Requested: Domestic!AU Prompt 12: Having to put up holiday decorations together after a big fight.
Rated T
There are two types of anger: dry and wet. Dry anger manifests as silence, in the distance a person places between themselves and someone else, and so on. Wet anger on the other hand, makes itself known through tears, raised voices, and words being said that are more often than not regretted later.
Delphine's anger had always presented dryly, whereas Cosima possessed a very wet anger. In the beginning of the relationship, the couple had decided that anything they could not agree on would be discussed in a diplomatic and healthy manner. A promise had also been made between the two of them that going to bed angry with each other was not an option. For the most part, these two rules had governed their arguments and helped them come to conclusions when decisions became tough.
Having taken over DYAD once Rachel and all of her subordinates were removed from the picture, Delphine had completely brought to light all of the wrongdoings of the organization against her advisors' wishes. Although it was expected for funding to come to a halt and for the facility to be shut down permenantly, Delphine received an outpouring of both moral and financial support from the scientific community. This, along with many legal trials and tribulations, jumpstarted the DYAD institute and a multitude of cutting-edge research techniques.
While Delphine maintained her new-found position at DYAD, Cosima chose not to return for the sake of her own sanity. Although Delphine was now the head of the facility and Cosima trusted her with that, she knew she would never be able to work with DYAD comfortably again. Instead, she went back to school in order to finish the degree she was forced put on hold when she first got involved with the institute.
When the last day at university came to a close for Christmas break, Cosima left the school determined to have the apartment decorated for Christmas by the end of the week. Growing up, Cosima's family was never religious but always participated in Christmas festivities, the entire house completely decorated by the first week in December. This was the latest in the month Cosima had ever waited to decorate for the holidays, which gave her extra motivation to finish the job as soon as possible.
Knowing that Delphine would not make it home until later that evening, Cosima took it upon herself to make a trip to the couple's shared storage unit and retrieve all of the Christmas decorations they collectively shared. She also made a few stops at department stores for extra ornaments, candy canes, and surprises for Kira before finally going back to the apartment.
When she shuffled through the door, arms loaded down with Christmas decor, Cosima called out Delphine's name to see if the blonde had made it home yet. They hadn't decorated for Christmas together before, and Cosima was secretly excited to be able to mark another task off of her "domestic" bucket list. Hearing no reply, Cosima dropped the contents in her arms onto the dining room table and pulled her cell phone from her coat pocket.
C: Hey, Del. Just wondering when you were coming home – I have christmas decorations! :D
Cosima smiled and placed her phone on the table with the Christmas goodies and left the dining room to hang her coat and retrieve a bottle of red wine from the kitchen. Upon returning, now nursing a glass of red wine in one hand, she picked up her phone with the other to read the reply she had received.
D: I'm sorry, chérie, I won't leave for another hour or two. The holiday party is tomorrow and therefore my Wednesday meetings have run behind all afternoon.
Cosima sighed and sent her reply before moving to the bedroom.
C: It's cool! I'll wait to decorate with you :) Don't forget that we're having our own holiday party Friday evening with my family!
Slipping beneath the duvet on the bed, Cosima felt her phone vibrate once more.
D: Of course I could not forget. I cannot wait to decorate with you. Get some rest, mon amour. J'taime.
C: I love you :)
Cosima placed her phone and her glasses on the bedside table and switched off the lamp, pulling the covers up to her chin. She pulled Delphine's pillow to her chest and breathed deeply, a practice she had only recently adopted when Delphine was forced to put in extra hours at the institute. Cosima closed her eyes and let the scent of Delphine envelop her as she drifted to sleep.
Cosima awakens to the dim light coming from the jarred door of the bathroom. She smiles to herself and returns Delphine's pillow to the spot behind her, knowing that the blonde would join her shortly. Cosima had begun to doze once more when she felt the bed dip behind her, an arm snaking its way around her waist and a warm body pressing against hers. She felt a pair of lips press behind her ear, the warm breath tickling her when Delphine whispered, "Bonne nuit, mon amour."
Cosima slept in the next morning, taking full advantage of the fact that she did not have to be in class. Delphine had already left for work, so Cosima lounged in bed and made a mental list of things that needed to be done before the sestras and their families came over for the holiday party the next day.
Cosima spent most of the day tidying up the apartment so that the couple could decorate together when Delphine returned from her Christmas party at the office. She had just finished filling Kira's Christmas stocking with goodies and hanging it by the window when she heard the open and close of the front door. Cosima could hear Delphine's heels click against the hardwood floors as she swiftly made her way through the apartment, Cosima presumed to dress quickly for her office party.
"Chérie, have you seen my black diamond earrings?" Delphine called from the bedroom. Cosima rolled her eyes and grinned, wandering to the coffee table where the blonde had removed the jewelry on Monday night. She picked them up and made her way to the bedroom where Delphine was zipping up her dress in front of the mirror.
Cosima outstretched her hand and Delphine turned with a surprised look on her face. "Merci," Delphine spoke, taking the jewelry from Cosima and turning back to face the mirror. "Try and hurry, ma chérie, or else we'll be late!" After securing the clasps of the earrings to her ear lobes, Delphine turned and hurried into the bathroom to touch up her makeup. In her rush, she missed the look of confusion that had taken residence on Cosima's face.
"What?" Cosima questioned, following her lover to the en suite bathroom.
"The party," Delphine reminded her. "The holiday party at my office. It starts in an hour," she continued, unaware of Cosima lingering in the doorway of the bathroom.
Cosima stood in shock, choosing her words carefully before she spoke. "Del, I'm not going to DYAD," she said carefully, watching the blonde's face for a reaction.
Delphine snapped to attention as she heard Cosima's refusal. "What?" she questioned, a bewildered expression on her face. "But I told you about it yesterday. Why didn't you tell me then that you didn't want to come?"
"I didn't know that you expected me to go with you," Cosima started, straightening her spine and crossing her arms over her chest.
Delphine noticed the change in Cosima's body language, but kept pressing onward. "Of course I want you to come with me," Delphine huffed. "After talking yesterday I told my subordinates that you would be attending. They're all expecting us, Cosima."
"Think of what you're asking me to do, Delphine!" Cosima raised her voice. "It's not as easy as merely deciding to go back to the place that almost cost me my life!"
"It's not the same as it was, Cosima," Delphine argued. "Many changes have been made. None of the people that were employed have positions at DYAD now. I would not want you to come with me if I thought that there was a reason to fear."
Cosima scoffed at Delphine's words, not taking into account how her own response would sound as it escaped her lips. "You still don't get it, do you?" Cosima started, a bite in her tone. "DYAD haunts me, Delphine! The thought alone of walking through those doors makes me feel like I can't breathe again."
Cosima saw the surprise on Delphine's face at her outburst, but continued. "You may be fine with working for DYAD. You may be fine going back there every day, and you may even be fine with the fact that they are the ones responsible for almost killing me. But I'm not, and I sure as hell never will be."
Cosima saw the pained look that crossed Delphine's features before the blonde's neutral facial expression took over to mask her true emotions. Only a moment after the words had left her mouth, Cosima felt the regret wash over her like a tidal wave.
Cosima closed her eyes and sighed, "Delphine–
"Non," Delphine interrupted. Eyes falling to the vanity in front of her, Delphine quickly began to put away the contents of her makeup bag before slipping past Cosima into the bedroom.
Cosima stayed where she was, following Delphine with her eyes as the blonde slipped into her heels and picked up her purse. Cosima didn't try to speak as Delphine made her way to the bedroom door. Before exiting the room, Delphine paused and let her hand rest on the doorknob. "Goodnight, Cosima," she said softly, and pulled the door shut behind her. A few seconds later Cosima heard the front door shut with a 'click.'
Cosima padded to the bed and took a seat, resting her forehead on her knees. Thinking back in her mind, she realized that she hadn't screamed at Delphine like that since she found out the French woman was her monitor.
She knew she had gone too far. She also knew that she hadn't meant any of the words she'd thrown at Delphine. Her girlfriend's job had made countless opportunities available to them, and she trusted that Delphine would have severed ties with DYAD long ago if the company still posed any sort of threat to Cosima or her sisters. "Shit," Cosima murmured to herself, using her fingertips to rub her eyes.
Delphine finally walked back through the door of the apartment around 11PM, slipping out of her heels and coat before beginning to move through the apartment toward the bedroom. Cosima was sitting in the floor next to the couch, and had gone unnoticed by the blonde until she quietly spoke, "Hi."
Delphine started at the sound of her voice and looked up, not expecting Cosima to be in the living room. She quickly looked to the floor, but not quickly enough for her red-rimmed eyes to go unnoticed by Cosima. Though she willed it to cooperate, she could do nothing to disguise the raspiness of her voice.
"Hello, Cosima." Delphine felt as if she were frozen where she stood, waiting for Cosima to speak again. She heard the brunette take a deep breath before asking softly, "Would you please help me decorate for the party tomorrow?"
Cosima knew what she was asking wasn't fair, especially after the way she had treated Delphine at her request to accompany her to the party at DYAD. Nonetheless, it was their first Christmas together in this apartment, and she couldn't bring herself to decorate while Delphine had been gone.
Delphine felt a bit of tension leave her shoulders at Cosima's request. "Oui," she agreed. "I'm going to change and then I will be ready." Delphine continued to the bedroom and heard Cosima give a quiet 'Okay' over her shoulder. She took her time changing out of her dress and into a pair of shorts and a sweater. She removed her makeup and pulled the pins from her hair, finally deciding she was ready to return to the living room.
When Delphine emerged from the bedroom, she realized that Cosima had put together the artificial Christmas tree while she had been at the party. The boxes of ornaments were in a neat pile on the floor next to the tree, among them a few boxes of candy canes and new twinkling lights.
"What would you like to do first?" Delphine asked.
"Um, I already hung Kira's stocking, but I saved ours for when you got back; and I have no idea how you want the dining table set, so I have all of the decor and place settings out so you can distribute them the way you like," Cosima said, her words a quick ramble. Delphine nodded her head and gave a quiet 'hmm' in acknowledgement.
"But," Cosima added, "I would really like to decorate the tree first. If you want?" Delphine made eye contact with Cosima for the first time since she'd arrived home, and she saw Cosima gazing back at her hopefully.
Delphine forced a grin and nodded her head in agreement. "Okay," Cosima said, forcing a grin of her own.
They decorated in silence, time passing slowly due to the unspoken words and palpable tension between the two of them. Delphine padded in circles around the tree to wrap the Christmas lights around the branches while Cosima hung brightly colored ornaments and striped candy canes in the spaces between. Once the tree was adequately lit, Delphine moved around it, fluffing the branches and tweaking the work Cosima had done.
While Delphine was adjusting an ornament that was out of place on the Christmas tree, she caught a glimpse of Cosima out of the corner of her eye. Turning her head to face the brunette, she saw a frustrated Cosima, stretching her arm above her head and standing on her toes to place the angel on top of the tree.
With a sigh, Delphine took a step toward her and reached out, gently taking the angel from Cosima's outstretched hand. She used her other hand to smooth the angel's hair and adjust the wings. The tree topper was a French antique, having been passed down from her great grand-mére, to her grand-mére, to her mother, and now it belonged to Delphine.
Cosima watched Delphine handle the angel gently before turning her eyes to the top of the tree and reaching to nestle the angel in the pine needles on top. Only then did Cosima see the tear on Delphine's cheek, glistening from the twinkling lights among the branches.
Cosima felt her heart clench in her chest at the sight of that single tear. When Delphine withdrew her hand, Cosima placed her own on Delphine's arm. When Delphine's head dropped and she used the back of her hand to wipe at her face, Cosima tightened the grip on her arm and pulled the blonde to her before wrapping her arms around Delphine's waist.
"I didn't mean it," Cosima spoke into her neck, resting her forehead against Delphine's shoulder. "I didn't mean any of it, and I'm sorry."
She felt Delphine relax beneath her and use her own arms to pull Cosima closer.
"Chérie, if you feel remotely close to any of the things you said–
"I don't," Cosima stopped her and pulled away enough to be able to look into her eyes. "I don't feel any of those things, Delphine. I was caught of guard, and I became defensive because of it." Delphine was worrying her lip between her teeth and looking into Cosima's eyes as the brunette reassured her.
"I know that you would never put me in a compromising situation," Cosima continued, tightening her grip around Delphine's waist. "I had no reason to act the way I did. Please forgive me?" Cosima asked.
Delphine saw only sincerity in Cosima's eyes as she spoke. She reached up and wiped at Delphine's cheeks, allowing her hand to rest above the blonde's heart once she had finished. In answer to her question, Delphine laced her own fingers around her girlfriends neck and leaned forward to place her lips against Cosima's.
Thank you so much for reading! If you have any prompt suggestions/recommendations at all, visit my tumblr and submit what you would like for me to write next! Reviews are wonderful and greatly appreciated :)