A/N: The prompt for this one was: "4 times Romanoff tries to tell Skye she loves her and the 1 time she does."
This one's in the same universe as sharpen your blade but no one escapes and stitch her back together some things never change. Also, I feel like someone on here asked me for some fluff and for them to go on a vacation, so that's in here too.
take me to the sea / (the sea, the sea) and you and me
I.
"I don't want to go on vacation," Skye mutters. "Don't even want to be here looking like this."
She gives Natasha a watery smile. "I look stupid."
Natasha tries to find the words to tell Skye there's no possible way she looks stupid. Weak, maybe. Fragile, yes. Adorable, definitely. Unquestionably Natasha's.
But Natasha knows Skye wouldn't understand any of that. All Skye can see is her imperfections – her physical and mental injuries caused after the Inhuman girl survived an earthquake that leveled a village. Many of her physical injuries have healed, but Skye still requires a walker to move around the base, leg braces to support her ankles and specialized braces to keep several unstable bones in her arms in place. Mentally Skye's still overly emotional, prone to inexplicably bursting into tears or flying into a sudden rage, and some words, especially names, get stuck between her brain and her mouth. Her sleep is full of nightmares, her vision is blurry, she's unsteady on her feet and frequently dizzy, and some days her stamina is so low that she takes three naps. Lately she's added crippling headaches and a difficulty keeping food down to the repertoire.
Natasha wants to get Skye away from medical professionals, from tests and procedures and therapies, from the same endless hallways where Skye stumbles around, forcing her broken pained body through its paces in an attempt to make herself stronger. They need to go somewhere. Natasha's thinking the ocean. She knows Skye loves the ocean. Darcy, Dr. Foster's intern, has invited herself along as a third wheel/personal assistant, since Skye's care is a lot for one person to handle alone. It's the perfect set of circumstances – if only Skye would agree.
"You need to get out of here," Natasha says. "We need to get out of here. Let's go somewhere different, see different things, try to do new things."
"I can't even handle being here," Skye says. "Can't even…"
She pushes her hands against her eyes. Natasha wants to stroke her hair, but touching Skye during a migraine is like stabbing Skye in the head.
"We haven't decided anything yet," Natasha says carefully. "Just… let your pain meds kick in and take a nap, okay? I'll be back after my meeting with May."
Skye mutters something as she pulls the blanket over her head.
Natasha stands in the doorway a few seconds after she turns the light off. I love you, she wants to say to Skye, but Skye's lost in a tangle of pain and exhaustion, and the words would only bounce right off the tough exterior the earthquake girl's built around herself.
II.
"This place is insane," Darcy says as she bounces around the seaside cottage. "Like, certifiably in a bathtub insane!"
"What does that mean?" Natasha asks. She loves Darcy. She really does. But they've just survived a five-hour flight, one of Skye's scalp incisions started bleeding on the plane, for some reason that devolved into an episode of rage that devolved into tears, and now Skye's in the fetal position with bloody fingers and the fetal position isn't an easy one for someone as broken and as brace-adorned as Skye to get into.
"It's beautiful!" Darcy squeals. "Come on, we've got to get out to the ocean."
"You go ahead," Natasha says. "We'll be right behind you."
"I'll find us a good spot!" Darcy promises, and she practically dances out the door.
When the two of them are alone in the cabin, Natasha kneels down next to Skye. "I need to clean you up," she says. "We don't have to go out to the beach if you don't want to."
"Want to go… want to…" Skye furrows her brow. "Go…"
"Home?" Natasha suggests softly.
She fetches a warm washcloth from the bathroom and washes the blood away from Skye's scalp incision and from Skye's fingers.
"No," Skye says as Natasha gently dabs at her head. "Go see…"
She frowns and Natasha patiently waits for her to get the right word. "Ocean. Go to the beach. Please."
"That's my girl," Natasha says.
They have to leave the walker in the cottage, because despite the fact that it's one of the strongest, lightest, most well-built contraptions on four wheels, it's not intended for use on sand. Skye doesn't mind, though, because she gets to lean on Natasha.
"Shoes off," Skye requests as Natasha's getting ready to help her to her feet.
"Taking risks, hmm?"
"Already took… risks," Skye informs Natasha. "I'm here."
"You are," Natasha agrees, and she kisses Skye.
"Hmm," Skye says pleasantly.
Natasha slides Skye's sneakers and braces and socks off, and together they wobble out of the cottage and across the sand.
Skye's hair gets caught by the wind and she giggles and Natasha thinks she's never heard a better sound. "Beautiful," Skye says as they move slowly towards the water, the rough sand of the English coast under their toes.
"The view?" Natasha asks.
"No. The way it makes… makes me feel." Skye smiles and the sun catches her in a beam of gently twining light.
I love you is on Natasha's lips, but before she can get them out Darcy's running back towards them, and Skye demands to put her feet in the icy ocean, and the way the sun catches Skye's smile makes Natasha want to do anything she can to keep that moment puddled in amber, perfect forever.
III.
"No! No, please! Please. Please. I'm so sorry! No!"
The screams wake Natasha and immediately she sits up, trying to wrap her arms around Skye, to try to stop the nightmare before it gets any worse.
Skye's eyes are open but she's not behind them, her body tense and wild, and she clocks Natasha, hard, with an open hand that leaves Natasha's ear ringing and her head jumbled. She shakes it off, though, because she knows the pressure on Skye's arm is going to hurt worse… once Skye realizes it.
"Skye," Natasha says gently. "Skye, you are safe. Listen to me. It's Tash."
"Tash," Skye gasps. "Tash."
"You are safe."
"Not… not there? Tash?"
"No, darling. You're here with me. We are in a cabin in England. We're on vacation. Today we went to the ocean. You stood on your own for almost a minute because you wanted to put your feet in the water. Darcy took a video so we could show Jemma. After dinner we played cards for Goldfish and Darcy won because apparently she's a card shark. Girl's got a poker face like a statue."
"No. Tash."
"I'm right here," Natasha replies. "Then Darcy got a call from Jane and I got a call from Coulson and you got a call from Wanda and you remembered her name. And she told you that she has a surprise for you, for when we get back."
"Wobble?"
"Yes. Wobble called," Natasha agrees.
"Not… I'm not… I'm not there?" Skye manages to get out.
"No, gorgeous girl. You're safe. You're with me," Natasha says. "I won't let anyone or anythinghurt you."
"So sorry, Tash."
"You don't have to apologize."
"So sorry, Tash." Skye whimpers and grabs onto Natasha's PJ shirt.
"Shh, lovely," Natasha whispers, and she rocks Skye back and forth until the younger woman's breathing evens out.
She'd been about to say I love you, but now she can't even get her head around those words. Sometimes Skye's just too fragile, and Natasha doesn't want to make it worse.
IV.
Skye wraps her fingers around Natasha's as they take delicate, slow steps through the English garden while Darcy bobs behind them reading from the guidebook. "Says here this garden was built for an earl's wife after she caught him cheating on her."
"Lousy present," Skye says. "Too much… upkeep."
"I doubt she did the upkeep," Natasha says.
"Lousy present," Skye repeats. "But pretty roses."
The walker rolls smoothly over the paved paths in the garden, through the hedges and around the fountains and statues. Darcy tries to match the poses of the statues, including all of the somewhat more risqué ones, and Skye laughs so hard Natasha thinks she'll fall out of the walker.
"Let's try something," Natasha suggests. "Let's see how many flowers we can name."
She wants Skye to do it, knowing it'll be a great memory task, but at the same time, something in Natasha is all romantic and silly from being caught up in the most beautiful British flower bouquet.
"Okay," Skye says as they pass by a fountain. She trails her fingers in the water, splashing some up at Natasha. "Daisy."
It's the wrong time for it, but Natasha's cache of completely useless knowledge kicks in, and she begins thinking of all the things flowers mean, running them through her mind the way Skye loves to run her fingers through Natasha's hair. Innocence. Purity. Loyalty.
"Ummm… tulip."
Fame. Perfection.
"The sun… the sun… sunflower."
Pure thoughts. Adoration.
"Lily…?"
Purity. Beauty.
"Daffer-dull."
"Daffodil," Darcy corrects gently.
Chivalry.
Skye bites her lip. "I can't remember any more," she says. Then her eyes light up. "Ivy!"
She turns to Natasha. "If we ever have… have a small person…"
"A child?" Natasha asks, her heart freezing in her chest. "You want a child?"
"If ever," Skye goes on, "can we name her that?"
Natasha can't answer.
"Oh! And roses," Skye goes on. "Roses are…"
Love, Natasha's brain fires off.
"… so beautiful."
V.
"What the hell did she mean by that?" Natasha demands of Maria. She's standing out on the back porch of the cottage. Skye and Darcy are inside eating popcorn and watching a movie while Darcy paints Skye's nails. "Why would she say that?!"
"It sounds like you're afraid."
"It sounds like you starting taking psychology courses at the New School again!"
"Well, I've been sort of low on work for the last couple of months, what with there being no alien attacks of killer robots, and babysitting the new Avengers gets kinda dull," Maria says. "Listen, Nat, is it possible that Skye's trying to tell you that she wants more out of your relationship?"
"But why would she say it by asking for a child?"
"The hidden subtext here being that she's a child right now?"
"No! She's not a child," Natasha protests. "She's just…"
"Well, when couples try to be more committed, what are the things they usually do? Move in together or at least trade keys – you guys already live together. Meet each other's parents – Skye's mother's dead and her father doesn't know he's her father, and your parents are both dead. You already spend the majority of your time together. Whenever we go out shopping you always buy something for her. You take pictures of her, Nat, and you never take pictures of anyone," Maria says. "These past few months you've done things for her that some couples never do – you've been physically intimate in ways that have nothing to do with sex.
"So what's left? Thinking about the future."
Natasha shakes her head. "I just wish… I just wish she hadn't phrased it like that."
She sighs.
"Nat?"
"Hmm?"
"Can you tell me a little more?" Maria asks gently.
"I just… she's so fragile," Natasha whispers, tears flooding her eyes. "I love her so much, and all I want is for her to be happy, and safe, and healthy, and… and right now she's not."
"I think she's happy and safe," Maria says. "She's with you, Nat, how could she not be? The healthy part you're working on, both of you, together."
Natasha doesn't say anything, just leans her head back, looking up at the British stars.
"And for what it's worth, she loves you too," Maria says. "But you've told me that her words don't always make it out without a bit of twist. And at least in my book – my very slim book, as I don't have a lot of experience with dating, thank Fury for that one – having a child, or even entertaining the idea of a child, comes out of pure love."
"That's all so complicated."
"So make it easier," Maria says, and then she pauses, saying something muffled to someone in the background. "Speaking of complicated, Barton just ran in to inform me that Maximoff and Vision lit one of the training simulator robots on fire."
"Again?"
"Never a dull moment," Maria replies. "God, powered people are so weird. I mean, uh, except for the one you're dating."
She laughs awkwardly; Natasha lets her off the hook with a grin. Maria hangs up and Natasha sits in silence for a few minutes, listening to the ocean and breathing in the salty air. She's so focused on the night that it takes the sound of the door opening to jolt her out of the stars.
"Darcy, I don't want any popcorn."
"I'm not… I am not Darcy," Skye says.
Natasha turns towards her, suddenly aware that she's watching Skye walk on her own for the first time in nearly a year. Skye's steps are hesitant and slow and her feet turn in and her knees knock together and her arms are out to help keep her balance, but Natasha loves it all the same. Skye's eyes are focused on her, a smile on her face, and Natasha thinks she's absolutely gorgeous.
"What happened to Darcy?" Natasha asks, trying not to distract Skye from the task of walking.
"She's crying," Skye says. "Because apparently the end of Mulan is… is…"
"Sad?"
"Yes, that's why she's crying," Skye says.
Here she frowns and wobbles for the first time. "Tash, did I make you sad earlier?"
"What?" Natasha gets to her feet and takes Skye's hand in hers, carefully helping her to walk across the patio to the table.
"When I said about… about…?" Skye twists her fingers together. "About…?"
"About a…"
"Let me finish," Skye snaps. "Oh, no. Oh, no, Tash. Sorry. So sorry."
"It's all right," Natasha says, and she sits down, tugging Skye into her lap. "I should let you finish."
Skye sighs and tilts her head so it's against Natasha's. "When I asked for a… a baby. Earlier. Your face was not happy."
"I was just… confused," Natasha says honestly. "And… nervous."
"Because I'm…" Skye indicates her body.
"Because it would change everything, and everything you've brought into my life has been earth-shaking," Natasha replies. "Including the literal earth-shaking."
Skye laughs.
"All I want is for you to be happy," Natasha says.
"I am happy. All I want is for us to be happy." Skye relaxes in Natasha's arms. "Stars are pretty."
"Skye?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you want to have a baby?"
"Right now?"
"No, you goofball. At some point."
"Maybe. Maybe definitely," Skye says, sounding drowsy. "Do you think… do you think… um… you know her… does she look like Mulan?"
"Are you asking me if Agent May is Mulan?"
"Um, yes."
"Oh, milaya devushka," Natasha says, smiling into Skye's hair. "I love you so much."
