Gone

By: Imaginary Engineer

-Brittany's POV.-

I'm sad. And I think it's because I lost something close to my heart and I can't get it back.

I've already double checked my back pack and everything seems to be in there. My pencils, my crayons, my notebooks and my wallet are all in place. My locker has all my pictures posted like I've glued them the first time and all my school books are lined up inside. I've checked all my classrooms and they don't seem to have any things in it that belong to me.

Yet I can't shake the sad feeling away.

I've lost many things before. My homework, a wheelchair, my pet fish and even myself, but I've made my way back home thanks to the stars. One time, I thought I lost my headband but I just forgot that I gave it away.

But this nagging feeling has never taken over me completely. It's like I want to crawl underneath my blanket and just lie there and cry and never ever come out again.

I hate myself many times. I just don't get things too easily and I forget stuff almost every day. Quinn says it's because I don't pay attention to anything which is why I tend to miss out on all the important stuff. How am I supposed to know what's important when no one's telling me? Is that how the world works?

Because I've always thought that whatever makes us happy is what we should be taking care off.

This is why I've taken so much care of Artie. He always makes me laugh and pushing him around in his wheelchair is the same as driving. He also like buying me stuff toys and giving me things with magical powers. Sometimes, I think he's friends with dwarfs because nobody can get that much magical stuff in one week.

But it's okay. Because I appreciate it that he always tries to make me giggle. Artie always says that me being happy is his number one priority, and that's his commitment. And I do feel it, especially during glee club and dance practice.

I've asked Artie already if I left something at their place, and he said he triple checked and he didn't see anything. He also had checked his bag and his locker just to be sure. Unfortunately, he doesn't have what I want.

Even Mike Chang didn't find anything in the auditorium when he left. He always checks around for stuff before he leaves with Tina after our dance practice. It's his habit because Rachel accidentally tripped on his boom box one time. Rachel couldn't walk straight for a week, good thing Finn was there to help her get around school. Mr. Schue gave Mike a good lecture on leaving stuff around after that.

I'm pretty sure I've checked every corner of the school, even those places I don't go to like Puck's secret room and the janitor's closet. Under the bleachers at the field looked like some place where I could've left something, but I only found Kurt and Mercedes hiding from Coach Sylvester. They feel that they're next in her line of rage after what happened to me at my locker. I felt so dirty afterwards.

I can't go home even though I want to. I asked Ms. Pillsbury if she could help me with my pre-uhm-predimint {Predicament} was it? But once I told her I didn't know what I was looking for, she said to think about it really, really hard before I tried looking for it. It's just not possible to find something that isn't even there.

But I don't know what it is. I know it's there and it's driving me crazy and the only time I've felt like this is when I feel itchy but I don't know exactly where I should scratch myself.

The halls after school seemed so empty. The sun's already going down and my cellphone's been ringing all the time. My mom's probably still wondering where I am. I can't tell her though; she'll make me go straight home.

I leaned my forehead on my locker again. I keep trying to think about what I lost. Maybe I've lost my mind, but I'm still able to think. Or maybe someone took away my kidney, but it's okay because I have a spare one.

"Cat got your tongue?"

I look to my left to see Santana with her eyebrow raised at me. My tongue was still in my mouth though.

"No. I'm pretty sure my cat didn't take anything from me."

Santana gave me her confused face; I gave her a small smile.

"Why are you still here? Your mom called me and said you were missing."

I told her it was silly of her to think that I was missing. I was right here after all. I was looking for something that was missing though.

Santana sighed heavily. "Alright. I'm going home."

I watched Santana walking away from me. Her steps seemed heavy and her shoulders looked slumped. I guess it was the things in her back pack. She never put that much books in there before. It was putting so much weight on her shoulders.

"Santana!" She stopped and looked at me. I rushed over to her and asked if she could help me out.

She shook her head. "I've got stuff to do, and I've already lost so much time looking for you." She let out a small smile. "I'm sorry," she said as she looked into my eyes.

I frowned. She always helped me out. She was the one taught me how to read the stars in case I can't find my way home, she also told me where to place my things so I'd never lose them, she knew my locker combination in case I've forgotten and she even took note of my homework so I won't get my grades in trouble. Santana was always there.

She was the only person I can rely on when I can't rely on myself anymore.

Santana turned her back and went on her way, her steps still heavy and her shoulders still slumped.

And now, she's gone.