The Chatter-Express Radio Show: A One Piece fiction!
Disclaimer: I do not own the One Piece T.V. series and graphic novel. They are owned by their respectful owners...
Announcer: You're listening to the GLPR—Grand Line Public Radio, home of the famous Chatter-Express show with the host Sunny Eng. The time's now 12:00pm and now we present you Chatter-Express!
Sunny: Hello, listeners of this radio station. You're listening to the Chatter-Express talk show on GLPR, 188.8 FM. Joining my radio show, are the famous pirates from the legendary pirate crew, the Straw Hats. Now, I've never hosted a radio show featuring a REAL pirate crew...since the Whitebeard pirates came to the station. Boy, Luffy's brother really heated up the room. Anyway, the Straw Hats are expected to drop by sooner so let's air a few commercials and come right back.
Announcer: The Chatter-Express show with Sunny has been sponsored by, the marines. They want you...to be a new recruit!
Commercial Announcer: Hey kids! Try Captain Haggard's Chewy Pink Taffy! It tastes good when you're on the sea!
Kid #1: Hey, it really does taste great!
Kid #2: And it's also pink!
Kid #1: I don't care! As long as it's sweet, for sure!
Com. Announcer: Captain Haggard's Chewy Pink Taffy! Now available at your nearest saloon, or store!
(Second commercial plays)
Com. Announcer: Spit Bucket Productions and Warner Bros. presents a horror film you may not want to see if you have a faint of heart, or other medical conditions...
(Women screams)
Com. Announcer: The Night that 4kids Returned...rated R, for ridiculously retarded.
Announcer: And now, we're back to the talk, GLPR radio!
Sunny: Hey holmes, we're back to the important stuff at the Chatter-Express here on Grand Line Public Radio. The Straw Hat crew has arrived at the building and are joining with me in the room right now.
Luffy: Hi mom! I'm on T.V.!
Sunny: Um, Luffy this is not televised—it's a radio show.
Luffy: Oh...sorry! HEY MOM, CAN YOU HEAR ME ON THE RADIO?!
Nami: (beats up Luffy) BAKA! Don't scream that loud on the radio, you're causing our ears to go deaf!!
Luffy: Oww...Nami!
Zoro: Look, can we get along with this? I'm starting to get more sweaty than usual.
Sunny: Okay, okay. Let's get along with it. We're here to talk today about real world events happening most recently.
Luffy: Oh, you mean like I impersonated Chopper and Usopp laughed?
Sunny: NO, YOU IDIOT! THAT'S NOT EVEN A REAL EVENT AT ALL!
Luffy: Ok, just calm down will you?
Sunny: (sigh) Okay. So, we're all voicing our opinions based on the events that happened around Earth, as we know it. Even the listeners are voicing their opinions on the radio, as well. To the people listening to this show, please don't be shy and call in to voice your opinion about what happened most recently. (A/N: That means YOU READERS out there. Submit your opinions as reviews, and they must be about the topic that will be mentioned on this fiction.) Our topic today, will be the 2008 U.S. Presidential Elections. Do you think that the Democrats will succeed for the first time over the Republicans, with the help of Barack Obama?
Luffy: I've never heard of that kind of event before.
Zoro: Me too.
Sanji: So am I.
Sunny: (sweatdrops) Okay, then...we'll be right back after the break. Stay tuned!
Announcer: The ChatterExpress show with Sunny will be right back...with our sponsors!
Com. Announcer: The new Grog Lite beer just got better. Aside from its improved flavour and taste, our packaging is the better of the improvements! When you see the barrels turn blue, that means your beer is certified COLD!
Some Guy: Wait, isn't that copying Coors Light?
Com. Announcer: (in a low voice) Someone better kill this guy.
Some Guy: Uh-oh...
Com. Announcer: The new Grog Lite! Feel the alcohol's PIRATE POWERRR!
Announcer: And now we're back to the opinionated talk, Grand Line Public Radio...188.8 FM!!
Sunny: Hey, we're back guys! I see Luffy has been stopped from chewing out the wires for our audio equipment by Zoro. Of course, I did promise him some meat for arriving to the show, but...heh the meat will come soon!
Luffy: WHERE'S MY MEAT?!
Sunny: It's coming, Luffy. Anyway, we explained the current topic we're gonna voice our opinions about and that's the 2008 U.S. President Elections. With two months to go, Democrat Barack Obama has chosen his VP nominate and is ready for the election. But, the question is, will the Democrats power over the Republicans in the presidential race with the help of Obama himself? We asked that question over the airwaves, and it seems that...we have...a caller. OKAY! Let's head over to Line #1. Hello, you're on the ChatterExpress!
Caller: Hello? Is this the host of the show?
Sunny: Yeah, you're on ChatExpress.
Caller: Oh, hello! My name's uRufu, and I'm from Indonesia. I'm still curious about the 2008 U.S. Presidential Elections, um, please answer that I wanna know.
Sunny: Well, uRufu, I have known recent developments that Democrat Obama has choesn Joe Biden as his Vice-Presidential nominate. Now, Joe Biden is a Senator in the state of Deleware and he has done stuff in the past that made him the running mate for Obama. On the Republicans side, John McCain has decided which running mate he would choose. In general, this must be a biggest battle a U.S. election has ever experienced. Currently, most of the States are in favour of McCain, but once the real elections start things will soon change dramatically...or not. Did you catch all of that, guys?
Straw Hats: Zzzzzzz...
Sunny: (thinking) Oh brother...
(Sunny then pushes a button that lets out a hawk wailing loudly in the room)
Straw Hats: (awake) AAAAAHHH!
Sunny: Glad you're awake guys! Sorry, caller. You were saying?
Caller: Yes, I have more. Luffy, do you really have a mother? I mean, do you even know your mother?
Luffy: Well, if I didn't have a mom then why wouldn't I be here?
Zoro: Considering your intelligence...
Luffy: ...
Sunny: ...
Luffy: But seriously, I haven't seen my mother in a long time. It's just like, you know, you're trying to find the One Piece and then you forget a lot of things!
Sunny: Wow, that's really a good answer there, Luffy!
Luffy: Gee thanks, sir!
Zoro and Sanji: (Glare at each other in sarcasm mood)
Caller: Oh, and more thing...what are your thoughts about 4kids Entertainment? I want all of you to answer that.
Sunny: You mean, 4crap? Personally, I hate how they dub anime FOR THE RECORD. In fact, they shouldn't deserve the name "4KIDS ENTERTAINMENT"! God, I'll never watch another dubbed anime again...
Luffy: He's right! They made me sound like a girl with a soar throat!
Zoro: THEY CHANGED MY NAME TO ZOLO! What kind of bastards would they do this to me?!
Nami: Also, THESE SICKOS MADE ME SOUND LIKE A PRE-TEEN! And why would they change my attack names like this? What's wrong with the name "Thunder Tempo"?!
Sanji: ...yeah, they gave me a Brooklyn accent. And my cigarrette was changed to a lollipop. Damn.
Usopp: I SOUND GIRLIER THAN LUFFY! AND THEY RUINED MY CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!
Rest of Nakama: AND THAT'S NOT ALL!
Caller: Thank you guys! Good-bye!
Sunny: Okay, time now for our sponsors. The ChatExpress will be right back!