John was a cool guy.
Well, maybe not cool as in Matthew Mcconaughey cool, but the I don't hate anyone kind of cool. At least, until he met Mr I-wear-shades-to-hide-my-insecurities Strider. They first meet after Jade managed to hit them up on Pesterchum. At first he liked Dave, but there was something itching under his skin. With each word he said the red text only became more and more garish, and it just didn't quite work against John's own blue text. There was something up and John only found out what the first time he sees Dave's face, a year or so after he met him as Turntech.
Dave was hot. Like, fire hot.
The bastard had his shirt off, a coy smirk on his lips like he's the goddamned President and his voice is just so irritating. John couldn't help but fall for this asshole.
They spend the next few meetings acting nice. Passive-aggressively dealing with teenage hormones, Rose had called it. Jade had to step in a few times, calm the shit out of him with a well placed pat on the head because some troll asked her to. It probably was a joke, but he crumpled under her touch and positively purred.
Later he finds out that it was some weird effect the trolls created from their botched World-building. Karkat finds out what's wrong with John and Dave, and tells him the secret to their fucked up relationship.
So here he was, outside Dave's apartment in the middle of sweltering Texas (why Dave named the state that he didn't know) and getting ready to knock on the door. The door swings open and he sees Dave, those Ben Stiller shades slipping off his nose, revealing blood red irises that were just so entrancing that John wanted to rip-
Fuck.
"John?" His voice was hushed, and his muscles stiffen up. It was the usual reaction. John released his clenched fist (when had he clenched them) and examined the crescent shaped marks embedded into his skin.
"Who else?" he snarked with a bit more strain than he had let himself to believe. Dave blinked back and narrowed his eyes. He starts to say something but before John knew what was going on, Dave was pressed into the door and had a mouthful of mint breath.
It was hotter than anything anyone could imagine.
To see Dave struggle beneath him, fight for dominance so hard that he could taste blood on their entwined tongues. Dave glared at him from behind his glasses, and John only dove in deeper. He bit and sucked and tightened his grip on Dave's wrist. They separated, short of breath. He could feel Dave's breath hot on his lips.
Dave smirked.
"Didn't know Egbert could kiss so well." John only licked his lips in response, tasting fresh iron on his tongue.
"Fuck you." John dove in again.
"Gladly." Dave reciprocated, pulling the door open.
One might wwonder wwhy this is a thing. It is because I say so.