a/n; Here. I promised to repost this and I did. Chapter one isn't all cleaned up yet but I was really excited about getting out the next two so I posted it anyway. I did change a few things, though. This is basically an intro chapter into the mind of Sib and her friendship with Sam. The next chapters will be increasingly more eventful.

Also, for this story, each chapter's progression has kind of been inspired by a song. This one is inspired by First Day of My Life by Bright Eyes.

Sib laid flat on the bed, limbs sprawled to cover the canvas of white. Her black hair stuck miserably to her forehead, her hands too limp to push it away for the umpteenth time. She couldn't tell if it was still damp from the shower or if it was sweat. She offered a low groan into the silence of the cream colored room. The warmth of the place was making her tired. She hoped that night would fall soon. The day seemed a bit too long for her liking.

Her toes hit the edge of the bed and cold air from the vent below came barreling out to greet them. She was too tired to even shiver as the heat surrounding her began to subside. Her body ached and everything around her was fading into the backdrop, the lines of reality blurring quickly as she lulled in and out of sleep. She let her eyes slip shut, her grip loosening on the edges of the bed. Thankfully the pain was beginning to pass, too.

"Stay awake, it's important that you watch over things." Sib mentally reminded herself mid-drift. Maybe she should have stayed by the door, sitting in her favorite chair and waiting. The bed was a bad, bad idea. The woman batted her darkened lashes, opening her eyes wide just to be blinded by the florescent light above. She wanted to throw something at the switch.

A chill passed through the room, shaking her back to reality as quickly as she left and causing her heart to speed. Sib latched her fingers weakly around the revolver handle sticking from the mattress and holding still once she had her grip on it. Whoever it was would think she was asleep and she'd be able to get the jump on them.

She waited, heart pounding heavily against her rib cage and hands tensing on the cool metal. She fingered the trigger, counted to ten twice waiting for some sort of noise to signal an intrusion.

Nothing.

Her pulse came down with a few steady breaths and she pushed the gun under her thigh for safe keeping, shutting her eyes once more with a heavy sigh. "Paranoid." She muttered, cursing her jumpiness. Just as the thought passed her lips she heard the familiar squeak of boots on tile. That was no intruder. Her door crept open immediately after, light pouring into her haven like wildfire. She pulled her arm over her forehead to block the light as best she could, turning her head. Sam had one foot in the room and a hand on the doorknob, the other placed over the top of the duffle bag on his shoulder.

"You busy?" He spoke up before her brain could decode the questioning look on his face. As weak as she was, she couldn't help but smile.

"You should know better by now." Her voice sounded more tired than she wanted it to. Sam smiled back, tossing his hair from his eyes with a flick of his neck and shutting the door behind himself. He pulled the bag from his shoulder, leaning it against the wall and dropping his jacket beside it before he kicked off his boots and returned his eyes to her with a chuckle. One brow was raised in amusement, his mouth twitching into something like a smirk as he examined her.

"That bad, huh?"

"Mm, that bad." She managed back, sighing as she sat up and turned to place her feet on the floor. Before she could manage another word he was scouring the room, lifting her coffee cup off the desk and taking the last sip. He lowered the mug slowly- and seeing the fire in her eyes at his action- swallowed it just as slow.

"I'll go make more." Sam hurried out.

"Don't need to." She cut him off, pointing to the small shelf opposite of him. Sam nearly laughed when he saw the row of mugs. "Grab two."

He obliged and carried over the darkest two, leaving the ugly yellow mug by its lonesome and joining her on the edge of the bed. She scooped the red mug from his hands, silently thanking him with a nod. Almost like a magnet her mouth greedily latched onto the lip of the mug, not pulling away until it was a fourth lighter.

"So, how'd it go?" She spoke finally, setting her cup aside. Sib hadn't realized Sam had even moved, let alone drank half of his own.

"It.. Went." He looked down, hands folded in his lap and eyes directed at the floor. She raised a brow in confusion. He was never that quiet. Before his name could pass her lips in the most pleading of ways he spoke up again. "I just wish you could've been there." The silent 'I needed you' made her heart drop. The last thing either of the Winchesters needed to deal with was a sin-speaker.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." His reply was edgy compared to his usual tone. Sam had grown tense in seconds and she knew exactly why. He was still upset about what happened before the trip. "It was Dean's call, not yours."

"Dean was just doing what he thought was right. I can't hold it against him."

"But I can." Sam interjected quickly. Before she could speak again he had started off on a tangent. "He knew what this meant to you. You know better than to get your emotions involved and-"

"Hey." She spoke quietly, resting her hand on his knee. "I appreciate you sticking up for me but I'm fine with it."

Sam turned his head to her slightly, a pained look on his face. "No, Sib. When do you get revenge? You deserved to go. You were denied your peace."

In honesty, she was upset they'd left her there. Sam was right, she did deserve to go. She was a valuable asset and knew way more than either of the boys about the damn thing they were after- the thing she'd been after most of her life. She didn't get her big payoff and she was furious about that. She'd never let Sam know that, though. Nobody would ever know the punching and screaming and crying that ensued when the Impala pulled out of the driveway. "I have peace. I thank you for giving it to me. You gave me my revenge and that is more than anyone has ever done for me."

That had caught him off guard. Sam opened his mouth to protest but instead stopped himself, running his tongue over his lips. "I.. You're welcome. I'm sorry I couldn't do more."

Sib laughed at this, shaking her head at the man. "You don't give yourself enough credit." Once he seemed a little bit less upset she tapped his knee with her palm, pulling her hand back. "Just go easy on him, okay? Dean believes he's responsible for us both. He doesn't do these things to spite me, he does them to protect me. To protect both of us."

"I know. It's just hard sometimes."

"Oh, I know it is." She gave a crooked smile, bringing the coffee to her lips again and nearly emptying it. "So, then, allow a change of subject?"

"Sure, go ahead." Sam shrugged but there was a glint of relief in his eyes.

"You miss me?"

As soon as the words crossed her lips a smile spread across his face. A bashful, shy smile that hadn't lost its innocence despite everything he'd went through. Man did she love that smile. "You just wanna hear me say it."

"Pretty much." Sib admitted cheerfully with a large grin.

He chuckled, "Nope."

She played offended, turning away from him and folding her arms over her chest. "My heart.. is broken.."

"Sib!" He pleaded almost immediately, placing his hands on her forearms and resting his head on her shoulder. "You know I did."

"Don't lie. You're just trying to make me feel better." She continued on, turning her head up towards the ceiling like a stubborn high class lady. She could barely stop herself from laughing.

"Aw, come on," He whined back, "don't do this."

"M-mm." She snapped back, trying to ignore the hand pushing hair from her face and the breath hitting her cheek.

"Sib." He whispered gently, turning her head a little with his palm until her eyes were on his. "I missed the shit outta you. It's really dull when you're not around and.. I think Dean missed you, too."

"That's.." She stopped herself from becoming pliable mush, squinting at him. That wasn't part of the game. "Really cheesy, bud."

Sam's face dropped before he had the chance to put his wall back up. "Yeah, I know. I mean it, though." He hurried out the words like they were poison.

Sib had to force herself to keep straight. This wasn't supposed to be part of the game. "Well if it means anything I missed you, too."

The faintest smile returned to his face; only this time it was playful. "What about Dean?"

"Nope. Just you."

He tilted his head slightly, a faint blush on his face. "That's a little cold, Sib."

"I know." She replied nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders and returning to her normal position. No one could elicit as much emotion from her as Dean could. He could make her wanna hug him, hit him and cry all in one minute and unfortunately, it was one of those days. So no, she didn't want to think about him missing her, talk to Sam about it, or even see Dean the rest of the night.

"So?" Sam pulled her from her thoughts and she tried her best not to jump.

"So, what?" Sib spoke into her cup; finishing the rest of her coffee and drinking the remnants off her lips.

"So you really didn't miss him? Just me?" He paused, dashing his tongue across his lips- probably out of tendency. "Why?"

She sat her mug down with a sigh. "Of course I missed you guys. I just missed you a little bit more." She watched him for a second, examining how he'd leaned into her like he was telling a secret. His pupils were dilated. She didn't know why, probably from lack of sleep or caffeine- maybe both. His eyes were focused on hers and his mouth hung slightly. Sam was listening, that was for sure. She just didn't know why it mattered so much. "Why do you read so much into things?"

Sam seemed to snap back into reality at the question, his shoulders slumping back down. "Dunno. I'm just used to having to. I can't really help it."

"Guess I can understand that." She nodded to herself more than him. "So where's the team captain?"

He laughed and shrugged a little. "Probably a bar or something. You know, the usual." He sat back up and finished his coffee too, looking over to the wall the bedpost was pressed to. One of her newest posters had to have caught his attention; Tom Petty.

"We got the night off then?"

"Seems to be that way." He glanced over at her. "Wanna go catch up with 'em?"

Hell no she didn't. She was still made about earlier. "Nah, let him have his fun. Want to watch a movie?"

Sam looked at her, one brow raised and lips twitching into a smile. Thank God he wasn't gonna push her. "Depends on the movie."

"Your pick."