Tony has an unexplainable way of getting himself into trouble. It could be because he was Iron Man, and he went directly to the trouble, but Pepper was sure that wasn't the main reason. It was most likely because he was Tony Stark, and the trouble found him.
And this time, Tony's got himself in one fucking hell of a heap of trouble.
And apparently he's got himself one phone call too, which means just the one.
So he had to make it count.
...
"Hello?" Tony could hear the tiredness in her voice, he had obviously woken her.
"Potts, excellent."
"It's three in the morning, Tony, what the hell do you want?" Tony heard something crash on the other end of the phone.
"Shit," Pepper murmured.
"You okay?"
"What have you done this time?" Pepper's voice sounded strained.
"Why do you automatically assume that I've done something? How do you know I didn't just want to hear your voice?" Tony sighed and looked around him, taking into account the texture of the dirty, barren walls, and the length of the vertical bars making up the detention cells circling him. He clutched the phone a little tighter in his hand.
"Again, Tony, it's three in the morning. I don't think so."
"But you wouldn't completely doubt it, now, would you?"
"Please, Tony, you're calling me collect. If you keep avoiding the point, I'm sending you the bill," Tony can hear the direct threat in her tired voice. He knew that the amount of her monthly phone bill wasn't the reason for her annoyance, so he didn't say anything.
"Where are you, Tony?"
"It's actually funny that you asked where-"
"Two twenty-five per minute, Tony."
Tony's palms are sweaty as he can't help but fathom the wonders of what kinds of bacteria are on the phone he is holding. He doesn't like germs.
Jeering is heard in the background of where Tony stood, followed by the rattle of a nightstick on the metal bars as silence is put into effect.
"Are you in jail?"
"See? Look how smart you are."
"Have you called Rhodey? Couldn't he pull some governmental strings and such?" Pepper didn't even bother asking why or how he had been incarcerated. Knowing Tony, it was something extremely, extremely, stupid.
"Rhodey is... Here. He's here. With me. Here," Tony puts his face in his free hand.
Pepper let out an extremely long, heavy sigh, which tells Tony that she doesn't need anymore details to imagine James Rhodes in his current predicament.
"Where are you?"
Tony rubbed his forehead, wracking his brain to remember.
"Cancun?" His voice sounded confused.
"Mexico?" Pepper tried to keep her voice calm.
"Yeah.. Long story."
Pepper doesn't say anything for a moment, before she replies in an extremely flat, monotone voice, that Tony wouldn't have even imagined himself using. "Call me back at a more humane hour, and I'll consider making some calls."
"But I only get the one phone call," Tony's voice sounded both worried and puzzled.
"Use Rhodey's."
And with that, she hung up.
The dial tone reminded Tony just exactly what he loves about Pepper Potts - she drives him fucking insane.
...
A/N: Eeeeeeeee. Yeah. This is what you get, you're welcome. It's just a one-shot for now, unless I actually decide to continue it.. So, enjoy. And reviews make me happy.