A/N: This is Vegeta's POV to my one-shot "Only the past can make it right". I know it is very out of character for Vegeta to think about love, and even regret concerning his love-life but this is an AU story where Plato's Symposium really applies and the where lead to be with each other. To fully understand what happened you might want to read "Only the past can make it right". I wanna thank everyone who reviewed that by the way thank you I really, realy appreciate that.

-K

I open my eyes, it's 5 in the morning, nothing too early for me to wake up. I never sleep long, don't know why. The only time I managed to sleep in until 11 was the night she and I shared a bed. Nothing romantic, it was just practical in lack of more space on her ship. Usually I go to bed late, because I can't fall asleep anyway. And when I finally lie down I still have that restless feeling flowing through my body. When I fall asleep then, I'm going through a phase of several nightmares, some issue from my memories of being a slave to Frieza and the abuse I had to go through. Some are unreal events my mind makes up, but the most frequent ones, and the worst ones are about her. Her telling me she doesn't wan me. Her walking away from and finding her luck in another man.

I roll to my side to face the woman lying next to me. She is still asleep, her light brown hair covering half her face. No she is not some random woman I met at a bar yesterday.. she had been sleeping in this bed for six months now. She is my girlfriend. If you told me that five years ago I would have probably laughed in your face. I hated contact to others if it wasn't for a battle. I closed myself up from relationships and love, made myself completely numb. But you can't do that for ever, even Saiyans mate, this how this world works. It doesn't work for single players, that's how it is written, not even I can do something about it so I obeyed. I gave in that one night trying to hook up with that blue haired woman. Her rejecting me was one of the worst experiences in my life.

Flashback

Completely exhausted from my last training session in the gravity room I sit down in the kitchen, in front of me a sandwich I got out the fridge. The blonde woman with the strident voice made them this morning. Now it's late in the night and I can't wait to eat those left overs, I'm literally starving and my muscles are aching. Suddenly my annoying host enters the kitchen, but she doesn't notice me. She looks sad, her face all red she turns on the tap to splash cold water on it.

When she notices me she almost has a heart attack.. weak humans can't even sense ki. But when I see her tear-dimmed eyes something inside of me changes. There is this sudden urge to take care of her.. comfort her. I kick a chair from under the table as an offer for her to sit down. I ask her why she is crying, what had happened. And she tells me. She tells me the whole story of how she dumped her long term boyfriend because he wasn't her "other half". Something she has from some kind of fairytale or whatever that the gods split the humans into two because they were afraid of their power and now they have to find their other half. Normally I would have told her that's the silliest thing ever but I don't. I listen to everything she has to say, I even think about it. As I walk her back to her door it overcomes me. She has to be that other half. We were born so many miles apart from each other and still met. As soon as I entered her life she broke up with that weakling, and now for some reason I don't understand, I , yes I the oh so cold hearted Vegeta care for her problems. Without any hesitation I grab her and start kissing her. And it feels good, it feels like it was meant to be. The moment our lips meet I forget all my problems, just to feel them all come back when she rams her knee into me. She screams and yells at me, saying " The two of us are never going to happen." I don't say a word and walk away. This was way too embarrassing. My Saiyan pride is hurt, so bad I don't talk to her for days.

flashback end

The girl next to me is very pretty, I like her, maybe I even love her. But is it the same? No definitely not. But what else am I supposed to do? I can't be with the one meant for me, but does this mean I have to die alone? I hope not. I remember the story of a couple I read about on the newspaper. They were together in their teenage years, but the he was forced to go to war and they lost contact. Both of them got married and had children with others. Now that their partners died they found back together.. at the age of 87. Some might say this is one of the most romantic stories life ever wrote, I say it's one of the most tragic ones. Just think about it, all these years these people were in relationships with people who were somewhat second choice. It doesn't mean that they didn't love them, but in the back of their mind they were still thinking of each other.. for their whole life. You sure say now, so what? Destiny did it's job and brought them back together. Um yes but at the age of 87? To have what? Three years together after waiting for a lifetime? Not to mention their partners who never met their other halves because they were with them. Anyways I'm afraid this is what is happening to me right now. After some time had passed after I kissed her we became at least friends. And it was great I'll admit that. We were great together, and it felt just right. But I let the two of us estrange and that for a good reason. While I was ok with how things were I knew they won't be like that for ever. I knew at some point she would move on and have a new boyfriend. Something I would have not been able to handle. Every time she told me she had news or met him or him that feeling came. It's a feeling that is hard to describe, but it's one of the worst I have experienced so far. It's this feeling of discomfort that creeps up your stomach and goes up to your throat almost taking your breath away. Her.. her with another man. Him touching her, kissing her, doing all the things I can't. No that's something I couldn't have dealt with, it was already bad enough just imagining it or suspecting it. And since I was her friend she might had even told me about them in detail asking my advice and I would have this suffocating feeling seven days a week 24/7. So I came to some point where I asked myself: What's worse? Losing her or knowing her in the arms of another man? Is it better to end it right now which will also be painful or should I enjoy her company for some more months maybe even years until I end it with the worst most possible pain. After a long long time of consideration I went for option one. It was painful and it was sad, for the both of us. I know one thing for sure, I know that we were meant to be together, I know that we were one human being until the gods split us in half. I know that I wont be as happy with any one else as with her and I know she won't be as happy with anyone else but with me. And although I don't understand how the Moirai could bring two people togther who were destined to be with each other in a way that makes it impossible for them. I know that you only get one chance at true love..real true love. And I know that mine is gone, and so is hers