Author Notes:

Guys, this is the third part of my four part series - In Pursuit of a Normal Life. Consider this like Book 3. All stories that came before this - A Small Glimpse - A Place To Belong - are all precursors to this story and weave into the narrative. You can find links to all of these on my profile.

You won't need to have read the previous stories to follow on with this one, but if you want some more background - if you wish to read about how Cloud and Roxas met and fell in love with Zack and Axel, respectively, then go read those stories.

Just copy the following into the address bar after fanfictiondot net/s/11952314/1/In-Pursuit-of-a-Normal-Life-1-A-Small-Glimpse -That will take you to the very start of this series.

The entire series is a slow burn. So if you're into that then I hope you enjoy :)

Follow or fave the fic if you want to be notified of updates.

And please leave reviews.

~cream pudding

Chapter 1

One Thousand and Eighty Three

Summary:

Roxas heads back to the see the man he had forgotten. He hopes and prays that Axel waits for him.

Roxas felt exhilarated as he wove his way through the mountains and valleys of Wutai. He looked at everything with new eyes. He wanted to memorize how the country looked, and wanted to memorize everything he had seen and experienced in this wonderful place. Roxas was going to come back, so he didn't need to feel sad or like he would miss the place. As long as he was alive he would make sure to return.

He still crossed over the sea with a heavy heart however. He watched the landmass fade into the mists until it was just a hazy blue smudge in an endlessly blue ocean. Roxas felt that way about Axel too. He had become an undefinable smudge in the background of his life. Just a streak of red and green in the tapestry of Roxas' lifetime experiences. But Roxas wanted to believe that he could also be so much more. They had come into each other's lives so unexpectedly, and then had been reunited even more unexpectedly. That had to be fate - or destiny. A dopey grin spread itself across his face. He really was a romantic.

Once he made landfall in the early evening Roxas decided to keep heading north. It was a four day journey. Roxas just had to get there before the sun rose on his birthday. The romantic in him demanded it, and the excitement he felt bubbling within himself wouldn't die down. He had in fact been so pumped that he had ridden the whole night through. The darkness enveloped and swallowed him. His bikes headlight served to illuminate the winding path ahead. Roxas continued, fatigue far from his mind as he remembered his time with Sora, Riku, Kairi and of course Axel.

The closer he got to his destination the more the fog seemed to clear. He remembered the long days at school, messing around. He remembered the video games, the competition between them all, the big hugs Sora always gave. Roxas couldn't help but grin from ear to ear. And as the night waned Roxas' mind wandered to the late night spent awake with Axel, and the early sunrise. There was definitely something there. Something special that needed and deserved to be explored. Roxas didn't want to go up there and have false hopes though. He knew it had been a long time. He knew people changed. Roxas was a case in point. But he would hate himself if he didn't give it a try.

As the sun peaked over the horizon Roxas turned towards it and cheered loudly, shouting, "Three-hundred-and-sixty-three! I'm coming for you, Axel!" He pressed on until fatigue did finally take him, but he had made good time and covered a large distance so far.

Day 364 dawned. Every morning when Roxas saw the sun rise he imagined Axel also rising, and making his way to the clock tower. What had previously served as a focal point of guilt was now what spurred him on to push his bike further and faster. The wilderness around him slowly started becoming familiar as he was getting close to where Aerith and the orphans lived. Roxas did considered stopping by.

He would have loved to see her and all the kids. They would all be getting older. Roxas wanted to talk to them about Wutai, and find out if they would ever consider going back there. Roxas wanted to tell them how great the place was and how far the country had come. He was just about to turn off the main road to head to the canyon when he changed his mind. They could wait. They hadn't been waiting 364 days and counting to see him again after all.

It was still dark when Roxas rode into the outskirts of the city he only remembered he loved upon his return. The stars had faded away due to the light pollution. Cars, trucks and other bikes were beginning to slowly clog up the roads in anticipation of another busy day getting to and from places. Roxas thought of Wutai and it's measly population of 4 million. It was laughably small compared to the 10 million residence in this grand city. Roxas still felt amazed that he and Axel had actually reconnected. The odds were stacked against them and yet it had happened.

Roxas parked his bike in the mostly empty street. It was like no one cared about this old clock tower. Graffiti marked and marred its walls, and the pavement was a mess with strange blue droppings near the entrance, and a strong urine smell pervaded the air around the side alley. All the other buildings around here were far more impressive, yet this was the one place that Roxas wanted to be most in the world.

It was still dark as Roxas ascended the stairs. He hadn't seen any other vehicles outside so he presumed Axel wouldn't be there just yet. But his heart was pounding regardless.

Roxas pushed the old metal door open. It was surprising how silent it was considering all the rust that was eating away at it. Roxas breathed in deeply as he stepped around the corner, hoping against all hope to see the fiery redhead.

Despite finding exactly what he had expected to find he was still disappointed.

His heart grew heavy as he surveyed the emptiness before him. The sky was beginning to lighten. Sunrise couldn't be more than a few minutes away. So Roxas waited. And he paced.

The minutes ticked over and a red dot appeared on the horizon, distant and faint. Roxas sat himself down where he and Axel had sat all those years ago. He watched the sun rise slowly. Watched that miniscule red circle grow bigger, brighter, and hotter. The red transitioned, painting the whole sky and clouds in purples, which slowly faded and turned everything orange.

Roxas gazed at the horizon until the sun grew in strength and ferocity, to such an extent that it hurt to keep looking.

It was a beautiful sight, but Roxas would have preferred to see it with someone else by his side. He swung his legs back around and placed them on solid ground. "Guess Axel doesn't come up here anymore after all," muttered Roxas to himself.

He felt disappointed. There was no denying it. But he also didn't hold it against the man.

Roxas wondered what he should do. He wondered if Axel still lived in that apartment, and then he wondered if he even remembered what the address had been. Could he let this go so easily? Could he just say 'oh well, I tried' and then leave happy? Had Roxas actually tried? He was here. That was some kind of an effort he supposed.

But he felt like it was a cop out. He had come all this way. He thought he should at least see the man once before he left. But maybe Axel had moved on. Maybe he wasn't up here because he didn't want to see Roxas again. Roxas shrugged at that thought.

They never explicitly made a promise, Roxas recalled. Axel had just casually told him 'Once you're eighteen I'll be waiting - every morning.' But they never put a time frame on that. Maybe Axel thought Roxas had died? He certainly wouldn't expect the man to hang around for him until he was 90.

Roxas all of a sudden felt sad thinking that Axel might think him dead. It made him wish that they had inserted a clause that stated Axel didn't have to wait after 'X' amount of years. But it was too late now. Roxas had no way of contacting the man to confirm his living status.

He would dearly have loved to call Axel, but Yuffie had deleted the number once out of rage. Roxas had been furious with her but they had made up again after only a week. Roxas smiled at the memory of that girl. It was a bit inconvenient for him right now that she had done that, but he was glad that their relationship didn't crumble because of the incident.

The sun rose a little higher, casting long shadows. Yet it was high enough for something around the other corner of the clock tower to glisten and catch the sun's fanning rays, drawing Roxas' attention to it. He got up to take a closer look. Roxas was still debating with himself how long he should spend in Radiant Gardens. He could still visit Zack. Maybe he would know what happ-.

Roxas' train of thought got cut off as he rounded the corner. The floor was decorated with small sticks. They were in no particular order or grouping, stuck haphazardly all around. It looked like a little cemetery. Each one had been jammed in between the cracks of the old paved floor underfoot. Some silver wrapping paper was tied around each one and the ribbons fluttered in the breeze. That had been what caught Roxas' eye. Roxas wondered if these things had always been here or whether -.

He bent down to examine them closely. Some looked a bit weathered, but all had a blue tinge to them and looked like - popsicle sticks. Roxas' heart started pounding a little harder. He began counting them.

1,2,3 - 134,135,136 - 289, 290, 291 - 365 - 593 - 734 - 1082.

It took Roxas a fair while to count. He had lost his place several times, so had to restart until he found a system of keeping track that worked for him. When he got to the end he felt exhausted. 'What was this? If - if this was -'.

Roxas couldn't fathom it. This was almost three years worth of popsicles. Roxas' heart felt pained. 'If Axel had come here every day -'. He couldn't bare to think about it.

He suddenly looked up from the popsicle graveyard and towards the front of the clock tower. The bell chimed six times. Had Roxas really been here for a whole hour? He got up and walked back the way he came, heart pounding furiously. Axel had to be there. He just had to be!

Roxas stopped just as he reached the corner of the tower. He closed his eyes, and breathed deeply, trying to ground himself. There could still be a possibility that he would see nothing and no one. Roxas would have to go around that way to leave, no matter what. So no matter how scared and nervous he felt right now he couldn't leave without finding out. He took another deep breath and steeled himself against disappointment.

Roxas thought himself to have been brave, yet he still found that he squeezed his eyes shut as he stepped around. With eyes closed and holding himself stiff as a board he called out Axel's name - wishing - praying - that it would conjure the other man up. He listened for a short while. The ringing of the bell was still reverberating slightly in the air, but other than that there was a deeply disturbing silence.

Roxas peeled one eye open in trepidation, and then the other.

He felt like his heart lurched forward in his chest. His knees went weak and his stomach did somersaults.

Axel sat in their spot - A popsicle stick poking out of his mouth. He was holding another popsicle over the ledge, letting it drip and dissolve in the morning sun.

They looked at each other.

Green eyes looked somewhat surprised but otherwise pretty cool and unfazed. Roxas for the first time in four days realized that he wasn't at his most presentable. He hadn't showered in several days and his clothes were weather worn with mud splats all up his jeans.

His heart jackhammered, and he managed a shaky step forward. And then another - and another. His skin felt clammy and fingers and toes became like icicles. Roxas hoped he wouldn't forget how to breathe.

He reached Axel, who still hadn't moved other than to crane his head so he could follow Roxas' form as it stalked towards him. Roxas sat down next to him, brushing his shoulder against Axel's. God even just brushing up against him felt good. It was warm and real.

Roxas gave him a sidelong glance. He felt his face prickle and was glad that his hair obscured some of it. He was sure he was red as a beet. He wasn't however very sure about how Axel felt. Was he at all resentful? Did he still find Roxas attractive? For that matter did Roxas still find him attractive?

Those smouldering eyes never wavered. Hell yes, Roxas could feel his blood begin to pool to his groin. That answered that question. Roxas felt like he needed to say something, but wasn't sure where to begin.

"That mine?" Roxas nodded his head towards the melting ice cream.

Axel almost robotically retracted his arm from where he was dangling the dripping popsicle over the ledge and handed the stick to Roxas.

Their fingers touched.

It was almost electric.

Roxas felt weak.

He failed to grip the popsicle as Axel let it go and the ice cream plummeted to its doom. Both leaned forward to watch the free fall. Somewhere far below it hit the floor and broke apart. Roxas lifted his gaze to look at Axel, only to find the other man already watching him with intensity. Axel removed the nearly completely eaten sea salt ice cream from his mouth and offered it to Roxas.

"You can have mine, Roxy."