This is my first X Files fanfic in about three years. Blame the AMA this morning and the episode Three Words for the forming of this fic because I regret nothing. Ah, it is good to be home.
Dedicated to David, Gillian, and that bed.
Disclaimer: I own nothing and seek to gain no profit
She unlocked the door to his apartment with a sigh; it seemed so unsettling to be there without him - with the knowledge that he was never going to return - but the idea of giving up the space was so upsetting that it made her physically ill on more than one occasion. Though everything seemed to make her ill these days. She toed off her shoes and dropped her bag to the floor as she flicked the light switch.
"Hello fishy," she greeted the inhabitant of the tank as she crossed the room and grabbed the fish food from the shelf. As she bent to feed the fish, her breath caught in her throat at the sight that greeted her - Mulder's beloved fish was dead.
The tears began to fall then - first, just a few and then a full blown sob. She slipped to the floor and pressed a hand to her mouth to muffle the scream that escaped. The stupid fish was dead, floating belly up like a capsized boat. She kicked at the floor and screamed again. "This isn't fair! It's not fair - first Mulder and now that damned fish?"
She let it all go, everything she had been holding inside, with one ghastly wail - the cry of grief she had learned about years ago when they had discussed death during Sunday school. Her hand curled around the bottle of fish food and she chucked it at the wall with all her might, watching as it hit the wall with a thud and exploded causing the flakes to rain down like lackluster confetti.
"Scully?" There was a knock at the door as Walter Skinner poked his head through the doorway. "I got a call from the landlord about some noises - everything alright?"
"The fish died," she explained as a fresh round of tears began to fall. "The stupid fish died!"
"O-kay." Skinner crossed the room and knelt down in front of her. "The fish died?"
"Yes, okay? I couldn't keep the goddamned thing alive!" She wiped angrily at her tears with a huff. "First Mulder and now I'm falling apart over a damned fish. This pregnancy is wreaking havoc on my emotions and John Doggett is an asshole. Then I come home alone and this little miracle keeps dancing on my bladder and I just miss him. I miss him so much I can't function. And I don't want to raise this baby without him! How do I raise this baby without him? What if everything goes wrong? What if I lose this baby too - I've already lost everyone else! And I can't breathe. I'm so tired all the time... I hate this."
"Okay," Skinner agreed. "You've got to take a few deep breaths, Scully. The baby needs you to calm down before I have to take you to the hospital because your blood pressure is through the roof. I'm sure that fish was a billion years old in fish years anyway and Mulder would have laughed if he could see you so upset over the damn thing. Now lets get you to bed and I'll order some dinner and clean up the fish food."
"Sir..."
"Agent, please just let me help you."
She nodded and let out a soft, slow sigh as she let him hoist her off the floor. "Did I really just have a meltdown over a fish?"