Heeeeyyyyy peoples! So, Dr. Horrible fans, I wrote a Penny POV because I… I, uh… just DID! Okay, whatever, I've gotta do this, but I'm making my good friend, Billy, do it for me.
Billy (looking at small slip of paper with writing on it): Okay… um… Nikki, I can't read your handwriting.
Me: Oh, for Pete's sake! *whispers what to say in his ear*
Billy: Oh, I got it! Okay, Nikkibell does NOT own any Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog lines or characters, no matter how amazingly hot Billy is.
Me: Okay, I did NOT say that!
Billy: You thought it.
Me: I did no such thing!
Billy: Nik, I'm in your head, I can read your thoughts.
Me: Well that's just…I'm not… uh… Goodness, look at my wrist! I gotta go! ENJOY THE STORY!
I threw another pair of underwear into my washing machine. It was laundry day again. Most people dread these two days of the week, but I love them. I've always liked doing laundry.
The man at a washer next to mine mumbled something. "What?" I asked.
"No, I-I ju- I love the air, ha." I nodded and turned back to my laundry. Weird, I thought.
"Will you lend a caring hand, to shelter those who need it?" I sang, attempting to hand out fliers. Everyone just passed by, hardly looking at the papers. "Only have to sign your name. Don't even have to read it," I sang desperately. At the rate I was going, I would never get enough signatures to shelter the homeless. "Would you lend a- no? How about you?"
People just shook their heads and passed by. I looked around for someone who might sign and saw a man with his back to me doing something.
"Would you lend a caring— " I sang, coming up behind him.
"Aah!" he declared in surprise, turning to me. "Ah… ah… hah… what?"
I blinked, a little startled, but said, "Um, I was wondering if you would… hey, I know you!"
"Hello. You know me? Cool. I mean, yeah, you do. Do you?" the man asked, not taking his hands away from his iPhone.
"From the laundromat," I reminded him.
"Wednesdays and Saturdays except twice last month, you skipped the weekends. I mean… if that was you, it could've been someone else. I mean I've seen you…" He paused. "Billy… is my name."
"Well, I'm Penny." I stuck my hand out to his, but he didn't take it. He just kept on doing something with his iPhone. "Um, what are you doing?"
"Uh, texting," Billy replied. "It's very important or I would stop. What are you doing?"
"Actually," I said happily. "I have this petition. Do you have a minute?"
"Uh…" he looked behind him. "Uh, yeah, go…"
"There's this great old building that…" I rambled on and on, but I could tell he wasn't listening. So I finished with, "…and get them into job training so they can… buy jetpacks and go to the moon and… become florists." Still no response. "You're not really interested in the homeless, are you?"
"No, no I am." Billy said quickly, turning back to me. "But it's a symptom. You're treating a symptom and the disease rages on. The fish rots from the head, so they say, so what I think is that why don't we cut off the head?"
I blinked. "Of the human race?"
He blinked. "It's not a… perfect metaphor. I mean we just need to put power into… other hands."
"I'm all for that," I told him happily. Then I felt worried that he didn't really get what I was talking about, so I said, "This petition is about the building."
"I'd love to sign it," he said happily.
"Thank you!" I declared. I leaned over for him to sign.
"Sorry, I-I come on strong," Billy apologized as he signed.
"But you signed," I said happily.
"Yeah, I wouldn't want to turn my back on a… fellow… laundry… person…" Billy said, looking over his shoulder again.
"Well, if we can't stick together, I don't know who…" I broke off, noticing he wasn't looking or listening. "I guess I'll see you there." I smiled a little and walked away.
"No… no I will," he called after me. I kind of smiled back at him. I continued asking people to sign, getting a 'no' after 'no' after 'no.'
Soon afterwards, I gave up. I walked out into the street, walking slowly. Then I looked down the street and saw a van coming straight at me. I gasped, but a man fell from the sky and landed next to me. He shoved me aside, landing me in the garbage.
"You idiot!" someone yelled angrily.
"Dr. Horrible," said a deep man's voice.
"You almost killed her!" the other voice yelled back.
"I remember it differently," countered the deep voice. Then there was a strange noise and the deep voice said something I didn't hear. But then it struck me who this man was. He was the hero of the town, something with Hammer in it…
I stumbled out of the pile of trash, giving my greatest thanks to Hammer. I vaguely noted that he was holding a blond man by the neck and banging his head against the van often. I didn't really care about this blond man; the only thing that mattered right now was Hammer.
"I can't believe we've been going here so long and never spoke," I informed Billy as we folded clothes the following Wednesday.
"I know, right?" Billy asked. "All those months doing this stunningly boring chore."
"I'm a fan of laundry," I said, folding a shirt. Billy looked a little uncomfortable, but then he said, "PHSYCE! I love it!"
I smiled. "Feeling the warm clothes in your hands…"
"So good," Billy agreed. Then he grabbed a small white bag he had, looked in it, and said, "Hey, that's weird. I ordered one frozen yogurt and they gave me two instead. You don't happen to like frozen yogurt, do you?"
"I love it," I told him, eyeing the cold desert he had in his hands.
"You're kidding, what a crazy random happenstance, here." He handed me one of the yogurts and a spork. Then he pulled out the other one, sat on his washing machine, and said, "How was your weekend? Spend all of it hunting for wild signatures?"
"Actually," I replied, a small smiled on my face as I ate a little yogurt. "I went on a date."
"Get right outta town, how was that?" he asked, eating his yogurt.
"Unexpected," I replied honestly. "He's this really good-looking guy, and I thought he was kinda cheesy at first…"
"Trust your instincts," Billy murmured under his breath.
"But," I said, skipping over his comment. "He turned out to be totally sweet. Some people are layered like that. You know, the surface underneath is completely different from the one on the top."
"And sometimes there's a third layer," Billy added. "That's the same as the top one."
I looked at him confusedly before giving a weak, "Huh?"
"Like with pie. You gonna see him again?"
I decided to ignore his strange pie comment and said, "I think I will."
Billy smiled nicely, but then I looked down and noticed something. "Billy?"
"Yeah?" he asked.
"You're driving a spork into your leg," I informed him. He looked down, looked back up and said, "So I am. Hilarious." Then he started laughing a forced laugh. I eventually joined in weakly.
"I just really think I'm qualified for this… this job," Billy told me as we ate frozen yogurt on top of the counter at the laundromat.
"I'm sure you'll get it," I told him reassuringly.
"Yeah, I just want to be an achiever, like Bad Horse."
"The Thoroughbred of Sin?" I asked in amazement. He got a little nervous look in his eyes.
"I meant… Ghandi," he covered lamely. I decided to pass over this. It wasn't the first time he had said something odd like that.
"Well," I said, changing the subject from this awkward conversation. "I've gotten turned down from plenty of jobs. Even fired a few times."
"I can't imagine anybody firing you," Billy told me.
"Neither could I," I said with a smile. "Now I can visualize it really well." Billy smiled. "But everything happens," I continued.
"Don't," Billy interjected, "say for a reason."
"No," I said. "Just… everything happens."
Billy looked upset. "Yeah, not for me."
I smiled sadly at him before singing, "Here's the story of a girl, who grew up lost and lonely. Thinking love was fairy tale and trouble was made only for me.
"Even in the darkness, every color can be found," I continued, putting a reassuring hand on Billy's knee. "And every day of rain brings water flowing to things growing in the ground." I stood up and began walking to a bench near a window.
I sang some more and Billy came and sat next to me on the bench. He looked down sadly, so I finished with, "So keep your head up, Billy buddy…" I lifted his head slightly with my hand. We looked into each other's eyes and slowly leaned forward.
STOP! The voice in my head yelled. You can't kiss Billy! "It's like Captain Hammer's always saying," I said quickly, removing my hand from his chin.
"Tch, right," Billy said. "How are things with 'Cheesy on the outside?'"
"Good," I replied awkwardly. "They're good. He's… nice." I paused. "I'll be interested to know what you think of him, actually. He said he might stop by."
Billy looked up. "Stop by here?" I nodded. Billy rolled up one of his sleeves and said, "Goodness, look at my wrist, I gotta go." He stood and walked quickly to the door.
"But, what about your clothes?" I called desperately, not wanting him to leave. He walked back to his washing machine, opened it, and immediately said, "I don't love these." He turned to leave again, but banged into the chest of my tall, handsome boyfriend, Captain Hammer.
"Pardon," Captain Hammer said.
"Pardon," Billy said, not looking at Captain Hammer's face.
"Oh, Billy," I said, joining them by Captain Hammer's side. "This is Captain Hammer."
"Ah, Billy, the laundry buddy," Hammer said. "It's nice to meet you."
"We're meeting now, for the first time," Billy said, blinking nervously.
"You look horribly familiar," Hammer said to him.
"One of those faces I guess," Billy replied, still not looking him in the face.
"Have I seen you at the gym?" Captain Hammer asked.
"At the gym," Billy repeated, nodding.
Captain Hammer looked up with an amused expression on my face. "Wait, I don't go to the gym, I'm just naturally like this. Anyway, who wants to know what the mirror is doing behind closed doors? He is signing over a building to a certain Caring Hands shelter."
"Oh, my God," I said, hardly daring to believe it.
"Congratulations," Billy said to me, smiling weakly.
"Thank you," I said, dazed slightly by my happiness. "Thank you," I said to Captain Hammer.
"Yeah, apparently, the only signature he needed, was my fist," Captain Hammer said, rising said fist. "But with a pen in it," he clarified quickly. "That I was signing with," he moved his hand in midair, miming writing.
"Oh, my God!" I repeated. Then I stood on my toes and quickly kissed Captain Hammer. Then the dryer my clothes were in beeped. I ran to it and started piling them into a basket. Then my feeling of happiness only very slightly faded when I remembered how Billy and I almost kissed earlier.
Don't think about that right now, I scolded myself. Right now, you've gotta focus on the homeless. I finished putting my clothes into the bucket, walked back to Captain Hammer, who was walking away from Billy. I slipped my arm around his waist and smiled a little at Billy as we walked out the door.
I was sitting on top of the counter holding to melting frozen yogurts in my hands. "This is perfect for me," I sang. "So they say, I guess he's pretty okay. After years of stormy sailing have I finally found the bay?"
The door behind me opened and I turned. It wasn't Billy.
I was seated next to Captain Hammer at the unveiling of the new homeless shelter. He had one arm around my shoulders and his other hand rested casually on my knee. We were listening to the mayor talk to the crowd in front of us.
"Justice has a name," he was saying. "And the name that it has, besides 'justice,' is Captain Hammer. In a few moments we will unveil a statue of the man himself…"
I smiled at Captain Hammer, who gave a satisfied smiled back. Then he stood up and walked to the podium, where he shook hands with the mayor and pulled a set of small cue cards from his glove.
"I hate the homeless…" he read. Then he changed cue cards and continued. "…ness problem that plagues our city. Everyone should have the basic… you know what? I don't need tiny cue cards." He tossed them over his shoulder and the proud emotion that was flowing through me was replaced by worry. "When I fell deeply in love with my serious longtime girlfriend, Penny, wave your hand, Penny." He gestured back to me and I nervously waved. "Isn't she cute?" Captain Hammer asked the crowd. "Kind of a quiet, nerdy thing, not my usual, but nice. But she turned me on to this homeless problem, which is terrible. And then I realized, that I'm not the only hero in the room tonight."
I felt a little relived, seeing where he was going. But then he started singing. "It may not feel to classy, begging just to eat. But you know who does that? Lassie. And she always gets a treat. So you wonder what your part is, 'cause you're homeless and depressed. But home is where the heart is, so your real home's in your chest.
"Everyone's a hero in their own way. Everyone's got villains they must face. They're not as cool as mine. But folks you'll know it's fine to know your place. Everyone's a hero in their own way. In their own not-that-heroic way.
"So I thank my girlfriend, Penny." He gestured back to me. "Yeah, we totally had sex." That was it for me. I stood up, trying to be unnoticed, and quietly walked off the side of the stage and into the shadows.
"… head up, Billy buddy, there's no time for mercy..." sang Dr. Horrible, Captain Hammer's nemesis. He walked to where Captain Hammer stood, frozen, and I slowly rose from my hiding spot behind a chair, mouthing 'Billy buddy…'
"Here goes no mercy…" Dr. Horrible pointed his death ray at Captain Hammer. I stood full up and looked around frantically. Then I saw the plug to Horrible's freeze ray. I yanked it from the wall. It made a powering down sound and Dr. Horrible lowered his death ray, turned his head to it, and said, "That's not a good sound."
He turned back to Captain Hammer, who suddenly punched him. Horrible went flying back, sliding across the floor on his back. Captain Hammer stood up, walked to him, picked up his death ray, and placed one of his feet on Horrible's chest, pinning him easily to the ground.
"WAAAAAAAAY!" Captain Hammer finished the song he had been singing when Horrible froze him, lifting his middle finger at Horrible as he did. "A death ray?" he asked loudly. "Well, looks like Dr. Horrible's stepping up." He lowered the gun to Dr. Horrible.
"No, don't," Horrible tried to say.
"I don't need your warnings," Captain Hammer said, his voice full of venom. "Give my regards to St. Peter. Or whoever has his job, but in hell." He pulled the trigger on the gun, causing it to do the last thing anyone expected: it blew up.
Shards from the gun flew everywhere, one of the planting itself into my chest. I flew back, hitting the wall and panting. I looked down at the shard sticking out of my chest, seeing the blood flowing from the wound the shard was obscuring. Then I heard Captain Hammer yelling in pain, saying, "Oh, I'm in pain! I think this is what pain feels like! Oh, Mama! Someone maternal! Get out of my way!" Then a door slammed. Dr. Horrible stood up and looked around the room, seeing people cowering in fear of him. Then he saw me.
"Penny!" he declared, running over and dropping to his knees at my side.
"Billy?" I said weakly, breathing heavily. "That you?"
"Oh, Penny," Billy stuttered. "Oh…"
"Are you alright?" I asked, still sounding weak from my pain.
"Penny, I…I…"
"It's okay…" I reassured him. "It's okay… Captain Hammer will save…" Then my vision started going, and my last sight was Billy leaning over me. My last thought was refusing to believe my best friend had killed me, intentionally or not.
Well, whadd'ya think? Hate it? Love it? Want to rip my guts out for writing it? Well, I'll have no way of knowing unless you review! Oh, and you MUST review! You've got to, or Billy will shoot you with his freeze ray!
Billy: No, I won't.
Me: Can it, Billy! I don't believe I was talking to YOU, now was I?
Billy: But you said I'd freeze them if they didn't review, which I won't.
Me: Aw, come on, Billy buddy! I'll be your best friend.
Billy: It's sad that you need a fictional character to be your best friend. Oh, my goodness! *points to TV where Beastly is playing* Who is that devilishly handsome man right there? *gestures to Neil Patrick Harris*
Me: Fist off, it's either a fictional character or my twin sister. Between those two, I'll take the fictional character.
Emma (from other room): Hey!
Me (ignoring Emma): Secondly, that good-looking guy is Neil Patrick Harris. He plays you in the movie.
Billy: So you admit I'm good-looking? *smirks*
Me: I… uh… I… YOU'RE A FIGMENT OF MY IMAGINATION. WHY AM I TALKING TO YOU?
Billy: 'Cause I'm handsome. You're thinking so right now.
Me (blushing): I'm not talking to you any more! Sometimes, you're a real pain in the-
Emma: Nikki, are you talking to your imaginary friends again?
Me: He started it! I just… oh, God, never mind! Just go away so I can finish this freakishly long AN.
:) Hope you liked it!