hire a pregnant woman. As she began to heave again tears poured down her face. If anyone else had been there she would have blamed it on the hormones, or that her body was still not healed but in truth she cried for the misery of her situation and the hopeless outlook of her life and the life she was bringing into the world against her better judgment.
I know it's short and really angsty but they will get longer and hopefully more cheerful. I should be uploading a much longer second chapter today or tomorrow, this was just to set the scene! Please read and review!