A/N: This fic is based on stories Smith & McCrimmon Investigative Services, Ltd. and Return to the Home by the Sea by Crystal Rose of Pollux (read them, you won't regret it!). The main core is that Second Doctor and Jamie hold an investigative agency in New York City during Season 6B.

R&R, please!

Lionel Temple was used to everyday troubles which came upon combining his older sister Erfin and studying. And this evening he was prepared for them, but not to what he saw upon entering the room they shared.

Erfin was supine on her bed over the covers, clutching her history textbook, fully dressed and eyes closed. Moreover, there was a pile of same-themed books on her bed-table. What a blast! Erfin usually hated history, so what could make her take this many material? Perhaps some horrific test, Lionel thought and shook her awake.

"Huh? Whaa?.. Lionel! I'll tear you to pieces and sell 'em via Internet if you do like this one more time!" Erfin snarled, sleepily blinking, and dropped her textbook.

"Sorry Erf. I thought something might be wrong..."

"Yes, there's something wrong, there's something very wrong," Erfin spluttered, rubbing her black eyes with her fists. "I saw it there and there and there..." she nodded at the textbook pile. "Otherwise I wouldn't have to check..."

"Check what? Some history mistakes? Oh, Erf, those are like movie mistakes. You see them, but you can't change anything."

Erfin grabbed the hugest book from the pile's bottom (and didn't care that the rest of the books fell around) and began turning its pages. Having found the needed one, she pointed at the illustration describing a Northern-styled embroidery:

"Look here, little bro. See?"

"What? A sewed person," Lionel replied in a half-bored tone, having glanced into the book just not to make her enraged - he firmly knew that making Erfin angry wasn't a good idea, though she was all so skinny and pale.

"A sewed person!" Erfin teased. "That's Scandinavia of Eric the Red-Headed or whoever. Now look - Renaissance." She pointed at the painting describing a group of soldiers. "See? The same person here."

"Erf, you're paranoid. Even now one can find doubles of rich and famous... OW!" Lionel hardly avoided being struck by ANCIENT HISTORY book, not the lightest one in the collection.

"I found him in ten history books on more than fifty illustrations of different times! Is that normal?" Erfin snapped.

"So what? You can't do anything about that!"

"I can't, but you can."

"What?!"

"Don't you remember? You had a magic phone number!"

"Crash and splash, Erf, you're surely bonkers," Lionel sighed.

"Shmonkers! I know one thing: I was kidnapped, then brought back, and you were the reason that never exis-ted..." The final word was said slower than the rest because Erfin got confused, having recalled that.

"Those are three things," Lionel pointed out.

"Oh, forget it." Efrin jumped up and began walking from one corner of the room to another, rubbing her sharp chin. "Smith and-and-and... Cream on? Dream on? Rimmond? Seemond? Come on, come on, Erf, you know that... Jamie, Jamie, Doctor, Doctor..."

"Jamie? Doctor?.."

"What, you read my mind?"

"Seems like I had a dream about them once," Lionel confessed. "Or was it not a dream? Dunno. Perhaps it was a very realistic dream..."

"Stop dilly-dallying, Lionel, tell it!"

"As if all people could time-travel, and you were gone, and I called into the past-time agency which investigated strange cases," Lionel went on. "But that doesn't make any sense, Erf."

"If it made any sense, I wouldn't have been here," Erfin replied and crossed her arms. "Find their phone number. NOW! I know you kept it in any version... or where did you find it?.."

"You're surely nuts..."

"Does that matter that I saw that SEWED guy on the street some days ago? There's something very wrong here. Find it, or I will get your shrunken head for my next birthday!"

"Smith and McCrimmon Investigative Services, Limited," Jamie said into the receiver. "This is McCrimmon speaking."

"I knew that I didn't forget your surname, Jamie!"

Jamie removed the receiver from his ear - the girl's voice from it was a bit too loud. Who would that be? The manner of speaking was horribly familiar, and... But the Doctor made up his mind quicker and took the initiative.

"Hello?"

"Doctor! So that means it's all true! I wouldn't mix you with anybody, old cheater!"

"Finny? Finny Temple?" the Doctor asked, not knowing what to feel - surprise or confusion.

"It's E-R-F-I-N, Doctor! Anyway, are you free now? Right. I have a suspicion that somebody is messing up with history and today too."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I've found the same person on illustrations of several history books, and I've seen him on the streets some time ago," Erfin explained. "Perhaps I'm wrong and it could be you, but..."

"Wait, Finny. Have you spotted the TARDIS anywhere on those illustrations?"

"Never," Erfin replied. "I thought it could be you at first, but there were no blue boxes anywhere. And I have a feeling that something is very wrong here... and he doesn't look like you at all."

"That's a complex question..."

"And he is odd," Erfin continued. "I doubt that any human beings can have white eyes. And appear in various times... Why did I say that?"

"Oh gods. One half of me is feeling extremely stupid," Erfin grunted after the talk was over.

"And what about the other half?" Lionel wondered.

Erfin shrugged.

"The phone number worked. I wouldn't forget those voices in eternity... Let's make a bet, little brother. If you're right and it doesn't matter, I'll buy you a whole Artemis Fowl series. And if I'm right... you'll buy me a Sherlock DVD double pack!"

"Loo-serrrr," Lionel droned.

And right after the handshake both heard a suspicious sound which was like nothing they had ever heard. Older - younger, one - nil, Erfin thought.