So this is my first fanfic! Feel free to leave compliments and constructive criticism, but no flames please! They aren't very helpful. I hope you leave me a comment!

Disclaimer: NO I don't own Naruto. I PROMISE I wont try to tell anyone otherwise…

Key:

'Sakura' Sakura thinking to herself/responding to inner sakura

' sakura ' inner sakura

"Sakura" People talking

The Passing of Time

Preface

Oh how the time passes…a blur of memories, feelings, people and places. Life. Then there are those events that pound on the brain, burn into your vision and disrupt the otherwise smooth path life takes. These events cannot be ignored, rationalized or forgotten. They mould us into who we are and who we will become. For me, one such event was the day that the twelve-year-old love of my twelve-year-old life; Uchiha Sasuke left me on a park bench.

Chapter One: 4 Years Later

Its been exactly 4 years since that day. 'Today almost feels like an anniversary, albeit a dismal one' I thought to myself, bring a small grin to my face as a lay sprawled on my back in my room, unchanged since adolescence.

'Of course you couldn't listen to your dad when he said you would eventually outgrow pink and ponies.' My consciousness sneered at me. I ignored the comment. I was seven then. No one grew out of anything, growing up was a distant thought that was incomprehensible. Getting older is one of those concepts that is difficult for a child to grasp and I was no different. 'And now I'm suffering the consequences'…I took this moment to glare at the giant pink (Of course) decaled pony that was rearing up on the opposite wall, kicking up its hooves with a cheeky smile that made me want to set it on fire. I winced inwardly; only I would resort to arson to change up my rooms look a little bit.

'I think burning pile of ash would be a great look for your new room.' My consciousness, lovingly dubbed inner Sakura said sarcastically.

She was once again ignored. I wouldn't try anything like that, people might start thinking I have anger issues. At this I could almost see inner Sakura staring disbelievingly at me. 'Ok small anger problems.' The look did not disappear. Now I had to laugh at my own attempt at denying my practically famous temper. Not that anyone would let me know they thought that. I would backhand them into a wall if they did. I think that a lack of reminder about my temperament is what made it so easy for me to lie to myself about it.

I sat for another minute or so thinking about my increasingly dangerous temper and after winning another argument against inner Sakura (who was also me so it was on empty victory) I decided it was time to leave the warm confines of my bed. I slid slowly from my bed, the haze of sleep still over me. The freezing floor knocked me to my senses a bit. 'I wonder if its necessary for mother to blast the air conditioner at all times' I mused. Speaking of my mother I hoped she wasn't awake yet, I somehow had a gut feeling that she was not going to let the fact that 4-years had gone by slide. She wasn't one to spare my feelings. If there was something to be said she would definitely not hold back. I stopped these ponderings just in time to avoid a nasty confrontation…With the bathroom door. 'Funny, I didn't even realize I left my room…' still confused I pushed open the door and quickly crossed the tiny bathroom to reach the shower knob. 'Hmm must have got lost in my own head'. I stepped into the shower and turned the temperature just short of scalding in an attempt to scatter my thoughts. I wasn't really in the mood to think about anything. Especially to over think everything. When I did that I tended to think of things that shouldn't enter conscious thought---

'Like how many people have "accidentally" groped your mentors HUGE knockers?' Inner Sakura asked innocently.

It seemed she wasn't going to shut up today.

'Or things that I don't even want to think about.' I finished. Like the fact that Sasuke obviously doesn't care for mine or anyone else's affections considering the fact he is still absent. And that he tried to run me through with a sword last year. Even without inner Sakura's comments I managed to hang myself.

' You know, I think that's just his way of showing an intense physical attraction to you…The sword end just came first.'

I scoffed at the idea. She could be a total idiot. It didn't matter any how, I realized long ago that Uchiha Sasuke didn't care about me more than anyone else. If I got in his way I would not receive any special treatment. I felt a pang of pain through my chest. Though the thought was accepted it still hurt. Even if the romantic feelings had long left my system, I couldn't stop caring about the damn emotionless bastard who's jaw I wanted so very badly to break. I shook myself trying to clear my head. It had been a long time since I thought so much about the stoic brat. I reached to turn off the shower since it was obviously not doing what I had hoped it would, and I had been clean minutes ago.

Wrapping a towel around my body I paused in front of the mirror to run a brush through my tangled, wet mess that I call hair and to judge whether I had the potential to look half way decent today. One look gave me an adamant no. Even though my short hair was easily dealt with, there wasn't much that could be done about the red eyes, dark circles and the ugly purple bruise spotlighted on my paler than usual complexion. The bruise was a reminder of what would happen if I let my guard down while training with Tsunade in the future. As punishment I was not allowed to heal it, but it could have been much much worse, she could have smashed my cheekbone. I wasn't complaining, super strength was dangerous. Besides if I showed up today and she didn't see it then it would be…not so good for me.

Finally I had had enough of the lack of positive response from the bathroom mirror and skulked to my room to throw on an outfit that wasn't completely disgusting, not to self: do laundry ASAP. Minutes later I slouched into the kitchen where my mother was preparing me a "delicious" bowl of oatmeal.

'Oh great so sheds awake after all. Lovely, this is exactly what I need' I muttered to myself sarcastically. I went to grab some orange juice as she placed the bowls on the table. I chug the glass as I walk to the table, the less time I had to spend at the awkwardly silent breakfast table with my mother the better. I backtracked in my own mind as I chewed over my first spoonful. Silence was better than when she actually tried to talk to me. Me and my mothers conversations could make the most enigmatic person come to a loss for words. Yes that's how bad. After a few more bites I chanced a look at the woman across from me, if my feeling from this morning was correct then I at least wanted warning before she started talking. There was always a few signs like first she cocks her head to the right and leans back a little--- oh. Exactly like what she's doing now. I prepared for the hopefully short exchange that would soon ensue.

"Sakura, did you realize that it's been 4 years today that I found you on that bench where that, hmm, Daisuke guy left you?" Only she could talk about one of the most life altering moments of my life so nonchalantly. It's because of that day that I decided to become a strong medic-nin. That's why I am who I am.

"His name was Sasuke and yes, I vaguely recall that day." I responded curtly, hoping she would sense my waves of hostility and let it be.

"You cried for 5 days! You wouldn't anything, including all those special meals I made for you." Obviously I would not be so lucky.

"I was pretty sure it was about a week actually." The chill in my voice was practically freezing her water. How was she not getting that this was the last thing I ever wanted to speak to her about?

"Honey when your depressed you lose your sense of time. But really, there was no reason for you to react that strongly. To be that affected, I mean he was just a boy!" It didn't escape my attention that boy was pronounced like "spawn of satan". "You didn't even cry that much when your father died. I thought for sure…I'd have at the very least another situation like that on my hands. But you were barely out of a commission for a day. It was disconcerting! He was always so kind to you…" She trailed off confused.

"Mother! You're being utterly absurd! I was older than, I knew how to handle myself better. Just because I didn't totally shut down for weeks doesn't mean I didn't love him! Did you want me to become catatonic? Sorry I didn't have a total mental breakdown!" By now I was screaming, knuckles white from gripping the tabletop.

"Of course not! No mother wants her daughter to suffer like that! I just assumed your reaction to that boy…I thought maybe your own flesh and blood would mean a little more to you than…than" She seemed unable to finish the sentence.

"Than WHO mother?" I shouted indignantly.

"Than that BOY!" She screamed back, now half standing from her chair. Her face was an ugly shade of red.

'If I push her any farther she'll burst a blood vessel.'

'Not for any lack of deserving it…' My inner finished for me. Shaking the thought from my mind I took a few deep breaths before looking up into her face again to begin what would undoubtedly be a long speech.

"Mother," I began in as soft a voice as I could manage, " I loved my dad more than anyone could ever know, but no matter how you want to deny it, he died doing what he wanted to do with his life. He died in the line of duty for Konoha. It's what he would have wanted, a risk he knew he was taking when he first became a genin long ago. It doesn't make it any less sad, just less tragic. Dying on a mission is always a possibility. Something I know well. Just because I don't wear my heart on my sleeve anymore doesn't mean I don't care. I miss his everyday. He was the glue that held us together, without him, and I know you feel it too, were falling apart. I don't want that…mom…but unless things change that's where were headed. Please think about that." When I finished my longwinded but necessary speech I felt relief. No more secrets. Let her do with that information what she will, but I did my part. No longer hungry I pushed back my chair and made for the door, leaving my half eaten oatmeal behind. Right before I shut the door I chanced a look back hoping to see understanding on her face or hell, even confusion. Instead, I was dismayed to see the only expression I could find was one of anger, probably at me for walking out on her. At least she wasn't yelling anymore. But, it was seeming more and more as if fixing our relationship would take a lot more than my small confession.

I shut the door with a sigh, one day at a time, that's all it is. And if not…Well only 2 years left until I get my own place. 2 years…I could survive that. But if they were all repeats form this morning…. As I began my short trek to the hospital I prayed for my sanity, especially for today because now I was positive about what I had been thinking earlier. This was going to be a really bad day.