It had been exactly three months since Clarke left. Three whole months (not that I was counting of course).
I was sitting outside on a log not that far from Camp Jaha when my sister approached me. She sat down beside me, resting her head against my shoulder.
"You should come down to the bonfire with us. Everyone's trying to get back into some sense of normalcy, you should too." Octavia said, pursing her lips.
"I'm fine." I replied, my eyes searching the forest for someone who wasn't coming home.
"Clarke's gone, Bell. It's been months, you need to try to move on." Octavia said, resting her hand on my knee. I cradled my head in my hands.
"I have tried. Do you see me going after her? No. I spend all day helping everyone else feel better. If I need to spend my nights out here, on this log alone, then that's exactly what I'm going to do." I snapped. Octavia stood up. She still looked like a grounder, but her war paint was completely gone now.
"The only reason you didn't turn around and walk away with her was because she asked you to stay. You'll do anything for her. Think about yourself now." Octavia groaned. She still hated Clarke, and she had every right to, but I just couldn't hate Clarke. Clarke was almost as important to me as Octavia and it didn't matter what she did, there was a part of me that couldn't ever hate her.
"O, please just leave me alone." I whispered.
"I swear when I see her again I'm going to give her so much hell. She's making you deal with all of this on your own." Octavia rambled.
"I have Monty." I added to try and lighten the mood. It was true, but she knew just as much as I did that I needed Clarke.
She crossed her arms, "You know what I mean."
"It's just…I swear I saw her out here one night and now I can't stop sitting out here, just in case. I mean if she decides to come home I want her to know that she's welcome and that she doesn't have to be afraid of what she's done." I explained. Octavia glanced out into the quiet forest. There probably wasn't anyone out there for miles, but I'd stay out here anyway, just to be sure.
"You could have seen anything. It could have been a grounder for all you know. All I'm saying is that this isn't healthy for you. I know you and Clarke were close, but she's gone now, it's time for you to move on and come recover with us. The 47 are starting this new thing at night where we tell stories around the fire and drink moonshine until the adults kick us out." Octavia said, laughing a little at the end. I shrugged my shoulders. I didn't want to go on pretending that everything was alright when nothing was.
Clarke was gone, possibly lying dead out in the forest and I wasn't about to go tell ghost stories around the fire like it was nothing.
"I'm not coming back there tonight, Octavia. I'm sorry." I said, trying to end the conversation. Octavia took the hint and started down the hill.
"You only have one life big brother. Don't waste it trying to find someone who doesn't want to be found." She called up to me.
"I'm fine, O!" I called back over my shoulder.
"Yeah, yeah. See you tomorrow."
I could hear the gates reopen, allowing my sister back into camp. She was right though, we didn't get second had to keep moving forward because if we didn't, we'd die.
I curled up on the ground next to the log and rested my head on my pack. The last thought I had before I went to sleep was how much I wished Clarke was with me. The weight of the things that we'd done was too much for me to carry on my own anymore.
"Bellamy get up! Seriously, Bell! Shumway's gonna flip if you're late for your next guard rotation." Octavia said, shaking me. What she'd said didn't quite register with me at first so I rolled over and pulled the covers over my head. Wait, covers?
My eyes shot open and suddenly I was staring at an all too familiar steel wall. Octavia walked around the bed (MY FUCKING BED!) and bent down in front of my face. Her hair was up in a ponytail and her bangs hung just above her eyes; She looked like she was fifteen again.
"Mom's going to kill you if you aren't up by the time she gets back." Octavia said, pulling the covers off of my body. I felt cold, but not the same cold I felt on the ground, this was cold from the air conditioning on The Ark. I was on the Ark!
No, this couldn't be possible. I fell asleep last night outside of Camp Jaha. I was on the ground and Octavia was a grounder.
"I made your lunch this morning too. You're welcome." She teased. I sat up in my bed and glanced around the room. It looked exactly as it had before my mom's execution. My bed and Octavia's bed were folded down from the wall onto the floor, the light above the kitchen sink flickered every couple seconds, and there was this distinct smell of perfume and fresh linens around the house that reminded me of my mother. Octavia was standing behind the kitchen counter, wearing the dress my mom made her years prior, as a shirt. There were clothing items strewn all around the room along with sewing needles and thread. My cadet uniform was laying over the high top chair like it always did before I went to work.
"I also patched up that hole you had on the left shoulder of your uniform. It should be as good as new." Octavia said. I rubbed my head and slowly stood up. When my barefeet hit the cold metal floor it sent shock waves through my entire body. This was real, this wasn't a dream.
"Octavia, I need to tell you something." I said, taking a seat at the counter. She passed over a protein bar and raised her eyebrow.
"What's up?" She asked, tightening her ponytail.
"Look, I don't expect you to believe me, but something weird just happened to me." I began. She walked over to the other chair and sat down.
"Last night, I fell asleep on the ground. We were on the ground, the whole Ark was."
"Are you feeling okay?" Octavia asked, raising a hand to my forehead.
I shook her off, "God you don't remember, do you?"
She shook her head, "Yesterday you did you cadet shift, came home, and went to bed."
I got up, tugging on my hair and trying to slap myself as if that would wake me up. Octavia ran over to me and grabbed my wrists.
"Stop it! You're scaring me!" She cried. I pulled my hands away from her and paced around the house.
"What's today's date?" I asked her frantically. She shrugged her shoulders and grabbed our family's tablet. The screen lit up, revealing that it was just a few days away from the Unity Day masquerade ball two years ago. What the hell was going on?
"Maybe you should call off work-"
That was it. I usually had shifts at the skybox. If there was any hope in finding people that remembered, I'd have to start there.
"Where is my shift today?" I asked.
"Um the skybox and then your patrol Mecca station I think. Seriously though, you should take the day off-"
"No!" I said, grabbing the cadet uniform off of the counter and throwing off my clothes. Octavia turned around to face the wall as I slid it on. Once I was dressed, my reflection in the refrigerator caught my attention. I slowly turned to face it, gasping at what I saw. My skin was a few shades lighter, still tan, but not as tan as it was on the ground and my freckles were fainter, probably since the sun hadn't brought them out yet. I ran my fingers through my short hair that was perfectly tamed. My curls were gone and instead it was slicked back.
"What the hell is this?" I gasped, touching my face. Octavia came up beside me, resting her hand on my shoulder.
"Tell me what happened." She said, so I did, and surprisingly, she believed me.
The door swung open and Octavia instantly ran to hide behind me, but the person standing in the door frame with two bags of clothes scared me more than I scared her.
"Bellamy Blake, why the hell are you still here? Do you know what I had to do to get you that position on the guard-"
I ignored her, running as fast as I could into her arms. Tears fell from my eyes as I held onto her tightly. She dropped the clothes on the floor and slowly wrapped her arms around me as well. Her smell, her touch, everything about her was exactly as I'd remembered.
"Mom!" I cried.
"My sweet, sweet boy." She whispered, her frustration with me quickly fading. We stayed like that until I was able to compose myself. When she pulled away, I looked her up and down, still flabbergasted by the fact that she was standing in front of me. She was so beautiful and strong, just as I'd remembered.
"I've missed you so much." I whimpered.
She kissed my forehead and patted my shoulder before picking up the clothes and walking them into the kitchen.
"I was only at the distribution center for a half an hour." She laughed. I wiped a couple stray tears from my eyes and stood up tall.
"It's just...I love you so much." I said.
My mom smiled, "I love you too, now get to work!"
I chuckled and nodded, slipping out of the door and heading towards the skybox.
A/N: Sorry this took so long to upload, my personal life has been very hectic but I promise I'm almost done with chapter two. Please message me or write in your reviews scenes that you'd like to see from Bellamy's POV. I will be posting them in chronological order. Next chapter is when Clarke and Bellamy reunite on the Ark ;)