One day in StupidElizabeth Land, Elizabeth Swann sat brooding over
the pimple on her forehead. A little ways away, laid Mount Doom where
Sauron lived. Sauron was very lonely since he was reduced to a giant eye.
There was not enough Visine in Middle Earth to stop this terrible eye
infection he had. No one cared for him.
Elizabeth had just dueled with a flying toaster and was very worn out. She decided that she would take a walk on the "veranda." So she was walking on the "veranda" when she spied a hunky huge (I mean really huge) eye all by itself on the top of a huge black tower.
"Oh! That studly eye! I fall to my knees and worship it."
So Elizabeth, being the dolt she was, journeyed to Mount Doom and climbed atop the tower to Sauron.
"OH TAKE ME!" Elizabeth yelled to Sauron. Well, Sauron doesn't have a mouth since he's a huge eye so he started batting his lashes at her in Morse code.
"L-E-T-S-M-A-T-E"
"OKAY!" So Elizabeth and Sauron skipped off together even though it was more like Elizabeth skipping along with a huge eye following her. They spent the night sitting in her bedroom discussing love and poetry. Sauron finally admitted he had gay tendencies. Elizabeth rubbed his eye with cool water so the infection went away. Elizabeth lay on the bed in her corset. Sauron, uh floated toward her. She felt a shiver go down her spine. When he kissed her for the first time, Elizabeth felt hot and cold at the same time. Like she weighed nothing and everything at the same second. Sauron discarded his cornea and laid down beside her. Their night was filled with heat and passion and burning retinas. When it came time for morning, Elizabeth had admitted that she was part man and had in fact been in a relationship with a donkey a few weeks prior.
"It was nothing serious. He used me. Jackass." In the morning, Sauron told her that he had to go since he needed to go try and dominate Middle Earth.
A few weeks later, Elizabeth returned to Mount Doom. "Why HAVEN"T YOU CALLED? I'm pregnant! It's yours you jerk! UGH!" Nine months later, Elizabeth gave birth to a mutant with one giant eye and the Cyclops was born.
Elizabeth had just dueled with a flying toaster and was very worn out. She decided that she would take a walk on the "veranda." So she was walking on the "veranda" when she spied a hunky huge (I mean really huge) eye all by itself on the top of a huge black tower.
"Oh! That studly eye! I fall to my knees and worship it."
So Elizabeth, being the dolt she was, journeyed to Mount Doom and climbed atop the tower to Sauron.
"OH TAKE ME!" Elizabeth yelled to Sauron. Well, Sauron doesn't have a mouth since he's a huge eye so he started batting his lashes at her in Morse code.
"L-E-T-S-M-A-T-E"
"OKAY!" So Elizabeth and Sauron skipped off together even though it was more like Elizabeth skipping along with a huge eye following her. They spent the night sitting in her bedroom discussing love and poetry. Sauron finally admitted he had gay tendencies. Elizabeth rubbed his eye with cool water so the infection went away. Elizabeth lay on the bed in her corset. Sauron, uh floated toward her. She felt a shiver go down her spine. When he kissed her for the first time, Elizabeth felt hot and cold at the same time. Like she weighed nothing and everything at the same second. Sauron discarded his cornea and laid down beside her. Their night was filled with heat and passion and burning retinas. When it came time for morning, Elizabeth had admitted that she was part man and had in fact been in a relationship with a donkey a few weeks prior.
"It was nothing serious. He used me. Jackass." In the morning, Sauron told her that he had to go since he needed to go try and dominate Middle Earth.
A few weeks later, Elizabeth returned to Mount Doom. "Why HAVEN"T YOU CALLED? I'm pregnant! It's yours you jerk! UGH!" Nine months later, Elizabeth gave birth to a mutant with one giant eye and the Cyclops was born.