This is dedicated to my dear friend, Kon13, who inspired me with her beautiful story, Battered But Not Broken. Reading it made me realize that, despite my intense dislike of Kyo, I have neglected to give him a proper beat down. Whispers and Rain…please find it in your heart to forgive me…though you should have seen this coming!
He sat alone, drenched by the rain pouring down around him, the sound of it drowning out everything…except his thoughts. Usually, going to his secret base gave him a sense of peace. That he had a purpose for being here. For the longest time tending to his garden was his only reason for living because, if he died, so did the plants. A thought that seemed quite silly now.
"Hey! Asshole!" The angry voice assaulted his thoughts as his gaze shot up to meet a set of furious crimson eyes. "Are you trying to ignore me?" And it finally dawned on Yuki that his cousin, Kyo, had been standing there for quite some time.
"I thought I told you never to come here." Yuki responded frostily, his voice laced with malice.
"Don't look at me." Kyo spat, glaring down from where he stood. "I'm not the one that was worried about you." And Yuki watched as a gentle, sweet face peeked out from behind Kyo.
"Miss Honda?" Yuki whispered, taking in Tohru's worried expression.
"Yuki-kun…" She began, her gentle voice fighting to reach him over the rain. "I made you your favorite meal for dinner tonight…" She paused, casting her gaze to the ground, her voice growing low. "…but…you never showed up."
Yuki's expression became guarded. He knew she wanted to know the reason he hadn't come to dinner. But how could he even begin to explain. Explain to her that it hurt. It hurt to see them sitting together, eating together, laughing together, being happy…together. In front of him, while he just watched.
At one point he had even decided to…remedy…the situation. But Tohru had found him in his room before he had a change to drag the blade across his wrists. That night she had held him, so close to her, just like…him. She whispered to him that she cared for him, that she wanted him to live. And now…now this seemed like such a cruel fate.
"Why…" Yuki whispered, his voice barely coming above the downpour. "Why did you save me that night, Miss Honda?" His gaze dropped back to his garden, simply watching the plants as they were battered by the rain. "Why didn't you just let me die?"
"Why would you ask me such a thing, Yuki-kun?" Tohru's sad voice rose above the rain, and without even looking Yuki could tell that she was crying.
"Because…" Yuki's voice came low, his gaze still transfixed on the damage being done to his garden. "It's been decided…"
"What the hell is that suppose to mean, Rat Boy?" Kyo scoffed angrily, but Yuki simply ignored his cousin.
"Your heart decided, Miss Honda. You decided, and you never even asked me." Yuki was going to continue, but was cut off again by Kyo's indignant voice.
"Never asked you what, you bastard?" And Yuki's gaze turned contemptuous as he glared at Kyo before beginning again.
"You never asked how I felt…about you, Miss Honda." Yuki's expression became dismal as he looked back to Tohru who was still standing so close….to him.
"Yuki-kun…" Tohru sighed, watching the rain run down Yuki's face that hid the tears beginning to form.
"Just tell me." He pleaded with her, his voice coming fragile and desperate…he needed to know.
"Tell you what, exactly?" Kyo growled before Tohru could open her mouth, finally wrapping his arm protectively around her shoulder.
Yuki felt rage bubble up from deep inside him. How dare he touch her like that. Yuki looked from his cousin to Tohru, trying to find the answer she was not telling him.
"Miss Honda?" He whispered, his intense gaze penetrating hers as he continued to find the answer to his question…who would she choose, now that she knew?
"I'm…" Her voice came in a hush as she broke their gaze to look at the ground. "I'm sorry, Yuki-kun…" And Kyo tightened his arm around her as a smirk played across his face.
"…so am I…" Yuki responded, his voice coming hollow…he had his answer, and knew what he needed to do. "I just hope…that you can live with the consequence." His gaze met hers again, and he knew he couldn't live…not like this.
The uncontrollable rage burned under his flesh. This would end tonight, one way or the other. In a flash Yuki lunged at Kyo, taking him off guard. Kyo pushed Tohru to the ground, moving her to safety as Yuki landed the first blow to his face. Kyo stumbled back, a mixture of shock and rage playing across his face. Tohru's pleading blended into the rain as Yuki once again charged at Kyo, knocking him to the ground.
Pinned to the ground, Kyo looked up through the rain to see Yuki. The expression on his face frighteningly cold as he glared down at Kyo. The first blow to his face stung, landing just below his left eye. Before he could respond to fight back the next blow landed on his jaw, then another, and another. Kyo's vision began to blur as blood began to mix with the rain as it entered his eyes.
Kyo struggled against his cousin in an attempt to defend himself, but Yuki shifted his weight to further restrain Kyo to the ground. The assault continued as more blood began to mix with the water on his face, and Kyo began to feel himself become disoriented. Tohru's cries were drowned out the rain…and Yuki's own screaming. Yuki felt Kyo's body go limp underneath him, but continued to strike him with his fists as blood covered his fingers and knuckles.
Yuki's gasps were the only sound above the rain now, as he slumped over the still body beneath him. He watched as the blood soaked into the ground with the rain, staining the grass and dirt around him. Yuki lifted his hands to his face, beginning to weep as blood streaked across his own face, though, not his own. The weeping turned into deep, uncontrollable sobs as he put his hands down, looking at them as they trembled.
"Miss Honda…" He sobbed, finally turning his blood streaked face towards her in horror.
"Yuki…..kun…." She whimpered, her voice barely coming above the rain. "What have you done?" And they simply stared at each other, unable to look away.
End
I don't wanna die,
I don't wanna die
I don't wanna die so you're gonna have to
I don't wanna die,
I don't wanna die
No I don't wanna die so you're gonna have to
Blood is getting hotter, body's getting colder
I told you once I'm the only one who holds her
I don't wanna die,
I don't wanna die
I don't wanna die so you're gonna have to
I look inside of myself
And try to find someone else
Someone who's willin' to die
As to watch you crying for help
I know that blood will be spilled
And if you won't then I will
My grave will never be filled
It's either kill or be killed
So let heaven be told
That some may come some may go
Where I'll end up I don't know
But I ain't dyin' alone
I keep on asking the question
Can I be saved by confession
You see this blood on my hands
At least they're still reachin' to heaven
I got to pick up the pieces
I gotta bury 'em deep
And when you look in my eyes
I'll be the last thing you'll see
I don't wanna die,
I don't wanna die
I don't wanna die so you're gonna have to
I don't wanna die,
I don't wanna die
No I don't wanna die so you're gonna have to
Blood is getting hotter, body's getting colder
I told you once I'm the only one who holds her
I don't wanna die,
I don't wanna die
I don't wanna die so you're gonna have to
Words turn into blood
And the blood keeps on pourin'
From every pour I wipe it off
'Cause this just could be the moment
Now someones gotta die
And I'm my only opponent
Cause I won't watch my baby cry
So I keep on just goin'
Am I a man or a beast
It's mother nature at least
Watch humanity cease
Cause it's our human disease
You gotta kill when you gotta kill
Yeah that's what they say
And I can't go against God's will
You better pray
Cause I'm an angel a demon
Yeah I'm hell and I'm heaven
I'm everything you couldn't be
Now you believe in the devil
I gotta pick up the pieces
I gotta bury them deep
And when the dirt hits the coffin
Just go to sleep
I don't wanna die,
I don't wanna die
I don't wanna die so you're gonna have to
I don't wanna die,
I don't wanna die
No I don't wanna die so you're gonna have to
Blood is getting hotter, body's getting colder
I told you once I'm the only one who holds her
I don't wanna die,
I don't wanna die,
I don't wanna die...
Now that I see
I see
You buried... Six feet below.
Another life, goes into the night.
I couldn't let him breathe
'Cause I didn't wanna die...
Now that I see
I see
You buried... Six feet below.
It's not alright...
Can you hear me as I cry?
I couldn't let you live
'Cause I didn't wanna die...
I don't wanna die,
I don't wanna die,
No I don't wanna die...
I don't wanna die,
I don't wanna die,
I don't wanna die so you're gonna have to.
I don't wanna die,
I don't wanna die,
No I don't wanna die so you're gonna have to.
I don't wanna die.
I don't wanna die
So your gonna have to
I don't wanna die
I don't wanna die
You didn't have to die.
A/N: The song lyrics that inspired this story are from the song "I Don't Wanna Die" by Hollywood Undead.