I've been working on this a while and just got round to finishing it. Excuse the length, I got a bit carried away and couldn't figure out a good place to split it! Enjoy :)
(P.S. Those of you waiting for Mixtape, I haven't abandoned that, it's on its way!)
Even before they were half way through the day, Serena had regretted taking Bernie's offer of a lift home. Her car was in for service and usually the bus would suffice, but her friend had insisted and she would have felt guilty turning her down. It wasn't that she didn't want to spend time with her out of work - far from it - but still the idea of getting into a car with her, being trapped in that close confined space for almost the hour long it took to get home, seemed too stifling, too vulnerable. Strangely, she always had the feeling of needing to hold herself in tighter control around the trauma medic, like she couldn't trust herself to do anything without careful consideration. She had thought it was just the usual nerves of new friendship, of wanting her respect and care for the other woman to be reciprocated.
But then they had kissed.
She had let go, for only a moment, lost in her dark and lustrous eyes and the feeling of their bodies pressed so close against one another, on the floor of the empty operating theatre. She had allowed herself to glance, momentarily, at her friends lips, and Bernie had recognised it instantly. The longing, the hunger that Serena herself hadn't even been aware of, and still wasn't one-hundred percent sure of even now, was written all over her gaze, and Bernie, in a split second, decided to take a chance. Her only chance.
And Serena had melted. That was the only word for it. The way she had given herself over so freely, fluidly moulding herself to fit the curves of her friend's body as she greedily, avidly dived in to recapture her lips, to taste her and consume her, devour her. Serena's whole body relaxed into her, their legs tangling as they writhed to push themselves as close to one another as possible without going to far, and butterflies swarmed in her stomach like a storm as she felt Bernie's tongue duelling with her own, her fingers tight in her hair and breaths erratic.
Then came a clatter as the theatre team arrived for the next op, and they had torn apart at lightning speed, already flushed cheeks turning scarlet at almost being caught, and avoiding one another's eyes as they dashed out of theatre without a word.
Serena had actively avoided the other woman for the remainder of the day, her head spinning with the potential consequences of what she had done. Was this the end for them? She didn't know if she could cope without her. Bernie had become such a large part of her life over the past few months, both as a friend and colleague, and for them to be on bad terms would be unbearable, particularly with the trauma unit to run together. Then there was Jason and how much of a help she'd been with him. He was so used to her now, in his daily routine, coming to Albies with them or giving him a lift home when Serena had to work late. It would be such an upset for him. And for her. She loved having her around all the time. She loved the life she shared with her, from the arguments over patient care to their 'dream team' dynamic to the little shy glances they offered one another over the rims of their wine glasses when they were drunk and their legs touched under the table; she wouldn't be without any of it for love nor money. But did she love Bernie?
She was broken out of her thoughts by the sight of her friend standing just outside the double doors at the entrance to the hospital, cigarette balanced expertly between two slender fingers as she took a long drag, swirls of smoke circling her figure before dissipating into the air. Serena felt as though the breath had been knocked from her chest. She was beautiful - a fact she could never deny - and Serena's heart soared in her company, making her feel elated and free. To tell the truth, Serena knew she spent too much time thinking about the army medic and how it would feel to have her in her arms, how her lips would feel against her own. It was probably the reason she was so keen to touch her all the time, to feel the warmth of her skin through her scrubs and feel that intimacy with her. Was that really normal of a friendship?
"Hi." Bernie smiled warmly at her as she spotted her, though there was worry behind her eyes. "Do you still need a lift?"
Serena hesitated. Should she say no and avoid the awkwardness? Or would that turn out to be more detrimental, denying them a chance to break the ice? She decided on the latter, and accepted the offer with a short nod.
"I'm going to go down the M1 tonight," Bernie told her as they walked to the car. "It'll take ten minutes longer, but it'll beat the traffic with that junction closed on the A1."
"Of course," Serena agreed. "Whichever you feel is best." She had a feeling that Bernie was trying to start a conversation to ease the awkwardness, but words seemed to fail her, her mind still stuck on the feeling of their lips moving together, and so the journey began mostly in silence, only the radio providing some sort of backdrop to their racing brains. All Serena could think about was how close she was, less than an arm's reach away, and how easy it would be to touch her, offer her a warm squeeze of the arm to let her know they were okay. Or to rest her hand on her thigh, as she had longed to allow herself to do earlier…
Her daydreams were interrupted by a police siren shooting past them as Bernie pulled to the side of the road, on the roundabout for the M1. It jerked onto the southbound slip road, then raced out of sight.
"Look's urgent," Serena observed lightly, casting a short glance to her friend, now slowed at the traffic lights before the turn off. "Maybe we should try another route."
Bernie shook her head. "It'll be nothing." The traffic lights flashed green, and she turned onto the slip road. "One police car, that's all."
As if in response to her words, two more cut past them onto the motorway, joining the ambulance already speeding down the road.
Serena turned to look at her, an eyebrow raised. "One police car?" She said mockingly. "I'm starting to lose count!"
"Don't be melodramatic," Bernie rolled her eyes, speeding across the motorway and straight into the fast lane. She hesitated. "Have a look on your phone and see if anything's up."
Serena smirked in small victory over the older woman, leaning across to grab her handbag from the back seat.
"Shit."
The car jerked violently as the traffic came to a sudden halt in front of them. Bernie's sharp military reflexes sprang into action as she simultaneously slammed the brakes and quickly pressed her hazard lights to alert the cars behind them, and soon they were completely still on the road.
"I have no service," Serena sighed, tossing her phone back into her bag. "But I think it's safe to say something has happened."
"You're not kidding," Bernie replied sarcastically, pulling up the handbrake before retrieving her own phone from her coat. "I haven't got any data left either."
"Brilliant," Serena sighed, resting her elbow on the windowsill and rubbing her forehead restlessly. "So what now?"
"What can we do?" Bernie replied, mirroring Serena's tired body language. "I'm sure it'll move quick enough."
Serena chuckled cynically. "Famous last words."
Bernie shot her a fond smile back, heart racing as she wondered just how long they could possibly stay here for, and how she could possibly refrain from spilling too much of her feelings, should conversation of the kiss arise.
"Now, travel news just in and it looks like if you're travelling on the M1 southbound tonight, you might want to try a different route as reports suggest a major incident involving a bus, van and three cars just before junction two. Traffic seems to be moving up to junction four as many drivers are choosing to turn off there but the road is closed fully at the site of the accident to make way for an air ambulance, so those stuck between junctions four and two could be looking at a long wait..."
Both women groaned simultaneously.
"And who's bright idea was it to come this way?" Serena chided, running a hand over her face. "'It'll only take ten minutes longer', my arse!"
"How was I supposed to know this would happen?" Bernie shot back, fishing around in her coat pockets for her cigarettes. "I'm not psychic."
"More's the bloody pity," Serena muttered to herself.
"What?"
"Nothing," she said quickly, clearing her throat. "I hope you're not planning on smoking those in here."
"Oh, what's a bit of second-hand smoke between friends?" Bernie replied with a sarcastic smile. Serena stared at her. "I'm going outside, don't worry. Keep your hair on."
She pushed open the car door as Serena scowled at her, a large huff of breath escaping her lips. Why was she being so irritable? It was as though Bernie's every action were calculated to wind her up, to grind on her nerves. Though that wasn't it, not really. She was trying to push her away, as far away as possible. The further she could distance herself from Berenice Wolfe, the further she could distance herself from her feelings.
However, that was proving to be quite a difficult task, seeing as they were stuck on the motorway together for the foreseeable future, only separated by the gearbox in Bernie's pokey convertible.
And then there was the fact that her arse was directly in Serena's line of sight as she climbed from the car.
Serena's eyes seemed to have frosted over, focused only on the tight fabric and visions of what lay beneath, how it would feel beneath her fingertips, beneath her lips…
"Serena?"
She jerked from her thoughts, realising suddenly that Bernie had poked her head back inside the car and was now talking to her.
"Sorry, what?" She cringed inwardly, wondering if her friend had noticed she was staring and fighting a blush that was threatening to creep into her cheeks.
"Jason's calling." She held out her phone to Serena, whose expression quickly turned to one of worry as she remembered her nephew's tight routine.
"Oh God, he'll be going spare," she fretted, taking the phone from the other woman and mouthing a quick 'thank you' as Jason began rambling about his fish and chips.
As she reasoned with her nephew her eyes followed Bernie, hair flapping in the gentle summer breeze as she walked between cars, craning her neck to get a better view of how far the traffic extended ahead.
"There's money for your fish and chips next to the fridge," she instructed finally, after calming him down a bit. "I'll be back as soon as I can."
She hung up the phone, frowning to herself as she saw Jason's name lit up on the screen. How did she have is number? Why did she have his number?
Her thoughts were interrupted as she saw Bernie talking to a small boy, about ten years old, carrying a small sandwich box between two cars in front of them. He was beaming up at her, an excited grin on his face as he nodded, and Serena thought she heard Bernie saying something about the accident to him.
Then, with two hands on either side of the boy's waist, she lifted him effortlessly high into the air.
"Can you see anything?"
"No."
"What on earth are you doing with my son?!"
Serena put her head into her hands with a low groan.
"It's okay, I'm a doctor."
"I don't care who you are!"
Serena allowed herself to look up through a crack in her fingers, second-hand embarrassment twisting in her stomach as she watched the woman lead the child away and saw Bernie's confused expression walking back to the car.
"I don't know what her problem was," she huffed, slamming the door shut behind her. "She's letting her kid wander about on a busy motorway and then she tries to lecture me about safety!"
Serena didn't know what to say to that, simply gaping at her friend in bewilderment. She was definitely in for a long night.
"What?" Bernie asked, blinking in confusion as she noticed the other woman staring at her.
Serena started. "Nothing," she said quickly, mentally shaking herself and clearing her throat.
Bernie narrowed her eyes slightly, as if in scrutiny as Serena squirmed under her intense gaze. Serena hated it when she looked at her like that, as though she could see her entire soul. Well, 'hated' wasn't exactly the right word. It infuriated her, yes, but at the same time the feeling of being so vulnerable around the older woman and the depth of the connection she felt to her as their eyes locked was so deliciously dangerous, teetering on the very edge of friendship. It was like the moment before their lips had met, the split second in which her brain had registered, I am going to kiss my best friend. That threshold, the fine line waiting to be crossed with no going back, was always painfully prominent, every time she met her eyes like this. But this time there was something new accompanying the butterflies.
She wanted to kiss her again.
She could feel herself drawn to her, as if gravity had shifted and she was now being pulled to her. Her heart hammered, mouth watering and stomach clenching with restraint. But her lips, oh her lips... So warm and inviting, soft, tobacco-laced and perhaps still even carrying a hint of the taste of her own from earlier in the day. She remembered how it had felt, Bernie's tongue slipping past her own and gliding along the inside of her mouth...
The sound of a small whimper escaping her lips dragged her back to the present with a sharp jolt, heat immediately rising in her cheeks as she realised her colleague was still staring at her, her eyes twinkling knowingly. Shit.
Serena cleared her throat quickly, eyes turning back to the traffic ahead. "This is looking dire," she said lightly, attempting to distract both herself and Bernie from the burning in her cheeks.
"Yes, it is," Bernie replied, amusement lacing her tone in a way that made Serena want to slap her. "Is Jason okay?"
Serena sighed. "Yes, he will be," she replied tiredly. "He wasn't happy at all. Apparently this is the second fish and chips night I've been late for recently."
Bernie smirked. "Well, that bottle of Shiraz in the office wasn't going to drink itself, was it?"
"No, it wasn't." Serena couldn't help but chuckle slightly at the memory. "That was barely fit for human consumption! I was in a terrible state when I got in. God only knows where Ric got that from."
"You were in a terrible state before we'd even finished the bottle." Bernie's smirk grew into a grin. "And then trying to get past Hanssen on the way out..." Her head fell forwards as she laughed, her golden curls covering her face.
"Oh God, don't remind me." Serena covered her face with her hands, her shoulders jerking with the mix of laughter and embarrassment. "There's no way he believed that."
"Well, there was the small giveaway that both of our mouths were dyed purple from the stuff," Bernie pointed out, shaking her head at herself. "God knows what he must have been thinking."
"Yes," Serena replied, taking a steadying breath in an attempt to control her laughter, but one glance across to her friend had her lost again as she saw the memory in the other woman's eyes.
"Anyway," she began, finally composing herself. "How did he get your number?"
Bernie cleared her throat with a small chuckle. "Ah, he cornered me in the hospital a few weeks ago asking for it. He said that every time he couldn't get a hold of you it was because you were with me and that that meant he should have my phone number too, which is fair enough, I suppose."
Serena nodded. "You two get on quite well together, don't you," she smiled to herself fondly. "Sometimes I think he prefers you to me."
"Don't be daft," Bernie replied, with an air of amusement. "It's just you're the strict auntie and I'm the fun one who tells him stories about tanks and let's him play with the blood pressure machine." She smirked at her.
Serena looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "You make us sound like his parents," she teased, before immediately realising the implication of her words and clearing her throat, changing the subject.
"Let's have Radio Four on," she said quickly, reaching out to change that station. "The Archers will be on in ten minutes."
Bernie laughed. "I can't believe you listen to that," she ridiculed, grinning.
Serena shook her head, attempting not to be embarrassed. "Oh, just shut up and let me listen. It'll pass the time if nothing else."
She couldn't concentrate on a word of it.
"Why don't we play a game?"
"Like what? Snooker?"
"No." Bernie shot her a look, rolling her eyes. "What about… I spy?"
"Brilliant. I'll start. I spy with my little eye, something beginning with 'C'."
Bernie frowned, chewing her lip and looking around them. "Cars?" She answered.
"Correct. Game over."
"Oh come on, be serious!"
"You're the one wanting to play children's games!"
"I'm just trying to think of a way to pass the time better!"
"Well can you just shut up and give me some peace, please! God, if you had just gone through town-"
"How was I supposed to know there'd be an accident! It's you who's being unreasonable!"
"I just…" Serena stopped, letting out a deep breath with a groan. "I just need to get back for Jason. He's going to be beside himself." She lifted her hand up to squeeze the bridge of her nose, her elbow resting on the windowsill.
Bernie closed her eyes, steadying herself. "I'm sorry," she said eventually, looking over at her friend. "He'll be okay, I'm sure. You've spoken to him on the phone and he was alright, wasn't he?"
"He wasn't happy," Serena replied pessimistically, shaking her head.
"He was okay though. He'll survive." She gave her friend a reassuring look, and Serena held her gaze for a few moments before relaxing slightly.
"I suppose you're right," she agreed finally, offering a small smile. "Sorry. I'm in a terrible mood today."
"I think I should be the one apologising for that," she replied slowly, turning her head to look out of the window and tapping her fingers on the steering wheel. "I'm really sorry if I… made you uncomfortable," she said quietly.
Serena stared at her, her heart faltering. No, Bernie shouldn't be apologising for this. It stung her to think that her friend was beating herself up about what had happened. She had initiated the kiss, yes, but it was Serena who had continued it, responded fiercely and hungrily, grasping onto her for dear life. It was Serena who had craved her for the remainder of the day, purposefully distancing herself in order to hide from her feelings because, could she really love a woman? She knew she was being ridiculous. Of course she could love a woman, perhaps she already did, but the gossip that would follow… That, she didn't know if she could cope with.
"You don't have to be sorry," she began, sighing. "It's my fault, I-"
An explosion sounded ahead of them, accompanied by a thick cloud of black smoke.
"God!" Bernie exclaimed, craning her neck. "Do you think that was the crash?"
Serena gaped, staring at the horizon as others began to get out of their cars for a look. "I hope they got everybody out okay," she said, her voice laced with concern.
Bernie glanced at her watch. "It's been an hour and a half; they must have done."
Serena sighed heavily. "We are going to be here hours."
"Do you think if we say we're doctors people will let us through?"
"What, four miles worth of people?" Serena queried, her eyes never leaving the mass of cars in front. Three and a quarter hours into their journey; still no movement. The bright summer sky was fast fading into darkness, and lethargy had begun to set in.
Bernie sighed heavily. "Good point." She drummed her fingertips on the steering wheel. "God, do I need a drink after this."
Serena allowed a tired smile to spread across her lips. "Make mine a double."
"You can say that again," she replied, shaking her head as she glanced at her watch. "I've got some water in the boot, actually," she remembered, sitting up straighter. "I did my shopping at lunch time. Do you want any?"
Serena nodded. "If you're sure you don't mind."
As she exited the car, Serena thought about all the aspects of her friend that were unknown to her. Something as little as her going food shopping sparked images in her mind of them going together, talking about what they were going to have for tea, bickering over whose fault it was that they couldn't find the car, maybe even sometimes taking Jason with them. With a jolt she realised that her feelings did run deeper than a little infatuation, brought on by Bernie's ill-timed kiss. She longed to do these things with her, the little domestic things that you only did with the person you were closest to in the world. She wanted everything, right down to the long, sticky days in bed when both of them were ill. The arguments, the lows, the dramas, all seemed worth it. They were worth it. But did Bernie want the same?
She was snapped out of her musings by the car door opening and a bag of Quavers landing in her lap.
"Here," she said as she sat down, passing Serena a bottle of water. "It's a bit warm, but if you're thirsty…" Serena took it from her, screwing the top off and taking a sip as she watched her friend take big gulps from her own.
"How did you manage to get to the shops on your lunch hour?" Serena asked lightly when the silence seemed to stretch just a little too long for comfort. "I can barely make it to the canteen on a good day, never mind to the shops."
She laughed. "It's amazing how much you can fit in when you're avoiding someone," she replied, raising her eyebrows teasingly. Serena shook her head.
"I wondered how I managed to stay away from you so easily," Serena joked, a smirk playing with her lips. "I usually can't get rid of you. It was nice to have the peace and quiet."
Bernie feigned offence. "Charming!" She scoffed, screwing up her crips packet and chucking it in the back seat. "I'll just have to bugger off on a lunchtime more often then."
"It's the least you could do. That, and bring me back a sandwich when you're done," Serena flirted, casting a glance over at her friend, who was smiling at her in amusement.
"Chicken salad, brown bread, extra mayo?" She raised an eyebrow.
Serena laughed. "You know me so well."
"What can I say?" Bernie gazed at her with warm eyes. "You've captured my attention."
Serena stilled, meeting her eyes as her stomach flipped. What does she want?! Her mind screamed. It was infuriating, trying to figure out just where their relationship lay. One minute Bernie seemed to retract her actions, the next she seemed to be actively flirting with her. It was driving Serena insane. She had to ask her.
"Bernie, I-"
"TRAVEL"
The radio lit up suddenly with the travel alert, making both of them jump.
"Sorry," Bernie apologised, reaching out to turn down the volume. "I never can figure out how to turn these things off.
Serena opened her mouth to continue, but as Bernie listened intently for an update she realised the moment had passed.
"Okay, now, traffic on the M1 southbound is still at a standstill I'm afraid, but the police have confirmed that they are beginning to clear the road, though it could still take up to another hour or so as there is a lot of debris around after one of the cars involved in the crash caught fire…"
She sighed, running a hand over her face and praying for home.
"Nineteen eighty-four."
"No, it's definitely earlier than that. Seventy-nine, I'd say."
"No, this is one of his later ones."
"Never."
"I remember it, it was in the charts at the same time as Careless Whisper. Eighty-four."
"Could have been a re-entry."
"Now, that was the 'wonderful' Stevie Wonder with 'I Just Called To Say I Love You', number one for six weeks in the UK starting September 1984…"
"Ha!" Serena exclaimed in victory. Bernie shook her head with a smirk, turning to face the window.
"I'm still in the lead."
"No you're not, we're neck-and-neck," Serena replied happily, turning the radio up a notch for the next song.
I would take the stars
Out of the sky for you
Stop the rain from falling
If you asked me to
"Nineteen seventy-six!" They both blurted out simultaneously.
"I got that first."
"No chance."
"June."
"We never said months!"
"It's a tie breaker."
Bernie opened her mouth to protest, but decided she would be fighting a losing battle against the fiercely competitive brunette, so simply sighed heavily. "Fine."
Serena chuckled victoriously. "I used to love this song."
"Me too," Bernie replied with a faint smile, casting a glance over at her friend, who was now quietly mouthing along.
You give me just
A taste of love to
Build my hopes upon
You know you got
The power girl
To keep me holding on
So now you got
The best of me
Come on and
Take the rest of me
Oh baby
Their eyes met over the lyrics, and Serena dared to hold her gaze, still mouthing the words as Bernie now joined.
If it takes forever girl then
I'm prepared to wait
The day you give your love to me
Won't be a day too late
Butterflies fluttered in her stomach, her heart quivering and her mouth drying. It was now entirely dark around them, but for the red glow of the rear lights on the car in front of them. Bernie's silhouette was illuminated exquisitely, her eyes twinkling in the light as they met with Serena's, her lips inviting as they moved.
So now you got
The best of me
Come on and
Take the rest of me
Oh baby
The song finished and the announcer confirmed the date of the song, but neither were listening any longer. Instead, their eyes searched one another, communicating a thousand words, a thousand questions, a thousand concerns. Fear, hope and love all flitted across their vision as they gazed at each other, trying desperately to figure out just what it was that the other wanted. Did they both want the same thing? Did they both even know what they wanted? Serena decided to take a leap.
"You know," she said gently, her voice sudden against the silence. "I read a study, once, that said that if you were to stare into the eyes of a person for more than four minutes, the chances were that you would fall in love with them."
Bernie smiled softly. "I don't know how reliable that is."
"It's an interesting thought though, isn't it?" Serena murmured.
"I suppose it is," Bernie agreed, her gaze flitting down to Serena's lips as she spoke before quickly returning to her eyes. She cleared her throat quietly. "I don't think I'd be the most suited test subject, though."
"How so?"
The corners of her mouth lifted almost shyly, her eyes seeming to sparkle just a little brighter as she whispered, "I think I'm already fallen."
Serena let out a deep, shaky breath that she hadn't realised she'd been holding, her eyes feeling watery as she took in her friend's words and realised that she felt the same. All these weeks, months, of being drawn to her, of waking up every morning and being excited to go to work, just because it meant spending time with her, of wanting to spend every moment with her, all amounted to this; she had fallen deeply, undeniably in love with her best friend, the woman who never failed to lift her spirits and brighten up her day, the woman who even when they were at their worst, made her happier than she could remember being for years. She loved her, and finally she could admit it.
She reached her hand over the gearbox to find Bernie's, interlinking their fingers and running her thumb gently over her knuckles as she savoured the feeling of their hands together for the first time. Even just this little touch ignited something within her, making her knees weak and her breath shaky. She longed to touch her, to feel her skin beneath her fingertips, against her own. She longed to run her fingers through her hair, oh her hair… Those soft golden curls that she felt dizzy just thinking about, never mind actually being able to touch them, to inhale the sweet scent of her shampoo and a hundred other things that made the fragrance that was just her and nothing else. And then there was her lips.
Her lips.
Soft and warm and delicious and mere inches from hers, so close that she could feel her warm breaths against her cheeks. Has they always been sat this close, or was it that they were inching forwards, gravitating towards one another unconsciously? The air suddenly felt suffocating, her heart hammering and her breathing shallow as she moved in closer, her gaze flitting between Bernie's eyes and her lips as she edged closer and closer, so close that her vision blurred and her colleague's ragged breaths sounded in her ears.
Gently, she allowed her lips to brush against the other woman's, so gently that it was just a faint tickle more than anything, but still this was enough to elicit a sharp intake of breath from both of them. Serena rested their foreheads together, suddenly feeling the need to catch her breath. Her fingertips were shaky as she disentangled them from Bernie's, lifting them up to caress her cheek. Bernie placed a gentle kiss to the pad of Serena's thumb as she smoothed it over her lips, and Serena smiled.
"I've been wanting to do this all day," she whispered.
Bernie let out an elated laugh. "I think that makes two of us."
Serena grinned, allowing her eyes to flutter closed as she savoured the feeling of their foreheads together, and finally, slowly leant in to capture her lips in a tender kiss.
BEEP. BEEP.
They jerked apart as a car horn sounded behind them and realised that the traffic in front had begun to move.
"Shit," Bernie murmured, quickly turning to switch on the engine as Serena fastened her seatbelt, and before she knew it they were speeding past the crash site. They didn't speak for the remainder of the journey, both too absorbed in thought to maintain a conversation properly, their heartbeats never slowing for the duration.
When they finally pulled up outside Serena's house, she could already see Jason stood in the window, waiting. She sighed.
"I hope he's left me some chips," she muttered as she unfastened her seat belt. Bernie laughed.
"I'm sure they'll deliver, if not," she smiled, glancing at her watch. "Half ten."
Serena smiled. "I imagine they will," she replied, grabbing her back from down at her feet. She looked back up at her friend, meaning to say something to her, but suddenly her mind was blank.
"I…" She stammered, her eyes meeting Bernie's. Bernie gave her a warm smile. Serena really wanted to kiss her, but she was just too conscious of Jason's prying eyes at the window. She nodded shortly. "Well, goodnight. Thanks for the lift," she said eventually, her hand on the door.
Bernie nodded. "You're very welcome," she replied, smiling, but Serena could hear disappointment in her voice. If only Jason would just go away. "Goodnight."
Serena hesitated, her eyes never leaving Bernie's, but then she saw out of the corner of her eye the front door opening and Jason appearing on the threshold.
She opened the car door, getting out with a sigh, sadness filling her heart at their parting. She stopped.
"You know," she began lightly, poking her head back round the door. "There's a very nice bottle of Shiraz Reserve sitting in my kitchen that's not going to drink itself."
Bernie's eyes widened as she looked up at her, her teeth tugging on her lip as she considered, and Serena immediately became aware of the implications of her words. Bernie wouldn't be able to drive home tonight, should she take up her offer. She could see the questioning in her eyes. Did she really mean that?
"After all," Serena continued, fighting to keep her voice even as her stomach jumped, hot anticipation spreading through her body. "I am going to need someone to drive me to the garage tomorrow morning…" Her voice faltered on the last words, her mouth feeling heavy and dry. She felt almost faint, her heart was beating so fast.
She was just about to back away, say goodnight once more, when Bernie, still not breaking eye contact, reached up her hand and switched off the ignition.
Serena's heart stopped, and she held her breath as Bernie swiftly unfastened her seatbelt, leant over to the back seat for her bag, and opened the door.
"Auntie Serena, your chips are going cold!" Jason called as they walked up to the doorway. "And there isn't enough for Dr Bernie!"
"Don't worry about that now, I'll sort it out," Serena told him as he allowed them into the house. "Go and put the oven on for me and I'll warm them up." He nodded, disappearing away down the hall as they both toed off their shoes and hung up their jackets on the rack behind the door.
Suddenly Serena found herself pushed up against the wall with a soft thud as Bernie's lips came crashing down on hers, hot and wet and wanting. As shock subsided and hunger took over, she wrapped her arms tightly around the other woman, her whole body coming alive as she pushed her tongue into her mouth, eliciting a small whimper that went straight to her core, flooding her with heat as their bodies pressed flush against one another.
Then, as quickly as she had pounced on her, Bernie pulled away, clearing her throat before grinning at her.
"Sorry," she murmured, reaching her hand out to gently interlink her fingers with Serena's before giving it a squeeze. "I couldn't resist."
"Well…" Serena breathed, fighting to get her breath back, unable to think past the feeling of her friend's body pressed up against her own.
"Auntie Serena!"
Bernie gave her hand one last squeeze, giving her a quick peck on the cheek before sauntering off down the hallway, leaving Serena to quickly compose herself before following.
"Neither of you are very fast at anything, are you?" He chided as they sheepishly entered the kitchen, sharing a conspiring glance before getting to work on warming up some food and opening a bottle of wine. Jason stayed up with them for a while, chatting away to Bernie, who made a good show of listening intently whilst Serena secretly prayed for eleven o'clock, when he would finally go to bed. She enjoyed it, though, seeing Bernie getting on so well with Jason, almost as though they were a little family… She shook herself mentally for being so presumptuous.
As they moved to the living room, Bernie and Serena sat together on the sofa whilst Jason sat in an armchair, still chatting animatedly about various things he'd heard about being in the army. The sofa on which they had decided to sit was the smaller of the two in Serena's living room, so small that although they both had tucked their legs into themselves, still their feet touched, and every now and then they would brush against one another as one of them shuffled in their seat, sending shivers straight through Serena's body. Was Bernie doing that on purpose? She decided two could play at that game, and so by the time Jason announced that he was going to bed, their legs were practically intertwined, both of them flushed scarlet from restraint.
They waited until they could hear the click of Jason's bedroom door upstairs, before Serena spoke.
"You get on well with Jason, don't you?" She said lightly, swirling the last dregs of Shiraz in her glass absentmindedly.
"Yeah, of course I do," Bernie replied, smiling. "He's a nice lad. I've got a lot of time for him."
"He can be a handful, sometimes," Serena said slowly, glancing up at Bernie over the rim of her glass to gage her reaction to her words, but all she saw there was blind love and affection.
"I imagine he is," she agreed, taking a sip from her glass. "It doesn't mean I'd like him any less, though. It's just a part of who he is." She frowned at Serena. "Did you think I'd-"
"No, no, of course not," Serena interrupted quickly. "I just didn't… You know?"
Bernie swallowed the sip of Shiraz she'd been taking thickly before setting her glass down on the coffee table, her hand reaching over to rest on Serena's knee. She cleared her throat. "Serena," she said softly, looking down at her hand. "I… What I said in the car. Well, implied," she stammered, her forehead creasing. She took a deep breath. "I meant what I said. Nothing could change that." She looked up to meet Serena's eyes, hoping to communicate that she meant every word. And she did. Serena smiled. "Though," Bernie continued, the corners of her mouth turning up in jest. "If you were to come out and say you'd killed someone, I think we'd have to have a conversation about that."
Serena laughed brazenly, draining the remainder of her glass. "A conversation, is that all?" She smirked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, you know me," Bernie teased, her eyes warm and content. "I'll support you through anything. I'd just draw the line at you voting UKIP." She grinned.
"You've no danger there," Serena replied with a chuckle, toying with the stem of her glass. They were silent for a few moments. "You know, what you said in the car," Serena began quietly. "I know it's early days but… I feel the same."
She looked up to see the other woman staring at her penetratingly, her face serious yet managing to be so impossibly bright at the same time, her eyes soft and her lips ever so slightly upturned as they both realised that they were going to make a go of this, and Serena had the slightest inkling that they were made to last.
Eventually, Bernie broke eye contact, shuffling across the sofa towards Serena almost nervously and taking the wine glass from her hands, making sure that their fingertips brushed together in the process, and setting it down on the coffee table in front of them. Serena took a deep breath, her heart pounding as Bernie's hand came up to caress her cheek, her other linking with Serena's on her lap. She felt as though she should say something, really, but as their eyes met again all words were lost to the blind desire coursing through her veins, and all she could do was lean forwards and press her lips against the other woman's in a long, lingering kiss that was entirely unlike the two previously in the day. Their first kiss had been sudden, desperate, unconscious; she hadn't had time to think about what she was doing or how she was feeling, lost in the feeling of their lips together. The second had been hungry, carnal and fleeting, over as quickly as it had begun. This kiss, however, was something new. Bernie's lips were soft against hers, moving slowly and delicately as they found rhythm, and Serena responded with a whimper, her free hand moving to rest on the back of Bernie's neck as she got more confident in her actions, tugging her bottom lip between her teeth before diving back in for a deeper kiss.
After a few minutes, they broke apart, resting their foreheads together as they fought against ragged breaths, both grinning happily.
"I…"
"I know."
They both let out an elated, dizzy laugh as Serena pressed her lips to Bernie's once more, still grinning as she disentangled their fingers and brought her other hand up behind the older woman's neck, giving her move leverage to pull her closer as their kisses became more needy and hungry and she felt her body responding to the feeling of Bernie's against hers. She shifted slightly in her seat to position herself better, her palms smoothing over Bernie's back as she desperately tried for more contact, her nerves alight with the need for her touch. She shivered as Bernie's fingers skimmed across the nape of her neck, sending a hot flush to her cheeks and chest as her hands wandered down her back to her waist, prompting her to arch into her touch with a sharp intake of breath. Bernie took advantage of her little gasp, slipping her tongue past Serena's lips as her hands placed themselves firmly on her hips, pulling her desperately closer.
Serena, feeling the tug of Bernie's hands, took initiative in turning herself round, moving her knees to straddle the older woman on the sofa. Bernie's eyes widened at her actions, her hands unconsciously slipping down to her arse as Serena ducked back down for a wet, open-mouthed kiss, before leaving her lips and moving to her throat, eliciting a low, guttural moan from Bernie as she felt the grazing of Serena's teeth and her hot breaths again her skin. She arched her back as Serena ran the tip of her tongue along her collarbone, her nose nudging at the collar of Bernie's blouse to expose more skin before kissing down the neckline, to the groove between her breasts.
Pausing for any objection, Serena kissed across her blouse, mouthing her breast over the smooth fabric and prompting a gasp from the other woman. Even through her bra, Serena could feel Bernie's nipple hard beneath her lips, focusing her attention there as Bernie writhed beneath her and her hands wandered to the waistband of her jeans, searching for skin.
"Serena," Bernie breathed as the brunette ran her hands beneath her blouse and up her back. Serena hummed against her breast. "Serena, Jason."
Serena stopped, pulling back to face her and listening quietly. Nothing. She gazed into the other woman's eyes, taking in her dilated pupils and flushed cheeks. She looked devastatingly beautiful.
"Bedroom?"
Bernie paused, her hand moving from Serena's behind to link their fingers. "We don't have to…" She murmured, giving her hand a squeeze. "There's no rush. I'd hate to make you uncomfortable-"
"I want to," Serena butted in, feeling Bernie digging herself into that blame complex that she had. When the other woman looked unsure, she leaned forwards, making sure to grind their hips against one another provocatively as she purred in her ear, "I need you. I've needed you all day." She allowed herself a heavy breath, rolling her hips against Bernie's once more. "Or will I just have to take care of myself?"
She smirked as she heard Bernie's breath catch in her throat, and all the other woman could do was nod simply, her eyes raking up and down Serena's body as she stood and held a hand out to her. She took it, never letting go as they climbed the stairs with shaky legs, trying their best not to wake Jason.
They were barely through the door when Bernie pounced, spinning her round and back against the wall, pressing her body flush against hers and kissing her hungrily, with teeth and tongue and little whimpers that sent heat straight to Serena's core. A loud moan escaped her lips, vibrating agains Bernie's mouth and causing her to match the sound in reply. Neither could remember anything as good, as irresistible and desperate as this.
Unable to wait any longer for the feel of Bernie's heat against her own, Serena lifted one knee up slightly between Bernie's thighs, winning a high-pitched grunt of pleasure as Bernie felt, even through her clothes, that much-needed contact of Serena's thigh and her almost painful arousal, and in turn Serena herself emitted a similar gasp as Bernie grasped her behind, lifting her just a little to grind herself against her thigh.
Her fingers clinging desperately into the Serena's arse, Bernie lifted her over to the double bed in the centre of the room, throwing her down onto it before straddling her and grinding their hips together, leaning down to nibble the sensitive skin behind her right ear.
The sounds Serena was making were driving her wild, making her blood pump and her knees ache. She hummed in satisfaction at the effect of her forceful kisses, making her way slowly down the length of her neck before sinking her teeth into the succulent skin at the nape of her neck, all whilst pushing her black blouse off her shoulders and lifting the top the wore underneath, running her fingers across the smooth skin exposed there.
She let out a poorly bitten-back squeal as Serena flipped her onto her back, both of them giggling as they shushed one another. Serena was quick to pull Bernie's blouse over her head, too desperate to spend time on buttons, and unclasped her bra, tossing it onto the floor with a flourish.
"How long have you wanted this?" She almost growled as she grazed teeth over her nipple, smirking as she heard Bernie's sharp intake of breath.
"A while," she managed to pant, her fingers tangling in Serena's short cropped hair, tugging slightly and causing her to gasp.
"Have you imagined it?" She murmured against her skin, one hand moving downwards to skim the front of Bernie's jeans. When she hesitated in her reply, Serena fastened her lips tighter and more roughly around her nipple, her fingers pressing insistently against the fabric at her groin and making her moan, throwing her head back. "Have you?"
"Oh, god yes," she groaned, her breaths coming in short and sharp bursts. "A lot."
Serena nuzzled her nose against the delicate skin between Bernie's breasts before dipping out her tongue to taste the sweat that was already beading there. "Tell me," she whispered, and Bernie let out a gasp at the vibrations of her breath against the skin, but still hesitated. Sensing she was holding back, Serena kissed her way back up the older woman's chest, right up her neck to her chin before kissing along her jawline to her ear.
"You don't need to hold back," she murmured, placing a quick kiss to her cheek between sentences. "I know you like to think you're a big macho army medic, but I'm not as weak as I look either." She lowered her voice, her fingertips absent-mindedly grazing torturously across the other woman's nipple. "And right now, I really, really want you to fuck me."
Bernie groaned quietly in response, and Serena lifted her head back up to see her looking at her with hooded eyes, heavy with lust. Bernie smiled lightly, a playful twinkle in her eyes. "Not as weak as you look?" She raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah," Serena nodded, grinning.
Before she knew what was happening, Bernie had flipped her onto her back, straddling her and pinning her arms above her head. "You sure about that?"
Serena laughed in response, letting out a little satisfied moan as Bernie fastened her lips to the base of her neck.
"I do think about you," she growled, grazing her teeth over her skin, nipping every now and then as she kissed her way up her neck. "In our office… sometimes I sit there and all I can think about is having my wicked way with you, right over our desk… my fingers inside you, your face as I make you come over and over… it's all I can do not to touch myself under the desk, hoping you won't notice." Serena groaned at the pleasure sent racing to her core at Bernie's words, her eyes darkening as the other woman kissed her chin, her jaw, her cheek, her lips, before looking her straight in the eye with a provocative smirk. "Or, rather, hoping that you do notice."
Serena took a shaky breath, her hips bucking involuntarily just at the thought of her touching her, of her fucking her until she could think of nothing else but her.
"And if I did notice?" Serena managed to pant as Bernie grasped the hem of her cami, swiftly lifting it over her head before reaching around to unclasp her bra.
"Oh, I don't know," she teased, allowing her hair to fall into her face to tickle Serena's neck as she leant back down to resume her kisses, tossing her bra aside. "Maybe you'd yell at me, and I'd grab you by the wrists and push you up against the filing cabinet and kiss you until your lips were red raw." She kissed down her chest, between her breasts, and Serena arched into her. "Maybe you'd walk over to me, replace my hand with your own, taste me on your fingers afterwards. Or maybe, just maybe," she murmured, one hand travelling to finger the zip on Serena's trousers, making her gasp. "Maybe you'd touch yourself too, stare me straight in the eye as you slipped a finger into yourself and lost control, never losing eye contact until you came."
Serena threw her head back with a low wail as she felt Bernie's teeth delicately grazing her nipple. She ran her fingers through her soft curls, pulling her closer to her as she devoured her, making every nerve in her body feel alive. She wrapped her long legs around the trauma medic's slim frame, grinding herself against her in desperation. She felt rather than heard Bernie's light chuckle at this, and soon Bernie's lips were back on hers, crashing together once more as Bernie dipped her hands into the back of Serena's trousers, squeezing roughly before reaching around to undo the buttons at the front. Serena frantically fumbled with the zip of Bernie's skin-tight jeans, her hands trembling with anticipation as she longed to feel her wet heat around her fingers for the very first time.
It felt like a victory when both of them were finally stripped, and Bernie fought to keep her breathing level as she skilfully dipped her forefinger between Serena's slick folds. She reached up her other hand to her own breast as she watched her finger slowly moving in and out, concentrating on every sensation.
After a few moments, she looked up to see Serena gazing up at her, eyes hazy and hooded, cheeks flushed pink, bruised lips hanging open, begging to be recaptured. It took her off guard slightly how beautiful she looked, as it always did, and she felt suddenly very exposed. Before, with Marcus or Alex, there was always something in the background, weighing her down, tensing her up and stopping her from really letting go, whether it was the kids or the guilt or the feeling that something just wasn't quite right. But now, she felt something lifting in the pit of her stomach as she dipped her head to meet Serena's lips, she felt the air had magically been restored to her lungs. She couldn't help herself grinning as she sucked on Serena's bottom lip, pushing a second finger inside her and seeing her eyes flicker shut in response.
Serena rocked her hips slowly against Bernie's hand, quiet whimpers escaping her lips with each thrust until she let out a load moan as the older woman found just the right spot. Bernie felt Serena's fingers teasing her own entrance now and pushed her tongue more hungrily into her mouth, almost as a signal for her to continue. Suddenly she felt herself being filled by the vascular surgeon's delicate fingers, and cried out as she felt her thumb brush her throbbing clit. She had gone straight for two fingers, pumping forcefully in and out of Bernie and making her vision patchy. She knew she was going to come soon, and could already feel Serena's muscles contracting around her fingers as she neared her release. She pushed a third finger inside the brunette and with one final brush of her clit she came undone, biting down on Bernie's bottom lip so hard that she could taste blood. Just the sound of the other woman's scream was all Bernie needed to push her over the edge as she rode Serena's fingers, the pleasure so intense that she almost felt as though she was floating, and continued her assault on her colleague's lips until the very end.
Carefully, she removed her fingers from the other woman, gently lowering herself down so that she was laid down next to her on the bed, their legs still entwined, sticky with each other's wet, and their arms draped lazily over one another. With every breath she could smell the sweet saltiness of perspiration on Serena's skin and the juices that still adorned her fingers. Despite her rapid breathing she still found herself smiling as she watched Serena's own recovery. Tenderly, she reached across and brushed her fringe back into place from where it had stuck to her forehead, before slowly, gently placing a savouring kiss on her swollen red lips.
Serena reciprocated in a lazy, tender kiss. Again she pushed her body forward until they were flush against each other, relishing the feeling of Bernie's skin of hers, of her breasts against her own. It was such a new feeling, being pressed against a woman's body, all smooth skin and soft curves rather than wiry hair and beer bellies, and Serena felt more natural than she ever had in her life. She felt truly, completely at home, and knew for certain that this was her future. This was meant for her. Bernie was meant for her.
After a few moments Bernie pulled back from the kiss. "You're amazing," she whispered, her eyes twinkling.
Serena raised an eyebrow playfully. "You're not so bad yourself," she smiled, her fingertips absentmindedly brushing Bernie's spine.
"Is that all?" She teased, tightening her arms around Serena's waist and resting her forehead against hers.
Serena grinned. "Well…" She murmured, recapturing her lips, lifting her hands to caress the back of her neck.
Eventually she pulled back, feeling her body heavy with exhaustion and the need for sleep. "I could kiss you forever," she whispered against the older woman's lips, placing another gentle peck there. "But right now I really need sleep."
Bernie nodded, giving her one final, lingering kiss before untucking the cover from beneath them and pulling it up to their shoulders as Serena puffed up their flattened pillows. She turned away from Bernie, settling back into her arms and interlacing their fingers, bringing her hand up to place a soft kiss to Bernie's knuckle.
"Goodnight, solider?"
Bernie chuckled. "Don't you mean Major?" She kissed her shoulder.
"Yes, that," she replied sleepily, squeezing her hand. "G'night."
"Goodnight Serena."