By: Well, me and my friend, Brandy… I guess it doesn't really matter if you know our names. Just don't try to hunt us down… We have the power of Dracula (from Dracula 2000) and we aren't afraid to use it.
Disclaimer:
We don't own br>-Gerard Butler (sigh damn,) br>-the Phantom, br>-the Fairy Oracle (Brian Froud does), br>-The Fae (or the Fey,) br>-Sharpies (who the hell DOES own Sharpies?) br>-or the Laundromat (I only work there.) br>-And I took "meep" and "Ow, that hurts like pain" from another story on here (I believe it was The Phantom's Guide to Winning the Lady of your Dreams.)
Hell, I don't even own myself… The government does (but I have a plot to get myself back from them, the password is "Whispered C.R.E.A.M.") I don't think there's anything else. br>Well, I'm not making any money here (Damn!) and I have the power over the plotline, so get used to it. That's about it.
Crappy Announcer Voice (actually Brandy, but that's a secret.): Please keep all arms inside the vehicle at all times. This will be a bumpy ride. Hold onto your hats and if you fall off – well, just try to catch back up. Thank you and have a nice day.
Songé: …erm… Ok (looks at audience) meep Well, on with this charade.
>
Chapter 1 – The Request
"GAAAAAAAAAH…!" I screamed, "I can't take this anymore. I just can't believe how utterly boring this place is." I looked across the counter at my best friend. "I mean, I spend eight hours a day in this place. You would think I could find something to do."
Brandy looked up from my computer screen. Adjusting her glasses, she said, "Well, what do you expect? This is work; it isn't fun."
"I know but, geez, I spend eight hours a day in this place, two days a week. That's 10.5 of my week… a third of my weekend. Grrr…" I said, just a lot hysterically.
"Here, this'll cheer you up," she said, starting to turn my computer to face me. "Wait! Get the chocolate."
I rolled my eyes and ran to the back to get the chocolate bars. "Here," I said, reappearing. I tossed her the bar and we ripped the wrappers open simultaneously.
"Ok," she said as we took a bite, "Ready?"
"Mmmf," I mumbled, nodding.
She turned the computer around to face me.
My eyes bugged and I swooned with a meep.
I awoke to Brandy throwing ice cold water on my face. "Hey! ... Where'd you get the cartoon bucket?"
"That's not important right now." She answered. "Did you see it?"
"No, I'm here on the floor, craving chocolate, for nothing!" I yelled sarcastically. I bit a huge chunk of chocolate and as I sat letting it melt, I stared at my computer screen. "God, in heaven…" Turning to Brandy, but not taking my eyes from the picture, I asked, "Where did you find that?"
"Google'd him," she said smugly, a little too smugly.
"You know what this means," I said evilly, finally tearing my eyes from the sight. I looked at Brandy; I pulled out opera cloaks and masks.
"I am not doing this," Brandy said as I shoved a set in her hands. "It's demeaning."
"Oh, you're doing this," I replied as I donned a cloak and mask. I started swooping around the Laundromat. "The Phantom of the Opera is here inside my mind," I sang, granted I was off-key, but I'm tone-deaf. At least, that's my excuse and I'll stick to it 'til I die.
I swooped around a bit as Brandy stood at the counter looking bored. As I made a swoop by the front counter, Brandy stuck out her arm and clothes-lined me.
As I laid on the floor, blinking away tiny swirling Phantoms, Brandy leaned down, and said, "Now, as I have already said once, I will not do this; it is demeaning. And, look, you're scaring the children." She gestured at the children peeking around a corner at me.
I raised my hand to wave at them, but turned the gesture into a claw-hand and growled at them. The children ran away as I laughed evilly.
Brandy smacked me in the back of the head and said, "Shut up, Songé. You are so stupid."
"Am not," I said, baiting her.
"And I will not play that game," She turned away and pulled something from her backpack. "Here, let's do something else."
I walked behind the counter and took a stool. "What're we gonna do then?"
She plopped her Fairy Oracle on the counter. "Read."
I grabbed the Oracle and ran a few feet away.
"Get back here with that or I take it home and you never see it again."
I slinked back up to the counter and gently laid the Oracle down, quickly bringing my hands back up to shield my head from the Sharpie. When no Sharpies hit me, I peeked out at Brandy. She just sat staring at me.
I put my hands down… and only brought them up in time to catch the Sharpie that pelted its way at my head. "Ha!" I said triumphantly.
I put the Sharpie down and grabbed the Oracle. I took the cards out and started shuffling. As I shuffled, I watched Brandy from the corner of my eye.
"You know," I started, "there's much more to these than just reading."
Brandy watched me. "Oh? Like what?"
"Dancing, calling, requesting…" I let the last word hang in the air between us. I looked up at my friend. "It would be simple. One request."
"No, the price would be too great. I'm not in it for that."
"Too great for the Phantom," I asked incredulously," What happened to Miss I-would-pay-anything?"
"NOT MY SOUL!"
"Brandy, you know as well as I, that isn't what They want."
"Well, Miss I-know-everything, what do They want?"
"Chopsticks," I said happily, holding up handfuls of the Chinese eating utensils.
"Oh shit."
>
The cards were laid.
The chants were… er… chanted.
Then Brandy broke the silence. "How long do we have to wait?"
"We are here."
"Songé, stop shittin' around."
"We are not Songé. We are They whom you have summoned."
Brandy looked closely at me. My hair waved in an unseen breeze and my face was completely relaxed, as though I was in a mystical trance.
Then Brandy reached behind her and switched off the fan.
I snapped back to myself. "Ok," I said, opening my eyes. "So that wasn't Them. You should know They won't come when other people are around." I looked behind her and pointedly stared at the children, once more gathered and staring at us.
I slowly reached for my mask and Brandy threw a Sharpie at my head. "No," she whispered at me. Then she looked at the children. "Hi," she said in a sweet voice.
The children turned, ran faster and screamed louder than they had before.
"Yeah," I said sarcastically, "And I scare them."
"Shut the hell up."
I looked up past Brandy's head. My eyes widened and my jaw dropped. I stared.
"Songé?" Brandy asked a little anxiously. "Oh, please, I am not falling for it."
"Brandy…" I said carefully. "Do not move too quickly. You are about to have an Experience. Just sit very still and very quiet."
She rolled her eyes, but sat silent and still.
"Good evening, Great One," I said calmly, bowing at the waist.
Brandy slowly turned as she felt a lock of hair lift and start twirling.
"Good evening, miss," the creature addressed me, still intent on Brandy's hair. "What is it you would request?"
I glanced at Brandy, asking her with my mind if we truly wanted Gerry in his Phantom regalia.
"HELL YES!" her mind screamed even as her eyes betrayed the worry she was feeling.
I nodded and turned back to the creature. "Great One-"
"Please, I am no Great One. I am a mere fey."
"Good Sir," I said hesitantly, eyeing the creature.
He nodded.
I continued. "We would make a request."
"You know the payment."
"I do," I answered, solemnly holding up a pair of chopsticks.
"Very well," He said, eyeing the chopsticks, as if they were an oasis in the desert and He was a traveler with a dry canteen.
"We wish to have Gerard Butler here, as the Phantom; cloak, mask, and all. You know the new movie. No tricks." I said. "If you trick me, then you do not get the payment."
He nodded solemnly. "I shall return." He was gone with a swirl of wind. The only proof he had ever been there was a single, red oak leaf left lying on the carpet.
I reached out and pocketed the leaf. Removing his card from the deck, I repacked the Oracle. Turning to Brandy, I said, "Well, now we wait."
>
(Alright... go mega-boredom at work! I was on my Phantom high when I thought of this. I earned the nickname Phantom of the Laundromat as well as Phantom of the Copy Room, but that's another story and decided to go with it. I know there wasn't much ((much, what am I saying?)) any Phantom, but he comes in. Trust me. Brandy wouldn't let me get away with this story if he weren't in it. Hope you have a VERY weird sense of humor or this will suck for you. Thanks for reading.)
Look, that button, right down, there will lead you to the Mystical, Magical World of Reviews. Click on it and send me one... (disclaimer, ok, so it's false advertising as Solecito so helpfully pointed out in an earlier edition... sue me, I don't have anything worth taking.)