Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Final Fantasy, Advent Children, or any other random characters that I may happen to throw into this mess. Now if you please, read on!
Advent Children: Revised
Footsteps creaked on the floor boards of the old church. A lone figure, slowly strode along the center aisle through the pews, a certain sadness surrounding him. If one looked closely, they could see that he was clothed entirely in black, the left side of his attire being long sleeved and the other leaving his arm bare. Half of a cape loosely swished about from his left leg and heavy leather boots thudded against the floor- the source of the footsteps. Messy, spiked blonde hair was strewn about in every direction on top of his head in an uneven fashion. On one side, an earring engraved to look like a snarling wolf was pinned to his ear, the emblem matching that of his shoulder armour. Underneath the shield of blonde hair, piercing mako blue eyes stared at the scene ahead of him.
A creak caught the man's attention, and he gazed upward for the source of the noise, continuing his slow pace all the while. He decided to ignore the noises of the old church and proceeded to avert his gaze downward once more, just in time for a board in the ceiling to fall and smack him in the back of the head.
Cloud unleashed an unnecessarily loud cry of anguish and stumbled over one of the old church pews, breaking it. His pathetic look of being covered in dust and broken wood didn't bother him, and he decided to do what he had come here for in his current position.
That, and the fact that he seemed to have thrown out his back in the process didn't exactly give him the initiative he needed to continue to the altar.
Taking in a deep breath and letting out a heavy sigh, Cloud began to speak what he had come here to say.
" I… I think I just want to be forgiven…" He choked out, tears flowing down his cheeks. Unfortunately being upside down made the tears roll back into his eyes, their saltiness burning to what he could've sworn was his soul.
In a childish panic, Cloud flew from his current position, un-throwing out his back, and returning to the aisle floor on his face. More tears came to his face as he thought of the very person he had come here for.
" Aeris…" He said softly, since the nasty landings he had just experienced had pretty well knocked the wind out of him for good. He thought of the woman, and images began to pass through his mind. Her pretty pink dress, her emerald green eyes, and of course her long flowing brown hair. Long and flowing, and framing her beautiful face.
He longed to touch her chestnut locks, cascading from her top… Just as another wooden board cascaded its way from the roof and cracked him in the back of the head.
" Fuck this shit!" Cloud abruptly stood, cracking his head off another pew. He stormed angrily out of the church, while rubbing all of the freshly made bumps on his head. Climbing onto the motor cycle he had parked outside, he flipped his middle finger at the church. A bird in the sky fell and landed in his face and the shock made him hit the gas peddle. The dead animal fell off and he managed to finally get going on his way. After all, he was only supposed to have delivered the package three days ago.
Yes that's right. The saviour of the world. The one to have defeated Sephiroth and stopped freaking Armageddon from happening was now your neighbourhood fucking delivery boy. It didn't matter if he had saved the world- oh no- he still couldn't find a bloody job. Of course, that situation also came from not really having applied for any, but he needed something to rant about mentally, since that was always a good way to not focus on the road and cause the next news breaking traffic accident.
Lucky for Cloud, the only people on the road with him were three ominous looking people, all clad in black leather and each of them equipped with an uncanny resemblance to his former silver haired foe.
As they caught up to him, they slowed and stayed beside him. Cloud went about for atleast five minutes of this without realizing there was something wrong when people were doing this. So he looked over at one of them.
This one appeared to be the youngest of the three, his silver hair reaching to just above his shoulders. Somehow, Cloud was good enough to judge that even though it was whipping about in the wind which clicked to his mind that they were probably going at least 80 over Midgar's standard highway speed limit. Aside from that, the young man had a pale complexion, and was clothed almost entirely in a black leather garment that looked suspiciously like a feminine cat suit. He held a long, double-bladed sword, with the kanji for the name "Souba" written on one blade and the word "Wutai" on the other. The creepiest thing about him though, aside from the sword that could obviously gut Cloud, was his eyes, which were piercingly green and cat-like… And if you looked close enough you could almost see the line of the contacts that made them that way…
The blonde man stared intensely at this new foe, and then of course flashed his best delivery boy smile. " Strife Delivery Service, how can I help you?"
The silver haired man seemed taken back by this and looked confused, giving Cloud the time to push a button on his dash board. Suddenly, the sides of his motor bike flew open revealing his certainly impressive arsenal of swords and weapons. Without looking he reached for his ultimate weapon and pulled it out, the compartment closing behind its removal. He smirked at his opponent and struck a pose. The three figures just laughed.
The blonde was in disbelief. How could the fools laugh in the presence of Ultima Weapon! He gazed over at his precious sword. And although the Nailbat WAS a formidable weapon… It just wasn't cool. In fact Cloud realized how Neanderthal-like he probably looked.
" How cute Kadaj," One of the other people stated, this one having longer hair than the first. " He thinks that barbaric piece of wood is frightening." Cloud glared at this one, and getting a better look made him mentally declare that this was obviously a woman. He suddenly forgot all about Aeris and focused on the female in front of him. He got hot in the pants studying her, with the woman's long silvery hair and beautiful yellowy-green eyes. Even after vowing to never love a woman with a smaller chest, having taken a step down from Tifa to Aeris of course, he found himself attracted to her. And the black leather trench coat made her all the more a sexy beast. Apparently, this chick had noticed him staring at her, and she looked mentally disturbed, swerving the motorcycle she was on farther away from the blonde and staring at him wide eyed.
The third person, a man took the time to speak. " Are we gonna fight him, or are we just going to waste the gas on these things?"
Cloud then remembered his delivery and knew this was know time to fight. " Hey, look you guys, can we fight another time? I've kinda got a package…"
" That makes four of us." The younger looking one stated. Cloud contemplated this, and then horrified, he looked up at the chick.
" YOU'RE A HERMAPHRODITE!" He cried.
" Uh…" The person's face flushed slightly.
" Ohhhh… Now that's kinky… I've never tried that kinda woman in the sack before…" Cloud said aloud.
Before he knew it 'she' had pulled next to him, and had a gun blade pointed in his face. A leather-clad finger cocked the gun. " I'M A FUCKING GUY YOU ASS BAG!" The apparent 'he' roared, and fired. The shot just missed Cloud's face and he dropped the Nailbat. The four vehicles then screeched to a halt.
The longer haired man still had his gun pointed at Cloud and he continued ranting and screaming at him. The younger one, supposedly named Kadaj, then spoke to his shorter haired brother next to him.
" Loz, should we stop Yazoo?"
" Probably, we don't want him killing off Strife just yet."
" Hmm. Good point." Kadaj looked over at a fearful Cloud and a wrathful Yazoo. " Uh… Ahem. I think we should actually fight now. Mother will flip you know if we're not back in time for dinner and… uh…" The youngest looked onward in bewilderment and disgust as Yazoo seemed ready to show Cloud the only true blue form of evidence that he was male.
" Will you guys do something about him!" Cloud cried.
" Uh. Yeah. Loz, sedate Yazoo. For the greater good of all heterosexual males in the vicinity."
" Sure thing. Oh Yazoo, come here. I think Mother forgot your meds this morning…" Loz shakily held out a pill that he had taken from… well… nowhere.
" DRUGS!" Yazoo immediately sprang from his position and snatched the pill and almost his elder brother's entire arm. Popping it into his mouth he sat down and began bobbing his head in a mellow fashion as if to some unknown music.
" Now. On to the real conflict." The youngest of the three men spoke up. " We have come to claim your life Cloud Strife. And we have come to claim it now."
" But… I still haven't delivered my package yet…" The blonde lowered his head in sadness.
" What…? Are you serious man?" Loz looked at him, his eyes full of concern.
" Yes… I couldn't find a decent job after Meteor… After Sephiroth… So I started my own business. I've never been this late for a delivery, and now…" His voice began to quiver and his lower lip trembled dangerously. " I'LL NEVER GET THERE!" Cloud sobbed falling off his bike and to his knees. " I'LL NEVER-EVER-EVER BE ABLE TO LIVE MY DREAM!" He looked up at Kadaj and Loz, who were both starting to get teary eyed.
Kadaj pulled a Kleenex out of his pocket and wiped his eyes. " That… That's so… unbelievably sad…" He started to cry with heaving sobs. " He'll never… live out his dream… And some guy… will never have a package…"
Loz blew his nose on his own Kleenex and started to sob himself. " Wh-what… was your dream?"
The blonde haired man looked at them with intense sadness. " To… To… Um… I don't know…" He stopped crying and sniffed slightly.
The two silver haired men were suddenly hugging him. " BUT YOU'LL STILL NEVER GET THERE!" They bawled in unison.
Cloud pushed them off and left them to cry. He realized this was his chance to escape and he took it. Taking one last look back at his newly discovered enemies, he climbed onto the Fenrir and drove off.
Unfortunately he only made it about three miles down the highway before he ran out of gas, and thus had to walk the rest of the way.
Of course after a few more hours he had reached his destination. He looked around at the house numbers and looked at the package he was holding. He matched the numbers up and walked up to the correct house, knocking on the door.
After about ten minutes he was just about ready to give up when the door finally opened. A man, in a wheelchair whom was covered in a white sheet answered the door.
" You must be Cloud Strife. Do come in." He said in a low ominous voice that screamed 'diddler' but the blonde took the invitation to enter the house anyway.
" I have been waiting for you. I must tell you your destiny."
" I thought my destiny happened two years ago."
" WRONG! Your destiny has just begun. You have come across Kadaj and his gang have you not?"
" Yeah, actually just a little while ago." Cloud thought back to the experience.
" Yes, they are young and very violent." The figure muttered.
" So, what's your point?"
" Kadaj and his gang have suddenly made their appearance, just around the same time a new disease called Geostigma has begun circulating. This disease is a very powerful epidemic that will kill thousands if these three aren't stopped. Regretfully, the disease has already reached me."
" Again, what's your point?"
" I want you to protect me from Kadaj." The man stated simply.
" Um, why? What did they do to you? And how do you know all this stuff?" Cloud questioned.
The man let out a low laugh. " Having never left my house in over a year, it is easy that one would assume I wouldn't know much. However in every epic tale there is always a character who is crippled and omniscient. In other words I'm fucking useless, annoying, and a downright stupid old dirt-bag, but if you don't drag me along you will lose valuable knowledge that only needs to be told to you for storyline purposes and that the reader or viewer has already figured out."
" Oh. Ok. Well I should get going now." The blonde turned on his heel to leave.
" Wait, I believe you have my package."
" I do! …Oh… yeah… here. What is it anyway?" He asked, handing it over.
" Well, like I said I don't get outside much and while watching T.V. I saw an infomercial about a GeoStigma cure and like any hopelessly death-bound, aging individual I thought I might as well try it to see if I can prolong my miserable life."
" Ahhh, I see. Well bye."
" Fairwell, my child of destiny."
Cloud shut the door behind him and quickly edged away from the psycho's house, making his way off into the night.
-
A/N: Oh well RR, and hopefully you at least cracked a smile at this. And if you have time, review my other stories, I'd really appreciate it! Ciao!