Disclaimer: I do not own any of this – not even the various plots. No offence is meant to anyone. This is all done in good fun. I'm not profiting from this story in any way. Please, just read and enjoy.
Summary: Sixth year has finally come around, and the Phoenix will soon rise.
Warnings: Extreme OOCness, fluff, plotholes, slash, over-used plots, Mary Sues, Gary Stu's, gods, Americans, long-lost relatives, pranks, angst, lemon drops, cross-overs, and probably more.
A/N: Yes, yes. I'm well aware that I shouldn't be starting another fic right now. But I can't help it! My brain has been invaded. Again, I'd like to re-iterate that no offence is meant to anyone! I've written fics like what I've parodied, and have enjoyed many well written fics that are going to be mocked in this. Please, don't flame – just laugh.
Harry Potter and the Rising of the Phoenix
Prologue
Harry watched the glowing numbers of the clock as they changed from 11:59 to 12:00. "Happy birthday to me," he said quietly as he stood and took one last look around the smallest bedroom of number 4 Privet Drive. All his things were already packed and ready to go.
He grabbed the handle of his trunk and Hedwig's cage in one hand, and a purple wool sock in the other. "Phoenix rising," he whispered, and then he felt that familiar tug behind his navel. In the morning, the Dursley's would find a letter on Harry's bed, telling them goodbye forever. They would be a bit disgruntled that their slave was gone, but would rejoice in the fact that they would never again have to suffer his "freaky" presence.
A/N2: Just a teaser and a set-up. Chapter 1 will be up shortly. Chapter 2 will follow that quickly. Reviews are divine.